Here is the proof of what happened last night at the Emmy's. As soon as I saw it I knew that something was fishy. Yes, she swore in the part that was cut out, but there was no bleep, just a loooong awkward cut away shot that could possibly be mistaken for a technical error, but you watch, decide for youself.

I spent the majority if yesterday immersed in this book called Fledgling by Octavia Butler. It is a story about vampires, so to speak, and this particular girl who is a result of genetic mixing of humans and vampires. Her skin is brown which makes her less susceptible to sunlight, so she can be out during the day and can sleep without falling into a deep sleep that doesn't permit her to wake up till nightfall. Her entire family was murdered because of her mixed blood and she is trying to save her own life while simultaneously figuring out who she is, because she lost her memory but not her life during the first attack on her home. I have not gotten to the end, but it is becoming apparent that other vampires are trying to keep their kind "pure", seperate from humans gentically, and that is why they hate her and want her dead. A very interesting take on otherness, hatred, and fear.

I have always been a reader. I remember being young and staying up late reading, becoming so connected with the characters to the point of never wanting the book to end. And now, well, I have read 200+ pages of this book since yesterday, because I couldn't put it down. Partly because it is a relief to be reading a novel rather than theory of one type or another, but also because, even though it is fiction, it is about people. About people's lives, relationships, hardships, joys and sufferings and all that jazz. This is what I cling to. This is why feminism grabbed me the way it did, and this is why I despise reading abstract theories that have nothing to do with individual people. And even though I accept a certain universalism about humanity, I think it is dangerous theoretical ground to walk on.

Dar dar...I have to write a paper. The first paper (whoa 2 pages) I have written on over two years. The last paper I wrote was 15 pages about the way beauty standards affect black women and white women differently. I loved that class because the woman who taught it was from Ohio and sounded a lot like my Aunt. She was also a Black Panther and taught Anthropology with a lens that addressed race and gender and class. She was cool. This paper, not so cool.

I have finished ALL my readings for this week! I have spent the majority of this week reading about various approaches to human rights, human security, and human development. I must admit, this kind of stuff is not my forte. I have never been particularly interested in politics because I lean to the side of things that assume that for the most part, they are all corrupt in some way or another. I question the feasibility of these ideas...is it really possible to put a minimum of rights and securities into place through institutions that are perhaps causing the very problem they are supposedly trying to eradicate? Is there even a possibility of international consensus on what these rights should be?
I guess I haven't really thought very much about what IS going on in the international arena to address these kinds of issues. Yes, I know that the UN exists, I have indeed heard of the Human Rights Approach. But did you know that there is also the Human Development Approach, the Human Security Approach, the Basic Needs Approach, etc? I certainly had no idea that there was this type of academic theorizing going on. I must perhaps give them a hand for attempting to name and address poverty, hunger, health care, education etc, on a global level, but one thing they do not do is ask WHY or HOW these issues became realities in the first place. It does no good, in my opinion, to try to "fix" these realities, to offer solutions, without first addressing the problems. It is easier to talk about money, about health services, about children going to school, than to talk about ideologies, hegemonies, pervasive cultural constructions of gender, race, class, etc. This, to me, is like trying to run the wrong way on an escalator. You can put lots and lots of energy into trying to get to your goal, and it sure does look like you are working hard, but chances are you will run out of steam before making it to the top.
Is my idea less realistic then theirs? Is it possible to change hundreds of years worth of oppressive ideologies? How many generations would it take before they were completely if ever gone? How would one even go about attempting this massive feat? I honestly don't know.
I am not saying that I don't think people, nations, institutions of various shapes and sizes should stop their efforts to make the world a little more bearable for those in need, but I do not think that this is a sufficient strategy for ending the hunger, the povety, the pain that is so prevelant in this world.

Meh. I got up at 11 thinking I would just jump on here and then start reading, but alas, I was wrong. It is now noon and gasp, I haven't even had my coffee yet.

I am basically writing this post to place a bookmark on what entries I have read. I am not ashamed.

So, (e:fellyconnelly) and I went to see Melissa Ferrick and Ani DiFranco last night at what was formerly known as "The Church" but has be renamed "BabeVille". Very cute. The church us on W Tupper and Delaware and is actually two seperate buildings that are smushed together on the outside. The concert was in the sanctuary part of the church which was completely redone inside, new paint on all the walls and ceiling and all the pews ripped out to form a giant open space in front of the stage, along with the balcony which still retains the original historic pews (where we old folks sat for the show). Yesterdays concert along with one on Tuesday night represented the grand opening of The Church's new state of the art sound system and performance venue. Aparently they are working on a little bar/lounge in the basement for smaller performances and there is also a modern art gallery in there somewhere too.

Anyway, the show was fabulous. I must admit, I really like Melissa Ferrick, but when you are able to compare the two so directly it is obvious who has been around awhile. Ferrick generally stood in the same spot on stage and while the crowd certainly loved her, she was nothing compared to Ani. Ani came onstage and the whole crowd erupted to the point where it was almost painful because of the noise level. And when she started playing, dancing around stage, doing the oh so typical Ani leg lifts in sync with her guitar strums along with great chemistry with her band, which consisted of a stand up bass player, a drummer and a "vibraphonist" who added a unique sound to the whole thing, well she rocked.

The music was a delightful mix of old and new, along with some of her poetry/spoken word mixed in. It was enough so I was never bored waiting for her to play a song I knew. I also was happy that she so outspokenly talked about motherhood, love, growing up, and sang new songs about her daughter. It is this kind of things that remind us all that she is human.

Anyways...I had a fabulous time and when she sang the song with the words "I built my own empire out of car tire and chicken wire" it became very apparent that she indeed has.

So yesterday our friends girlfriend took us to the sculpture fields or something like that out past spring...field? view? i dunno. anyways, it was super cool and I really wish I had know where we were going so I could have brough my camera. But I guess it was kinda nice to be without it...I guess.

Anyways, we started walking and this chick leads us up up up this trail and we stop at some arbitrary point and she's like, uh, let's turn around. And so we did. Overall it ws very fun and I would much like to go back and am glad that I know where it is now.

But the point is...that after we returned I started noticing that my legs hurt, and were almost to the point of shaking whenever I stood up. Of course I knew it was a result of our upward climb, but I was surprised that my body couldn't handle that type of excercise.

Before I had a car I often walked to work which was about a 15 minute walk. Later after getting the car I stopped this and noticed a slight decline in my ability to walk without getting cramps or what have you, but I was still on my feeet 8 hours a day and was often doing heavy lifting such as crates with 4 galls of milk in them. But now, I don't walk because obviously, the campus is not within walking distance and I admit to being inclined to laziness.

So now, a day after, my legs still hurt. I was hoping it would go away with a good nights sleep, but I was sorely mistaken. Now I am thinking, damn girl, you aren't getting any younger, what are you going to do about this pathetic inability to move your body? I guess this is something I need to work on.

Also, seperately, I would like to say that I enjoyed our time spent with Jim and James at Colter Bay, although it was way more crowded than the first time we went there, so we hid in the back part. However, I will admit that my jaw and cheeks hurt because I had been laughing so much. This is not a bad thing.

I am currently reading an article that is comparing racial purity and anti-miscegenation in the US and Nazi Germany. Fascinating. So, Did you know....

"In 1954, the Supreme Court for the first time held one component of the US apartheid sysetem, segregated education, unconstitutional. It did not hold antimiscegenation laws unconstitutional until 1967, over ten years later. At the time of its ruling, sexteen states still prohibited interracial marriage."

From
Racial Purity Laws in the United States and Nazi Germany: The Targeting Process
by Judy Scales-Trent
found in Human Right Quarterly


ahhhh. 40 years ago. Thats IT!!! I dunno, it grosses me out.
I will hold myself back from writing about how "race" is a social and political construct of those in power to define the "other" for their own gain.

Oh yes, and one more fun little tid bit.

Did you know that at one point in Nazi Germany they believed that children who born of "mixed race" were STERILE??? Ya know, kinda like how when a horse and a donkey produce a mule? Yeah, like that.

Yesterday was particularly hot, as others have mentioned, and I had to get in my car and drive to campus to get books, much to my dismay. While chuggin along the highway I noticed that were there is often a message reading 90 W Expect Delays, there was a new message. It read: High Ozone Today, Try the Metro! On my way back on the opposite side another sign read: High Ozone Today, Combine Trips!

So my first question is, what is the idea behind this? To stay inside to avoid the toxic fumes, or to lessen our output of waste because it will only add to the nastiness of the situation. And why is this only a priority when we are having High Ozone days? Shouldn't this always be something to consider?

I myself am a country girl and have never lived in a city, so this was indeed my first experience of a high ozone day. I looked it up and found that it results from excessive heat hanging around in our breathing air, which causes the high ozone and is associated with urban areas, supposing the concrete holds the heat in. Fascinating. I am sure it is more complex than that, but I got the idea.




The house is clean and ready for company. Our first real guests since we have completely finished our aesthetic transformation of this apartment. I am actually excited to show it off. I also get the pleasure of sitting in a nice clean apt. all day with noone here to eff up my lovely cleaning job. This always brings me great satisfaction.

I have to drive to campus today because my Prof forgot to bring the syllabus to class on Tuesday and didn't send it to us until last night and told us not to buy the books until she told us to, which she never did, but the readings for next class are from the books sooooo, needless to say, I'm annoyed.

Tomorrow we have a friend coming to visit and she is brining along her current girlfriend who is also staying with us. Apparently the new girlfriend is from Buffalo and is going to show us "where to go". If she takes us to Roxy's, I might laugh a little. Perhaps there is some secret lesbian bar we don't know about it, but I doubt it. Either way, we are going out on Saturday night.

Ok, I want it to be known, first of all, that I am writing this more for my own pleasure and release than out of an expectance that others will read this, let alone enjoy it or be fascinated by it.

Ok, so this terribly boring liberal feminist philisopohical type book I am reading is by a woman named Martha Nussbaum who is apparently some big shit in the academic world. Wooopty Doo. I decided to cheat a little and look up some critiques of her work in hopes of wrapping my mind around what exactly it is that she is talking about and I found this fascinating little tidbit of info:

"Martha's Protestant father was horrified by her decision at N.Y.U. to marry a Jew named Alan Nussbaum, a linguist she met in a class on Greek prose composition. But she was an eager convert. "I had an intense desire to join the underdogs and to fight for justice in solidarity with them," she has written. For Nussbaum, Judaism offered a sense of community lacking in her own upbringing."

Now, I might be wrong here, but isn't this like, really fucked up? Did she really love this man or had she simply fallen in love with the idea of being an "underdog"?? Was this her pathetic attempt to dissolve her own priveledges and to feel like she was more worthy of attacking oppression, because by marrying a Jew and converting to Judaism, she too could now join the ranks of an oppressed group? This to me, sounds similar to women who, during the 2nd wave of feminism "converted" to lesbianism not because they loved other women in a romantic way, but because it was seen as a political necessity because sleeping with a man was sleeping with the enemy. Gross.

Maybe I am being over dramatic, ridiculous, I don't know. but something about it just scratches at my very core and I can't quite get it to go away.