(I started this as a comment, but it got way too long.)

Oy, this is a huge topic... But I think valid points can be made on both sides.
I don't believe in God just b/c I think it's a bunch of impossible crap. (hell I'm a scientist.) Some big mysterious force that made the universe in a few days? Bullshit. Immaculate conception? Bullshit. Resurrection from the dead? Bullshit. Heaven/hell? bunch of crap. Turning water into wine, no way. and on and on and on. Yeah yeah I know, the Bible isn't meant to be taken so LITERALLY, it's all in the translation, etc. Maybe. But I think the majority of people out there who do believe the bible, believe it literally. I have a problem with organized religion in most incarnations because it brainwashes people... it makes excuses. it justifies things. and punishes other things.

That said, it is maybe a little scary to think that maybe we really ARE all that there is. I mean I'm ok with it, but I think for many people it's comforting to believe in SOME sort of "higher power"- just to think and hope that maybe there's a point to it all.

So religion to some degree is fine with me. If it gives people comfort to have something to believe in, if it helps them cope with hard times, that's great. I think that's what it's meant for. If it helps them cope with things that are just too cruel to imagine otherwise (loss of child, etc)- great. Good for them. And I think most major organized religions are founded on a set of 'rules to live by'. Thou shalt not kill, etc. Most of which are pretty good advice.

Believe what you want, I couldn't care less- as long as (this is the key)- you don't force it on me. My problem comes when religion (or atheism even) is taken to either extreme- the zealots and fanatics.
The obvious extreme is war.... annihilating whole countries/societies/cultures because they don't believe in your God? How fucking stupid is that??
Fine, you believe "murdering babies" is "against the bible". Then don't have an abortion. that's your choice. But don't you dare try to tell me what I can do! And what is mind-boggling is when abortion clinics are blown up. It's not ok to "kill" a bunch of non-viable cells (that are most likely destined to a crappy life since they are unwanted)- but it's just fine to blow up a building containing a bunch of productive adults because you don't like what they do? WHAT?
You think evolution is bullshit? Fine. But don't tell me I can't let my kid learn it in school.
You think it's wrong that I use birth control? Fine, then you can raise my unwanted kids. You think I'm a sinner because i'm not married and I've had sex? all I can say to that is I feel sorry for you, you're missing out. haha.

I don't like FORCING people to believe things. I don't like the concept of "god-fearing". The whole catholic guilt thing. And jewish guilt. And making muslim women cover their faces... a lot of it just isn't decent... It's counterproductive.

I could go on forever, but I'll try to reel it in... I think the bottom line is that religion, like anything else- has to be done in moderation. If it's not for you, great. Yeah, I kind of laugh at people who believe all that god/miracle crap- but whatever. If it makes you feel good, if it makes you treat your fellow man better- it's no skin off my back if you want to go to church. Even I can see the pleasure in sitting in a cool dark stone building and hearing some music once in a while...

All I'm really trying to say is- can't we all just love each other? And sing and dance and hug and kiss and play in the flowers with the angels and unicorns? ;)

Come join the church of alex.
The main tenets-
Be a good person. (i.e. don't kill, rape, steal, etc).
Respect each other- even if you disagree.
Enjoy yourself.
If you fuck up or hurt someone, say sorry.
If someone hurts you but apologizes- move on.

Didn't we all learn this in first grade?
"do unto others as you would have others do unto you?"
It's pretty simple.

Not that most people are insomniacs by choice...
But right now I feel like the opposite- I think most insomniacs WANT to sleep, they TRY to sleep, but they CAN'T. (correct me if I'm wrong.)
But right now I DON'T want to sleep (can't afford to, not enough hours left in the the day), and I would be asleep before my head hit the pillow if I lay down, but I have to fight it.
I slept about 2 hours on wednesday (i was on call), and about 5 yesterday. i can barely keep my eyes open, but I fear that I will have to pull the old all-nighter tonight. Which scares me. If my brain is mush now, (i was RETARDED at work today- at one point I thought they were going to send me home [which would have been fantastic]), I don't want to imagine what it's going to be like tomorrow for my test. :( scary. Then unfortunately I have to go straight to work from the test, and stay awake until probably noon on sunday. So 7 hrs of sleep for wed-sun? Man that sucks.

But I really shouldn't complain, since it's totally my own damn fault.
(though I blame work, being sick, the ex, and estrip for my lack of focus lately.) ;)
Fortunately I tend to work well under pressure- we'll see if that's enough to save my ass this time. I wish I wasn't such a procrastinatrix extroadinaire. (though actually I love it. And so I have to pay the price once in a while)

Ok kids, over and out. Time to lock up the computer, put on the coffee, and get to work...
Wish me luck!
(and if you catch me on here tonight, kick my ass!)

God sunday morning can't come fast enough!
Then I can drink and procrastinate and hang out with people again to my heart's content without feeling guilty about it.

Ok, so work fucking blew yesterday. People are being weird and bitchy and high-schoolish. Whispering to each other, excluding people... god it was miserable. I spent the whole day running around two steps out of sync, and then getting yelled at for either not knowing what they refused to tell me, or for not telling them things, when in fact I tried a million times but they wouldn't listen. Aren't we too old for this? Then they were punishing me or something this morning (why I have no clue) and dumping work on me so I stayed like 4 hours late and didn't get home til 1 today.

Ok, sorry for the vent. Point is that all day long I kept thinking of little things to post, but never had a chance to, so I made a list. So here's a whole hodgepodge of crap.

First, a link for (e:Joshua) about the "classic" vs "modern" Hippocratic oath. Pretty interesting. Especially the part about considering "he" that taught me medicine as my father, and taking care of his children like my own, and teaching them all I know for free. And the part about not doing abortions. And the fact that "first do no harm" is nowhere in the thing.


And for (e:metalpeter)- when I walked into work yesterday I noticed a little autographed "Briere #48" stat card on the desk... I guess since he's injured and not playing he watched the game from the hospital, and one of my patients was on tv with him. (and my coworker chilled with him all night too. Said he's a cool guy. But short.) Since I don't know shit about (pro) hockey, and really couldn't care less, I had no idea who he was. (kind of funny, since I actually PLAYED hockey for 3yr in high school. (I was terrible.))

As I spent practically an hour scouring the cold medicine aisle at walgreen's the other day, I stumbled into the candy aisle- my god it is valentine's hell in there. All the red heart boxes... it was suffocating.

For the record- I have the worst med student of all time these days. He's awful. I am saying that here since I don't have the heart to tell him. He's useless! I mean even the less-than-genius ones are ok if they show (or at least fake) SOME interest, and TRY, but this guy just zones out and walks off and checks espn.com. Doesn't even pretend to try to help or want to learn. Oy. It's miserable. He is going to get eaten alive at ECMC next month.

Saw something weird in the elevator yesterday- a guy with really fat EARS. I mean he was a big guy, but in like a "65 year old grandpa with a gut" kind of fat way. But he just had these crazy fat earlobes... I couldn't stop staring. Bizarre. I kept thinking he could use some ear liposuction, and then how insane an idea that was. (almost as bad as vaginaplasty- which my friend (dog work crush #2 in fact) insists is a great idea, because 'no one wants a girl with mud flaps.' That's nice imagery.)

Ok, so I mentioned that work was a fucking soap opera yesterday. Everyone whispering and/or pissed off. The nurses were like 'oh... is THAT what they're all mad about?" and I had no idea what/who they were talking about, it totally spiraled into mass confusion. Til some (black) parents walked out all pissy, and Tasha (who is black) had to go try to pacify them. Afterwards someone asked "Tasha, what was that all about?" and she said "you wouldn't understand. It's a black thing." People were understandably a little offended that she would say that. I mean it's 2006 peeps. We've all had our PC sensitivity training bullshit. So some nurses were like "what do you mean we wouldn't understand?!" and Tasha said "well, like if they said 'where's the shiznit they gave us yesterday that worked so much better?' you wouldn't know what they meant." Oh.... Right.... Shiznit is secret black code that NO white person could ever possibly crack. STUPID!

Who the fuck decided to make sodium free saltines? They're called SALTines people!! The one food staple I can find in the hospital is "salt"ines, and soda- either diet ginger ale, or caffeine free coke. What a mean joke. Makes for a terrible "dinner".

So I think I will obstruct a little justice today...
Just got a weird email- I guess I have an efax number. Didn't even know it. But I just got an email of a fax that came to it. Wrong number, obviously. But it was from a personal injury firm, to a hospital requesting the records of a woman named Charlemagne (I shit you not), in her case of the 'slip and fall.'
Ooooh I am SO not helping Charlemagne weasel wegmans out of money because she walked where it said "warning, slippery" and fell. (no idea what the case actually is.)
There are not many people I respect LESS than personal injury lawyers. But I will check myself there on that topic and move on.

And finally, to follow up the PBS (priapism) talk I had with (e:josh), here's a little info from my handy palm pilot:

Basics:
-Description: painful and/or abnormally prolonged penile erection [as opposed to what kind of erection??]
-Age: young adult
-Sex: male only [haha, DUH]
-Risk factors: dehydration, sickle cell disease (>85% of black kids with priapism will have sickle cell!)
-Possible complications: impotence (doh!!)
-Expected course: Even with excellent treatment detumescence may require SEVERAL WEEKS. Impotence is likely.

Causes:
-meds injected into Johnson (never a good idea)
-prolonged sexual activity
(other boring things)

Diagnosis:
-physical examination (gee...)

Treatment:
-reassurance
-anesthesia
-hydration
-pain relief
-sucking the blood out with needles

Prevention:
-avoid dehydration
-avoid excessive sexual stimulation
-avoid causative drugs

Ok, I think I'm finally done.
My apologies if that sounded like a bad stand-up routine. "I mean what's the deal with fat ears!! Right people?? and don't get me started on saltines!"- sorry.

Oy...
Must study.

To anyone that actually read this all- thanks. I'm impressed you put up with my blathering.

And to (e:larsonbros)- the coffee invites are about to run out if you don't accept one soon. Just a heads up that I'm about to leave it all up to you if you keep rejecting me!
Just kidding. Sort of. Love you mystery boys. Kiss kiss.

Good things about spot tonight-
1: the hot guy working there who was very nice and complimented me on my necklace, and gave me a free cookie on round 2. (he loves me. I know it.)
2: finally did a little studying
3: yummy drinks/food
4: stalking (e:mike) without his (or even my) knowledge. (sorry (e:mike). I wasn't sure enough it was you to say hi. But I was in the purple sweater. Hi!)
5: seeing a friend from work.

Bad things about spot tonight-
1: conspicuous absence of unnamed twin(s) despite near-bribery with cough drops.
2: lack of seating due to 8-person tables being "taken" by two people.
3: did not do enough studying
4: (e:Salvatore) did not say hello.
5: impending loss of sanity as I started to wonder if every person who walked through the door was from (e:strip) and I just couldn't recognize them.

Though 1 & 4 may not be all bad, as they would have worsened 3

Since this is starting to sound like a word problem, I will stop.

(E:mike) is this you sitting next to me at spot?

Bleh. I'm sick of being sick.
And I must go study.
But a few things to share.

First, some lyrics from a song i like-

I've kissed you in France and I've kissed you in Spain.
I've kissed you in places I'd better not name.
I've seen the sun go down on Sacre Coeur,
but I like it much better going down on you.

And then a silly doctor joke:

First day of anatomy lab, the prof tells the new med students "there are two rules. One- you can not be disgusted about any part of the body." then he sticks a finger in the cadaver's ass, then then puts it in his mouth. And says "see, now you all do it." And they hemmed and hawed, but eventually they all did it. Then he said "rule #2: pay attention. You will see I put my middle finger in the ass, and my index finger in my mouth."

This is not supposed to happen to me. I never get sick!! Now this is the third time since thanksgiving! I have been trapped in the hospital all day today, feeling my throat get more and more sore and my ears closing up, with nothing I can do about it and no access to the stash of cold medicine I have at home. I mean really, my EARS? You're not supposed to get ear infections after about age 5. I have been sneaking to the ER to steal shots of children's liquid tylenol.
Damn kids... germy little bastards! ;)
Or if not the kids... who else can I blame.... ladycroft? Mom, 500miles away? Josh who i haven't met, weren't you sick lately? hmm...

this is terrible timing too, since I have a huge exam on saturday, and cannot spend this whole week sick in bed sleeping.

So, I am going to try to sleep a little now, instead of trying to get AM work all tucked in in advance. Which means I will have to stay late, but I don't care; I just really want to be in bed.

And on that note, a big hot cup of tea (and to a lesser extent studying) at spot/aroma/somewhere tomorrow after work (>12?) sounds tempting...

If you see me there, say hi. I promise not to breathe on you.

G'night,
Sicky

PS of course: Happy Birthday Paul! Thanks for all you do!

So I'd been planning on a nice quiet weekend full of lots of studying, but then suddenly I grew a pair and gave the boy the old heave-ho. Which was kind of traumatic. And brought about insistant invitations for imbibition. So after a bit of a fiasco of a dinner at sahara grill (food was mediocre at best and service was pretty terrible), (e:ladycroft) and I parted ways and I met some people at at Colter Bay, and we eventually migrated to Mother's. It was a blah night. I can't lie, I would not have been opposed to a little attention from the boys, might have even been willing to give out some digits... Even wore my favorite sexy bra "just in case". Silly me- I should know by now that wearing sexy underwear is a guarantee that I will go home alone.

So it was an ok night. I was sort of expecting lots of shots, etc. But no. Pretty tame. Conversation was inevitably medical, which gets old pretty fast- especially for the poor non-medical people involved. Now, I enjoy talking about shopping and makeup etc, but I realized- I need more boy-friends. not boyfriends (well that too), but male friends...

In college I didn't really date anyone, and my group of friends was largely guys. It was awesome. Then mostly guys again in DC. Then in New Orleans I dated the same guy for 3 years, and that was my life. Then in Chicago was the first time I really had girlfriends. And it was fun. Kind of a new experience... Then my first year in Buffalo was spent with the ex. And now I'm single again. And need people to go out with. And I find I have mostly girlfriends. Which is great. But sometimes I don't want to TALK about everything. I just want to drink and tell dirty jokes and play games... to be one of the guys.

I guess my point is- I find myself with some slots open in my friend roster.
Any takers? Tryouts will be held over wings and beer.

And now, time for a (hopefully) dreamless, tearless sleep...

Ok, even by my standards this is probably over the top, so I'll keep it short.

I woke up from my nap to 6 comments, 2 emails and 2 voicemails. Dinner invites, drink invites...
I love my friends.
Means so much to me that old friends, new friends, and people I haven't even met yet are there for me.

So thanks.
You rock.

/end mushfest.

Ok.
I did it.
He's gone.
Deleted.
Done.

Hardest thing I've done in a long time.
I'm scared to death.

And I haven't cried this hard in a long time.
But I don't need that shit in my life.

So I'm going to bed now.

But I will probably need some drinks later.

Bye.