who ever thought that allowing roswell employees to pay for purchases bought at the gift shop by payroll deduction was a good idea, was crazy.
you can apparently purchase $200 worth of stuff and have it withdrawn from your paycheck in 4 payments.

this would not be a problem had they not had a gift shop full of vera bradley bags and accessories. tons and tons of different kinds of bags. all shapes and sizes.

i thought it would be nice if i had a new bag for paris.



and then i saw the matching scarf and thought about how nice it would look with my new purse. i would look like a travel goddess......



but only if i had a matching watch....



and this cute pair of earings.



and $160 dollars later, all i can think about is how cute my travel outfit will look next week when i sit my ass in the cushy, first class seat to paris!!!

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
no one, i hate, hate, when the phone rings. i hate talking on the phone and i rarely answer. you must leave a message first.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
depends, on how much of a hurry i'm in and how hard the wind is blowing.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
i'd prefer to listen, but not to dumb people.

4. Do you take compliments well?
are you kidding? i get nothing but, so i have to!

5. Do you play Sudoku?
never tried, but i suspect i wouldnt have the patience.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
yes, YES! i would probably be the one that would eat my fellow, (dead or alive) humans.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
yes, and i did some awesomely naughty things there! i had my first girl crush, snuck out drinking, and looking for ghosts and graves.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
um, taking the boys behind the buildings and showing them my boobies. and a game i invented called "if you drop the ball, you have to kiss my hooha".

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
would i what? is this a trick question?

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
no, you CANNOT be religious OR spiritual, i have patience for neither.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
hmmm....you have to pursue me, otherwise i'll think youre not interested. there has only been one instance of me pursuing someone and they loose masculinity points because of it.

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
short tempered cynic

15. Do any songs make you cry?
that is why i don't listen to music.

16. Are you continuing your education?
um....yes. those incompletes have to be done by may.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
yes, i've shot a 357 magnum, 9 mm, 12 guage shot gun, 16 guage shot gun, 303 sniper rifle, 2-22 and a 22 rifle.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
a fire extinguisher....duh!

19. How often do you read books?
ok, even tho i'm a librarian, i don't read much at all, b/c i waste all my time on this website. but i do listen to books on my fancy phone. Just finished "Winter Journey" about a mass jewish murder by poles in a small village druing WWII. now i'm listening to eragon.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
i really can't tell any of them apart.

21. What is your favorite children's book?
the snow queen by hans christian andersen. i know, not really a book, but i love all of his stories, and my father used to read them to me before bed. (when he was home, and not drinking our furniture away)

22. What color are your eyes?
eh, i have no eyes, they are windows into the soul. i have no soul.

23. How tall are you?
5'6"

24. Where is your dream house located?
Szklarska Poreba. this is the town i grew up in. this is the street i lived on and walked to preschool every morning.




25. Best vacay ever?
rome, 2001

26. Coolest picture?
none.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
you know what, i like those booths that draw your picture. you guys ever do that one?


28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
mmmm....i like olive garden....i like carrabba's better. it's an upscale O.O.


29. How about the movies?
Pan's Labyrinth with (e:paul), (e:enknot), (e:matthew), (e:terry), and (e:nemo).

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
my basement

32. Do you like mustard?
yes, with horseradish.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
ok, i'm not going to count the last few weeks where i eat in my sleep and i will say i prefer sleep. (i think i'm lying to myself a little...ok, a lot)

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
def like my mom. i need to upload pics of her when she was my age. strangely similar.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
i hate showering. i avoid it like the plague.

36. Can you do a split?
a banana split!


37. What movie do you want to see right now?
oh i love, love movies! children of men, the painted veil.

where is 38?

39. What did you do for New Year's?
um...yeah...i don't want to talk about that night. the pictures are enough.

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
OMG YES!!!! and then a couple of nights later the thing formed in the corner of my bedroom and came down and laid down next to me in my dream. and the goose bumps that i got on that side of my body, woke me right up!

41. Do you laugh a lot?
at people, yes.


42. Do you own a camera phone?
yes, it's the roswell phone.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
my mom was a chemical engineer with a concentration in economics. she did her thesis on beer production in poland.


45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
A

46. how many hours of sleep do you get a night?
8-9-10

47. Do you watch MTV?
god, do i ever! i watch laguna beach, sweet 16, all the made shows, and i watch a lot of vh1, and bravo. i watch entirely too much tv.

48. Do you like care bears?
no....but rainbow bright was the bomb.

49. What do you buy at the movies?
one big container of pop corn and one container of pop. everyone has to share, cuz there are free refills and theyre too expensive to buy individual ones.

that reminds me, when i went to the movies last time with estip people, and we were sharing the tub of popcorn and i went out to get a refill....well....they guy in front of me, buying popcorn and drinks for his family spent $55!!!

50. Do you know how to play poker?
sorta?

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
oh yeah, i was in a car accident in 03' and even with the seatbelt on broke my sternum. it would have been my face had it not been for the seatbelts.

52. What do you wear to sleep?
pajamas. i looove pajamas. that is the best gift anyone could ever buy me. all kinds of pajamas....and sheets too.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
nope

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
again, not counting the last few weeks....2.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
nothing but my ears.

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
i don't even know what those are. i hate, hate, hate myspace.

57. Most visited webpage?
cmon, you serious?

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
serious....but only if theyre smart. but serious people can often appear smart b/c of their seriousness.

59. Ever been to L.A.?
yes, and never again.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
nope.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
korwa jego mac; odwal sie ty huju (sorry no accent marks)

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
steal, but only a little bit, b/c i don't really listen to music.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
ask me if i hate ice cream.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
god, bad question. i live with them, and will probably for a long time. there is NOTHING we DONT fight about. yelling is the primary form of communication in our house.

65. Are you a gullible person?
no way, i am suspicious and distrustful of everything you do.

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
having a boyfriend/girlfriend makes me UNHAPPY.

67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
globe trekker corespondent. i wish....i wish...i wish.... i wish.....

68. Are you easy to get along with?
no, now STOP bothering me! did i tell you that i hate people?

69. What is your favorite time of day?
when i take my medicine....ahhhh......

we went to papaya's a few weeks ago for some truly authentic papayan food. if you've never had authentic papayan food before, you'll be surprised to know that you can only get in on chippewa st. in buffalo in the united states in north america on the western hemisphere. the universe must have hated me and only me that day because it served me salt on my crème brulee instead of sugar.

here is the waiter firing up the brulee, topped with salt.





and this is my entee and jenks'. I would have thought they would have given the dessert for free after making me taste that nasty salty brulee, but those cheap bastards didn't bother. I'm not going there again, especially since I left my wallet there and called once I realized that and asked if they could check around the table and they didn't even bother checking the floor. they did finally call 2 days later saying that it was found on the floor. um....isn't that the first place you look when someone tells you they left their wallet on the table and it isn't there?

I don't think that epidural helped much. everything still hurts. I don't feel like going to work. I just want to sit at home and play zelda. this is a pic faben took of me this morning. this shows how happy I am knowing that I had to drag my ass out of bed today .

ok, so i have a total crush on this chick that works at roswell, and i'm not saying who because:

1. all the roswell people will know who it is

AND

2. all the roswell people who know who she is will make fun of me

AND to top it off, when i saw her today she had 30 Seconds to Mars playing in the cd player and that made her 30X hotter.

i think it's the hormones again, i'm back to NOT being on the pill and i just want to hug and squeeze people and cry.

here is a list of all that i ate today:

two eggo waffles with 2 tables spoons of butter each and two taspoons of sugar on top
a can of bush's baked beans
salad from the salad bar at roswell
ice cream on a stick
hot tea
salad from pano's
shrimp and filet mignion with mashed potatoes from pano's
apple pie with vanilla ice cream from pano's
a glass of resling from pano's
various pills throughout the day

here is what i wanted to eat today:

EVERYTHING IN SIGHT


i will be eating laxatives tomorrow. i feel so gross.

looks like someone is getting a raise!!!! :)

one of my bosses is giving me a $3000 raise, a retroactive one at that, since my start date at roswell.

i am very very happy. this will make for a very nice parisian vacation in a few weeks.

someone please remind me to post the flaming pics from the authentic papayan food we ate a few weeks ago.

p.s. i don't understand why i am not a movie star. i would make such a great actress. i cry on cue, just ask any ex-boyfriend, and can act like a crazy psychopath like i've been one all my life. i want to win an oscar :(

"i could have been a condender. i could have been somebody, instead of a bum--which is what i am"

the travel channel is featuring an entire show on buffalo! i'm watching it right now and it actually makes us look fun and interesting. check it out ya'll!

so i almost got arrested yesterday.

i parked my car by roswell and started walking to my building. i was parked by the biostat's building. I've been parking there for a while now. its the only place where you can park for free, without getting a ticket. i used to park on washington, but that was if'y, most times you'd get away with it, and then the parking police would come around for like 3 days in a row.

so, as i'm walking, i see the parking nazi pull up and start looking at my car. now, if you can recall yesterday morning, i was in a middle of a blizzard. so, i was like, oh shit, and started trekking back so that i could move my car.

i get in my car, start it, and am about to pull off, when the guy, who is pulled up right next to me, but not enough to block my way out, beeps and yells "where do you think you're going?"

i reply, "to work"

and he says, "no you're not". and i was like, oh shit! what? so he tells me to get out of the car. and then he's like, "do you know how much in parking tickets you owe?"

so i knew i owed a little bit, maybe like 200 or 250, but he says close to 700! and i was like holy shit!

he tells me that he is supposed to impound my car and arrest me. and i was like, pleeese don't arrest me officer.

so i'm standing in this blizzard, wrapped in my scarf and he stays in his car and starts lecturing me for about a half hour. he tells me that i have to go downtown and plead something, and tells me all the things i should say to get them to lower the fines. and tells me about how a friend of his had a daughter and she had $1800 in parking tix and they brought it down to $400 and that every cop car now is equipped with this thing (forgot what it was called) that automatically scans your plate when they're driving behind you, and if they scan mine, they WILL arrest me. said, that they're bringing in about 60-80 cars a day because of it.

and so i was standing there, soaking wet, with numb fingers thankful as hell that i wasn't arrested, because i KNOW my mother would let me sit in jail for days if she found out, and would not bail me out for such stupidity. and he asked if i work at roswell and i said yes, and he said, "as far as i'm concerned, anyone that works here is an angel" and because of that he was going to pretend that he didn't see anything. i asked him if he wanted me to move my car and park it in the garage, but he said that since he's the only one that patrols this area, he knew who i was and would not tow my car, but that i had to make sure i went downtown to get this taken care of.

he couldn't believe that my boyfriend or husband let me get this far gone. i thought to myself, i know a few boys that aren't any better.

so, needles to say, i am making a trip downtown, to plead not guilty to some of these tickets and to try to work something out with the parking nazi's because i reeeeely don't want to go to jail.

so my cousins that met us in london last jan. and in china in august, are meeting me in paris next month!

i love the way we can meet half way across the world on a whim. i love my life. i love the travel. i am one lucky mofo.


now i'll get to see all the things i didn't have time for last time. although last time i had a week, whereas this time i'll have 4 days. but faben is pretty stoked, even if she doesn't show it. it's no big deal if you grow up traveling all over the world, but she totally has the travel bug too. that is why i can use it as punishment when she fucks up at school.

i have to work on a way to get more vacation time out of my job. the measly 3 weeks is not enough. i need at least 8. the year has just begun.

Aurevoir Peaches!

just because your mom gave you a dictionary two years ago and you throw as many adjectives as possible into a sentence, does not mean you know how to write, YVONNE!

good writing doesn't come from convoluting the english language into this unbearable garbage that you shit, every day, onto my screen. describing everything you see and hear with those big words you learned for the SAT's, does not constitute a good piece of work. it just means youre trying too hard to appear like you have some talent. trying to sound deep and cerebral just looks plain stupid. you sound like a prison inmate, YVONNE, who spews a lot of words with nothing to say.

interesting people are interesting becuase they show interest in things other than themselves. theyre interesting because theyre educated and experienced and can form opinions and hold discussions about things that require intellect. you, on the other hand, try to find 75 different ways to analyze yourself when there's nothing of interest to analyze!

why do you keep trying so hard? can't you just accept the fact that you really are not as special as you think you are? and can't you see that the really smart people of the world would never, ever, consider you anything more than a wannabe intellectual? and don't forget, you still are a fat heffer, so even the dumb skinny crowd wouldnt want you.

-The REALITY