I don't think that epidural helped much. everything still hurts. I don't feel like going to work. I just want to sit at home and play zelda. this is a pic faben took of me this morning. this shows how happy I am knowing that I had to drag my ass out of bed today .

ok, so i have a total crush on this chick that works at roswell, and i'm not saying who because:

1. all the roswell people will know who it is

AND

2. all the roswell people who know who she is will make fun of me

AND to top it off, when i saw her today she had 30 Seconds to Mars playing in the cd player and that made her 30X hotter.

i think it's the hormones again, i'm back to NOT being on the pill and i just want to hug and squeeze people and cry.

here is a list of all that i ate today:

two eggo waffles with 2 tables spoons of butter each and two taspoons of sugar on top
a can of bush's baked beans
salad from the salad bar at roswell
ice cream on a stick
hot tea
salad from pano's
shrimp and filet mignion with mashed potatoes from pano's
apple pie with vanilla ice cream from pano's
a glass of resling from pano's
various pills throughout the day

here is what i wanted to eat today:

EVERYTHING IN SIGHT


i will be eating laxatives tomorrow. i feel so gross.

looks like someone is getting a raise!!!! :)

one of my bosses is giving me a $3000 raise, a retroactive one at that, since my start date at roswell.

i am very very happy. this will make for a very nice parisian vacation in a few weeks.

someone please remind me to post the flaming pics from the authentic papayan food we ate a few weeks ago.

p.s. i don't understand why i am not a movie star. i would make such a great actress. i cry on cue, just ask any ex-boyfriend, and can act like a crazy psychopath like i've been one all my life. i want to win an oscar :(

"i could have been a condender. i could have been somebody, instead of a bum--which is what i am"

the travel channel is featuring an entire show on buffalo! i'm watching it right now and it actually makes us look fun and interesting. check it out ya'll!

so i almost got arrested yesterday.

i parked my car by roswell and started walking to my building. i was parked by the biostat's building. I've been parking there for a while now. its the only place where you can park for free, without getting a ticket. i used to park on washington, but that was if'y, most times you'd get away with it, and then the parking police would come around for like 3 days in a row.

so, as i'm walking, i see the parking nazi pull up and start looking at my car. now, if you can recall yesterday morning, i was in a middle of a blizzard. so, i was like, oh shit, and started trekking back so that i could move my car.

i get in my car, start it, and am about to pull off, when the guy, who is pulled up right next to me, but not enough to block my way out, beeps and yells "where do you think you're going?"

i reply, "to work"

and he says, "no you're not". and i was like, oh shit! what? so he tells me to get out of the car. and then he's like, "do you know how much in parking tickets you owe?"

so i knew i owed a little bit, maybe like 200 or 250, but he says close to 700! and i was like holy shit!

he tells me that he is supposed to impound my car and arrest me. and i was like, pleeese don't arrest me officer.

so i'm standing in this blizzard, wrapped in my scarf and he stays in his car and starts lecturing me for about a half hour. he tells me that i have to go downtown and plead something, and tells me all the things i should say to get them to lower the fines. and tells me about how a friend of his had a daughter and she had $1800 in parking tix and they brought it down to $400 and that every cop car now is equipped with this thing (forgot what it was called) that automatically scans your plate when they're driving behind you, and if they scan mine, they WILL arrest me. said, that they're bringing in about 60-80 cars a day because of it.

and so i was standing there, soaking wet, with numb fingers thankful as hell that i wasn't arrested, because i KNOW my mother would let me sit in jail for days if she found out, and would not bail me out for such stupidity. and he asked if i work at roswell and i said yes, and he said, "as far as i'm concerned, anyone that works here is an angel" and because of that he was going to pretend that he didn't see anything. i asked him if he wanted me to move my car and park it in the garage, but he said that since he's the only one that patrols this area, he knew who i was and would not tow my car, but that i had to make sure i went downtown to get this taken care of.

he couldn't believe that my boyfriend or husband let me get this far gone. i thought to myself, i know a few boys that aren't any better.

so, needles to say, i am making a trip downtown, to plead not guilty to some of these tickets and to try to work something out with the parking nazi's because i reeeeely don't want to go to jail.

so my cousins that met us in london last jan. and in china in august, are meeting me in paris next month!

i love the way we can meet half way across the world on a whim. i love my life. i love the travel. i am one lucky mofo.


now i'll get to see all the things i didn't have time for last time. although last time i had a week, whereas this time i'll have 4 days. but faben is pretty stoked, even if she doesn't show it. it's no big deal if you grow up traveling all over the world, but she totally has the travel bug too. that is why i can use it as punishment when she fucks up at school.

i have to work on a way to get more vacation time out of my job. the measly 3 weeks is not enough. i need at least 8. the year has just begun.

Aurevoir Peaches!

just because your mom gave you a dictionary two years ago and you throw as many adjectives as possible into a sentence, does not mean you know how to write, YVONNE!

good writing doesn't come from convoluting the english language into this unbearable garbage that you shit, every day, onto my screen. describing everything you see and hear with those big words you learned for the SAT's, does not constitute a good piece of work. it just means youre trying too hard to appear like you have some talent. trying to sound deep and cerebral just looks plain stupid. you sound like a prison inmate, YVONNE, who spews a lot of words with nothing to say.

interesting people are interesting becuase they show interest in things other than themselves. theyre interesting because theyre educated and experienced and can form opinions and hold discussions about things that require intellect. you, on the other hand, try to find 75 different ways to analyze yourself when there's nothing of interest to analyze!

why do you keep trying so hard? can't you just accept the fact that you really are not as special as you think you are? and can't you see that the really smart people of the world would never, ever, consider you anything more than a wannabe intellectual? and don't forget, you still are a fat heffer, so even the dumb skinny crowd wouldnt want you.

-The REALITY

but i'm still suffering from the damn headache. it hurt all night long. i hope you guys had a better time than i did.


Happy Birthday, Paul!

so, you think that by writing these deinspirations, youre being some kind of rebel? you think youre somehow unique and different and special? here's a news flash, YVONNE, youre ordinary and boring. youre about as unique as everybody else. this little protest does not make you appear smart or witty, nor clever. going against the grain is not a passport to coolness.

remember, standing on the other side of the tracks doesn't mean youre exotic, it just means that you have to watch your fat ass so that it doesn't get plowed by the train. youre still a lameo, accept it.

-The REALITY


on a serious note--i'm still at work. been here 11 hours. im so tired and i have a headache. i don't know if i'll make it to the party. :(

saying youre big boned or that it's in your genes, or you're just thick and not fat, is a complete lie, YVONNE. in actuality youre fat AND lazy AND most likely a slob.

-The REALITY