i had the strangest dream last night.

dreamt about a three dimensional model of the probability of an event happening, if that makes any sense what so ever. it made sense in my head at the time.

in the dream i had this vision that every event in someone's life is suspended in a vacuum on an axis. the event then (in a three dimensional model) spirals from the bottom to the top of the axis where the whole length of the event is divided by half of the whole, infinitely and the lenght of the axis is the lenght of the event. and the further out one goes on the spiral the less probability there is that the event happened or that it was done by or happened to you. and so your entire life consist of these spirals perched on these axis'(or axi?) connected by their infinite (but visibly concrete) probability of happening or not. and existence was a big convoluted blob of 3-D spiral mounds of nothingness.

i'm not kidding, this really made a whole lot of sense last night and it was a lot easier to understand when i didn't have to use words to describe it.

there are so many movies out there that i want to see. maybe today i'll make a day of it. here is a list. I have to prepare myself for the oscars. What good is it watching the show if you have not seen the movies, granted, some of theser are not oscar material.

Children of Men
The Pursuit of Happyness
Dreamgirls (because Beyonce's body is dreamy)
Night at the Museum
Stomp the Yard (i was in the drill team in high school)
The Painted Veil (Edward Norton is my dream man)
Volver
Perfume
Babel
Blood Diamond (because Leonardo is dream man #2)
Bobby
Borat
The Queen (because although i'm not british, i do loooove the queen, i wish we had one)
Chrlotte's Web (who doesn't love this story)
the two Clint Eastwood movies (because theyre going to be nominated for a bunch of stuff, even though i don't like war movies)
Miss Potter (because it looks so damn cute)
Pan's Labyrinth (because it looks so damn cool)
Notes on a Scandal (because an adult and a 13 year old love story can't ever go wrong)

this is what I'm doing at work. I am going to have the most banging database known to man!

yes dogs can definitely get addicted. they had a piece on NPR about a dog who was addicted to frogs. she would catch poisonous frogs and suck on them until they had no poison left in them. i guess the frogs had hallucinogenic/euphoric effects. it got so bad at one point that the only thing the dog ever wanted to do, from the time she woke up to the time she went to bed, was to suck frogs. she would run into the back yard any chance she got and if someone was not there to let her out, she would sit by the back door and cry. once she did get out, she would bonkers until she actually found a frog. since the frogs were only around in the summer, the dog went through withdrawal every winter, but started right back up when the weather got warm. they tried everything to get her to stop but she would just find a way to get into the backyard, regardless. eventually, after a few years, for whatever reason, the dog calmed down, and no longer went bonkers for the frogs. she settled down and only sucked a few frogs a season.

kind of what happens to us as we get older, huh? we can't go on sucking frogs forever.

I don't think this is something we need to be rewarding our kids for.

happy fucking new year bitches! hope you get as much ass in 2007 as you did in 2006! you dirty fuckers!

this is my little parasitic friend that has taken up residence on my torso for well over a year.




when I went for my yearly gyno visit, my gyn exclaimed ''oh, a fungus!'' and I said ''oh...that...yes, yes, I know. I forgot to tell you.''

so he gave me a cream to put on it which he said, would kill the fungus, but i'd have to make sure I put it on religiously for weeks because, he said, it's been growing for so long, it might be tough to get rid of.

I haven't even gotten the persciption filled yet, and it's been months.

I don't want to kill it. it's become my little experiment. my personal pet project of symbiotic existence.

so, as a warm tribute to my constant and loyal friend, i'd like to say...

my little ring worm..... we've been through a lot this past year. i'm so glad i've got you each and every single time I glance down my shirt. I could have made it without you. here's to another damp and humid year!

I got this super awesome gift that will surely be put to use today.

an official chocolate fountain!




and then 4 pounds of chocolate to go with it.




and this is the mess that remains.

those damn bastards must be runnig late by the time they get to our house cuz for two days in a row now they've left a ''sorry we missed you'' stickie on our door when we were clearly at home. wtf, I understand once, but twice? but I guess it's not really a bad thing since the package is coins that are automaticaly sent from some coin collection company that my stepfather always orders from and my mom bitches at him for doing so. last time she didn't find out until she got the bill for 2000 dollars. oh he was in the shit house then and he was strictly forbidden from buying anything without her approval first. he thinks that its this huge investment, she'd rather invest the money in real investments.

thank god I'm back at my house where my mother's stingyness makes it comfortable to sleep. she turns down the heat to 60 degrees every night and I grown used to sleeping in a cool climate. last night I slept somewhere else and it was so fucking hot that I felt like I was going to explode. it stuffs me up and I can't breathe and it makes me feel all swolen and tired and not rested. I hate hate hate sleeping in a hot room, especially if its in the winter time with artificial heat.

the last wo days at work have been completely unproductive. both days I went for long lunches, came in late and left really early. work can wait. I have things that need to get done.

oh how I wish I could be back in london like I was last year at this time, remember peeps? I don't know where last year's london entry is but the pics are still up on shutterfly. the weather we're having now is the kind that london had both times I went, but sunnier. I will die if I don't get to move to europe. I mean it. I will shrivel up and wither soon. I feel such a pull there that I will absolutely do everything in my power to end up there one way or another. maybe I can do research there. sure I can. I just need to learn another language, ASAP! french or german. what are the official languages of the united nations?

I'm not getting any younger and the years are ticking away. I have four years until my daughter goes to college and then she better go somewhere but here because I am outie! she can come with and study there, but the plan is that I will leave as soon as she is out of high school. funny thing is, she wants to live abroad too. I guess all the traveling has put a bug in her ear too.

ok, my thumbs are hurting from typing on this phone. I must help with the cooking and getting the holiday stuff done.

czesc!

oh and one more thing, I upgraded my netflix membership on wednesday to the 8 movie option so that we'd have stuff to watch for the break. just till the end of the month. so now I have 6 movies at the house and 2 more on the way including the new pirates of the carribean and little miss sunshine.