I decided as I do all the time that I need to change. This is good cause when i don't want to change I know I am not feeling inspired. I have decided that I am not a very interesting person.

A)I never pay attention to what is going on around me

B)I never know what is going on in the world
---can someone just tell me daily what is going on in the news so i don't have to go searching for it? Its all just too much effort.

C) I am not very smart, and at this point its too much effort to catch up on what everyone else knows so I think i should just give up now
---but i am not going to, but I need to actually start doing stuff like learning spanish, the countries of the world, reading my magazines,studying for the GRE's (which i am nervous about now that Maureen is already studying for them)

D) Am I EVER going to get better at the guitar? Gosh i actually need to start practicing.



Its just a matter of finding time and daily inspiration to do all of this. Any suggestions?

I don't think I ever talked about the summer research I am doing? Its on resiliency and how people bounce back to stressful life events. I think its a really important topic to people's lives. We are so afraid of failure and things going on in life that we loose faith in ourselves to keep going after sometime bad happens. I think its partially because we don't have a very supportive society. There are very supportive people but I think our society as a whole just does not look out for each other or take others into consideration. I am really curious as to people's thoughts on resiliency and if people think of themeself as resilient? Or if people see good things that come out of bad situation, etc? If people are interested in this topic I would be really interested to see what you guys think. I am not using it for my research I was just wondering in general what you guys think. Thanks!

So today (actually 7/5/04) was Justin's birthday, but I forgot. I just happened to ask him when his birthday was and he said 12 minutes ago. So strange that I even though to ask him. So I think I will send him an e-mail and a present in the mail with a card.

I shopped all day for a bathing suit and I think I may have settled for one. But does anyone have suggestions for a place to find a nice 2 piece that covers a lot bathing suit? My one that i got was like $40.

Oh...I didn't realize that I had posted all the thank you's to Jill. Apparently I still don't completely understand how this whole thing works?-hahaha.

I tried to make you a sketch but everytime i did it didn't come out. But thank you so much for cheering me up-you are the sweetest! Thanks for being such a great friend.

I forgot to mention in the last entry what gentlemen the Polish boys were. They would never walk in front of the ladies or let a lady hold open the door for them. They were so sweet! Although I am generally not one for men to act like that ( I don't think ) it just seemed really genuine and adorable coming from a boy with an accent. I think we may all go out for the 4th-I am not really sure? They should most definitely have a real American 4th of July though. All I can say is I hope there is dancing because they were the most adorable dancers-so much fun.

Oh and i haven't gone to the gym Thurs or Fri because of the late nite or early mornings that i had to get up :-( I need to loose weight before my big trip to Florida which I would like announce if I didn't already that Mike and I are offically going! Yeah I have the tickets!!!

Other than that it sucks that i have to work all weekend-this lovely holiday weekend. But I do have a lot of time off next week which should be cool-maybe i will go somewhere?

I have to say that tonight was a great night. I did feel like such a pimp with all of my Polish boys that I took out. I felt like the motherhen looking after them to make sure they were all okay. It is kind of neat to have a posse. Okay who am I kidding-I am flattering myself but i would like to live in this moment just for a second-hahaha. They were so funny and cool to hang out with even if I couldn't understand them a good percentage of the time. Props to my mom for setting me up-yeah!

So Jesse-I would like to hear what you have to say about the whole "relationship" thing....would you? I would be interested. Oh good luck with the self pleasure-you are a very stubborn person and I think you can do it. But now what I want to know is how often the self pleasuring generally occurs for each of you guys?-Cause that will give a good idea of who will go out first.

Stickboy...I mean boy...or guy...I am sorry that I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight I meant to go over and say hello. Also, I wanted to tell you about that girl-EXCELLENT move. That was great, it will only make her want you more. Smart thinking. And please tell your buddy incase he doesn't get a chance to read this that I wanted to talk to him more-but I was starving and had to eat something. I am sad that we didn't get to chat more :-(

Mike, you are too funny! You know it will always be the three of us. Sometimes I need to go out, but I think really that is it. So you will always have me whether you like it or NOT!

Jill-WEIRD NITE...we have to talk...how strange things turn out??? Just so you know I am the "settled for" friend.

Alright well its about 5am and I have to finish entering some data before I have to get up at 7am to meet with my professor..yea that should be a blast on about 1 hour of sleep!

Take care all...hope everyone had such a great nite.

I don't know why really but I just feel a little down lately? So while I was already feeling down, I was taking pictures in my room to try to cheer myself up by getting interested in a project. I took a picture of my fish tank and I am zooming in on it after I take the picture and I am wondering what this thing is in the picture. I look up at my fish tank and my frog is dead. I have had my frog since i first got the tank about a year and a half ago-he was the last surviver of the original fish tank. I was so sad that I was crying and went downstairs to my parents and sat on their laps. WHen am i ever going to grow up?-i really don't think i am ever going to be able to move out of my house.

I did nothing for the fourth. In fact I didn't even watch fireworks. I was taking a bath at the time trying to figure out why I am so sad? I don't wish i had done something I just wish I felt more in the spirit!!