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Category: relationships

08/26/05 01:29 - 82ºF - ID#36599

The three faces of STEve

I've responded to exactly three craigslists posts in the past three weeks (has it only been that long?) resulting in the three Steves (as I like to call them). I don't know if Steve #1 will figure as prominently in my future as it once looked when our credit scores came up a perfect match and we took the plunge and made an offer on that 3-unit Victorian. I am still heartbroken it didn't work out, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

Just to reiterate I am not the only nut case attempting to buy [inlink]twisted,250[/inlink] property with a complete stranger, the Chronicle recently ran a front page story about the trend. Of course, I upped the ante by also proposing we be roommates. (I like to think of it as pioneering a new craigslist category!) Although, I have to say the scheme sounded MUCH sketchier when I suddenly found myself explaining it to Steve's mom. (How did that happen?) Well, you'll be happy to know I got Mom's seal of approval. I did have quite the reality-shock moment when I heard her say "well, this place needs a lot of work, but you kids are young!" OMG. Talk about seeing your future life pass before your eyes! Maybe it's just as well we didn't get that one. Although we are still looking at places together and hashing out a TIC agreement, just in case.

All that housing drama put me in dire need of some distraction. I guess it's been a slow month for music, since even Larry didn't have anything lined up until the Lovemakers last night, yet we already have seven gigs on tap for September. Anyway, this dry spell was killing me, so I turned to craigslist.

I already gave you a preview of [inlink]twisted,254[/inlink] Steve #2. In hindsight, it was a bad idea to blindly (or in this case, deafly) take his recommendation for a first musical date. I guess I've been spoiled with Larry and "E" knowing and liking what I like. But I figured a distraction is a distraction and I' didn't want to let too much time go by from initial email exchange to first contact so I picked the first time I was free. Let's just say I won't do that again. Nevertheless, Steve #2 (hereinafter referred to as "Stevil" from his college radio DJ moniker) seems like a really nice guy and is pretty damn cute to boot. A quick review of recently seen shows indicates there is plenty of common ground. I'll just have to be vigilant about screening from now on. Also, he's a DJ at the station where "E" usually wins tix. So it's like cutting out the middleman! (Ha! Just kidding!) In any case, a cheap date is definitely high on my list since Larry seems hellbent on blowing my music wad each month.

Oh god. Is this post over yet? Almost.

Since it's never a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket, at least in craigsland, I responded to one other post. Maybe because Stevil was so very cooperative, I was immediately put off by this guy's curt reply insisting on stats and asking if I "read and fit" his posting. WTF? Ok, to be fair, I admit I was testing the waters to see if he might be negotiable on his age requirement. It pisses me off when a guy puts the upper age limit for his date at 5 years younger than he claims he is himself. That's an immediate red flag the guy is either delusional about his age, or looking for a LTR with kids as part of that picture. Which is why I explicitly stated that was not for me in my initial response.

Anyway, the whole thing irked me enough that I sent this reply:

"Well, it was a nice thought. Like most guys on CL, you'll go out with someone half a decade younger, but not half a decade older, even though I might be more likely to get carded than you. That's why I ask the procreation question. It's really the only legitimate reason for that in my book."

His reply:

"Actually I put the age thing in the post because I thought that women my age would be judgemental about what could be viewed as a case of arrested development rather than youthful outlook.

If you want to meet for a drink in Alameda or Oakland then by all means"
with his phone number and how long he'll be in email range before leaving work.

And then another email with the clincher:

"Actually I adjusted my age down since I look young. I'm really (3 years older than he said)."

Ok, now I'm REALLY irked. I send a reply I'm really not proud of right now but it felt good at the time.

Next morning the whole thing is still weighing on my mind, so for some reason I decide to write to him again, owning up for taking out my age discrimination frustrations on him, while reiterating once AGAIN if everybody lied about their age next thing you know there's anarchy in the streets.

He immediately shoots back an email with a bunch of stuff about himself. I'm feeling relieved we cleared the air and when I get to the part where he tells me his name is Esteban I think, "at least it's not another Steve" as the realization slowly sinks in that all the Steves in my high school Spanish class were called "Esteban." D'oh!

Anyway, after at least 10 email volleys, a solid hour and a half chat, several pics and one cellphone karaoke ringtone (his side business) exchanged, we have a date set up.

Ok, I'm going to spare you some details here and cut to the chase. Date day comes, and he sends this email:

"I wanted to let you know I won't be going tonight & I wanted to save you time on a meeting.

I recall reading the posts of yours you mentioned & I must not have fit the criteria as I didn't reply so we're likely not a match.

Good luck out there,
- E."

Ok, WTF just happened? Cold feet? Harsh light of day? Pre-emptive rejection? Snooze time on the biological alarm clock up? Guess I'll never know. I've never specified any "requirements" in my three lone w4m posts, so that's bullsh!t. Frustrating, but probably just as well since I already have one "E" in my life and now I'm not sure how many "Steves."

So I had to go see The New Pornographers' free show at Amoeba records on my own, which is what I would have done in any case. Like I really need an excuse to go to Amoeba anyway.

Oh, speaking of "E," the original managed to resurface again this week. It's about time! If he would just cooperate, I wouldn't have to go through this mess!

This post is officially over.

UPDATE: Apparently August was not a "slow month" for the [inlink]twisted,222[/inlink] attractive brunette. That's it! I'm thinking an "E" for an "E"...

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Permalink: The_three_faces_of_STEve.html
Words: 1229
Location: San Francisco, CA

08/25/05 12:29 - 63ºF - ID#36598

Conspiracy theories

I'm not sure where to start defending myself. Oh, here's one:

(Posted behind the scenes by moi on 02/16/05 07:25am PST:)

"Also, don't forget about the gmail bug. Here's the actual gmail source of the last bit of the confirmation link:



I rest my case.

The ONLY reason I have a freakin' gmail account in the first place is to test estrip sign-up! It's not my fault my friend Zim who works for Bloomberg/London "just managed to install google talk on my machine here at work -- a minor miracle, given the restrictions our IT dept. put on our machines. if you happen to be testing it out, or using a chat program that supports the chat protocol Jabber, try me."

I give and I give and what do I get in return? Well, that's another story.

p.s. - It's been a weird week.

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Permalink: Conspiracy_theories.html
Words: 161
Location: San Francisco, CA

08/22/05 11:52 - 65ºF - ID#36597

Daily Affirmation for Houses

I really wasn't sure how to take it when I came home and found this sign added to my house:

Oh sure, maybe it's true. But if you have to announce it to the world, that just reeks of desperation. I'm so sorry my little house has to suffer this indignity.

In my realtor-to-plain-English dictionary that translates to "so don't go by this hideous exterior!" Of course, we all know what a cynic I am. My poor house isn't that bad! And it certainly isn't it's fault, just because I inadvertently killed the passion vine framing the front porch in that unfortunate pruning mishap of '04, and other than a few hardy souls most of my garden did not survive 2 weeks without water when I went on that sailing trip. It's not like we even get any measurable rainfall here between June and October, so I guess I should have seen that coming.

I'm sorry house! I'm sure in the right hands you could once again be beautiful outside as well as inside. Please, somebody take it off my hands. I need the gritty city life.

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Permalink: Daily_Affirmation_for_Houses.html
Words: 198
Location: San Francisco, CA

Category: fucking telemarkers

08/19/05 10:39 - 75ºF - ID#36596

Twice in one week

"May I speak to a male head of household?"

"Nope. Good bye."

What is this, the freakin' 50s?

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Permalink: Twice_in_one_week.html
Words: 18
Location: San Francisco, CA

08/19/05 04:36 - 84ºF - ID#36595

Another Steve

All those county fair [inlink]matthew,603[/inlink] pics inspired me to change my userpic. That's all for now.

Oh crap, of course that's not all! I can't stop thinking about [inlink]twisted,253[/inlink] it! I'm sorry but I've gotta go through the winning equation one more time for my own sanity. Hey, if I hadn't scrounged up the $7,200 down payment for my first [inlink]twisted,217[/inlink] house, I'd still be living in Boston spending $1400/month in rent. That's $1400 x 12=$16,800/year x however many years since I took that leap would = a bunch of money down the toilet. Instead here I am. Just something to remember.


The TIC-expert friend of my neighbor really called it. I told him about Steve's and my plan and he said our competition would be groups of 3 partners, each willing and able to pay $600k. Damn, he was right. That's exactly what the winning bid works out to. Exhorbitant as that price might sound, it's still the best deal going for a 3BR Edwardian flat in a great neighborhood, not to mention the rounded bays, two fireplaces, wood floors, Victorian detailing...

Ok, despite my apparent success impersonating a real estate mogul (I still can't freakin' believe Denise pre-approved us for that much $$$ even without my house sold), $600k is too rich for my blood. Although, my little 2+BR bungalow is expected to bring close to that. (I know - that's even crazier. But "entry-level" single-family residences are rare in the Bay area and Alameda's one of the few places that's got 'em.) So, you could rationalize it would be an almost-equal exchange. But it doesn't work like that, because of the stepped-up property taxes. (I really don't want to explain it and I KNOW you don't want to hear it. Speaking of which, any of you who haven't already turned on the California filter, be forwarned my posts for the next month or so are going to be a lot like this one. I'm sorry, but it is my journal after all. You might want to skip me until I get this move thing sorted out, then I should be back to normal. Whatever that means.)

In other news, and getting back to my title, have you ever gone through a period in your life where it seems every new significant person has the same name? It's freaking me out, man! Ok, I really don't know if this guy's going to be significant or not yet, but clearly the cosmos is trying to insert a Steve into my life.

The "precipitating event" leading to this development - besides the obvious need for a distraction from all this real estate drama - was getting a glimpse into the online dating scene in order to give a friend some feedback. One look into that world drove me right back to craigslist m4w. Sure, a LTR would be great, and if I could combine all my Steves into one SuperSteve that would be oh so convenient. But in the meantime, all I can really deal with is adding one more regular Steve to the mix. (To take up the slack I'm sensing from "E" if you must know. Which may or may not mean anything, but in the NSA world I don't get to ask that now do I.) On the bright side, if one of the Steves ever jumps the ladder I'm less likely to get his name wrong at a crucial moment. ;-)

This post is already too long to go into details, so here's a timeline instead:

8/18 6:31pm
SWM Music Lover - 39 (USF / panhandle) -
Yada yada. "I go to a lot of live shows. Do you like live music?" Yada yada.

8/18 7:50pm
My response-
Yada yada. "Yep." Yada yada.

8/18 11:01pm
His reply-
Here are some of the bands I'm thinking about seeing in the near future:

08/23/05 – Name removed – Hemlock Tavern
08/25/05 – Knock Out Pills – The Parkside
08/26/05 – Flying Luttenbachers, TITS – Hemlock
08/26/05 – Particle, Gabby La La – GAMH
09/08/05 – The Planet The – Hemlock
09/12/05 – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – GAMH
09/14/05 – Spider Compass Good Crime Band – Hemlock
09/23/05 – Experimental Dental School – Make-Out Room
09/24/05 – Dengue Fever – Hemlock
09/24/05 – Xiu Xiu, Yellow Swans, Okay – BOTH
10/08/05 – English Beat – Red Devil Lounge

8/19 10:16am
My response-

So we're going to see Name removed at the Hemlock Tuesday. Easiest damn personals transaction since "E" belatedly responded to my Mission of Burma [inlink]twisted,169[/inlink] ad way back when. That reminds me, I'll just have to see how big this guy's entourage is. I really don't feel like fighting my way up to first string again.


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Permalink: Another_Steve.html
Words: 750
Location: San Francisco, CA

Category: real estate

08/18/05 05:31 - 80ºF - ID#36594

Email to my mortgage broker

Hi Denise. I don't know how quickly the word is getting around, but the
property at 23rd Street received a whopping 41 offers, with the winning
bid in the $1.8M range. So if Steve and I each shacked up with a partner
and ransomed our firstborns do you think we can swing it? (Just kidding!)

$1.8M. Yeah right! That's roughly twice the asking price. Even I'm not that delusional!

Back to the real estate listings.

p.s. - Did I mention that the latest strategy had been for me & Steve to move into the top floor flat together and find another partner to buy the middle flat (thereby dividing the cost by 3) while we collected $2000/mo rent from the bottom flat to go toward our share? I thought that was a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself. Not quite enough in the end, though.

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Permalink: Email_to_my_mortgage_broker.html
Words: 148
Location: San Francisco, CA

Category: real estate

08/16/05 09:22 - ID#36593 pmobl

high finance snack food

Please pass the wine.
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Permalink: high_finance_snack_food.html
Words: 5
Location: San Francisco, CA

08/18/05 04:32 - 67ºF - ID#36592


I transferred custody of Mark to his brother last night, so I'm back to making and eating breakfast on my own. It's quite a contrast. One lasting improvement for me is now I know when I'm treating myself to "shirred" eggs (Mark's term) which sounds so much fancier than "scrambled in the pan" eggs (my old term). While Mark was here, I bent one of my core tenets of solo cooking and scrambled our eggs in a separate bowl before cooking. Then one day he asked if I ever made "shirred eggs." I didn't know. (Am I the only female on the planet out-femmed by her ex-boyfriend?) So he described the cooking methodology and lo and behold that's what I usually do just for myself. Who knew I was so fancy-schmancy? So, I'd been making special considerations while he was here, he observed. Oh, you have no idea the special considerations I'd been making on his account! Like what? Like, I don't usually eat at the table. So, you usually eat over the sink? No!!! I wasn't raised by wolves! I usually eat at the computer like any civilized person. I like to call it multitasking.

Damn this yin/yang role reversal! I won't even go into our breakfast table conversation about strategies for eliminating tea spout drips. I suppose if I'd been leading the conversation it would have gravitated to my looming real estate transactions. So just as well I wasn't.

Speaking of which, my intended Tenancy in Common (WIKIPEDIA - Tenancy_in_common)partner and I are scheduled to sit down with our respective realtors to write up our offer this afternoon. Offers are due on my place tomorrow at noon, and on the 3-unit in SF tomorrow at 5PM. Barring any last-minute surprises, cold feet, or objections from persons present, looks like we'll be throwing our lot in together, at least on this one. We probably won't know whether our offer is the winning bid before Friday. I still think it's a longshot, but you never know.

I'd better double-check those numbers again. Ay yi yi. Speak now or forever hold your peace.

p.s. - holy crap! My mortgage guy just asked me if I saw the front page of the today's Chronicle:

Breaking barriers in S.F.'s housing market
Marin bank first to lend to individual owners in TICs

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Permalink: multitasking.html
Words: 408
Location: San Francisco, CA

Category: real estate

08/14/05 07:13 - 76ºF - ID#36591

If 99 Californians jumped off a cliff...

(I thought that might get your attention.)

So, I put my house up for sale last week after I found a gorgeous 3-unit Victorian in a great neighborhood in SF. The catch is, the 3-unit building is so "reasonably" priced it's sure to get multiple bids way over the asking price. In other words, their ploy worked. Once you're hooked, the next thing you know you're making rationalizations like "this is like buying three houses in one, each with 3 bedrooms, double parlour, 2 fireplaces, rounded bays, ornate trim..."

Come on (e:peeps)! Doesn't anybody want to go in on this one with me?

So, why not just buy a single family home, you ask? Same reason you can't buy one in Manhattan. Here the footprint where everybody wants to live is bounded by the Ocean and the Bay. Thankfully in San Francisco that just means most buildings are 2-4 unit Victorians, not the more modern skyscrapers common in Manhattan. Sure, there's the occasional multi-million dollar mansion. But that is sadly out of my price range.

The other alternative, condos, are expensive for a variety of complicated reasons. So the best value (just trust me on this) is to buy a building either alone, or with partners for each unit, and go through the lengthy condo conversion process yourself.

Since I can't wait around for a few dozen more of you (e:peeps) to move out here to start an (e:commune), I turned to the usual resource for any deficiency in the Bay area: craigslist.

Oh crap. Somebody's coming to see my house now and I still have to make guacamole for the monthly pot-luck BBQ this afternoon. Much as I would like to skip this party, I've got a lot of explaining to do to all my friends who are royally p!ssed that I'm making life decisions without consulting them first. At least I'll get plenty of chances to fine-tune my story before my weekly phone call with Dad tomorrow. Oh boy.

To be continued...

Wow. That went amazingly well. I didn't get to explain all the details, but most everybody is onboard with the gist of my plan. It's just weird that the more I convince everybody else the less convinced I become myself. I hope I haven't outsmarted myself this time.

p.s. - the first reaction across the board has been to fix me up with the guy I'm partnering with. I just met the guy on Thursday! I'm not that crazy!

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Permalink: If_99_Californians_jumped_off_a_cliff_.html
Words: 428
Location: San Francisco, CA

Category: work

08/13/05 02:36 - 83ºF - ID#36590

biz cards

I was cleaning out some of my old crap and happened upon a bunch of my old business cards. I forgot everyone in the design group had cards made up for our alternate identities. Ha!


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Permalink: biz_cards.html
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Location: San Francisco, CA



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I'm so glad you made it safely!...

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