Category: parents
10/15/07 11:40 - 51ºF - ID#41659
Mom Talk
first she asked if i had had any more beers with the presbyterian minister...i said no but that we had been talking a bit about homosexuality and the church...and she started talking about how it might actually split the church....
and then she brought up how when she was in oklahoma (where she and I and my older brother were born and were her/my uber christian family still lives) she felt like my homosexuality was "the pink elephant in the room". they would ask if i had a boyfriend and she would reply..."well, no boyfriends". i think maybe she might understand a little more why I was so hesitant to tell her in the first place...its amazing to see your parents grow.
we also talked about how my little brother, who still lives at home at the age of 19, and spends all his money on "poker and pot". i told her i would rather him be buying pot than alcohol...she of course said she'd rather him buy neither, but holy shit...sometimes i have a twinge of guilt because I feel like we (my older brother and I) have taken down her ability to resist...she just lets it go now....maybe this is good, maybe not, I don't know.
I also talked to my dad a little while...he had just returned from grandparents house and it seems my grandmother is losing her memory...asking about me and my older brother, wondering what it is that we are doing when she "should" know that I am in school and he is in Seattle...its weird...my grandfather was really sick a while ago, first mentally then physically, but now he is on some good medication and now my grandmother is the one who needs help. I feel way guilty about not seeing them as often as I should...both of my mom's parents are dead...they lived in OKlahoma so I rarely saw them...and my dad's parents live across town and I rarely see them still....meh.
So yeah...I guess what all this boils down to is that I am absolutely blessed with my parents...I don't think I could have ever imagined having such an open, honest relatioship with them... I guess this is one of those growing up kinda things, although I certainly know that not everyone has what I have and I am grateful.
Permalink: Mom_Talk.html
Words: 436
Location: Buffalo, NY
10/13/07 01:03 - 54ºF - ID#41627
Bleh
In other extremely exciting news, my cat's anal glands leak. Its lovely, really.
Permalink: Bleh.html
Words: 55
Location: Buffalo, NY
10/11/07 11:45 - 51ºF - ID#41597
The Knee Rock
Moving on to my favorite subject...Feminism.
I just finished reading Profit and Pleasure by Rosemay Hennessy which is basically a book connecting the effects of late capitalism to the promotion of different sexual identities. She talks a lot about how lesbians and gay men are becoming "chic" and how this is allowed and even encouraged in late capitalism because it is a marketing niche that is profitable. Furthermore, because gender roles are becoming less segragated in the fact that women are working outside of the house much more lately, this creates an environment where gender and sexual deviance is permitted by what she calls the ruling bloc. Basically her argument is that we cannot dismiss capitalism in favor of culture because capitalism is equally if not more so involved in shaping and creating various idenitites, including sexual orientation, and that the new identity politics which are extremely prevelant in queer ciricles and academic theory often does just that. Fascinating.
I would also like to take a moment to talk about the noose that was found on an African American female professor's door at Columbia University on Tuesday. Of course they have the president or provost of Columbia talking, who is a white male, and then they had a white student talking and then later they had light skinned black woman student talking... I didn't watch CNN much that day, but that is what I saw. I couldn't help wondering where the black students where in all this. And I couldn't help wondering about allllllll the hate crimes that are committed against black people that go unreported. This happened at a high profile university to a distinguished professor. Not to say that it is any less offensive, but I can't help but wonder why we get to see hate crimes against educated, middle to upper class blacks when we certainly wouldn't hear about many other instances that certainly occur on a daily basis and are indeed perhaps much more violent than this one. It seems to me that by covering only high profile hate crimes against, for lack of a better word, "good" blacks, and not showing these other types of hate crimes, the media creates and perpetuates the invisibility of racially motivated hate crimes against "bad" blacks. Making sense? What systems are at work here? Who benefits and bares the burden of visibility and invisibility? Just a thought.....
Permalink: The_Knee_Rock.html
Words: 488
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: family
10/08/07 11:17 - 74ºF - ID#41549
Late Night
So my little brother who is not so little anymore, called me and we chatted about stuff. It was actually really nice, like he was calling for advice almost. Talking about his girlfriend that he is falling for and how her Dad might kill him. She is 16 and he is 19 so there could be some trouble. We talked about how weird it is that I am in Grad school and we even talking about taking a plan to Seattle next summer to visit my older brother.
He usually doesn't open up like this. He won't give very much as to his personal shit...but I felt honored that I was the one he talked to last night. And before he hung hung up he told me he loved me... first even!
Awwwww.
Permalink: Late_Night.html
Words: 225
Location: Buffalo, NY
10/05/07 11:12 - 70ºF - ID#41503
Day 2
Sooooo, I really really really like Halloween and want desperatly to go to the Haunted Catacombs thingy
and I wanna know if anyone has been and if it is indeed worth the $20 bucks it costs to enter. Looks good on the internet :) I am assuming it is, but I always enjoy the comments of those who have gone before me.
Today is read read read, write paper, clean apt, hang out with my cats kinda day. I am so cool.
Permalink: Day_2.html
Words: 115
Location: Buffalo, NY
10/04/07 11:08 - 65ºF - ID#41490
Ouch
I had a lot of fun dancing and playing with the big ball thingy. Not surprisingly, my body pretty much gave out on me after 10 or so reps of one excercise or another. I am in terrible shape and honestly, it is embarrasing. I may be thin but that don't mean shit. My body is mush and it's about time I do something about it.
I am looking forward to being able to dance for more than 5 minutes straight without needing to stop and breathe. I am looking forward to knowing that I can RUN if I need to. I am looking forward to being a little stronger than your typical girl. I am also looking forward to just having so some fun.
Today it will be interesting to find out if I can hold my arms up long enough to wash all the shampoo out of my hair.
Permalink: Ouch.html
Words: 223
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: cnn
10/02/07 11:46 - 60ºF - ID#41449
Wow
anyways...today is gross. I like waking up to sounds of rain pouring, but I don't like grey skys. Yesterday the moon was out at noon... very beautiful and incognito against the blue and white sky. There is nothing better than summer like days in October.
Do I have anything to say...?
Oh yes, lately I have been watching..dum dum dum, the news. And by the news I mean CNN. I have been noticing this sick tendancy for them to talk about the same shit over and over and over again. And ok, I understand the need to "follow up" on cases. There is always more to be said, but I question who/what decides what these major cases will be.
Although I do like CNN's "Keeping Them Honest" thing...I heard that an "illegal alien" spent years saving money washing dishes and then went to the airport with his savings and it was SEIZED by the gov't. Gross. Are you kidding? And they of course tried to call all these people to get answers as to why and nada, zilch, zero.
And Dr. Sanjay Gupta (sp?) did this great story about food and actually talked about how it affects African Americans and poor people greater than it does white middle class folks...
I should be reading.
Permalink: Wow.html
Words: 224
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: buffalo
09/30/07 11:45 - 66ºF - ID#41418
BreakDanceWhat
This was perhaps one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There is something so magnetic, inspiring, sensual about dance and something even more specific about this kind of dance. to see a group of men (yes there were 3 girls of the perhaps 30 or so men) gathered around eachother, sharing how to's, friendly hugs, no sense of unbridled testertone at all...and the competition was nothing other than a way to organize the thing, rather than an excuse to pit people against eachother. They always gave each other hugs or props or both before and after each battle and it was clear that for the most part it was genuine.
And when these men dance, holy shit do they dance! I have seen this kind of thing online, on TV, but to see it in person...to see these skinny little boys do these crazy things was...well...unreal. And perhaps the biggest part of it all was how small and warm it felt. It was not some performance with them onstage and us far far away in rows of seets. We were up close, personal, some close enough to be hit in the head with flying windmill legs if they weren't careful. You could see the sweat, the deep breaths, the facial expressions on each and every one.
OK...obviously I was taken by this whole thing. I can't wait to go next month and I will be sure to remind all your asses about it when the time comes because I think everyone should see this at least once in their lives. And as for me, I think I might be taking up some dancing of my own.
Permalink: BreakDanceWhat.html
Words: 359
Location: Buffalo, NY
09/29/07 02:22 - 66ºF - ID#41403
production
Oh yes, and we are going to Darien Lake on Sunday to have a little end of the season fun with Felly's family. I have a strange love hate relationship with rollercoasters. Felly and I both went on the tallest, fastest rollercoaster in the world, Kingda Ka, last year. Pretty sweet. I am going to miss however, Six Flags Fright Fest...we went last year to New Jersey and it was a great time, even if it was freazing, but alas, darien lake is no longer six flags so, no fright fest for laurens.
I was considering writing my opinion on this...box cutter robber guy, but I don't think I am going to get into it...there is too much possibility for unmitigated ramblings and the like. I will say this. Men will never understand what it means to be constantly afraid, to be constantly told not to go out alone. Women's movements are policed by men, and our freedom is greatly inhibited in this so called"land of the free". I find it disgusting that it is women who must make changes to our lives as a solution to this problem. We continue to blame the victims in these situations and it is no fucking surprise that men continue to perpetrate such heinous crimes.
Permalink: production.html
Words: 289
Location: Buffalo, NY
09/27/07 11:12 - 60ºF - ID#41353
Rain Rain Go away
In other news, thanks for all the encouragement about Grad School. I know in my head that this should be a difficult time, that surely everyone has feelings of doubt at some point or another in their lives. It is good to hear this from real live human beings though.
Oh and the storm the other night was wicked cool. I dig lightening and thunder and crazy sideways rain. I do not however like blah, half assed rain that just makes for a wet day rather than an exciting evening.
I guess I should eat breakfast so I can start poppin pills.
Permalink: Rain_Rain_Go_away.html
Words: 298
Location: Buffalo, NY
your mom and dad are very cute.
I hope that wasn't a Freudian slip in my own brain!
Good reminder to be grateful. Thanks.