I ate 3 Krispy Kream donuts today within an hour and a half. I am feeling like white trash. I keep trying to tell myself that they are smaller than normal donuts (like when you have 3 slices of pizza and you convince yourself they were small slices...we've all done it). However they are so much richer than normal donuts, and you can see them being fried right there in the window. Why? I keep telling myself I need to shed a few vanity pounds so I feel confident about being in a bathing suit this summer, but then I end up eating twice as much as I should. I just can't help myself sometimes...damn those carbohydrates!! Why must they be the tastiest food group!!!

I am currently watching unbreakable with Bruce Willis, I barely understand what is going on. Am I supposed to be scared because I really am not. However they have been having "spoilers" for M. Nigh Shamalyann's new movie (the guy who made Signs and 6th Sense) and it stars adrien brody, Segurney Weaver and Joaquin Phoenix. It looks really really creepy, its called "The Village."

My grandmother in Malta died today, I don't exactly know how to feel about it. I just found out two hours ago from my Brother.I met her and everything, but she didn't speak english so I never really knew her. Granted I am sad because now I will never get the chance. I often wonder if she was just like my mom, or worse or if she was a sweet old woman. Knowing my moms genetics I doubt that. My mom is leaving for Malta on friday to be with her family. I think she will be there for a couple weeks, so I wont see her when I get home. I haven't seen her in 5 months and I have to say, I enjoyed every minute of it. I was dreading going home, living in that house and dealing with her rules, limitations and put downs. At least having two weeks to just get used to being home after geting to live my own life and be happy out here will be a big help. Sometimes I really hate her, and I hate when the horribleness extends to me here. Its crazy to me that she can piss me off when I live 7 hours away. She is just that good, what a dark gift.

I know I should be attempting to study for something but damn is it hard to get motivated. I will be home saturday evening back to the b-lo. I can't wait to see the kitties!! Okay, I am going to attempt to make a study guide so if I feel like studying one of these days, I will be able to. Can't wait to see everyone!

I have been staying at Matt's room the last few nights because it is his finals week and he needs to work on his final model and studying but in order to still see him I need to work around his schedule. I am amazed at how bad guys make fun of each other and pretend that they are still joking like they aren't hurting each other's feelings. Girls do that to other girls that they don't like but guys will say the meanest most offensive things to their best friend and expect them not to be hurt or mad, its common practice. Matts roomate said like three really mean things to him yesterday and I couldn't believe that kid could sit there and pretend he was joking. I could tell it hurt Matt but he denied it to me the whole night, I just couldn't believe it. Guys, testosterone is not a brick wall fellas, you are allowed to admit when something hurts you. Whatev

Has anyone seen that british comedy Calender Girls? I am curious about it however I really have no desire to see old british women naked. I think we should start supporting movies with real women with real wrinkles instead of this whole botox and face lift phenomenon. Who knows what we are going to find out about the chemicals and surgery involved, it could turn into something deadly. Nothing that does what it does can be healthy.

Exams are coming up next week and I am not too worried about them, I just wish that they were over. Matt goes home this Saturday and he'll be there for a week, then he's driving back up next Saturday to pick me up and bring me back to the B-lo. I had an exam on Monday but I had it switched to Saturday so that I could get home sooner. Not to mention Matt and I have never been apart for more than 7 days, and an exam on Monday would have us apart for 10 days.

I saw 13 Going on 30 on Friday....OMG it was soooo very good!!! I could be a bit biased as I love anything 80's always have (yes long before it became the cool thing to do) and I adore Jennifer Garner. She is so adorable in this movie, I am so jealous, I so want to be her or at least her best friend. It was hilarious, even matt loved it (he was one of exactly 3 guys in the theater!) and it was touching, I cried at the weirdest times too, and of course I cried at the end. I wanted to see it again right after I saw it.

I am going to miss this city so bad, I can't even imagine how bad. Part of me misses it already...But I will get to see my cats and I miss them so much too. Grrr, its always a trade off. I get to have my cats and all my friends and no school, but I have to leave my freedom, my city and getting to sleep with matt every night. Okay I have to go get some ice cream....because I can

I am here in my room skipping my accounting class. Why? who really knows, I hate this class, and I already have missed my fair share of classes but my grades are pretty good so I don't feel as bad. It is such a beautiful friday I can't wait to be outside in that gorgeous Boston sunshine.
Last night Matt and I went to the Bruins game at the fleet center. Wow, Boston hockey fans are so crazy. I had so much fun, I wish I would have went to more during the season. It was game five of seven in the playoffs for the stanley cup. Bruins lost last night miserably (1-5) but the thing that was insane was how very bad the refs were, and the montreal canadiens were such wusses. This one guy kept faking injuries to try and get the bruins penalty, it was painfully obvious. There was a good few minute chant among the crowd of "these refs suck!" Very amusing.
I had a very long talk with mk the other night. I am glad I was candid and said exatly how I felt, as I always do, but I just want her to know that I am happy if she is happy and I support anything she does because I trust her judgement. I just wanted her to know that I am always thinking about her and worried about her. But I will be behind her 110% and happy to meet anything or anyone she loves. I miss her and I can't wait to see her and everyone again in a few weeks.
I can't believe I haven't seen everyone in almost 5 months. I can't believe I haven't petted my cats in almost 5 months. I miss them soooooooo much. Everytime I go to a store and see the cat food isle or see and orange cat stuffed animal I can't help but cry a little inside. I made matt change the channel when we were watching alien because segourney weaver has an orange kitty that looked so much like amber. It made me sad.
I think that is all my update for now, how boring my entries are, no humor at all anymore...I kinda wish I was at darien lake today with everyone like the day when everone came to see john mayer. That was fun...good times.

I was just wondering if anyone really reads my journal, because I don't feel like they do. I really don't care if people don't, but I am just curious if people do, and if so, who? E-mail me at duchess12@hotmail.com or mention it in your journal if you get too lazy to do that. Thank you for satisfying my curiosity

So those of you who have turned 21 recently and are wondering where your presents are, don't worry they are coming. I hope you got the cards...hopefully those were on time. I have 3/4 of MK's present done and I'm pretty sure I am picking up the last element of it and mailing it out today. As for Jillian I have been searching all month for the right gift for you and really I am finding it harder than usual. I wanted to get you guys the kind of gifts you probably wouldn't find in Buffalo. Really crazy or nice stuff that only a big city can provide, but I am finding this difficult. There were many things I know you guys would have probably liked but nothing that has stood out. Last weekend I bought the main part of MK's present and I hope that she finds it fun and different. I found it at a comic book store and Matt and I laughed for like ten minutes and we knew it was perfect. I had fun carrying it around the streets of Boston and when you see it you will understand why. Once again today I will be looking for Jill's present. I also have to find something for my cousin who turned 18 the same day as Jill's birthday. I am already on the lookout for Jen's present, but somehow I feel like her gift will be easier (maybe because I can focus on it and not have to think about two other people's presents at the same time). Craziness.
Tomorrow I am going to this cartoon festival at the boston symphony. Matt wanted to go so I suprised him with tickets. Apparently they show looney toons cartoons that use classical music or symphony type stuff from 10 to 4. They do tours of the symphony hall, and let you play instruments and they have face painting and the boston animal rescue society will be there etc. So basically we will be the only non-parents over the age of 10 in attendence. Hmmm fun? I don't know but when I find out I will tell you.
Yesterday I went to my public speaking class and all these kids had their posterboards and outlines and were making presentations and this girl was like "hey whats your topic" and I was like "umm for what?" she was like "you're the first person on the list to do their persuasive speech today" I thought I was having that dream where it was the big test and I didn't study or something. Everyone has had that dream or one like it, like that episode of full house where DJ was having a nightmare about taking her SAT's and she had a #2 pencil and they only accepted #4, and for some reason she had to wear a clown nose and vanna white guest starred? Does that one ring a bell? Anyway so I thought I was literally having that dream. Cause at first I got all nervous and then I was like oh I'm just having that dream again. BUT NO, it wasn't a dream! For the first time in my academic career I was COMPLETELY unprepared for a major assignment or project. I planned on doing it this weekend cause I thought it was due next week. I didn't't even have a topic yet. My teacher (who already hates me, as mentioned in the previous entry) was not pleased, and gave me some lecture about "fresh fish" or fish not being fresh? I don't know what she was talking about, it was some analogy or metaphor that I was not picking up on, whatever, bottom line is that if they don't have time to hear my speech Tuesday then I have to have a meeting with her alone. Talking to her during class makes my skin crawl, I can't even imagine spending "quality" time with that crazy woman. And she's not the fun crazy either, she's the 'one step away from being the woman talking to the people in the bilboard on the subway' kind of crazy. I digress...
OMG did anybody see the so called "April Fools" episode of the osbournes yesterday? It was the most horrible thing I have ever encountered. It looked like a regular episode but in the episode Jack was having this problem with sleep walking and they would show it each night with the night vision camera, and at one point he woke up hitting his bulldog lola, which was horrible but then it got worse. Th
e
ne
xt night they showed Sharon's favorite dog mini the cream colored pomeranian walking into Jack's room and jack "sleepwalking" (which looked quite authentic) picked up the dog and all you saw was him bear hugging it and heard these doggie whimpers and then dead silence. The next scene they show is ozzy and sharon looking for mini all over the house the next morning, Jack gets woken up by them calling for her and realizes that he has smothered the dog in his sleep so he gets up really quickly puts the dog's body in a duffle bag and sneaks out the front door swearing. Then later he calls ozzy and tells him he did something really stupid and says that he killed mini. Until this point matt and I watching it in absolute horror didn't think he actually killed the dog because "they wouldn't really show that on tv" he thought it was just hurt, or at least he kept trying to convince me of it. When I realized the dog really was dead I burst out crying I was so upset that I had just heard the cries and seen a little pomeranian (my favorite breed) die and I knew how much sharon loved that dog and how devastated I would be if my cat suddenly died. So I am bawling, hard core animal sounds and all and matt jumps up and changes the channel. After I calmed down he turned back to it for a minute as the credits were about to roll they say some sort of april fools thing and put up that no dogs were harmed in the making of the show and that mini was still alive. I was absolutely horrified that they would do that on tv and to their viewers. Matt was so angry that they made me cry, he vows never to watch the show again and we used to watch the show all the time. Okay well on that note I have to get going and make something for lunch and pick up mk's present stuff and hopefully mail it out. goodbye everyone

Today while I was out Mike IMed me saying that I don't update enough and that I have "dissapeared of the face of the earth" so I took this as my cue to update. I would update more if I had something interesting to say or if anything new really ever happened to me, that, and if I had more time.
Today I got up and went to my Public Speaking class (this should be a fun and easy class I realize but not the way my teacher teaches it, so to me it is tortuous). I took a midterm in there and thank god it was open book because otherwise I would not have passed and I need to pass so I can get out of there and never have to think about it again. Then I went back to my room to make sure Matt was up for his class and to get my books. I have had a free single since the second week of this semester when my roommate moved out so Matt has stayed over every night since. He hasn't even been back at his room in over a month. We should probably just get an apartment, but that would bring more confusion to our already hectic lives. Then I went to my travel geography class where I semi-aced this test on egypt. After that we proceeded to watch this incredibly boring video about egypt where I literally fell asleep. that hasn't happened in class in a very long time. Then after class I got lunch (poptarts and soup- yes I am a college student) and settled in watch Ellen. todays episode I have been anticipating all week (yes this the most excitement of my week, and now you see why I don't update) because Heath Ledger was on it. Did you know that Heath Ledger can play the digery-doo?? Well now you do. after watching that I took a nap for an hour before making my way down the oh so fashionable newbury street to work. I worked an 8 hour shift almost entirely alone (with the exception of my manager) and made almost $10 in tips (which is a lot for working at Ben and Jerry's). Wesley Clarks political advisor came in and I served him (he gave me a $2 tip and has a very hot son who looks live a very metrosexual John Mayer, he was probably gay thinking about it now). Then I went home for the night after my shift (at approx. 9pm)
Apparently President Bush was in town at Park Plaza (which is basically across the street from my dorm) for some sort of campaign fundraising thing which I did not know about because I was working all day. Crazy. There is also apparently a serial killer on the loose in Worcester (about a half hour from my school) who has killed three women already...creepy. Hmmm what else...I am getting about $300 back from taxes which I am hopfully putting aside for spring break next year. Matt and I have pinkey sworn that we are going to save up and go to disney world next year for spring break after being stuck here while everyone else was out having fun. Anyone who can aford it, or has the discipline to save up is invited.
I saw Mona Lisa smile the other day, I rented it on video. Eh, it was nothing special, I was kind of dissapointed. I can't exactly say what I didn't like, just know I didn't. Okay more on my exciting life tomorrow because someone is at my door...goodnight

I am very excited for Jill's brother and Laura, and of course for Jill herself! I was far too young to be excited when my neices were born...not to mention they turned out to be little monsters....but I think now that I would have been very happy about the whole idea if it happened today. It is very hard for me to imagine Joe as grown up still, let alone as someone's dad. I can still remember being woken up at Jills house by the "emergency medical" song Joe liked to sing, not to mention his eating 4 times the ammount of any rational person and not gaining an ounce, or hearing him sing a random and very out of tune U2 song when he knew I was o the phone or staying at Jill's. He will probably be the funest and craziest dad ever. Its a good thing Laura is so sweet and calm, hopefully she can pass some of that on to Aiden to balance out Joe's genes...not that there's anyting wrong with Zach genes just that they are a little 'different.' I love them just the same those zaney Gordon Lightfoot lovers.

haha got ya...you thought I was talking about giving "wholesale clubs" but actually I was talking about my new job at Ben and Jerry's. I was interviewed and hired yesterday and thank god, because I was down to my last $20 bucks and soon enough I wouldn't have been able to do laundry or buy new deodorant and I didn't wanna become the stinky kid in class. I haven't worked yet, but my boss is from williamsville which is nice, a little piece of home, at work. Matt has been staying with me all week for his spring break and it has been so nice having him here. I was so spoiled by getting to see him anytime I want. Next week is my spring break where I will probably be staying with him at his room, but I wont get to see him very much because he has a lot of classes and works a lot of hours. Well my new job should keep me busy next week so I will not be sitting around his room thank god. As much as I love being at Matts room, his roomates are something to learn to tolerate. One is stinky and creepy, one is nice, and one can be an asshole depending on his mood swings. They never really make me feel comfortable being there on the whole I always feel like I am overstaying my welcome or that they just want me to go away. I am really dreading staying there the more I think about it. Hopefully it will go okay. I haven't spoken to mike or mk since the other day, but I hope that the misunderstanding is behind you and you guys can make a little more time for one another and learn to be a little more tolerant of each others lives. You would really regret it if you stopped being friends, friendship itself is never lost just misplaced and we all need to take a little time and effort to find each other again. I know we are all very busy and our lives may be different and far apart but we really do need to keep in touch and stay friends as best we can even if it takes a little more effort. I have learned that the hard way over the past 3 years. I never want to lose you guys, no matter where I am and you shouldn't lose each other. Enough said. So for all of you politics fans, there is yet another reason to visit me in Boston. Get this, John Kerry lives on my street about a half block away. Apparently I was like the only person at my school who didn't know this. My friend shannon babysitts for the family who lives next door to him. Their dad is the guy who owns the staples chain and the staples center where the lakers play in LA. Apparently every kid that lives in the dorm at my school has an fbi file now. There are secret service guys all over my street 24 hours a day in overcoats and with those ear peices and they look in windows of cars with these little flashlights and just patrol all the time. Its crazy that I never noticed that stuff before, but I guess they have upped the SS guys since everyone else dropped out of the race, which is why I noticed now as oppsed to earlier. Craziness. Okay I think I have to go to the grocery store and get some stuff for dinner. I'll talk to you guys later

I just read Terry's entry on Mike's dad and the accompanying answering machine message and I laughed so hard for like 10 minutes. The more I listened to it though, the more I realize that someday Mike will be his dad. That is the kind of message that Mike leaves on my voicemail now, so in like 20 years I can only imagine that the messages will be the same if not worse. However I don't know if Mike will ever pick up his dads need to randomly argue about things that make no sense and are out of nowhere. Or that may also be something that comes with time and a lot of pipe smoking (whatever Tony Visco really smokes in that pipe has always been to some debate). My experiences with Mr.visco have been scattered throughout my years as Mike's friend, but most often my random experiences have been on the phone, where Mr. Visco has either just tried to talk to me for no reason and without any real topic of substance, for 20 minutes, until giving Mike the phone. Usually at the time Mike is not busy or unable to take the call, he is generally right there in the room, but Mr. Visco will talk to me for long periods of time before even telling Mike that I am on the phone. Sometimes it turns out that Mike was never home to begin with, and Mr. Visco just felt like asking me random questions before telling me Mike was still at work. The best are the times when he tries telling me that Mike has moved out or no longer lives there, when this happens I must sit there and debate with Mr.Visco about why this is not true until he will call Mike for the phone call. I may have spent upwards of a full day out of my life talking solely to Mr. Visco on the phone before he will give it to Mike. All the while Tony Visco is a charming man and quite entertaining, that is when he is not trying to mallot any donuts.

Mk, I just read your update to my posting from yesterday (everyone else who hasn't read it, please see yesterdays posting below)I realized that I am supposed to be in NYC the weekend before the wednesday that you arrive. Matt and I have opposite weeks for spring break so we decided to share that weekend we have in NYC. Maybe, just maybe I can stay until wednesday to at least spend a day with you, if you are not too busy of course (and of course everyone else is more than welcome to come too, call or e-mail me if you are interested and maybe you can stay at my sisters apartment with me) my break is that week of the 15th. This could be interesting. Of course all of this hinges on whether or not I will have a job to get enough money to follow through with this plan. Here has been my life since I last updated:
Matt and I finally had our incredibly belated christmas exchange two days before valentines day, I got a really cool red vinyl wonder woman planner, some dvds, magnets for my fridge posters for my room etc. I really liked all of my gifts.
I have been searching for a job around my area but my search has been fruitless so far. There are still a few possibilities I am waiting on including a gourmet dog treat shop and a stationary/scrapbook store, we shall see. My bank account is down to $40 dollars so I need a job ASAP. However it is cold most days and I hate going out and putting in applications when I can't feel my fingers.
I talked to my brother and cousin yesterday. My brother still has no job after 3 months and he only goes to school part time and his girlfriend is still beastly and mean, not to mention she cheats on him all the time. He is depressed all the time and it hurts me to talk to him sometimes because I can see the answers to making his life better but he just can't. He worries me.
My cousin is almost 18 she is so dramatic about everything. She falls in love with every guy she dates and she hates her life, did I mention she is almost 18?
I never call home except when I have to and then its just to get the lecture about me not calling from my mom, even though I am usually right in the middle of calling her, do you see the confusion? Then she wonders why I don't call.
I miss my cats and I realize that if I don't get to go home for break I wont see them for 5 months, and that is way too long not to see my furry friends. Yet going home means dealing with the three topics above.
I saw a U2 lazer show at the planetarium in the boston museum of science on sunday night. It was so cool, you really need to experience it to understand how neat it is, I love u2, you gyus would have loved it too.
I went to the boston museum of science on presidents day, monday (matts 21st birthday) and it was litterally swarming with little kids. Being around so many of them makes me not want to ever have kids, but being around one really cute one brings out that feeling of maybe I do. I'll just have to remember to go to a child infested area any time I even think about having kids. And god damn there are some bad parents out there with some rude little bratty no mannered kids. Enough said.
matt did the cutest thing on Valentines day. He had to work in the morning so he got up and when I was asleep, he filled out an entire box (32 cards) of snoopy and woodstock valentines and hid them all over my room with cute little notes on all of them. It took me all day to find them and when I did there was a box of chocolates. He let me pick out my valentines day present which i didn't find until two days after vealentines day when we were at the science museum for his birthday, it is a silver ring with a beautiful amber stone. We went out for dinner on valentines day, we were supposed to go ice skating in the common (boston's central park) afterward but we had to wait for a table for almost two hours so we didn't have time.
My grades are doing fine from what I can tell, its not so hard here but its certainly no
t
ea

sy. Its no learning disabilty school thats for sure. A lot of my classes transfered over so I might be able to graduate on time or at least with only one semester over.
I was doing this fashion show for my friend in the fashion merchandising major here but I dropped out yesterday after I almost faught a girl with pink hair. She was a bitch and I was sick of dealing with her every day so I told them that if she wasn't going to be removed I would quit. Needless to say they didn't remove her so I quit. Kyle (my friend the fashion major)totally understood, he hates working with her too and would have quit if he wasn't getting credit for the class. But it was kinda fun walking the runway...for a little while.
On Matts birthday I took him to the hard rock cafe for dinner and told the waitresses that it was his birthday and that he is incredibly shy so to make sure they did something to make him really embarassed. When his cake came they took him to the middle of the resteraunt made him stand on a chair and drink a flaming shot while everyone was screaming and watching. It was hilarious, he was so red, it was his first shot too so he didn't know how to drink it, he looked like someone made him swallow raw eggs. Good times, he's already plotting my embarassment for my 21st.
We also saw 50 first dates as part of matts celebration. I liked it but yet some things I didn't like. I didn't like the ending...well I guess thats all I didn't like really. Still it was a good movie, go see it, very cute, or depressing, depending who you are.
I guess there are lots more things I oculd update you on but I have been writing for a while and I want to watch a couple wedding stories on tlc. I will update more later. Please everyone fill me in on the stuff in the entry below, these are things I must know, urgently.