Category: work
09/06/06 02:00 - 72ºF - ID#37373
well, shit
The whole point of this story is: I got a callback on that web app developer position at Buff State . Seems I didn't completely fuck up my chances of being hired yet and, despite not having exactly the experience they're looking for [cf: Appendix I] it seems they still want me to have a short 3-hour chat with the search committee, the web team, and the web administration director. Privately I am shitting minibricks because the main reason I applied for the job was because it would be idiotic not to [double my salary, plus benefits, government job, &c.]. I was not really looking for a job. It's more like Laff in the Dark. I'm just cruising along in my uncomfortable little car with, like, bats in my face or something, and then it's like BAM! motherfucker! send us your resume. And then I fall right off the end of the extended metaphor into some kind of Search Committee asking me for references.
Which brings me to another, premature point- anyone want to be a web applications developer here? It involves Macs and Adobe Creative Suite and dealing with weirdoes and PostgreSQL and Zope ... lots and lots of Zope.
Also I saw (e:enknot) and (e:paul) at Cafe 59 at lunch today. We discussed the merits of a column in my paper about extremely dorky things that nobody would ever understand. We think it's a great idea, but I'm not convinced that the public is Ready for that kind of nerdiness.
- Z
_______________
Appendix I: They are seeking a web applications developer with custom CMS development experience [this is something I have been doing for several years]. They also want a few years of PHP and Oracle experience. I've used PHP extensively and I was allowed to fiddle with Oracle a little at school, but I have almost nothing to show for either. I've always been of the opinion that the stuff you do is what's important and the language you use is kind of an implementation detail. Employers rarely share this opinion.
Permalink: well_shit.html
Words: 393
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: rhetorical question
08/31/06 06:25 - 68ºF - ID#37372
know what's really weird?
- Z
Permalink: know_what_s_really_weird_.html
Words: 59
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: food
08/29/06 06:47 - 67ºF - ID#37371
dear sirs
- - -
Last night we went to Condrell's for improbably enormous sundaes. I decided that if I ever ran my own soda shop, there would be an inscrutable item on the menu labeled:
UNSPEAKABLE ICE CREAM CATASTROPHE . . . . . . . . . . $9.50
It would probably be in small letters jammed in between two sections somewhere, where nobody would find it. And though one must not speak of the Unspeakable Ice Cream Catastrophe, we came up with some sugar-fueled ideas for what would happen when someone ordered it.
The Unspeakable Ice Cream Catastrophe:
[list]
would require a waiver
would require proof of age
would be on the news
would drip out of the ductwork in the ceiling
would come flying at your head from the kitchen
would be a Friendly's cone-head with a butter knife through it
would be different every time
would be served on a Reuben
would be accompanied by shrieks and loud banging from the kitchen
would not necessarily taste awful
would be topped with jagermeister
would be served in a totalled Tonka truck
would involve flaming marshmallows
would somehow degenerate while you were eating it
would look like any other sundae until the ninjas came rappelling in through the window
would somehow pass health inspection
would have a tire track through it
would be like dinner theater
would involve pop rocks
would require goggles and a poncho
would require counseling
[/list]
- Z
Permalink: dear_sirs.html
Words: 282
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: wheels
08/28/06 09:30 - 68ºF - ID#37370
wheels
This afternoon, we got eight more wheels each and tooled around the neighborhood a little [cf: ]. I am less likely to write about them later; suffice it to say that this is a very nice pair of roller skates, and I plan to pick up my old habit of roller skating around the park again [cf: ].
This weekend I got an email from a former editorial assistant informing me that Buffalo State College is seeking a Web Applications Developer . On the one hand, I like doing what I'm doing now - people programming - and, while I'm not exactly upwardly mobile, my department has no choice but to grow.
But when you get a call from a photographer who has not appeared in your publication since longer than you've been working there and whose skills at annoyance and coercion are second only to her skill at photography, blaming a recently-departed coworker for fucking her over, quote and unquote, and that she will have to miss fashion week because she can no longer fool the appropriate authorities into believing that someone publishes her photos [which are actually very good an publishable if only she could find a periodical that actually, say, has a fashion section] - and all this can be avoided if I could sift through somewhere around 4000 of her photos from the last two seasons and put them on our website within the next couple weeks [oh and by the way she just lost her baby and the world hates her] - well, it kinda makes me think that maybe doubling my salary and getting benefits for a cushy and less dramatic government job might not be as bad an idea as it may sound.
Any other disgruntled Web developers want in on this? We can show up for our interviews at the same time and freak out HR by talking trash at each other in the waiting room. We could make the interviewer uncomfortable by offering to 'do this Thunderdome-style.'
- Z
Permalink: wheels.html
Words: 401
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: poetry
08/19/06 01:47 - 74ºF - ID#37369
100
I personally like the opposite sex (on a good day, that is). (e:southernyankee,100) What does this say about me? (e:hodown,100) Her nickname is Barbie because she's tall and blond and wears lots of makeup. (e:jenks,100) I picked up the new Artvoice this morning; (e:uncutsaniflush,100) there are lots of pictures of her. Very nice pictures, I must admit. (e:metalpeter,100)
If you wait for more than 48 hours without anyone picking up the phone, hang up and send a letter. (e:mrmike,100) Finally broke down, couldn't take it no more. (e:shawnr,100) I felt like I had a duty to share this information with everyone; (e:lisa,100) some of you might get a kick out of this: (e:joshua,100)
"ur hot
ur pretty
ur sexy
ur adorable
ur sweet
ur a sexy angel in heaven
ur a beautiful centerfold
ur as pretty as a rose (e:theecarey,100)
You're quite the maid of the mist. (e:ajay,100)
I hope you have a great one. (e:mike,100)
Love to you." (e:terry,100)
I just did our grocery shopping tonight. (e:kara,100) There she was! (e:springfaerie,100) Lucky I brought my camera along! (e:ladycroft,100) I can't believe how many pictures I took. (e:maureen,100) She was always screaming at me (e:leetee,100) - no one would believe me that these accidents are not my fault. (e:imk2,100)
I am saving her head. (e:libertad,100) Can we fix this problem? (e:lilho,100)
- Z
_______________
Appropriately demented journal music: Talking Heads, 'Psycho Killer' (Live), from 'Stop Making Sense.' gather:0188079001156010872
Permalink: 100.html
Words: 276
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: geeky
08/16/06 08:26 - 75ºF - ID#37368
great ideas in action
Item: I recently discovered that, as a byproduct of a Homeland Security project, USGS is making available extremely high resolution [1px=1ft] uncompressed aerial photography of the 133 most populated urban areas in the United States at what I understand to be very low prices. The Census Bureau already makes available location data about all the streets in a city through their TIGER/Line program for free. The NWS has begun offering geocoded satellite data with 2min resolution.
-Where is (e:zobar) going with this-- you say.
A couple weekends ago I smoked a J and hit Google Earth and it blew my mind. All Over The Wall. [Which happened to be on the hifi at the time.] I thought it would be so freaky to set up a house WHERE YOUR HOUSE IS*. And you could put your car where your car is, or drive it down the streets to hang out at your friend's house. And if you looked up in the sky, you could see the actual clouds that were actually there at that moment. Because sometimes it sucks outside. My car would be the Monopoly shoe. Dude.
- Z
_______________
- And if you looked at the computer in your virtual house, you'd see Google Earth with your house where your house is.
Permalink: great_ideas_in_action.html
Words: 337
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: vincent gallo
08/15/06 12:31 - 77ºF - ID#37367
wtf
Permalink: wtf.html
Words: 11
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: scooter
08/11/06 07:10 - 70ºF - ID#37366
got my
The point being that I just got my back from the shop, and I sort of dig where she's at. Life is more fun on two wheels.
EDITED TO ADD:
This link is for (e:dragonlady7) - it's the lightest trailer on the market, and it also happens to be one of the tallest.
- Z
_______________
Appendix for gearheads:
What happened was: the engine was idling really low, to the point where it would stall out at traffic lights. This was very bad. They told me to turn up the idle screw. So I did, except then it would idle very high before idling very low and stalling out. Then I stopped at a light, pulled in the clutch and eased off the accelerator. The bike stopped, but the engine ... kept going. This was when I freaked out. I held down the kill switch, and the engine ... kept going. This was when I freaked out harder. After several seconds, the engine did die, I pushed it into a school parking lot, hitched a ride home, and called the shop. So when I picked it up today, I said well, what was the problem? And the mechanic said well, it looks like your gasket was homemade out of cardboard and it eventually gave way.
Permalink: got_my.html
Words: 273
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: food
08/07/06 09:37 - 75ºF - ID#37365
a buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor
[badum-ching!]
So the vendor gives him the hot dog and he hands over a $20 bill. The vendor takes the money, and goes about his business. The Buddhist says, 'hey, what about my change?'
And the vendor goes: 'Change must come from within.'
[badum-dum-ching!]
We went to Old Man River for dinner, which got me thinking: every place you go, they make hot dogs different. Buffalo's got the 'Texas Hot,' which involves weird red shit if it's grilled or weird brown shit if it's griddled. Rochester's got the White Hot and the Garbage Plate. New Yorkers put sauerkraut and mushy degenerate onions on their all-beef dogs. Chicago hot dogs come from another planet entirely (WIKIPEDIA - Chicago-style hot dog).
Thus did I receive my Calling: I will quit my job, buy an RV, and tour America, sampling everyone's hot dogs along the way. I will write a book about hot dogs, with colorful photographs and unusual stories, and also there will be some recipes. I will become a veritable professor of hot dography. And then...
Well, by then I will probably be so sick of hot dogs that I will never eat another in my entire life.
- Z
Permalink: a_buddhist_goes_to_the_hot_dog_vendor.html
Words: 208
Location: Buffalo, NY
Category: porn
08/05/06 09:17 - 64ºF - ID#37364
something for everyone
This one's my favorite. Truth in advertising?
- Z
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Permalink: something_for_everyone.html
Words: 393
Location: Buffalo, NY
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There's never any discussion about the stuff that really matters for real programming jobs. Like how well you document your code, learn a new technology, create reusable code, use existing documentation, work with other programmers, use a source versioning system, design solutions that allow for future flexibility, etc. Hell, in my experience negotiating the politics of what end users want/need vs. what their managers want/need by itself takes up more time than actual coding.
While I wouldn't expect a technical recruiter to know how to program in a specific language, I would expect someone whose job it is to recruit such people to have some common sense to look for the kind of stuff that's in the above paragraph.
Noooo shit man. Hell, I was told this week....hold on a tick, I wasn't told this straight up, but it was incinuated that if you don't use X language in Y amount of time then you must not know X! Very very very stupid, an opinion of someone who obviously never wrote one goddamn line of code.
Anyway I think you should do what's best for Zobar, and if that means moving on then why not? I know you'll make the right choice.