Ok why am I ALWAYS tired.

I just put my head down on my desk for about a minute and dozed off. What? It's 2:30!

Oy. My shoes are too big. I'm not sure what to do about this. I know there are inserts you can get to make them fit more snugly but I'm not sure where to get them. I used to use them when on wardrobe crew at the park, but they were always provided for us.

I've been typing the same document for almost 2 hours. Looong explanation short: Once in awhile we get a document that requests that we admit certain things about certain documents, and we have to respond. We have to retype each request for admission which is 1 long sentance, and then leave a space for a response. There are 270 requests in this document. I started yesterday off and on, and have been doing a couple here and there all day, I'm only up to 206.

So I went to school and got my degree in Theatre. Now I'm a legal secretary...yes the correlation is apparent to me as well...? I feel like I should be disappointed or like saddened by the fact that I'm not working in my chosen area of study; but the truth is i'm not at all. I'm totally fine with it. I have no interest in or desire to be out there stage managing. Like absolutely none at all. I still love theatre and I love seeing plays and reading them but I just don't want to stage manage right now. It's too much stress and pressure and even though I'm good at it I have no desire to do it. Probably in a couple of years I'll be interested...probably. There's always the possibility of grad school in the distant future... eh, maybe.

whooopeeee!!

if you're one of those LAME-Os who don't read harry potter...i feel bad for you.

thats all i'm gonna say cuz i can't give anything away or at least (e:mk) will kill me.

book 7. 14 hours straight (almost).

effective yesterday at work (my 6th day there btw) we were reassigned to different attorneys.

the attorney i used to work for is a really nice guy who has a very heavy case load. he works a lot with another attorney who also has a very heavy caseload. Mary, another secretary now has both of them. I have an attorney who is also a really nice guy who works for LFP, Inc. aka Larry Flynt's company. he gets Hustler sent to him every month, awesome. he reviews a lot of other people's work and doesn't generate a whole lot of his own.

anyway, yesterday Bill, the new attorney, gave me 1 thing to do that took, no lie, 2 minutes to do. i spent the rest of the day cleaning and helping Mary who was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. eventually i get a new attorney they haven't hired yet, but i have no idea when that will be. so work shouldn't be too stressful for at least the next few days.

woohooo.

Two days down at the new job. So far so good. The attorney I work for is really nice and really patient. He's really understanding about the fact that I'm a little lost and overwhelmed, and he's very willing to help me out when I don't understand something. Let's see how long this lasts, haha. I actually work for 2 attorneys but one of them is leaving the firm on Friday...was it something I said?

yep. thats about all that's new. Europe was awesome. Milan is kind of gross and covered in graffiti but it was neat to go, I don't plan to go back. Madrid I would definitely go back to, it was cool. We didn't get to go out at all, so sometime I want to go with friends so we can go out on the town on a saturday night or something. It would be a great city to go to as a couple.


i love the show Whose Wedding is it Anyway. It makes me want to get married. Not that I didn't want to get married before, but it makes me want to plan a wedding and try on wedding dresses and pick out flowers and stuff. It looks like fun even though I'm sure it would be wicked stressful if you were actually the one getting married.

i can't get over how much this bride's dress and veil do not go together. i can't describe it, but its a hot mess.

So i have to work 7am-3pm every day this week. except friday, when (hopefully) I'll be on a European adventure with my mom and (e:mk).

this leads to a problem for me.

Wednesday night I want to go out...there's this guy I'm interested in and I know where he'll be on Wednesday night, and its in a place that it would be totally normal for me to be there as well. Therefore, I of course plan to be there. Problem: It's like 10 miles away. I have to be up by like 6:30 the next morning. ouch.

The whole process/bullshit of being interested in someone sucks. I have no reason to think he might be interested in me. He's a really nice guy, he's cute, now granted he's a republican (I'm not and yes this does bother me a little because he's super politically conservative) and he's not a guy that I went to college with.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if there was no bullshit? You could just say "Hey! You're cute, funny, smart, single and straight. Hey! I'm all those things too. Let's see where this goes" and if they weren't interested they would say so, no one's feelings would be hurt, and we'd all move on with our lives.

Alas, this is not how we function as a society. Therefore I will be forced to conveniently show up a few places, find random (and few) reasons to send him a message on facebook or post on his wall, occasionally bring up his name in conversations with people who know him better than I do, and basically suffer through that irritating feeling I get in my stomach when I like someone but know nothing will come of it. Becuase, let's face it, it never does.

I have his phone number but only because of facebook events he's invited me to. I don't know if he has mine, we've never officially exchanged them. This is annoying. What I need is more confidence.

Therefore, I constantly psych myself out and convince myself that there's no way any guy could or would like me, especially this guy. I don't think any ever has, other than the couple that I've dated. I just don't think I'm the kind of girl that guys like. What does that mean I think guys like? Couldn't really tell ya, but basically not me. Then what's even worse, if a guy does like me, I'm afraid that once they get to know me better they'll be like "oh man I can do better than this" or that they only like me because they're desperate and have lowered their standards.

If I read these words written by a friend of mine, I'd punch them in the face. But please don't punch me in the face, I've felt this way about myself for....my entire life.

In like every other aspect of my life I'm probably too confident, so I dump all my insecurity in this part of my world.

So I finally have a grown-up job. i'm a litigation secretary at Lipsitz, Green, Scime, and Cambria. I'll be working as a secretary/assistant for 2 attorneys. I don't really feel that I'm totally qualified for the position, by knowing my education, experience and skills, they stilll hired me. So...sweet. There are some perks, 1 hour for lunch, (unpaid but whatev), full benefits and other stuff. I'll start July 9th. so byebye Urban Valet.

on a not so awesome note, I still haven't received my passport. I filed my application march 27th, and as of today have not yet received it. I called the office and waited on hold FOREVER and some woman took care of things because my trip is within 2 weeks. I will be beyond devastated if I can't go on our trip. I'm sure that I'll be able to, considering I filed my application 12 weeks ago and it was supposed to be to me in 10-12 weeks and it isn't yet. Fortunately it isn't that I received it and accidentally threw it away or anything, it's still at the processing center in New Hampshire. I should've just paid to have it expedited. My friend did and got his like 4 weeks before he expected to.

Any tick, now I get to go shopping for work clothes, how bizoring/ I'm really excited to have nice clothes. I generally dress like crap. haha.

So (e:mk) and I are all moved in but we are without the internet/cable until Tuesday. booooo. I'm pirating wireless from Spot coffee right now. how enjoyable.

We're planning a 'woohoo we have our sweet new apartment' party for the near future, but our apartment is not huge so it can't be tooo many people, we'll keep ya posted, who knows when it'll be.

The job search continues. I had an interview with an agency today, and I had an email this morning from a woman and another call from an HR manager both who saw my resume on Monster.com. Its looking like Monster.com is the way to go for getting jobs. I had to take this wacky computer skills test. Anne hasn't used Excel in a while and she's pretty sure she didn't do so hot on that section, but she knows she aced the typing and Word tests because she uses those skills on an almost daily basis. Nevertheless despite my probably lackluster performance I got an interview with the office that needs a receptionist. Sweet. Here's hoping by the end of next week I'll have a real job!!!!!

yay! think good thoughts for me!!

So tomorrow's the big day!!!

except for a few clothes and a few odds and ends, and my bike, everything I own is packed up and sitting in my living room. its not that weird actually, i've only been at home since last thursday, and before that I was last at home for about 5 weeks last summer. I'm not emotional about it. My new place is actually closer to my parent's house than my old apartment was.

so a (i thought) good friend of mine told me she couldn't help me move because she had to work all day tomorrow, fine, not a big deal, work is work, I didn't think twice about it.

This was about a week ago, fast forward to this afternoon. I see about 5 facebook wall posts of her asking people if they want to go to the beach tomorrow...excuse me? Even if your work schedule changed and you still didn't want to help, at least call me and say so, don't just ignore me. She sat in her room while I moved all of my stuff out of our old apartment and didn't even offer to help, and I was doing it mostly by myself.
This whole thing just leaves me feeling hurt. I guess its out of sight out of mind. I didn't realize she was such a fair-weather friend. I won't even get into all of the things we've done together and all that. She wouldn't even live in the fucking apartment we shared for a year if I didn't make it happen. She's always been immature and passive aggressive so I don't know why this surprises me. Oh well, I was never 100% sure we'd stay close, I wanted us too and thought we would, but apparently I don't mean as much to her as she did to me. I guess dirty dishes mean more to her than our friendship.

Ok got that out of my system. Together with my 8 year old cousin we created a secret handshake for the apartment, all who enter must learn it.
anyone wants to help: 432 Richmond at about 10:30-11:00am!!! :)

I love the song black river by amos lee. Anyone else?


Thank you Cesar Salinas for using this song for a dance piece in from the wings a few years ago, you've changed my life.....not really but hey, good song.

So I've been neglectful of my (e:strip) journal. bad (e:strip)per. especially since I'll actually be living in the (e:strip) soon and will no longer be a poser from Kenmore/Amherst as I am right now.

I'm sure y'all know about (e:MK) and I getting a SWEET apartment on Richmond. We're PUMPED.

It's great when good comes out of bad. Loooong story short my aunt's ex-husband has a LOT of stuff in his old apartment he won't be coming back for so we get it. A bed frame, TV, bookshelf, Coffee table, dishes, kitchen table and chairs and some other random stuff. Plus we have a lot of stuff from my grandparents including a mattress and box spring that I need.

The only thing we've spent money on so far is the couch...which we bought thanks to a tip from (e:jill) at the As Is store at the Salvo on Military... For this couch which is a full sized sleeper sofa we paid $15. Excused me, $16.31 with tax. And we bought a mattress topper for $40 to make the bed comfortable for our drunk friends who need a place to crash. We'll need to buy new bedroom stuff and a chair for the living room. And I'm buying a table from a friend of mine for $10. Awesome.

I can't wait to move in.


June 9th!!! Free Beer! Free Pizza!! Lots of Maloy quality time!! wooooo!!!


:)