I was in my Black Women and US History class yesterday and she had opened the course with a book called Black Feminist Thught. Basically from a very broad perspective it addresses the various interlocking oppression that women of color are faced with including but not limited to race, class, and gender. Now, keep in mind that within this class there are not only a wide variety of disciplines represented incluing History, Enlgish, Political Science, and me, Women's Studies, but there is also everyone from 2nd semester undergrad to almost done with their PhD. This makes things interesting to say the least.
Getting to the point, I was sitting next to a pretty, young, blonde haired blue eyed white girl during our discussion of this book. An it became quite obvious that she didn't get it. I can't say exactly what she said, but she basically said that she gets discriminated against and she is really white so why does race matter? I wanted so badly to sit down with her and have an extended discussion about white priveledge and whatnot but I just didn't have the time. I think, now, looking back I could have given some really good examples that perhaps would have made more sense than what I did say. Either way, when we were walking out of class I said to her, ya know its great to ask questions, and then let her say her little speal about how a lot of this stuff is over-arching and why its a question of race, and I said well, white women have talked for a long time with out talking about race and now it is black women's turn. This obviously doesn't even begin to touch the tip of the ice berg...how could I tell her that she was being so completely ignorant and that it was exactly that kind of thinking that marginalzes women of color from feminism and many other realms of academia, let alone social and instituional systems.
The point here is not to rant about some dumb white girl. The point is to say that I used to be her. When I first came to New Paltz and had a real, up close look at my own white privledge, my own racism, it was scary as hell and I wasn't exactly open minded about it. I wanted to be but there is something that tells us that its ok.
Alright, I am rambling.../anyway the thing is...the ONLY way to move beyond this kind of thinking is to talk about it, so I walked down the hall with this girl, trying to make some type of small coalition. Can I fully explain to her what it is like to be black and female? Hell no, and I have no intention of taking that voice from those women, but I can talk about what it means to be a white feminist in a racist world. Why we have to talk about color, about class, sexuality, ability, citizenship, the list goes on..SO if she will talk to me, I sure as hell am gonna talk back.

I am putting of going to class. I have ONE class this week and I don't wanna go. Unfortunatly, these are the once a week gotta go cause I'm in Grad school now kinda classes. I didn't read one of the assignments either, although I did read the ENTIRE book that was required and as a result of my already existing feminist background, I think this should be sufficient.

Theory is like riding a bike. I thought that maybe somewhere between two years off of school and a "dead end" job at a gas station I would have lost the nack for interpreting and analyizing theory, but this is not the case. In fact, I have all of a sudden sort of regained a certain area of feminist consciousness that had been temporarily replaced with HGTV and Animal Planet. Not that these don't bring up some interesting starting places for theory as well! But that is another entry.

I have to go.

The party was fabulous I must say. I can't think of a better first estrip party to have attended. We do have pictures and some video and depending on the quality, we shall post them, and by we I mean Felly.

Grad school has started for me and I am already feeling slightly looney. I read a 300 page book in 3 days, which basically equated to 20 or so hours of reading. I like reading, don't get me wrong, but I would have much rather been at AmVets with Janelle and Drew yesterday, but instead I successfully gave myself a crook in the neck and a lame labor day. Luckily I only have 1 class this week, but as a result I have, surprise, extra reading to do.

Oh yes, and another note. Our friendly downstairs neightbor came upstairs with the premise of talking about the leak and had a look around apt. commenting on the kithcen, the square footage, etc and had a look a the bathroom as well. Well, after a while we decided to take a shower and low and behold, within less then five minutes of our shower there comes a tap tap tappin on our door. Needless to say we didn't answer cause we weren't uh appropriate for company. He came back later to inform us that yes, yes indeed it is still leaking, so who knows what they are going to have to do to fix that shit.

Today I will be reading some scholarly journals on the topic "What is a Disaster?"

Well peeps, for those of you who were out at Cathode Ray last weekend, our pics are finally up! I am slightly disappointed because I didn't win anything, however there are numbers quite close to mine that did, so if you kept your little card, you should check it out! For anyone who is voyeuristic or simply nosy, the website is www.buffalobarfly.com

Look forward to seeing everyone tonight!

I was sitting out side smoking my pre-shower cigarette and one of the guys from ESquare Capital was like "uh, can I come up stairs and take a look at your bathroom cause his (my downstairs neighbor) ceiling is leaking. Of course I let him in, but now he has cauked my bathtub and I can't take a shower. Grrrr. It's fine, really. I love not showering, especially on my hair washing day when I have plans to run all over campus and what not. Ah well.

The picture strip at the top of my screen is currently the little chalky nasty valentine's day hearts that say "only you" and "you & me" on them. I can't eat those things, but do enjoy gluing them to various things when the season is right. Which, by the way, it certainly is not.

I set out on my own yesterday to find the Talking Leaves bookstore on main street, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was thinking it would be bigger and much less cool then the one on Elmwood, but although it was slightly larger, it was equally as cool. And the guy who was helping with the textbook area was super nice and looked all over the store for the book I needed, but alas wasn't there. Another great thing was, it wasn't obnoxiously crowded so there was no waiting in tremendous lines or feeling rushed while looked around. I hate that. I was looking forward to not going to the campus book store, but I need this book cause I have to read the entire thing by next week and can't put it off any longer. Oh well. I am still pleased that I can buy (most of) my textbooks at an independent store. Way to go Buffalo.

So, as I type there are about 4-5 officers of the law parked outside my apartment with their little lights ahflashin. By the looks of it they are checking people registrations and what not, but may or may not be looking for a one armed man. And of course, as soon one citizen pulled over directly in front of our driveway for whatever reason, Felly shows up and has to practically drive on the grass to get in. Now, I respect police officers for various reasons, but I feel like this is truly a waste of their time and my money. Sure they may indeed catch a true criminal by accident, but chances are they are just annoying everyday folk like you and me who, for the most part, are law abiding. I guess I just want them to not bother me unless I ask for it, and in my opinion driving down the street is not asking for it. That is all.

Today is my mid week day off. And by day off I really mean, do all the shit you haven't had time to do the rest of the week. Meh. Yesterday I went to Talking Leaves on Elmwood in hopes of getting my books for some of my classes. Unfortunatly, the text books are only held at the Main St. store, so that is where I am off to today. I also plan on making a stop at Office Depot to buy a stapler, because everyone needs a stapler.

Unfortunatly, Felly is also gone today and I have therefore temporarily reverted to my old habits of sitting in front of the computer for hours completely oblivious to the outside world. I do little things like, one more song, one more video, one more journal entry and I will go, so this is my obligatory get off your lazy bum and get moving post.

Adventure Time!

(e:fellyconnelly) has her first day of work today. she is gone and i miss her. so very sad indeed. i don't have class till 4:00 which means I have some time to kill. I do believe i am going to go to Talking Leaves to pick up some books I need for a class and hopefully start reading right away. I also have two books that I am currently reading which I would like to finish sooner rather than later when I am totally swamped with school work that I never want to look at a book again. that would never happen, just kidding.

Well, somehow I survived my very first day as a grad student at UB. It was surprisingly painless and actually rather invigorating. I almost forgot how easily excitable I am when it comes to certain subjects and just the simple act of being in a classroom brings out a certain part of me that is faily impossible to access without actually doing it. One Prof, Alexis De Veaux is like, amazing. I think I am in love. And yes, you might imagine I am one of those students who always falls in love with at least one of my professors each semester. Don't worry Felly, its purely academic.

And I am the luckiest girl ever because I come home to the bestest girlfriend ever who has food waiting for me and even does the dishes.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am taking a class called Black Women in US History, which I am hoping won't be a boring history class (sorry (e:james)) but will rather be exciting and intriguing. We shall see. One more class on Thursday and thats my schedule. Sounds easy for now. Of course when the 20 page papers get closer to being due, I might change my tune.

Oh yes, and I happen to have an (e:strip)per in one of my classes. I don't remember her (e:) name but, Hi Swati!