12/30/08 01:00 - 29ºF - ID#47220
Ninja Cat Very famous video from this year, with Hitchcockian sound added. The cat moves... but doesn't move... sneaky little freak!
Idiot Cat Mistakes Himself for Enemy, Dives Headfirst Into Mirror Self-explanatory.
12/29/08 03:53 - ID#47212
Dangerous American Cities
Based on federal data from calendar year 2007, per 100,000 residents:
Buffalo, NY - Population 273,832 (66th among large US cities)
Violent Crime - 15th (comparable to DC - Chicago didn't report data on violent crime!)
Property Crime - 20th (comparable city of disrepute - Oakland, CA)
Murder/Negligent Manslaughter - 10th (higher than Miami, Chicago, Memphis)
Forcible Rape - 17th
Robbery - 15th (in between Dallas and Chicago)
20th - Aggravated Assault (higher than Chicago, DC)
14th - Burglary
11th - Larceny-theft
32nd - Motor Vehicle Theft (more profitable in better weather)
26th - Arson
Buffalo outranked Boston, Newark, NYC, Chicago, Houston and Los Angeles in every crime category except for the following: Boston (aggravated assault, 13th), Newark (murder and auto theft, both 4th), Houston (auto theft 24th, arson 21st).
That's right - Newark, NJ - regularly considered the armpit of the east and one of the most latently dangerous cities in America, is reported to have 30% less violent crime, 60% less rapes, 25% less robberies, 30% less aggravated assaults, 30% less property crime, almost 3x less burglaries and half the larceny than what we have in Buffalo. Don't worry though - you are "only" twice as likely to get murdered in Newark, and are twice as likely to have your ride "borrowed" for a while. So, in my final estimation, either Buffalo is significantly more dangerous than Newark, NJ and the biggest cities in America (per 100,000) or the stats volunteered by the cities are downplayed to a criminal degree.
Don't forget - as a policy our city doesn't inform its citizens on a regular basis when crimes occur in your area unless they feel like it. And by your area I mean down the block. Cheers! *clink* (and no, the clink might not have been your window being cut by a glass cutter)
Remember all this the next time the city spends your tax dollars on stuff like $50,000 cameras, which have yielded no tangible improvement on your safety, but make you "feel better" depending on the neighborhood you are in. And I'll be the last guy to complain about pay for cops, but in the past year we've had a cop "allegedly" try to defraud our car insurer, and looking at the crime statistics you are DAMN RIGHT that they should be held to scrutiny. If you want to cry about what you're being paid, then you are god damn right that I want to see what it is that you're doing to justify those tears.
Here is the question - based on the crime stats (and stats aren't everything until its you that gets hurt) is the tax money you are shelling out for often grandiose police salaries and benefits worth what it is that you are getting back in terms of public safety? The answer is no. In the end is all proportional but when New York and LA's proportional crime rate is lower than yours in Buffalo, something is wrong and it isn't the way the stats are being tabulated.
12/28/08 02:13 - 64ºF - ID#47203
Here I am, sitting at my father's computer, doing various things I shouldn't while relaying to you my innermost insecurities and most vulgar carnal desires. Well, okay... maybe I'm not relaying to you any insecurities or vulgar thoughts, but I am sitting here at my father's computer writing a paragraph to you that is short on meaning and long on bullshit. So here goes -
We came home for Christmas Eve and had a lovely time, then came back to Buffalo (shopping and cleaning) while (e:jasontheunfuck)inglucky worked for "el hombre." After all that, we came back home to honor a promise to our family to hang out for a bit. Today was mainly errand running for me - I went to the Lakewood Weg three different times, then took (e:grandma) (she has her own screenname now, apparently) to the salon.
Today we once again visited the Southern Tier pub with (e:dad), got some stuff, drank, then went to get some fried food at the Puzzle Lounge. Their wings and fingers are as good as I've had anywhere and I probably shouldn't have been so obviously savoring it while pretty girls were in the house.
On Friday I went to the mall. Whoa... I hate that place. I really dislike shopping there... every time I found something I would wear I thought "Oh wow, isn't that nice, now I can officially look like every other dude in Buffalo." I'm happier at the Army/Navy surplus, I swear. I found a light jacket to wear that would be cool with collared shirt and jeans then thought, "once again, now I can look like every other dude in Buffalo, but only when they try to dress up and hang out on my street." What I really wanted was an indigo colored, long sleeve shirt with epaulets and some pockets and instead I got an dark blue colored designer shirt made of material that felt vaguely like a parachute or a tent. I am easily bored with clothes and dislike shopping because I never am happy with the outcome. The only thing I can pull off spectacularly is a suit and generally I am emblematic of a boho/military/slacker motif centered around jeans, birks (weather appropriate), long sleeve shirts, earth tones, cargo shorts and sunglasses to hide my prying eyes that do pry.
I wonder if Michael Jackson just dresses up weirdly because he's bored like I am.
My dad's friend has a cool little chihuahua named Spooky, who was ironically spooked out at (e:jay) and I. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf and tried to bite me, so I gave him a Beggin' Strip (dad, well prepared) and he was my homie4lyfe thereafter. I stared in his eyes and I think he raised his eyebrow at me, like "fancy a go? Want to square a go mate?"
12/24/08 12:54 - 42ºF - ID#47171
Xmas Eve at Work
Is it better to be a star on a losing team or a backup on a winning team? I like to think that I'm a star whether or not I win or lose - after all, that is what the public school system taught me!
Merry Christmas everybody -
Your friend Josh
12/19/08 10:21 - 24ºF - ID#47108
At Spot there are two men sitting outside on the patio, drinking coffee with coats bundled to the chin. What crazy and hardy people live here... go inside, you fools! How long does coffee stay warm, let alone hot, when it is in a paper cup and the temperature is 20F?
The usual suspects (SUVs, "suburban utility vehicles") are parking illegally in order to avoid the severe aches and pains of walking an extra 20 feet in the middle of a snow storm - not that they have ever needed an excuse.
I can only hear the sound of a shovel scraping against the cement sidewalk in front of Wasabi, the hum of a CPU fan, the slight ringing in my ears, cars slushing by here and there with engines growling spinning their wheels across the white road, Jean talking to someone only she can see, the occasional honking horn. The city is quiet and inactive today.
12/18/08 03:02 - 28ºF - ID#47103
Caroline "Slummin' It Tour" 2008
Lol. The article doesn't do the recordings I've heard justice - the reporters were very, very agitated. A local TV reporter even called into Rush Limbaugh today to talk about it... which I heard while driving to the post office during my lunch break.
"It's a process so I just hope everybody understands this is not a campaign, but I have lived a life committed to public service, wrote a book on the constitution, the importance of independent participation, raised my family committed to education in New York City," Kennedy said.
Well, that's it! Sign her up! She wrote a book and raised kids, you know! You know when I'm mad when I capitalize every other word for emphasis -
No, Princess Caroline, it IS a campaign, which is something YOU need to understand. You have to inspire confidence in the millions of New Yorkers who think your life of privilege, and our state politicians' collective unending greed for campaign fundraising, may just get you a seat you have NO BUSINESS sitting in. I promise you and everyone else reading this that if Governor Paterson selects you, I'll fight tooth and nail to see you put out on your ass in a year. I'll even take the somewhat extreme step of registering as a Democrat and voting against you in the primary. I'll put up campaign signs for your opponents, Republican or Democrat. I'll convince everyone I know that having you in the US Senate is an insult to upstate, to the working class people of New York, to the people who have been IGNORED by people like yourself, with the obvious difference being that these people who earned their stripes who are also candidates weren't appointed but elected.
My grandmother, who voted for your father, will not vote for you. I'll beg my father to not vote for you. By the way, what kind of job are you going to do in a year when you have so little time to actually get elected? Do you simply want to get your foot in the back door, flip New York the bird and get an unearned incumbency? Why is it that you feel the need to shove yourself down New York's throat? Why are you under the mistaken impression, as many American coastal elites do, that New York needs you? The truth is we don't need you - you need the Senate seat to fulfill some kind of instinctual need for power flowing through the same DNA that Ed Koch thinks make you qualified. "Think of the DNA!" - Ed Koch, you Benedict Arnold and supposed man of the people. We need someone who is actually in touch with our problems and has earned their stripes, not some effete caviar eater like yourself, Caroline. Go to hell - you got what you deserved when you came here, and your attempt at a first impression validated numerous fears and presumptions millions of New Yorkers have of you.
Let me ask - now that she's been here, does anybody know the purpose of the visit, which I dubbed the "Slummin' It Tour?" At City Hall last night, you'd think an actual US Senator was visiting - they closed off the circle and adjacent sidestreets, then ultimately allowed nobody to park. It appears to me that she came here simply to be visible, wave her regal hand like the Queen of England, accept accolades, be presumptive, then get back in the waiting car and drive back to her private jet so she can go home and take a shower.
At least Hillary kissed us before she fucked us. If David Paterson selects Princess Caroline I'll never forgive him either, and he's a Demo that had a vote from me etched in stone.
UPDATE - Which may or may not enrage you. Upstate? Caroline gives us the finger. Harlem? Let's have a press op in front of a tourist trap soul food spot! (A word of advice - borrow Hill's True Blue Yankees Fan ball cap)
12/16/08 02:26 - 23ºF - ID#47083
My New Book
Even if you don't agree with the guy you should understand where he's coming from.
EDIT: proof for jho that I do occasionally leave the vest at home - with my friend Nick and his sister Nina -
12/16/08 11:54 - 21ºF - ID#47080
I listened to 2/3 of New Yorkers who called into Bill Press this morning embarrass our state by suggesting that she "deserves it" and trumpeting qualifications such as having her father, uncle and brother die tragically. What a bunch of dunces we must look like to the rest of the country - this voter mentality goes a long way towards explaining the situation our state is in.
Anyway, enjoy the song -
Where did your long hair go
Where is the girl I used to know
How could you lose that happy glow
Oh, Caroline no
Who took that look away
I remember how you used to say
Youd never change, but thats not true
Oh, Caroline you
Break my heart
I want to go and cry
Its so sad to watch a sweet thing die
Oh, Caroline why
Could I ever find in you again
Things that made me love you so much then
Could we ever bring em back once they have gone
Oh, Caroline no
12/05/08 01:27 - 28ºF - ID#46972
Lexington Co-op Deals This Month
Chocolate Bars - Green & Black's Organic Chocolate Bars (2/$5), Chocolove, Endangered Species ($1.99)
Clif Bars - $.99 (about what they charge at Weg)
Imagine Organic Broth - 2/$5 (Weg Culinary stock is probably better, but is slightly more expensive)
R.W. Knudsen Spritzers - $3.99 per six pack
Muir Glen Organic Tomatoes - 3/$4 (I'm sure Weg tomatoes are cheaper, but if you want organic this isn't bad... I like Muir Glen products anyway)
Peace Cereal - $3.49
Nature's Path Organic Waffles - 2/$5
Annie's Homegrown (tee hee) Bunny Crackers - 2/$5
Drew's All Natural Organic Salsa - 2/$5
Drew's All Natural Dressings & Marinades - 2/$5 (this stuff is always obscenely expensive... seems more reasonable to give it a shot this month)
Honest Teas - $.99
Panda Licorice Chews - $1.99
Nancy's Organic Sour Cream - $1.39
Dr. Bronner's Organic Bar Soap - $2.99 (yes, for one bar... but this stuff is usually around $5 per bar and if you like to use castile soap it isn't a bad buy)
Weirdest items on sale this month -
Eco-Dent Toothpowder - $4.49. You've GOT to be a true believer to pay almost $5 for 2 oz. of a hippie dental care product called "toothpowder." To me "toothpowder" is what I make when I chew those huge and ghastly flavored Vitamin C tablets.
Ancient Secrets Nasal Cleansing Pot - $11.99. An item to be seen to be believed. I reckon you could make eucalyptus tea and just hang your nose over the spout rather than buy this strange looking item.
Honorable Mentions - snackish items I'd be willing to try even if the deals aren't too great -
Ling Ling Asian Appetizers - $3.79. I don't think this is the brand I got last time, but the last potstickers I got at the Co-op were pretty good.
Health Is Wealth Munchees - $2.49. The ad shows Spinach Munchees, which look like little spinach and cheese stuffed samosas. May be worth a try.
12/04/08 08:46 - 28ºF - ID#46962
EDIT: Whoa, I'm sorry. After reading this it reminded me of this year's entry from the Internet's 11 worst blogs for "lamest intentionally lame blog" - - The Dullest Blog in the World - I will check myself next time.
Hi. I'm drinking cider. It's great. I need a haircut. Why can't I tell the difference between really dark green and really dark blue? I wonder how Grandma's doing. I can't believe my boss' dog ate the pointy end of the pencil this morning. My cellphone is a technological atrocity. Laundry is my least favorite chore. Nothin' like a tummy full of pancakes, syrup and black coffee, boy. You know old John Muir used to go up to those mountains where we're going with nothing but his old Army coat and a paper bag full of dried bread and he slept in his coat and just soaked the old bread in water when he wanted to eat, and he roamed around like that for months before tramping back to the city.
Ok, so that wasn't quite as dull as the Dullest Blog in the World, but I'd chew off my own fingers before typing out something like "I took the pencil out of the box. Then I set the pencil on my desk. Then I put the pencil back into the box."
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