"Too much information!" written by Jbeatty on estrip.org

10/20/07 01:38 - 58ºF - ID#41726

Too much information!

Everytime I see this informercial I burst into laughter. Seriously who the fuck is buying this?

Oh god it gets better

ladycroft writes at 12:35:06 10/25/07 - Comment #26897: ewe! mag citrate is repulsive. it's so hard to drink it, your mouth goes all watery and you start to gag. however...it IS cheap and it def WILL clean you out! just make sure you plan to stay home for the day ;)

jbeatty writes at 10:13:20 10/21/07 - Comment #26709: "the suspect was fed 50 bananas on doctors advice" What fucking doctor advises any human to consume 50 bananas?

metalpeter writes at 09:28:31 10/21/07 - Comment #26708: That story is insane I think the most I ever eat was close to 5 when I was younger I can't imagine shitting out 50 of them. That brings me to another point what about competitive eaters I can't imagine that after they eat all that food that they have fun taking an hour long dump, but who knows.

tinypliny writes at 12:33:49 10/21/07 - Comment #26707: Believe in bananas. :::link:::

LOL

james writes at 11:39:44 10/20/07 - Comment #26706: Jenks is not a believer?

SHUNE! SHUNE THE NONBELIEVER!

jenks writes at 09:49:39 10/20/07 - Comment #26705: that's.... retarded. Your colon is NOT full of slime and it does not need to be cleaned. But, if you really want to go clean yourself out, go to walgreens a buy a bottle of mag citrate for about 79 cents. That will do the trick.
At least, that is my (western medical) opinion.

paul writes at 07:19:22 10/20/07 - Comment #26703: That advertisement was on every night for so long. It would come on while I was programming and I would be too lazy to find the channel changer or get up. Needless to say I have seen it way to many times.

james writes at 05:51:28 10/20/07 - Comment #26702: Are you two not familiar with the latest health craze? Colon Cleansing?

OMG! It is off the wall crazy!

Basically, your intestines are lined with slime. This slime gets junk stuck in it over the years. These products are a cocktail of herbs and fiber that blasts the shit out of your intestines.

For a month you will discharge unidentifiable black sludge.

This is supposedly very healthy for you. But I just think it is gross.

jbeatty writes at 03:27:31 10/20/07 - Comment #26693: Im not sure, but I think I'm going to stay away from it.

jenks writes at 02:19:24 10/20/07 - Comment #26686: WTF are they selling???!!! Shit enlarging pills so your craps aren't inadequate??!!

james writes at 02:19:08 10/20/07 - Comment #26685: I used to work at the local health food store: Feel-Right (I refuse to spell it how they do). Daily people and I would chat about their bowel movements. I would help them pick out the right herbs, the right fiber, adjust their diets as to clean out their clogged, sewer-like guts.

Sometimes they would come back and describe their stool to me.

Thank god none brought pictures.

Permalink: Too_much_information_.html
Words: 27
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/20/07 03:53 - 62ºF - ID#41722

Making no sense

Tonight somebody who holds slightly no significance in my life told me something that will change their life forever. It's not that I think nothing of this person, its that I don't really know her. She is around my age with similar circumstances. 27-28 years old pursuing a bachelors degree in (whatever)... and bang!, Pregnant! This makes me really think about where I am in my life. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever known, but really what the kicker is not how smart she is, but how charismatic she is. She is one of the most genuine people I have ever met. I am worried sick about what the fuck she is going to do.

The dick who put her in this state is gone. She wants nothing to do with him, and I don't blame her. But how is she going to raise this child by herself?? I think I'm reasonably smart and resourceful, but how the fuck would I handle this? Life comes at you so fast sometimes. She is probably much more capable of raising this child by herself than I give her credit for, but I see how my best friend and his wife (in a stable home) deal with the day-to-day challenges of raising children. How is she going to do this while trying to better herself and get ahead?

Permalink: Making_no_sense.html
Words: 230
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/16/07 11:41 - 56ºF - ID#41681

I love dogs but...

this is getting ridiculous. My upstairs neighbors decided to leave for a few days and left their two dogs by themselves (well some guy comes to feed and walk them a couple times a day). But I am not exaggerating when I say they have been fucking barking almost non-stop for the last three hours. I'm tempted to hit the ceiling with a broom, but I have a feeling it will only make it worse. So much for sleeping tonight.

Permalink: I_love_dogs_but_.html
Words: 80
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/14/07 05:45 - 56ºF - ID#41650

Sunday Dinner

For the past couple of weeks I have been drooling over Rue Franklin's fall menu. It all sounds so delicious, but considering they aren't open on Sunday and I wanted to cook it myself, I decided to make an Autumn French meal. I was going to do a three course, but I thought that sounded a bit extravagant for just me. Plus I didn't really have the time to make an Apple Galette on top of the other two things I was cooking. I took both of the recipes from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook. Which I highly recommend for anyone who likes classic French Bistro cooking with a bit of unrefined commentary from the writer.

For the first course I made a pot of Onion Soup. This recipe includes lots of onions obviously, port, balsamic vinegar, a heart attack inducing amount of butter, slab bacon (which Wegmans does not have freaking have!), bouquet garni, crouton, and a mound of Gruyere. I find any dish that requires me to use a butane torch is all that much more pleasurable to make. I have a really shitty gas broiler in my dwelling and the torch is necessary to get that nice brown on the cheese.

Second course was Coquilles St Jacques. Basically this dish is dry scallops, again a ton of butter (this is French food after all), more heavy cream than a human should consume in one sitting, Fumet, shallots, chives and some champagne.

Both of these dishes are quite simple to make. The hardest part really is getting my crummy equipment to cooperate. It's a real PTA to get that nice brown color on my scallops with a beat up sauté pan and gas range that just doesn't put out the required amount of Btu's for the job.

john writes at 10:47:52 10/28/07 - Comment #27113: I love that cookbook. I haven't made anything out of it in ages, though.

Hmmm... Didn't I make those scallops last Thanksgiving? I'm having a hard time remembering because I was really sick that whole week. That sucked. Hopefully this year will be better. I need to remember to dig out the real cold weather clothes before we fly up...

joshua writes at 12:58:33 10/16/07 - Comment #26357: Damn. I want that cookbook - Bourdain is a hero of mine.

lauren writes at 11:43:26 10/15/07 - Comment #26291: jbeatty who ARE you and why aren't you at MY house on sunday night cooking me dinner!?

imk2 writes at 11:00:30 10/14/07 - Comment #26278: jbeatty, please, pleeeeease invite me over for dinner?????

james writes at 09:34:30 10/14/07 - Comment #26272: calamari rings and okra

tinypliny writes at 07:59:00 10/14/07 - Comment #26269: It looks pretty delicious. You are a true chef. :)

Fake chef that I am, I am sure I would die of guilt eating so much butter. I really envy you, because I often shortchange all my dishes. I bend and hammer recipés so that I can get the butter out. In fact, my kitchen often does not have butter or sugar. In spite of the many exhortations from my mum/dad to cook "true", I wander all along the substitute path and innovate with not-so-great results. But I am good at pretending that all that butter-cutting has resulted in an awesome dinner and ooh and ah over things which have barely a tsp of oil and would taste like crap to normal people. :)

Oh well. Maybe I should change my substituting ways...

jbeatty writes at 07:48:10 10/14/07 - Comment #26267: (e:paul) Thank you! it turned out well.

(e:jim) Sounds like a plan, except for the fact that I live in a shoebox that could only accommodate maybe five people if we crammed in.

(e:james) What does a typical post briss dinner menu consist of?

james writes at 06:48:43 10/14/07 - Comment #26260: Will you cater our dog's briss?

paul writes at 06:27:25 10/14/07 - Comment #26257: Damn, that looks so yummy, fantastico.

jim writes at 05:55:54 10/14/07 - Comment #26252: I think the next (e:strip) dinner will be at your house. You don't mind cooking for 20 people do you?

Permalink: Sunday_Dinner.html
Words: 307
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/13/07 12:49 - 54ºF - ID#41626

Sportsmanlike hockey fight

Whoever said fighting in hockey was unsportsmanlike?

Permalink: Sportsmanlike_hockey_fight.html
Words: 9
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/11/07 04:08 - 58ºF - ID#41601

College makes me laugh

As a whole college students are smart enough to learn and understand advanced concepts in numerous subjects...

Apparently we haven't quite figured out how to use a fucking microwave.

john writes at 10:30:00 10/28/07 - Comment #27111: Everyone has their "duh" moments. I started a fire in the microwave once. I walked down the street in the middle of winter to buy a couple slices of pizza, and instead of doing the intelligent thing and eating them there, I carried them home in the cold and then tossed the bag in the microwave, forgetting that the slices were wrapped in foil. The foil sparked and the bag caught on fire. Luckily I was standing there so I could stop the thing, pull the slices out and stick them on a plate before they burned up.

metalpeter writes at 07:55:19 10/12/07 - Comment #26193: I think the reason that sign is there is cause you allways here that so it kinda sounds like an urban legend. I'm sure people have gone to reheat chinesse food or something with a twist tie and not known it metal and sparks fly everywhere or forget and leave a fork on there plate. If the sign is there then something like that must have happened at least a couple times.

janelle writes at 11:21:52 10/11/07 - Comment #26145: They probably had one too many students learn that lesson the hard way.

lauren writes at 07:31:22 10/11/07 - Comment #26134: But but but...I though microwaves were kinda like duct tape, they can fix anything!

james writes at 06:20:14 10/11/07 - Comment #26131: I love that about college.

1) you study the most useless, academic stuff.

2) you are in an environment with people with no real obligations and no supervision.

a real formula for learning the intimate details of cellular biology while simultaneously getting a meth addiction.

carolinian writes at 05:12:22 10/11/07 - Comment #26125: Nor have they figured out that aluminum is a metal.

ladycroft writes at 04:52:34 10/11/07 - Comment #26124: oh oh oh!!! i just bought a new phone here a few weeks ago. as i was trying to find the page on where to load my sim card, i came across the following warning:

"do not dry phone in microwave"

Permalink: College_makes_me_laugh.html
Words: 30
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/09/07 11:22 - 73ºF - ID#41558

Video Games Live

I just found this today on youtube. It's pretty cool, somebody has orchestrated a bunch of old games and set it to a video. Apparently the Buffalo Philharmonic will be performing it this Sunday

. Selections include Mario Brothers, Zelda, Tron and Final Fantasy. I would like to go but not certain I want to cough up $29 to see it especially since Rollins is tonight, the New Pornographers are next week Pat Metheny Trio is coming to Buffalo in two weeks. Sorry the video is kinda crappy but you get the idea.

Permalink: Video_Games_Live.html
Words: 100
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/07/07 06:55 - 74ºF - ID#41543

The Fruits of Southeat Asia

mangosteens on the left, rambutans on the right

I don't recall what these were called, but I needed lots of water after eating one

One of two Durians I devoured

You can almost smell the goodness

Permalink: The_Fruits_of_Southeat_Asia.html
Words: 44
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/07/07 03:26 - 65ºF - ID#41536

Sunday Afternoon

After yesterday's fungi adventure I had a craving for some mushrooms in my dinner. This morning I found this recipe

from Lidia Bastianich for Bucatini with Chantrelles, Spring Peas, and Prosciutto. I watched her make it a couple years ago on PBS and it looked fantastic. I hit a few obstacles along the way however, apparently Wegmans pasta selection sucks and they don't have Bucatini, so I reluctantly substituted it with Spagettini. Chantrelles are also quite expensive, although not the same price point as Iranian Caviar, but the recipe called for a pound of them and at $20/lb I opted for oyster mushrooms instead. Despite my flagrant butchering of the original recipe it turned out pretty good, although next time I will use regular peas instead of sugar snap peas. I have no idea if this recipe is Tuscan but I had it with a cheap bottle of Chianti and some Tuscan bread. Allegedly this serves 6 people but I would guess more like 8. This was much better than the typical lunches I had this week, which was pretty much just olives, havarti and apple cider.

I love Sundays because I actually have time to cook. It's probably one of the most relaxing things in the world. Taking a couple hours to buy the ingredients and tackle the prep list is therapeutic really. It has to be awesome to be a chef in some great restaurant and have some of the rarest, most delicious ingredients at your disposal. I suppose if this whole school thing at UB doesn't work out I will just move to NY and go to culinary school like I should have 10 years ago.

Permalink: Sunday_Afternoon.html
Words: 287
Location: Buffalo, NY

10/06/07 01:40 - 70ºF - ID#41520

Mushroom Hunting

I went to Delaware Park today to complete a Bio assignment. Actually it was for extra credit, but I could certainly use an extra 10 points averaged into my lab grade. I had to collect different species of Fungi for 1 point each. I found eleven that seemed to be different species, but I suppose I will find out Thursday. It was a pretty nice out when I got there about 11:30am. By the time I left around 1pm, I was soaked head to toe and had dirt halfway up my shins. But I still had fun, it's a nice park but really disappointing to find trash all over the place. It always seems to be shit like empty steel reserve bottles, lottery tickets, and McDonald's bags. I guess it tells you the kind of scum that don't really care to keep the park looking nice. I also found someone's drivers license and state benefit card lying on the ground. I did my good deed for the day and mailed it to him when I got home. I left my return address off though in case he thinks I nicked his wallet.