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Category: humor

03/16/08 07:06 - 31ºF - ID#43686

Tracey Morgan is funny.

Sorry about the commercial, but it is the only way to share the joy of Tracey Morgan obviously reading from cue cards.




"That's where I come in . . ."
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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: funny

03/14/08 07:06 - 43ºF - ID#43672

Five funny commercials


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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: 10 things

03/13/08 04:44 - 39ºF - ID#43653

10 Things I like about the West Side

(The West Side west of Richmond, that is)

1. Guercio's market. Good food, good prices, and friendly, too.

2. Lots of good non-profits: West Side Community Collaborative, PUSH, West Side ministries, MAP, Peace of the City, and a few more. (They organized a housing meeting today that I went to--inspiring this post.)

3. Houses that are cheap, or even free.

4. It is diverse. (That causes problems, too, but I like having lots of cultures around)

5. At least 2 good thrift stores (Salvation Army and New to You)

6. Old houses.

7. Italian restaurants.

8. The bargain hardware store.

9. "Essex corners," with good food, Urban roots, art stuff, good drink, and nice places to live.

10. Good people that care about their neighborhood--all over the place.


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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: religion

03/12/08 11:22 - ID#43634

Prayer battle!!


James told me that if I prayed for him, to my God, he would pray to his gods and rats and Wiccans might show up in my house.

I'm not going to start, so I think we will have peace. But it did remind me of a dramatic prayer showdown from scripture.

For your reading pleasure:

Kings 18:21-40
21 Elijah challenged the people: "How long are you going to sit on the fence? If God is the real God, follow him; if it's Baal, follow him. Make up your minds!" Nobody said a word; nobody made a move. 22 Then Elijah said, "I'm the only prophet of God left in Israel; and there are four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal. 23 Let the Baal prophets bring up two oxen; let them pick one, butcher it, and lay it out on an altar on firewood - but don't ignite it. I'll take the other ox, cut it up, and lay it on the wood. But neither will I light the fire. 2

4 Then you pray to your gods and I'll pray to God. The god who answers with fire will prove to be, in fact, God." All the people agreed: "A good plan - do it!"

25 Elijah told the Baal prophets, "Choose your ox and prepare it. You go first, you're the majority. Then pray to your god, but don't light the fire." 26 So they took the ox he had given them, prepared it for the altar, then prayed to Baal. They prayed all morning long, "O Baal, answer us!" But nothing happened - not so much as a whisper of breeze. Desperate, they jumped and stomped on the altar they had made. 27 By noon, Elijah had started making fun of them, taunting, "Call a little louder - he is a god, after all. Maybe he's off meditating somewhere or other, or maybe he's gotten involved in a project, or maybe he's on vacation. You don't suppose he's overslept, do you, and needs to be waked up?"

28 They prayed louder and louder, cutting themselves with swords and knives - a ritual common to them - until they were covered with blood. 29 This went on until well past noon. They used every religious trick and strategy they knew to make something happen on the altar, but nothing happened - not so much as a whisper, not a flicker of response.

30 Then Elijah told the people, "Enough of that - it's my turn. Gather around." And they gathered. He then put the altar back together for by now it was in ruins. 31 Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes of Jacob, the same Jacob to whom God had said, "From now on your name is Israel." 32 He built the stones into the altar in honor of God. Then Elijah dug a fairly wide trench around the altar. 33 He laid firewood on the altar, cut up the ox, put it on the wood, and said, "Fill four buckets with water and drench both the ox and the firewood." 34 Then he said, "Do it again," and they did it. Then he said, "Do it a third time," 35 and they did it a third time.

The altar was drenched and the trench was filled with water. 36 When it was time for the sacrifice to be offered, Elijah the prophet came up and prayed, "O God, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, make it known right now that you are God in Israel, that I am your servant, and that I'm doing what I'm doing under your orders. 37 Answer me, God; O answer me and reveal to this people that you are God, the true God, and that you are giving these people another chance at repentance."

38 Immediately the fire of God fell and burned up the offering, the wood, the stones, the dirt, and even the water in the trench. 39 All the people saw it happen and fell on their faces in awed worship, exclaiming, "God is the true God! God is the true God!"

40 Elijah told them, "Grab the Baal prophets! Don't let one get away!" They grabbed them. Elijah had them taken down to the Brook Kishon and they massacred the lot.





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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: religion

03/12/08 12:15 - 30ºF - ID#43630

Thanks . . .

to all you question answerers, be they by post, comment, or email. (See previous post)

I guess the one thing that I did learn is that some people don't want to be prayed for. Part of me want to do spiritual vandalism and do so anyway, but I think that's just me being a jerk. (for the record, I haven't done it for those that didn't want it, and I have for those that have).

The other thing is that the church does a lousy job of being what it is supposed to be about. There are so many things that people think of when they here "church," that have so little to do with the message of Jesus.

Also, there have been so many bad inviting experiences. I want the Lafayette people to invite, but I also want to make sure we have our stuff together, so that we don't contribute to more bad experiences.

(It reminds me of a conversation I had with an improv guy that knew he was giving bad shows, but didn't think it would effect his future audience when the group got better? But how many people go back to the restaurant that made them sick?)

Anyway, thanks again--I do appreciate all of you sharing.
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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: religion

03/10/08 10:01 - 25ºF - ID#43608

Questions: my homework

Janelle and I are taking/leading a class about talking to people that don't have faith about faith, and one of the things that the book tells us is that we don't get it. People that go to church, according to the book, don't understand what people that don't go to church think. So the book asked us to interview somebody that doesn't go, so that we could understand somebody else's perspective.

If anybody wants to answer these questions in person, coffee/beer is on me. If anybody wants to answer them on estrip, comment below.

The questions:

1. What pops into your mind when you hear the word "church?"

2. Has anyone ever invited you to their church? What did you think when they asked you? Did you go? How did it feel? If you didn't go, why not?

3. Have you ever had a sense of God or Jesus communicating with you? What was it like?

4. If you had one question you could ask God and knew you would get an answer, what would it be?

5. Would you like prayer for anything?


Thanks in advance! If anybody wants to answer these in person, the best time for me is Wednesday night, after 8 (homework is due Thursday)

If you don't want people reading your responses, sending me an email is fine, too.
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Location: Buffalo, NY


03/10/08 11:22 - 20ºF - ID#43601

Hoops

Anybody around Elmwood that likes to play basketball, can come by my Church (Lafayette Ave Presbyterian--see the link on the right) on Tuesday nights starting at 8pm. We aren't particularly good, so don't let that intimidate you.

The gym isn't all that well heated, so you may want to wear your warm-ups.


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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: politics

03/05/08 12:38 - 25ºF - ID#43561

What if?

About 30 years ago, the parties flipped. Republicans used to like abortion, and Dems did not. If you think about this callously, it makes sense. More poor people have abortions, more poor people vote for Democrats. More abortions = more power for republicans. Democrats were always for "the little guy," and that once included the unborn.

I don't know why Democrats flipped.

The point of this is not to advocate for or against any abortion law. I understand both sides of that argument. I just want to point out one thing:

Many Christian voters, including many in my family, only vote for Republicans because of abortion. The rest of the platform doesn't matter.

For whatever reason, torture and war don't matter, but abortion does.

Once upon a time, the whole Roman Catholic church voted for Democrats.

I wonder, if that "flip" never happened, if the war would have happened? I wonder if Ronald Reagan would have been elected president?

Today, A pro-life democrat may never get the party's nomination, but he or she would walk in the general election. It would be a Reagan-style blow out.
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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: football

03/03/08 01:31 - 55ºF - ID#43538

102 Million over 8 years.



Wow.

Let's pretend that I was given such a contract.

102 Million.

No wait. That's even too much to comprehend. Let me just deal with the signing bonus: 25 Million.

Lets assume half goes to taxes (I would try to avoid this, but I am going to play it safe with each number.)

That leaves me just over 12 million. I would give 10% to the church, (this is not a legalistic thing--just a good idea) so after taxes and giving, that leaves me 10 million dollars.

Half a million would go to paying off student loans and mortgage. Hmm. Never mind the mortgage. I would move. But I wouldn't go crazy--I would probably buy a condo. So lets put aside a million for all for all of that (I am assuming that I stay in Buffalo).

9 Million to Go.

4 Million gets invested, and I budget myself to live off of 5% of the fund each year. I know that I COULD spend more and still make it for life, but my house is already paid for, as is my education, so my $200,000 a year will go pretty far.

$200k allows me to drive a nice car, eat out whenever I want, go to the shows/concerts/games I want to, and get cable. I can probably switch to mac now, too--and get an iphone!

Wow. 5 million to go, and I am already set for life (and this is just the signing bonus, mind you).

Let's designate another million for gifts. I could probably be generous from my budgeted salary, but now Dad gets a new motorcycle, and Mom gets a luxury car and a vacation. (They might not take these things--I think they could buy them if they really wanted them--ditto houses and stuff like that). Janelle's family gets in on it, too. As do my friends. Estrip gets whatever server it needs.

4 million to go.

1 to Wittenberg University, and another to Palmer Seminary.

1 million to opportunity international, one of the better micro-enterprise groups.

1 mil for Janelle to designate. I probably should have consulted with her on all the other stuff, but she gets to live off of the investment returns and all of that anyway.

And this is all imaginary. I don't throw a football that well.

So there it is: what I would do with a quarterback's signing bonus.

(and I still would have another 77 million in salary to deal with, plus what I would make in endorsments)

Wow.

I would hire a maid, too. I hate doing laundry.

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Permalink: 102_Million_over_8_years_.html
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Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: 10 things

03/02/08 09:14 - 24ºF - ID#43527

10 Things I like about u2 in 3D

1. The cast (u2--duh).

2. It's a concert, and just a concert. No interviews, no backstage stuff--just the band onstage and the crowd.

3. The crowd. The film was shot in stadiums, and you constantly feel like you are surrounded by tens of thousands of other fans.

4. The angles. They used a million cameras, placed everywhere. Extra-wide, extra-close, and everything in between.

5. It's in 3D, and pretty realistic 3D at that.

6. The glasses. I like wearing glasses.

7. My company. I went to see the film with new friends and old, estrippers and non-estrippers. And even my dear wife, who doesn't even like u2 that much.

8. The restraint. At first I was a little bit disappointed that they didn't end with "40," but now I am glad they didn't. Some things have to be live.

9. They didn't clean it up too much. Bono wasn't pitch perfect all of the time, but there was no overdub. It's not about being perfect, it's about being real.

10. It felt like I was there. And being at a u2 concert is about as good as it gets.
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Permalink: 10_Things_I_like_about_u2_in_3D.html
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Location: Buffalo, NY


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