Drama girls that participate on this site - you know who you are. I'm declaring a full assault on the utter and complete fucking BULLSHIT spouted on this site.

There has been a contingent on this site that have approached me "offline" to release the hounds and tell some of you hapless females the truth. So - I've decided to do so. I will do so completely uninvited... a few of you are so in need of a straight guy to give it to you double barrels, unfiltered, real and raw, that I can't stand to sit by and watch/read any of this anymore.

Sometimes, you simply need to hear that you should give it up - that he obviously doesn't want you. Sometimes you need to hear that chances are, if he isn't calling back, its because he's seen enough and has no interest in pursuing it further, unless it means he can get some sex from the deal. Sometimes, some of you don't realize that you may have nothing to offer the guy, yet have impossible, unrealistic expectations. Once in a while, you are actually right and the guy is a turd.

You want to know the truth? Ask me before I tell you. There are some ladies reading this right now that may be thinking I'm talking about them, and chances are you are correct - if it is so I'll say it. I want to do this because, for those certain ladies I'm talking about, I think you're incredibly sexy, attractive women that need to be told two things. Firstly, that you're fucking sexy and any guy would be lucky to have you, if they bothered to dig deep enough and can live with any personality conflicts. I think you are hot. Secondly, and this is the hard part, that your attitude needs to change if you don't want to be single or constantly in and out of relationships when you're 40. While I can't guarantee success with relationships, what I can guarantee is that you'll get uncomfortably blunt yet necessary information that will help you along in your quest to find someone relatively permanent. If you don't ask me, chances are I'll volunteer this information anyway as you post puzzling relationship-themed entries in your journal. As you realize that I was right, you'll rue me but secretly admit that you're glad that somebody told you.

You are going to get help, whether you like it or not. The time for wondering and guessing is over. The reason why you struggle is because nobody is telling you what you need to know. Be mad at me if you want, but just know that if I didn't think you were worth the effort I wouldn't bother saying anything at all.

I want to tell a not-so-secret secret right now about the Ho sisters. There is a lot more than meets the eye with these two fine ladies. One is the older sister who tells it to you straight, and the younger sister is the one that nobody realizes has a lot more depth to her than people bother to try to find out about. I thrive on learning what makes people tick. Ladies, what is so wrong about starting out with who you are, rather than who you imagine the guy across the table wants to meet?

I'm tired. WHO'S WITH ME?!

I can't believe this, but a recruiter from Bentonville, Ark. just called our office to talk to me about quitting my job and going to work for a New York-based contractor to "Uncle Wally." Basically what they need is someone who knows their way around Retail Link, which is an in-house, web based utility that allows "Uncle Wally" to talk to its customers.

Straight up, after talking to this guy about my background for a few minutes, he asked me directly what terms it would take to get me to quit my job. He also told me that he would have something lined up that was good enough to make it impossible to ignore.

I know that these people are recruiters and they get paid on their ability to deliver qualified candidates, but I thought it was the damnedest thing that he was calling me directly at my office, while I was working, to get me to quit!

What he doesn't know is that this piece of fruit is ripe for the picking, but why give up that information to a recruiter right away? I prefer to see what he's offering before showing any cards.

In any case, my coworker says that I should at least listen to what he has to say. His company hires people that have had direct experience with Wal-MartcoughcoughcoughUNCLEWALLY, so I figure at the least I'll keep his company in mind when I'm going to jump ship and want to move. The typical position his company hires for have salary ranges between $60k-$140k, and if I can develop a good rapport with the recruiter, even if I don't take this particular job, I'm sure he'll consider me in the future.

A guy that I think is absolutely brilliant, a market savant - Jim Kramer - practically shit his pants on national television last Friday afternoon by going on a belligerent tirade over what he views is the Fed's complacency concerning a potential upcoming major market collapse. See it for yourself here -



Its obvious that this guy thinks that we are in for some major league economic trouble, and his solution is for the Fed to cut rates. Some people are put off by Kramer because of his rough around the edges approach to his show, but keep in mind that this guy has been in the market for 25 years and personally managed hundreds of millions of dollars for Goldman Sachs. If he wasn't such an insider I wouldn't be alarmed.

On a whim I decided to drive by Guercio's this morning to see if it was open.

I'm not terribly proud to admit this, but I've lived in Buffalo since the summer of 1996 and I've never been to Guercio's. I know the place by reputation, yet still after checking it out for the first time I was astounded. Really and truly, we have a first class local market... I don't have enough superlatives to accurately describe the place. I suppose the most succinct way for me to put it is that after seeing it first hand, it was plainly obvious to me why the local high end restaurants swear by the place.

Fruits and produce - first class. They have certain things that you'll never find in a supermarket, and in exceptional condition. The things that really stood out to me were some of the hard to find fruits, the pepper selection, the cheeses, the prepackaged nuts and such that you could make trail mix from... and cheap, too. I felt like I stepped back 20 years to the markets that you used to see that have been gobbled up by places like Wegman's. Isn't it ironic that now Weg is being undercut by Wal-Mart? Its like a capitalistic circle of life where the smaller fish are always being eaten up by the bigger fish.

In any case, I'll be going back many, many times. And its actually more convenient for me to go there rather than Wegman's. Granted, there are some things that are missing that I'll still be making trips to the Co-op and such for, but for once its good to know that there are still local, highest possible quality places that charge fair prices and have no fear of survival. After leaving Guercio's (and after grabbing one of those $2 personal pizzas, couldn't leave without one) I felt proud that our city has something like this available to us.

I know that we have some newer residents that have been journaling on the strip... if you haven't yet made it to Guercio's and you need tomatoes, or plan on making fruit salad, or need some good cheese for that pasta, making a dessert, or are simply in need of some basics - or if you want $5 free trade olive oil like (e:paul) mentioned - make an excuse and go check it out. You will not be disappointed, I promise. My only bit of fair warning that I'd dish out is that this morning parking was ATROCIOUS down there. I lucked out so hard by getting a spot directly in front of the store. It was incredibly busy this morning and I can only assume that its always that way. So - be prepared for a hard time parking. Regardless, its still worth the trip. Its on Grant St. between Lafayette and Delevan.

Here is our sad candy bowl at our front desk -



This is where I harass y'all from during the weekdays - and yes I tend to work with the natural light only.



Cheers mateys -

Joshy Wishy Washy

It really is that simple - if you read celeb magazines you are rotting your brain and are partially responsible for the death of Princess Diana, IMO. Quite literally, paparazzi and the photos that are the fuel for this lower rung on our social ladder are the death of people sometimes.

Yahoo has a celeb site called, hilariously enough, OMG! - omg.yahoo.com. Not that I'm advertising it or anything - you know better coming from me. The implication is that by reading this tripe you are attempting to live vicariously through these celebrities, or perhaps to simply trash the celebs out of jealousy or other petty bullshit. Or perhaps to get fashion tips. Here's a tip for you - oversized sunglasses are fucking ugly on chicks - don't wear them. We are suspicious that you are covering your face for, sadly, a good reason. Stop perpetuating this utterly sad reality... make friends, go get laid, have your own story for crying out loud. Its not that fucking hard!

Anyway, lets have some fun, shall we?

OMG! Here is Courtney Love, looking like a bag lady and bumming a light from, ironically enough, a paparazzo. Not that Courtney Love has *ever* looked like anything but a bag lady.



OMG! Its Justin Timberlake and he's about to pump his own gas!



OMG! Its Britney Spears and, like omg, isn't she so fat?



OMG! Its David Beckham, the single most recognizable face on earth, unless you live under a rock, waiting in line at a coffee shop! You mean to say that he doesn't have some lackey run in for his latte? Oh, and isn't he like, omg, steaming hot? (Tee Hee, forgive the atrocious coffee pun, but it fit in with the absurd nature of these photographs)



No wonder people stereotype Americans as bubbleheads, full of our own shit and know nothing (nor care much) about the world. Given the popularity of this kind of cultural dookie, how could we defend ourselves from such a comment?

Whats this - you didn't realize that there were a plethora of polls and debates going on for the presidential election next year? Don't worry - a vast majority of the nation is still asleep on this fact as well. I'm not particularly sure why polls and debates started so early this time around, and to be honest I don't really care. Ultimately, since this has been going on for months now, NONE of what has been going on politically has been compelling on any meaningful level. Democrats have been at this for several months, and nothing has changed. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have raised millions of dollars and in fact Democrats have outraised Republicans to the tune of $100 million - this to me is staggering and reflects the fact that a) Democrats are very committed to winning in '08, and b) Republicans are completely uninterested in the short list of candidates they are left with. Republicans have been left wanting - largely the party faithful has shown lukewarm interest in the candidates presented to them. I think the guy will be Fred Thompson and you'll see a massive numbers spike in polls and donations received.

A couple days ago CNN hosted a Democratic Party debate with the assistance of YouTube, which I think is an interesting spin on how to take questions. The cynical side of me cannot ignore that in the end these debates always end up the same - the questions are filtered, the candidates won't answer questions directly and as a result nobody learns anything new about the candidates that would help voters make a decision. I'm going to illustrate to you why these debates are useless regardless of the method of asking the question. Watch -



This is a textbook example of what I hate about politicians. When she is asked about the definition of liberal the first few words out of her mouth are straight up, unfiltered bullshit, like taking 3 warm shots of Crown Royal with no chaser. Mrs. Clinton is definitely not alone - all politicians do this regardless of party and I could have easily used a different example. What the fuck is she talking about - "liberal" used to mean the opposite of big government and individual freedom? Did she even think through what she was saying or does she actually believe that liberals used to be more like Republicans? In other words, she answered the question but in doing so used flowery and meaningless language. Following that, some guy with no chance in hell of winning takes a pot shot at Barack Obama, and Obama responds in kind.

I have to ask again - how does any of this help voters make a better decision about who to pick? How relevant of a question was this to ask anyway? This is probably the most important presidential election of the past 35-40 years and this is the type of question that CNN chose to ask the candidates? Another question that boggled my mind - are African Americans going to receive reparations for slavery? First of all, the answer to that question is obvious - no. Secondly, this sort of question is by no means representative of the most important issues of the day. By the way, it was noted that not ONE question regarding how to handle illegal immigration passed through CNN's filter. When the questions are atrocious and the answers are even worse, who cares how "innovative" the questions are delivered? Again, its because these debates are ultimately meaningless. What about asking Democratic candidates about the ramifications of pulling out of Iraq ASAP, something the influential activists and liberals everywhere are begging for? None of the Democrats will actually answer that question.

It is intriguing to me that in passing recently Mr. Edwards suggested cornering out the weaker opposition to Mrs. Clinton. Hey John, YOU are the weaker opposition. Mr. Edwards' main topic is poverty, aka the class divide known as "the two Americas" that most observers are very familiar with, since it was the exact same topic that lost him the nomination in '04. The problems Edwards faces are twofold - a) he's a fabulously rich guy talking about poverty, and b) his own vanity, which was best captured in the following video -

• in my best blatantly gay voice* - Just tease it a little, tease it!

Stuff like this is incredibly damaging to a politicians prospects. Coupled with the news about how much his haircuts cost, he has absolutely no credibility with the people he is trying to woo for votes. Granted, although rich people are completely oblivious to the needs of the poor, I don't think it should preclude them from shining a light on the issue. RFK and FDR are two examples of rich guys that had credibility with the poor. Unfortunately, John Edwards is no RFK or FDR. To his credit, as a wealthy liberal that lives an astoundingly wasteful lifestyle, he isn't preaching to us about lifestyle changes to curb global warming.

At the moment, Democratic politics are dominated by a cult of personality, obsession with polling results and the desire to see Bush out office, none of which make compelling reasons to vote for a candidate. At the moment, and I can't believe I'm saying this, the only Democrat making any sense at all is actually Joe Biden, one of the most entrenched blowhard Washington insiders in the Senate. Granted, all politicans are basically the same, but Biden, in my view, is the straightest talker and the most level headed. A few years ago Biden suggested what in essence would be a "United States of Iraq" with subregions created based on ethnicity. How badly he was poo-pooed at the time - as time passes by he is looking wiser and wiser.

Get involved - voter apathy, in my opinion anyway, is a mockery of a basic freedom that many in the world don't individually hold. Go get information on the candidates by checking out their web sites, reading their ideas, finding out how they vote on issues that are important to you. Just don't expect to learn much from debates until the nominees are chosen.

Here is a picture of me - complete with as close to aviators as the Simpson character generator gets.



Pale emo guy -



A couple goofy looking guys -





And my interpretation of Hillary Clinton!

Seriously - it can't get any better than this.





A puppy born with a patch of fur in the shape of a heart! This little fella is a baby chihuahua from northern Japan.