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joshua’s journal

Why Celeb Media SUCKS....

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It really is that simple - if you read celeb magazines you are rotting your brain and are partially responsible for the death of Princess Diana, IMO. Quite literally, paparazzi and the photos that are the fuel for this lower rung on our social ladder are the death of people sometimes.

Yahoo has a celeb site called, hilariously enough, OMG! - omg.yahoo.com. Not that I'm advertising it or anything - you know better coming from me. The implication is that by reading this tripe you are attempting to live vicariously through these celebrities, or perhaps to simply trash the celebs out of jealousy or other petty bullshit. Or perhaps to get fashion tips. Here's a tip for you - oversized sunglasses are fucking ugly on chicks - don't wear them. We are suspicious that you are covering your face for, sadly, a good reason. Stop perpetuating this utterly sad reality... make friends, go get laid, have your own story for crying out loud. Its not that fucking hard!

Anyway, lets have some fun, shall we?

OMG! Here is Courtney Love, looking like a bag lady and bumming a light from, ironically enough, a paparazzo. Not that Courtney Love has *ever* looked like anything but a bag lady.

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OMG! Its Justin Timberlake and he's about to pump his own gas!

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OMG! Its Britney Spears and, like omg, isn't she so fat?

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OMG! Its David Beckham, the single most recognizable face on earth, unless you live under a rock, waiting in line at a coffee shop! You mean to say that he doesn't have some lackey run in for his latte? Oh, and isn't he like, omg, steaming hot? (Tee Hee, forgive the atrocious coffee pun, but it fit in with the absurd nature of these photographs)

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No wonder people stereotype Americans as bubbleheads, full of our own shit and know nothing (nor care much) about the world. Given the popularity of this kind of cultural dookie, how could we defend ourselves from such a comment?
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💬 7 comments

  1. mrmike ·

    we can't

  2. jenks ·

    oh god, those magazines are the worst. yeah I'll read them on the plane for a laugh once in a while, but I'm with you. My "favorite" is the 'OMG! Stars are just like US!" sections, where they have pix like "See! Lindsay Lohan drives a car too! She's just like us!" "See! David Beckham drinks coffee!" "OMG! Ben Affleck walks his dog too!" "WOW! heroin-chic skank courtney love bums lights TOO! She's JUST LIKE you!"

    UGH.

  3. hodown ·

    Yeah it seems as of late those mags just keep getting worse and worse. I admit to being sucked in at times, but honestly in an average store I find about zero magazines that I'm actually interested in reading.

  4. james ·

    Though we live in a OMG-culture, our paparazzi isn't half as bad as the British. Holy cow! Their celeb rags recently had pictures from Prince Charles' colonoscopy.

    It is sad that America chooses such dull figures to live vicariously. If only we could emulate the likes of Louis Pasture and play with dangerous spores for giggles.

  5. joshua ·

    I understand getting sucked in to that kind of thing, particularly if you are traveling and need a laugh. Personally when I was flying all over I must have dumped hundreds of dollars on whatever the local newspaper was (except the NYT - Post all the way, which sadly is a tabloid), Spin Magazine, Weekly Standard, Newsweek, Time - you get the picture.

    I guess for me the issue is what the entire celebrity news business represents.... which is a sad, extraordinarily petty and dark element of our society. Keep in mind, I don't feel bad for these celebrities. If you want to abuse the media for your benefit you can't complain when they act like vultures, but honestly if you have 47 paparazzi following you wherever you go (with reportedly is true for Beckham) I think thats something that even the biggest celebs shouldn't have to deal with. That is obviously abusive and industry driven.

  6. ladycroft ·

    no paparazzi = no celebrities. neither can exist without the other. obsessive fans getting a grip on reality would help curb the insanity, but we know that's never going to happen.

  7. metalpeter ·

    First of all I do agree that the paparazzi did have an effect and at least contributed and maybe caused the death of Diana. As @ladycroft said they both do need each other. However I disagree that the famous need the photographers. Entertainers have enough outlets to promote there stuff there are lots of entertainment shows and Magazines that only publish things that are ok'd or matter of opinion. What the gossip rags do is put up pictures and stories both true and false that the famous people don't want out cause they have no way of spinning it. I also do think that you should have some privacy when you are out in public and you shouldn't be harassed and followed. There are these things called zoom lenses. That being said celebs who are allways followed are also never robed. I think being followed should effect what you do and it may. For example if people Followed Vick around he couldn't dog fight and wouldn't be in trouble now. Oh yeah nice melons on brit by the way.

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