Happy birthday to the new daughter one of my best friends and his wife just gave life to!



Emma Rose Sanfilippo - what a cutie!

Taking the piss is what I am best at - but seriously.

Good day people!

Lonely feeling deep inside
Find a corner where I can hide
Silent footsteps crowding me
Sudden darkness but I can see

No sugar tonight in my coffee
No sugar tonight in my tea
No sugar to stand beside me
No sugar to run with me

(Dat'n-doo-dow-dow-dat'n-doo-dow...)

In the silence of her mind
Quiet movements where I can find
Grabbing for me with her eyes
Now I'm falling from her skies

No sugar tonight in my coffee
No sugar tonight in my tea
No sugar to stand beside me
No sugar to run with me


OR MAYBE THIS SONG!


There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side

It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

The rooster in the henhouse, the vodka in the punch, the coke in the booger, Mr. Al Franken, is running for United States Senate in the state of Minnesota. Now Air America has lost its biggest draw in an otherwise bankrupt, unethical, completely shabby and mismanaged experiment.

Sam Seder - now is the time, brother! As you know, Sam, it doesn't take a great deal of effort to outshine Randi Rhodes and now that the "big dog" has been euthanized the doors have swung open! Not only have the doors swung open, my friend in liberalhood, but the doors have been practically been - *snicker* - UNHINGED! You can definitely do this - and in a cruel ironic twist, if you play your cards right my man, you can get the "Wal-Mart" rollback on the price of the station very, very soon. Sam Seder Radio Network - think of it!

I say D.O.A. obviously because he doesn't have a burning chance in hell of actually being elected. Not only does he not represent in any way, shape or form the political landscape of his 'home state' (he's spent 90% of his life in either Hollywood or Manhattan) but he has absolutely no traits that are required of an effective politician. Make no mistake - this is a vanity project.

I can't help but wonder what was on his mind when he decided to run, and one part of me would absolutely love to watch a characteristic Franken implosion live on C-SPAN. Further, I think it would be interesting to see Al Franken get gangbanged and checked by the Italian Grandmother From Hell, Mrs. Pelosi when he inevitably would drool out the following -

"GODDAMMIT - they aren't yelling at the Republicans enough!"

"BUSH LIED 4 REAL - and the Democrats refuse to impeach!"

"We need to cut the funding - NOW!"

"Rush Limbaugh is successful and I am not - therefore we need to enact legislation that would FORCE an otherwise unwilling radio audience to listen to unpopular, unmarketable content that was a proven failure when I tried it!"

Prepare for the next election cycle to get incredibly amusing, and not because they will be laughing WITH Mr. Franken. Minnesota is known for Jesse "The Mind" Ventura's escapades, but I assure you, friends, he'll never be a Senator.

You all know how I abhor Valentine's Day, but yesterday while working I was inspired to write some things decribing love in various ways.

So, I'll share with you the haikus I wrote as well as a poem while I was "working" yesterday.

A note - haikus are traditionally 5/7/5 format but modern rules are essentially very loose. For fun I used 4/5/4, 5/6/5 and 7/7/7 - as I said in my MySpace blog, 7 is a lucky number and I need all the luck I can get!

For those of you who are in love and will hopefully do right by your lovers today - enjoy your day. To the rest of us who aren't attached - remember that love gives us the greatest human experiences... the highest highs, the lowest lows, hope and optimism. So for my sentimental side, and for those who I loved and who loved me, and for those who feel lonely on days like this - here are my thoughts.

The last haiku is my dedication to the brunettes out there - I have never dated a blonde, so to all the brunettes who have been charitable enough to like me more than blondes do - I love you!

Through My Eyes

only this thing
can make still waters
and dry the sea

as the water sings
hope eternally springs -
love is not yet lost

earthbound oceans of starlight
sunbeams on dark hair shimmer
water for a dying world

A Simple Answer

What makes the walking gaze
a breath that moves away
the wintry, anchored haze?

What gives and takes away
from souls and saintly dreams
as sunset steals the day?

What sweeps the sullen earth
and casts all fears aside
to show what life is worth?

Stay warm!

- Josh

Boss Gambles While Being Oblivious To The Needs Of His Company

I absolutely fucking hate it that my boss is asking me for something while he is on vacation in Las Vegas.... THAT I FUCKING SENT TO HIM LAST THURSDAY. Since he apparently didn't see that, then I can safely assume that he didn't read the series of questions I had asked him pertaining to the same project... which he is now asking me about from a casino somewhere.

What kind of business person can get away with this level of incompetance?

His response? "I'll call you in an hour." Thanks for paying attention to your employees' correspondance only as long as it has something to do with money!!! HOPE THAT GAMBLING AWAY OF THOUSANDS GOES WELL THIS WEEK!!!

I can't say that I've dealt with this too much since I am usually as demanding on my superiors as they are with me, but this is ridiculous. If an employee is asking you questions about a project that a client is wondering asking about, then its probably wise for you to make sure that you are paying attention to the employee that is assigned with the task. Its inexcusable that he didn't realize that I was asking him about this very same issue several days ago.

Love Universal

In a slightly schizophrenic but sincere note I wanted to bring attention to a fantastic and inspirational story of non-Valentine's Day related love - - the power of a father's love for his child truly can know no bounds. I admire people who don't take the easy road, and I couldn't possibly articulate the amount of respect I have for this particular father.

Bucking Fabricated Holidays

I agree with (e:vincent) - we need a holiday that celebrates relationships of drama-free convenience. By this I clearly mean "friends with benefits" arrangements, or at the very least, friendships with (in my case, anyway) members of the opposite sex that are mutually beneficial and do not routinely end in dramafests. The only female that I've ever had such an arrangement with left Buffalo. It was not the "friends with benefits" kind of thing, but if it ever did slip in that direction it would have been solely out of sheer boredom. The bottom line is this - if I'm even remotely attracted to a girl, having a traditional friendship is just about impossible and so I maintain plenty of distance. For me its rare to have normal friendly, drama-free relations with members of the opposite sex partially because of my own idiosyncracies, but also because I simply believe that its a rarity. So why not celebrate such a rarity instead of a ginned up corporate holiday?

So, for the single ladies out there -



I drew you grassy, rolling hills with a box of chocolates, a credit card, a rose, seagulls, a smiling sun and a nice blue sky!

Seeing as flipping off "the man" and being non-conformist is hip again, I refuse to fill out this MySpace style bulletin question line. I would like to say that I used to use the picture booth at Frizzy's and get pictures with each and every girl I dated at the time. After I realized that this was horrible and assholish I stopped, but now I really want to go back and just get pictures of myself sans arm candy before I have to cut my hair.

When I was spellchecking the word "philanderer" I realized that www.philanderer.com is a site for married people who want extramarital affairs. This is what makes me incandescent with rage (thanks european football writers! mmm flowery language)... some straight people actually suggest that allowing gay people to marry (or have a civil union) ruins the sanctity of marriage. Sorry, I think straight people are fucking it up just fine all by ourselves. Here is some cynicism for you - are the people behind www.philanderer.com gay or straight? Straight, of course. This is not as if there is some nefarious gay cabal pulling the strings behind www.philanderer.com in order to ruin the holiest of marital holies. Its so damn ridiculous and upsetting - the next time I see or hear of an amendment to "protect marriage" I'm going to fucking snap. I don't recall any outrage when Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd were busy making a waitress sandwich a few years ago. In fairness to Uncle Ted and Mr. Dodd though, Ted's wife was probably drunk somewhere and we aren't seeing either men try to write bigotry and sexual persecution into law either. The hypocrisy needs to stop; we should simply accept people for who they are. For me, sites like the philanderer site illustrate exactly why some of these judgmental, hypocritical, sadomasochist assholes should police their own before EVER attempting to bother gay people.

I am travelling for the first time in 4 months tomorrow, but only for one day. We're going to Toronto to visit a facility that makes "bodywear" - if this is Canadian for "clothes" I'll let you guys know tomorrow. The odds are high that I won't be able to privately interview workers to see if they have any problems - most factory workers in Canada are of Middle Eastern/Eastern European/Asian descent. Is there anybody around that can give me a crash course in Punjabi?

Your "RINO" for life,
Josh

I'm so sorry about delaying the latest beer review - in all honesty, (e:jason) and I procured the beer we wanted to review but ended up getting drunk off of it - and you'll understand why in a minute. As a result I didn't want to write a review of a beer that could be based on cloudy, inaccurate judgment - that wouldn't be honest. So, after repeated quaffings, here you are!

We wanted to highlight a local brewery which I think is absolutely
fantastic, with some exceptions depending on the variety. For example, they make a Tripel that I really, really dislike. However, I wanted to take two of their Imperials to highlight how quality brewing can mask alcohol content and bitterness, and ultimately makes for deceivingly drinkable beer. To illustrate this, and to get you lords and ladies drunk, we've selected two different styles - the Heavy Weizen and the Unearthly Imperial India Pale Ale.

About the brewery - the brewery is located in a small manufacturing space in the town of Lakewood, NY - about 3 miles from my childhood home in Jamestown. The people that run this outfit are very laid back and hippie-ish - the brewery actually has a small pub in it so Jay and I always make a point to stop by and have a few pints... and usually fill up a growler with their fabulous Porter. God I love that beer - it makes most other porters (to my palette anyway) taste watered down. They are very friendly and tours are available - having toured the Anheuser-Busch brewery in St. Louis I think this is a great way to kill an afternoon and learn a little bit about America's favorite drink. Their web site - - gives you a feel about the hip artistic design of the bottles and all the information you'd ever want about the beers themselves.

Before anybody accuses me of homerism - if the beer sucked I'd just come right out and say it. Their beer definitely doesn't suck and at worst it's better than most commercially produced "specialty" beers. Some of their varieties are better than others, and I've tried every single one, so if you have a question about a specific variety of Southern Tier just leave a comment or ask me if you catch me on the street!

Southern Tier Heavy Weizen - Imperial Unfiltered Wheat Ale

8.0% ABV, 38 IBUs - available most places locally in 22 oz. bottles, or if you can find it, it is available on tap as well. I know that as of last
week Heavy Weizen was on tap at Cole's, so if you are out and about you may see it.

This beer is a variation on the traditional hefeweizen (hefeweiss, weissbier, wheat beer, sometimes white beer) that you'll find from brands such as Paulaner, Hacker-Pschorr, Franziskaner and the like. Its a traditional German variety that has a flavor derived from the special top-fermenting yeast that lends its distinct flavor. Two traditional flavors that people associate with hefeweizen are banana and clove, although many beers brewed in this style
have a citrus tone as well. To call a beer a "hefeweizen" is to assume that the beer has remained unfiltered - this leaves the body of the beer cloudy and when poured into a proper glass reveals a unique look. Americans traditionally love to put citrus in this style of beer, although purists absolutely hate this idea and feels it takes away from the head and the citrus tone inherent in the brew. I have a tight-assed compromise explanation on what is proper here, but I will save it for last.

Putting it simply, Heavy Weizen slots somewhere between Blue Moon and a traditional hefeweizen. I compare it to Blue Moon, but Blue Moon is a Belgian-style wheat ale and rather than a German hefeweizen. They are both wheat beers but I promise that if you taste both side by side you'll understand that Hefeweizens are usually a tad sharper in flavor, have more carbonation and have a more consistent golden color.

When you look at Heavy Weizen, it has a dense, hazy golden color with a slight reddish/orangish hue to the center of the glass. If you smell the beer before you sip it, you'll notice a spicy side to the beer that lends itself more towards the Blue Moon side of things. Heavy Weizen reveals more of the hefe side of things as you drink and get into the glass. Bananas, cloves, wheat, yeast and less acidic citrus dominate the muted but very well established flavor combination - this is a very easy to drink beer. Wheat beers in the German style are well known for their refreshing quality in the summertime; in this beer you have that same quality but to a lesser extent. Mid level carbonation, slight spiciness, twice the alcohol content and general mouth feel of the beer make it less so. Despite the alcohol content, there is only a slight boozy quality to the brew; the cleverly balanced flavors and heavier mouth feel (relative to hefeweizen, that is) match up well and only towards the aftertaste to you notice a deceivingly slight kick.

I like to balance controversial posts with relatively innocuous ones, so here we are.

I know that I said I was going to go wild like a lumberjack but unfortunately I hate how my beard is shaping up, so I'm very tempted to shave it. I'd take a picture but I broke Jason's camera and have yet to replace it. At least my lumberjack hair is still going well - I told my grandmother what I was doing and she almost teared up right on the phone. I said, "Don't worry grandma - if it looks bad I'll cut it, but if I let it grow out and it looks good you'll like it!"

All of this talk about iPod deaths is really scaring me. Seriously... if I lost my iPod I would just about die. Its amazing how companies can essentially create a need for something that people will eventually not want to let go. If I lost my iPod and were broke, I'd seriously eat rice and beans for a month if it meant that I could replace my iPod.

What do people put on their iPods? For me its about 16GB of music and podcasts. I generally subscribe to the following podcasts - Chelsea FC, The Beautiful Game, From Our Own Correspondant (BBC), 606 (BBC), This American Life (Chicago Public Radio, very highly rated and the way they tell stories is intriguing), Left, Right and Center (KCRW Santa Monica, one of the better political debate shows), Meet the Press, some kind of Buddhist podcast and a cast about the rulers of the Byzantine Empire. I feel like I'm forgetting some, but I am definitely a podcast enthusiast. If anybody knows some good ones let me know!

The title of this journal entry may be confusing to some, since I actually haven't mentioned my father yet, but the phrase is a bit of an inside joke between my brother and I. Dad absolutely hates getting his picture taken.

Nevertheless, my dad is the coolest mofo alive - at least in my eyes. Here is what happens when you mix my father and a Mac at his friends house. Here he is, the Big Kahuna, the hardcore liberal, El Rey, El Matador -



As far as I'm concerned this is the greatest picture of him in existence, possibly with the runner up being -



Dad is a fairly indimidating guy, which unfortunately casts a shadow on his very keen but very dry sense of humor. He insists he's funny, and if you disagree he'll roll you up, light up and smoke you!

In other news of the type that I never really talk about -

Thomas Pynchon, an author who some of you may be familiar with through novels such as The Crying of Lot 49, has released a new novel titled Against The Day. It is nearly 1,100 pages long and supposedly sports around 100 characters. Anybody for winter reading with a flowchart and many annotations? Haha.

I do my best to keep the cynical side of me at bay, but reading some of the reviews of the book just killed me.

Example 1: Thanks to the army of Pynchonites who maintain the "Against the Day" wiki on wikipedia the reader has a wealth of information and reviews available to help in gauging and appreciating this book. However, and I doubt whether this is any coincidence, Pynchon has written the kind of book that leaves every reader out there alone in the middle of the desert, ocean, or sky to make up her or his own mind.

Darn those books that leave you hanging and force you to think!

Example 2: I can't give this book five stars. It does seem that the author has taken on too much, at least for my Updike-trained sensibilities.

What a fucking literary nerd thing to say - I sincerely dislike these kinds of people. Lets name drop another author to make myself look well read - after all, you know, if you think this book is difficult you CLEARLY should have tried Joyce's Finnegan's Wake! I can't help myself guys, these sort of people kill me.

In all seriousness, I look at my bookshelf every day and feel as if I've been ignoring it. I stopped reading Brian Greene's The Fabric of the Cosmos about a third of the way through and essentially I have stopped reading any books since then. I recently got some unsolicited mail from a conservative book club but I have no inclination to read 90% of it - for somebody that is supposedly a neocon sympathizer I have a very low tolerance for Ann Coulter, or for that matter David Corn on the other side. In other words, I'm on a search for something new, maybe something that isn't to pretentious that has won an NBA or a Nobel. Hard task, that.

Speaking of the neocon thing, I recently heard of some kind of "neocon meter" where you can take a test and be evaluated on how much of a neocon you are. I'm a little curious so if I can find the test I'll link it - I wonder exactly how far into the negative some people might be.

EDIT: I took the test here - - the page is extremely jacked up and the programmers will hate it.

Here are my results - apparently I'm not a neocon but in truth two of the questions didn't really suit me - my likely answer would have been a combination of a couple of the answers.

Realist
Realists…

• Are guided more by practical considerations than ideological vision
  
• Believe US power is crucial to successful diplomacy - and vice versa
  
• Don't want US policy options unduly limited by world opinion or ethical considerations
  
• Believe strong alliances are important to US interests
  
• Weigh the political costs of foreign action
  
• Believe foreign intervention must be dictated by compelling national interest

Historical realist: President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Modern realist: Secretary of State Colin Powell

Before I get into the subject matter - Barbaro is off to the glue factory. Apparently they euthanized him today.

Yep - a 12-year old in Germany got a sex change. The only thing preventing him/her from getting the phallus removed is that by law one must be 18 years of age to undergo the procedure.

There are a number of disturbing elements to this story, none of which involve the complicated psychological issues that this young fella has had growing up.

So then, (e:josh), what is bothering you about this topic?

1. This is being paid for by taxpayers through their national health service because "the condition qualifies as an illness." If this is true, then why does the doctor who is treating the teenager state that the patient is not suffering from an illness? At best, the science at hand has no answer to this question because countries such as Germany are so consumed by political correctness that they are frozen from debate. Regardless, this is something that taxpayers should never have to foot the bill for.

2. To undergo such a thing, two independent psychiatrists have to "confirm that the child is indeed transsexual" before approving a sex change. By what method could anybody realistically prove such a thing? At some point science and medicine is getting thrown out the window in exchange for sociopolitical dogma.

3. Doctors simultaneously claim that treatment should be pursued as soon as possible in cases such as Tim/Kim (the patients names), yet they also admit that the long-term ramifications of such therapy on a 12-year old is not well understood. This qualifies as medicine in Europe?

4. 12-year olds lack the maturity and sophistication to make decisions on a multitude of things, the least of which are more sobering and final than a sex change. How on earth could doctors have allowed such a thing to occur, particularly with a pre-pubescent? This constitutes an egregious failure on the part of the doctors. What was the reasoning behind the doctors insistence on pursuing a sex change? That to let the patient reach puberty in his state would permanently damage his personality. Excuse me while I smoke enough dope to trick myself into believing such rubbish.

I'm generally a "live and let live" kind of guy - I'm not particularly interested in the sexual diversity of the world outside of the thought that people should be allowed to pursue whatever they like. 12-year olds getting sex changes, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.

I have some things that I wanted to say to you guys, and I didn't want to create a post that was twice the length of my usually very long journal entries.

I would apologize for the length of my journals but I'm not sorry!

Music

For fun the other night I checked out New World Record on the web to see what their staff picks have been. I know, incredibly lazy considering that literally could spit on NWR from my porch, but hey - leave me alone. Anyway, after sampling dozens of albums I came away with a half dozen that I thought would suit me. One of the bands that did not come from a NWR recommendation is called Stars of Track and Field - I know I've mentioned them in my journal before. If you like (or love!) The Postal Service then I would highly, highly recommend this band. You can enjoy Centuries Before Love and War for the time being until The Postal Service releases their new album, which is due out this year.

Passports

Do it now if you don't have a passport. If my some miracle you don't already know, the Depts. of State and Homeland Security have implemented new rules for air travel if you are entering the United States from anywhere in the western hemisphere. Canadian citizens - this is true for you as well so be prepared. You can read more about it here -

What is particularly relevent are the requirements that will be implemented next year - if you want to cross the border and return you will be REQUIRED to have a passport. While this isn't finalized yet, you don't want to be the guy or gal that waits last minute and gets royally shafted. I've gone through this process before, and for those of you who are a little unsure about what to do or are intimidated by the process, here is what you do -

1) Get informed - - this site will detail any and all questions about what you need.
2) Complete the application either by traditional methods or by using the Dept. of State online form then printing it out.
3) Collect your birth certificate, photo ID, $92, passport photos (I did mine at Wal-Mart for $10 when I got an oil change once) and the application and bring it to a local passport acceptance facility. Aka the Post Office. A note about the pictures and identification - there are specific rules for the photos and additional information for those who were not born in the United States so be sure to have everything in proper order before you go to the Post Office.
4) Submit your cash and the other stuff for review. They will mail your birth certificate back to you, if I remember correctly.
5) Wait between 4-8 weeks for your passport to arrive by mail

The US government is now issuing e-passports, which look identical to the other tourist passports with one major exception - there is a microchip implanted into the cover that holds a digital photograph that can be compared with your actual face at immigration with the use of facial recognition technology, as well as other things. For more information, check out this link - - the new passport pages are actually really cool looking.

You can expedite your application, like I had to do because of a pressing need to go overseas for work, but generally its going to end up costing you nearly twice as much. If you aren't in a hurry then don't bother with the expedited service.

Cool Web Sites

I have to share some interesting sites with you, if you haven't seen or heard of them yet.

First on the list - Wii Have A Problem - - this site actually has a damage counter that lists various reported personal injuries and/or destruction to property as a result of playing games on a Nintendo Wii. If you haven't played on a Wii before - let me just say that it requires the use of a "wiimote" that must be tethered to your wrist, for the butterfingered fools out there. Some of the personal injury entries are gruesome and amazing - one guy broke his clavicle playing Home Run Derby, another popped his knee, and the absolute best - one guy reached back violently and accidentally punched his girlfriend in the face. What did she do? She posed with her shiner, a big smile and a "thumbs up" - if this were a Foster's commercial, I'd be saying "KEEPAH!" Shattered TVs, broken glass, broken lamps, obviously fake (coughpatheticattemptstogetnoticedonawebsitecough) submissions - its all chronicled here.

Secondly. SongMeanings - - this is a site that I occasionally use to read what some peoples' collective takes on what song lyrics actually mean. This is a virtual treasure trove of verbal cockfights between people who consider themselves superfans of one band or another, and as a result the arguments and the "I know more than you about this band" approach some of these pathetic nerds are guilty of perpetrating are nothing short of explosive and very comedic. You'll no doubt run into one of these kinds of scenarios if you search long enough, but the site is useful if you've ever wanted insight into a set of lyrics. Over 26,000 artists are catalogued.