The song Lose Yourself by Eminem is good. I forgot about it.

I'm in a weird mood. I just got back from a wedding reception that was soooo nice. It was at the Statler Towers on Delaware by City Hall. The food was good, the hall was pretty, there was valet parking, blah blah, it was all really nice. And the dj was so great. I liked every single song he played. I was bummed that I wasn't there with my friends though. We would have danced the entire time. I was there with my mom, who is still a good time, but not the same. We danced to the classics such as I Will Survive, Play that funky music (my mom seriously goes crazy when she hears that song), and the Electric Slide among others. But I missed my buddies on "Jump On It", "Blister In the Sun", "Jump On it", that "skeet" song, etc etc.

I also left the wedding wishing I had gone to Notre Dame for medical school. EVERY PERSON AT THAT WEDDING WAS BEAUTIFUL. They are obviously all med students from Notre Dame. I felt like I was watching a TV show. And not only were they beautiful but they were so much fun. I don't think they stopped dancing at all. It made me wish I was their friend so I could have been dancing with them, but I didn't want to be some weirdo that was dancing with a bunch of (hot) people she didn't know. The bride and I are not nearly close enough for me to just randomly shimmy up to her and start belting out "Shoop" by Salt N Pepa. That would be wierd. So I kinda just stood on the side with my mom and some other people and sang and swayed to the music, watching all the hot people.

I am so obsessed with my weight and the way my body looks and what I eat and how much I exercise. I can't stand it. I don't know how to stop it but I want to. I feel like I need to talk to a therapist or something. All I do is think about how many calories I eat and how many I burn when I run and how my clothes fit and how chubby my face looks and I just want to stop caring so much. I was on a streak for like, 2 weeks of eating a decent amount and not going to bed feeling stuffed, and also going running, and then today I ate like crap because I was hungover and wanted greasy good, but now I feel gross. No, I feel guilty, and that's what I hate. I didn't go running on Friday or Saturday, and I feel guilty. There is no reason to feel guilty but I do. I'm not even sure where these feelings come from...there are probably lots of reasons why I started feeling this way. I never cared about it in high school or even the beginning of college. It wasn't until like 3 years ago that I would even THINK about running for fun, and the whole calorie counting thing started probably about a year or so ago. I wish it hadn't. I just want to change how I think about these things because I feel that I'm very mentally unhealthy and unstable about these issues.

I'm going to be a full time teacher next year! Yay tenure! Yay seniority! YAY MONEY!

Tonight Mike and I dined out for life at Astoria on Elmwood. We both got the same thing for dinner which maybe is weird but the waiter seemed overly happy as he said it made his job easier. Our dinner was pretty good, not the greatest meal ever but certainly not the worst, but our appetizers were super delicious - Cajun grilled shrimp. I think the next time I go back I'm getting that as a dinner. I love fish. I really hope there's no time in my life when I can't eat fish on a regular basis. Let's keep the oceans clean and full of delicious seafood!

Plus Astoria had warm bread on the table which is always a plus. Overall I enjoyed the dining experience and I would recommend it. Not cheap but not as expensive as you can get in these parts. For an iced tea, an appetizer and two meals it was like $53. That seems crazy compared to our old days of spending $5 max each when we would all go out to eat every single night of the week a few summers ago. I guess maybe we are growing up a little bit?

((e:Mike) reminded me that it's been ten years since we were freshmen in high school today. A DECADE. Where is the time going?!?!?)

i'm online at the apple store using a beautiful giant screen macbook pro. i'm a little bit drooling. it's so beeeautiful. makes my macbook seem small and sad. haha. ME WANT!

one of my high school kids asked me today "do trombone players call themselves tromboners"?


inappropriate? i suppose. we all laughed anyway.


it seems to be the goal of my students to get me to swear or say anything perverse. i refuse.


muhahahahaha.

It's list time...I find it's an easier way to organize thoughts rather than rambling, which I'm also good at...

1) I never complain about gas prices, but I'm pretty annoyed by the recent wave of gas price raises because I have to drive to Fredonia and back twice this weekend. It usually takes about half a tank to make the trip just once, therefore it will cost me approximately $40, let alone the other driving I might do. Maybe I'll fill up at the res on the way back the second time. Shout-out to (e:Anne) for making one of the trips there with me. How about we take your car....?? :)

2) It really annoys me that people hit their brakes when they see a trooper on the side of the highway giving someone a ticket. Do people honestly think that the trooper is going to say to the person being pulled over, "You know, on second thought, I'm going to let you go, and go chase that person who just flew by me at 85 miles per hour"?

3) I'm pretty much back on track with running and am finally starting to see SOME results. It would make the biggest difference if I started eating better. I know that my body could be different if I stopped eating certain things, but I consider having a delicious reward (or three) as being one of the best parts of being a runner. I think a lot of runners feel that way. Yay, metabolism!

4) Can't wait to Dine Out for Life next week with (e:Mike) and whomever else may join us :)

5) I'm so sick of seeing this asshole loser's face all over the freakin television. Stop shoving it down our throats, stupid media.

6) So my friend Ashley is sort of setting me up with someone. She's still in high school and she wants me to meet her band teacher. I'm pretty sure her only criteria is that we're both single music teachers, and that he saw my picture and thought I was cute. I don't know how much we have in common other than being Fredonia graduates and teaching, but that's always a start. I feel sort of weird about it...I've never really done this before. At least we aren't going to dinner or something. He's just going to be there during a rehearsal we're having, so I'll probably say hello to him afterwards or something. But still...it seems like it might be awkward! Plus he's 29. What if he wants to get married right away? Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

7) I love getting my hair cut. If I was rich I would definitely pay someone to wash and style my hair every day. I'm pretty sure it's the most relaxing thing on Earth. I love when people touch my hair. I've never had a boyfriend who did it enough. That's gotta change. My hair is pretty! It needs to be adored!

8) I used to hate Opie and Anthony and resented that they took Shredd and Ragan's spot. I've since discovered that I definitely prefer S & R in the afternoon because I can hear more of it, and I've started to enjoy O & A for the most part. They're about the only thing I can tolerate in the morning besides NPR.

9) It's late. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, and GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SABRES

is it wrong that i always assume that the la nova on main street is not as good as the la nova in buffalo?

(e:Anne) and I are in Alabama for the weekend with our family. We're supposed to come home tonight, but apparently the weather is going to be bad. My dad gets very dramatic when he hears that weather is going to be an issue, and was already talking about getting a hotel room for tonight just in case. Even when I just go to Fredonia for my voice lessons, he always warns me that he heard about bad weather. Anyway hopefully we'll make it back today...NOT that I wouldn't mind missing school tomorrow, but (e:Anne) doesn't want to miss her Spanish class again (the same class I made her skip on Wednesday....oooooops).

(e:Mike) and I went out tonight around quarter of 10 with the idea of getting some coffee because neither of us were very hungry. So we go to Spot where it totally looked like it was closing because a worker was cleaning and the people behind the counter were ignoring us and cleaning out blenders or something. So we left and sat in his car discussing where to go next, and while we were in there, we definitely saw people go inside, making us wonder if Spot was actually closing or if they just hate us. So anyway, since we're not very hungry still, we debated about places to go where we could get something small. Well anyway to make a long story short after about half an hour of driving around looking at places and almost getting shot (well in our heads), we ended up splitting a large cheese and pepperoni pizza at LaNova. We are such fatties but mmm it was so good. I really love La Nova.

(e:Mike) and I also made the odd discovery that we both ended long hiatuses (hiatusi?) from doing crunches and started up again today. So look out for sexy abs comin from Kenmore.

This last weekend I did something that is highly unexpected, slightly trashy, and kind of exciting. I have no regrets.

My hands are always cold.

I used to love Jimmy Eat World. I have seen them in concert 4 times and always had such a great time and I used to be obsessed. Then around my junior year of college I stopped listening to anything other than classical music and sort of forgot about them. I bought their latest album sort of out of necessity but never really got into it. I think is partially because it's not as good as their two previous efforts, but I was also friends with people who weren't into them. So now I'm rekindling my Jimmy flame and am trying to fall in love with their latest album. It's been awhile since I've listened to this kind of stuff but I hope I haven't grown past it or something. The next time they come to town I would like to go see them. (e:Anne) and I once roadtripped to Hamilton, Ontario to see them. It was sooooo much fun. That was during the awful summer when (e:Anne) was my lifeline and constant entertainment! Well I guess she always is...isn't that what sisters are for...but she really went above and beyond that summer of '02. She also did the same last winter when I graduated from Fredonia and hated my life. How many people would let their 22 year old older sister sleep in their not very large single bed just because she couldn't be in her room by herself without sobbing hysterically?? Sisters rock. (e:Anne) rocks.

Wow I really can go off on a tangent if I want to. There are actually about 100 more things I can post about but I don't think anyone really cares?

I'm on break this week. Teaching is soooo sweet. I get so much freakin vacation time it's really out of control. Of course I have no idea what I'm going to teach when we get back. And when I say no idea, I really mean NO idea. I have no curriculum to follow and I've done a lot of what I wanted to do at the beginning of the year. But I have the rest of April, May and part of June to fill up. Wow. Good thing I usually work in week-long segments. Like I'll usually start a unit on Monday, and if it starts going crappy, I just count the days until Friday and then start over again the next week. Thank God for weekends.

Okay I'm done now but it's time for my first plug...




More details will be coming... but you should come see me sing...I'm wearing a beautiful dress...and I can carry a tune pretty well...and there will be free food afterwards...clear your calendars!!!!

Good night and thanks for reading this far!

I'm watching the beginning of Happy Feet. I love penguins so this is very exciting for me, but I'm confused as to why all of the other penguins grew up to look like regular penguins, yet Mumble looks basically the same as he did when he was a baby penguin, just taller and with a deeper voice? Is this just to emphasize even more that he's different, or did Disney just need to distinguish him? This movie is very cute so far but I'm about to fall asleep so I'll have to finish it tomorrow. Penguins are the best!