No Swedes, No Turkey
Nov 20 4:59 PM US/EASTERN
By Joshua Larson
BSP Cultural and Political Editor

After 27 consecutive years of Thanksgiving Day dining amongst friends and family at the Larson family retreat in Jamestown, Jason and Joshua Larson are finding themselves out in the cold.

"I believe that this is an ill-conceived concept," said Joshua Larson after learning of the barren wasteland that will be his Thanksgiving Day plate. "I can't see how Dad is going to deal with Grandma during a 3-hour drive to the home of my uncle and leave us here in Buffalo because Jason has a rigid work commitment."

Jason Larson was too distraught to make a comment.

For years the Larson home has been a bountiful harvest of the flavors, colors, sights and smells of what is arguably one of the best holidays on the American calendar. One Buffalo resident and confidant of the Larsons, Mr. Gerald L. Vinciguerra Jr., is equally traumatized by what seems to be a lack of holiday flair at his own home.

"The Larsons might be getting their turkey on Saturday rather than Thursday, but at least it will be home made; I'll be sliding my turkey off of a buffet table at the Holiday Inn," remarked Vinciguerra.

Clearly disgruntled, Mr. Vinciguerra recalled the wistful, halcyon days of bountiful dessert tables, beautiful table settings and bursting belt buckles. "Apparently the 'old days' started 364 days after last Thanksgiving," Vinciguerra cooly remarked.

Hardly chefs, the Larson brothers will be forced to fend for themselves on Thanksgiving Day for the first time in their lives. Larson stated, "I have an idea of what to do here. I'm thinking about getting a pumpkin pie, some cornbread, some vegetables, some coffee, a marinated pork tenderloin and a shoulder to cry on."

I've pretty much avoided all of this so-called "drama" as a result of "the other Jason" aka "the new Jason" aka (e:jasoninbuffalo). While I have a streak of saying outrageous things, the last thing I've ever personally tried to do is actually stifle what is being said on another journal. As I've always said, if you don't like what I'm saying, I couldn't possibly care less and you are more than welcome to move along. I highly recommend that you, dear people, follow the same train of thought because your life will be far less stressful.

Some of you tried running off DT because you didn't necessarily like what he had to say. This represents the WORST of what this particular site can be. While I didn't start this blog site, I feel fairly comfortable in saying that this wasn't set up so that you can start your own little e-clique and vote people off the island that you do not like. That would make (e:strip) unsustainable in the long term and a completely hostile place to have a blog in the short term.

Leave (e:jasoninbuffalo) alone. If you don't like his blog it is well within your right to let him know it, but remember a few things - 1) Chances are high that you value your opinion more than he values your opinion; 2) You, by acting like an immature little prat, make yourself look far worse than the supposed "offender" writing the blog; 3) The entire problem can be avoided by simply taking the high road. Now, if you are utterly incapable of taking the high road, I would remind you that although you have a right to say what you like here, you do NOT have the right to try to limit what somebody has to say here, or otherwise attempt to run people off simply because you don't like them. The only person that truly has a claim to ownership here, (e:paul), has never done it. He's a sensible guy. Since he won't do it, you, as a participant, SURE AS HELL do not have a right to do it. Ok? Ok.

I nearly got run over by some white middle aged lady in an Audi stationwagon today while crossing Elmwood to go buy some dish soap - apparently being a white middle aged lady that drives an Audi makes you exempt from right of way rules.

Then the funniest and most stereotypical thing happened. I notice as I cross the street that she is going to Wilson Farms as well - nice! So I walk to the door, passing a black homeless guy who is standing by the door talking to himself. I look back through the door, and I notice that after the white lady in the Audi notices that she parked directly in front of the black homeless guy, she puts the car in reverse and drives away!

This, my dear friends, is a perfect example of what we don't want in our neighborhood, and as far as I'm concerned, is emblematic of ANY interest from suburbanite types in our neighborhood. Sure, our neighborhood is affluent and kitschy - many white middle aged ladies come to our neighborhood and deal with the eccentricities without batting an eyelash. I submit as evidence the white middle aged affluent ladies that stream in and out of Globe Market. I am sure that these ladies are Buffalo residents because anybody from Clarence simply could not deal with "colored folks" around their neighborhood, particularly people who are destitute.

What I saw today I found to be shocking but not terribly surprising. Buffalo is *the* most segregated city I've visited, and there isn't a major city in the United States that I haven't spent significant time in. We are segregated racially, economically and socially to such an extent that the white people from Clarence unwittingly expose their ignorance and intolerance of people who are either poorer or a different color - they simply cannot help it because they are so underexposed and used to their ideal and extremely sheltered environment in some cul de sac.

Memo to suburbanites - if you can't deal with it, then don't come down. If you are looking for an urban, sophisticated shopping mall then I suggest heading to Transit and pretending that you are in Buffalo and not Williamsville/Clarence. I hear that Sienna has a FABULOUS holiday menu, and hey - your kids at Willy South aren't going to have to come face to face with BLACK PEOPLE - and if they do, at least you know that in your district they aren't poor and you can chat with their parents (maybe, remember - they are black) about interior decorating ideas!

Oh yeah, and you people are FAKE ASS Sabres fans, too. We'll see you in three to five years when the team is average again..... right?

This is the definition of what a website should be, according to me -



Its clean and attractive looking, its extremely easy to navigate, it has a cool chanting sound and its about beer. Can I ask for more?

Still though. Abbey beer rocks and I'm a very thirsty man.

I think that the thing my father is the proudest of, concerning (e:jason) and I anyway, is the fact that we have a great love of music of all kinds. Most kinds of music, anyway.

Some of my fondest memories are of riding in my dad's white Oldsmobile 2-door listening to The Police, Phil Collins/Genesis (not that fucking 'Invisible Touch' crap), Peter Gabriel with or without Genesis, U2, Pink Floyd, Tori Amos, Yes, Supertramp, Frank Zappa, The Eurythmics, The Grateful Dead, Herbie Hancock, Fleetwood Mac, Miles Davis, The Alan Parsons Project - I've forgotten most of it but you catch the drift. Dad looooved Tori Amos. I think he found her very sexy, and she is - especially when you see her perform. But she was fucking freaky - not Annie Lennox crazy freaky, but just enough that you have to wonder whether or not you would 'take the plunge' if you had the chance. Anyway, I digress.

The best thing my father ever did for (e:jason) and I, and I think he would agree, is plant the music seed in us. He was an all-state caliber trumpet player when he was in high school and so we ended up being similarly killer musicians as well. I even enrolled at Fredonia to major in Music Composition (nobody knows that about me but now you do!) but promptly left to go to UB since it hit me that Music Comp wouldn't be the best career move. My knowledge of the classical repertoire is entirely my own - dad doesn't listen to much classical. I think his proudest moments are when he gives me music, which he does all the time knowing that its going to collect dust for a year, and after that year I come to him on my own and ask for more from particular artists.

Nowadays my father is in full bore hippie mode - tie dye and all. He is NEVER without tie dye. I actually have his rain stick and his didgeridoo. He would cut my throat if I tried to take his drums and other instruments. He is heavily into new age/world music, the newer jazzy stuff like MMW and jam band material. He is a 49 year old man that goes to hippie music festivals. He's seen Pink Floyd and The Grateful Dead, in original format, live. That is a fact that makes an extreme amount of jealousy boil up in me.

He votes Democrat and cannot understand for the life of him why I chose to register as a Republican at 18 - he wrote in big block letters "I'M AN ASSHOLE" over my brother's picture of President Bush.

His co-workers call him "The Big Kahuna," or simply "Kahuna." He can whistle so loud that he could almost puncture an ear drum if you stand too close. He is a single digit handicap golfer. He refers to my grandma by her first name. The raunchiest thing he has ever told me about was the infamous "Three Hole Tammy" story (if you don't catch the drift, it should be fairly obvious!). He gets tears in his eyes when he listens to my solos at the 1995 All-County Jazz Festival. Since I was first, he wisely named me after my grandfather; (e:jason) got the shaft in this regard and he LOVES IT when people ask him what his middle name is. (sarcasm, guys... sarcasm).

Obviously the man has had an enormous influence on me and I love him a great deal. He along with my grandparents laid the foundation for me to be the man that I am, and God willing, the father that I will be one day. The only thing that I wish he would have done is push a guitar into my hands when I was younger; this way, I would be a great player right now! When I have kids, I will encourage them to not only excel and participate in organized musical activity but strike out on their own as well; my world was classical for a long time but I think I would have been a better musician had I joined a band outside of school.

Looking at the evidence, if people had a choice between a 28-year old Josh and a 28-year old Mark, Mark would be cooler and get all the chicks. Luckily there is just enough of him in me that the chicks still like me (occasionally!). Anyway - here is my tribute to my father!

I called my grandmother last night and had a loooong talk with her - 1 hour 40 minutes! I told her that I voted "D" for all the local and state stuff (minus Hillary, NYSAG post and judges), and she was tickled. "I can't wait to tell your dad!" Haha. We'll see about whether or not I regret it.

Today I am cleaning out the corner of our kitchen that I've avoided for years now. Its a vortex where all of our unused junk has collected. Boxes, old computer parts, 4 year old mail, bags, a toaster oven I've had for 5 years but never have used, collapseable shelving, paper and plastic bags, even an old coat that I didn't even know I still had. Its unbelievable. This is something I never, EVER want to do again. :(

Well, maybe not quite, but I think you all may be surprised by my outlook on it... at least at parts. I generally agree with what (e:jason) says.

One of the things that has bothered me is the fact clearly the leadership at the Pentagon has been inadequate, yet President Bush has stuck with him. Mr. Bates has served 6 previous Presidents and I think will be a fine addition to the cabinet.

Republicans having lost the House will mean gridlock, period. Forget about all the niceties that people are exchanging and promises of good will - very little is going to get done in the next two years. Subpoenas will likely start flying like confetti, because although it was moderate and conservative Democrats who brought the House to Pelosi, the senior leadership that will be running the different comittees are among the most liberal in the party. Pelosi is crazy, but she's no idiot - as a skilled politician she knows that if certain kooks in her midst aren't restrained, everything that Republicans and Conservatives have been saying about the Democrats having power will show to be true.

There are a few things that I hope get achieved within the next two years, and are very plausible -

1. Substantial increase in the federal minimum wage. I'd love to see ANY politician make it on $5.15 an hour. Many Americans earn this level of money, but not nearly enough to suggest that somehow this will mean a substantial increase in the quality of life for the middle class. It should be done simply because its the right thing to do.

2. Some kind of agreement on stem cell research. Science shows that the embryonic variety has promise although its yielded less results. If embryos that exist are going to be destroyed, why not use them for research? I see no problem with this. However, creating embryos specifically to destroy them for research will not fly. To be honest this is a long shot since a similar bill already got vetoed.

3. Immigration reform. Build a wall, create a method by which the border can be tracked 24x7, set up a guest worker program, and create an arduous but meaningful method by which the illegals we currently have can be naturalized. Any bill that comes short of the absolute best way to stop the flood of illegals will be unacceptable.

4. Taxes are going up. And by that I mean that the tax cuts that were implemented as they stand will not be renewed. We'll see exactly how this turns out, but generally this will likely be bad for small businesses - which is also why Democrats are talking about aid specifically for small businesses - paid for by the rich. Taking money from one person to give to another is absolutely deplorable. However, can somebody explain to me why oil companies need tax breaks?

Here are a few things that are certain NOT to happen -

1. Strategic redeployment in Iraq. Everybody knows that this is an effective pullout and will guarantee the collapse of a fledgling Iraqi government. President Bush will never allow it, so therefore its not going to happen, regardless of what Pelosi wants. We made our lunch in Iraq and we are going to eat it. By the way, the polls that many Democrats are quoting about the American people wanting a partial or full pullout from Iraq are the same polls that suggest an equal amount of people want none or only a few troops to be moved out.

2. Impeachment. Not only would this be a betrayal of the wishes of the voters who actually carried the House to the Democrats, but Americans in majority have no desire to see President Bush get impeached. Impeachment is a minority desire stressed by liberal special interest groups and do not reflect the majority of even the Democratic party. Pelosi has already stated that there will be no impeachment proceedings.

3. Social Security reform. Anything that Conservatives wanted to do with SS is certified dead as of today. There wasn't much political will to partially privatize SS anyway, and now that Democrats are in control of the House its a certainty that this will never happen. For me, I think its a wonderful idea just to leave it alone, but the big problem will soon be how to pay for the benefits that the baby boomers are going to be collecting. Although this may not happen in 2 years, *something* will have to happen within the next 4-8 years; none of the options are good.

In general, nobody is going to get the things that they really want and no big decisions are going to be made. This is officially a lame duck government until '08, which is why most political operatives, as of today, are working on the election in '08.

Nancy Pelosi preparing to contest the validity of the count if the Democrats do not win -

This is getting entirely pathetic. Harold Ford Jr. is already complaining. Defeat is unthinkable - its as if they don't win, its not their policies or ideas; its got to be that somebody cheated!

If Democrats are this frazzled before what looks like should be a House takeover, I am frightened over how they will handle power of any kind. Luckily there will be no Democrat agenda being created that will pass - the purpose of the Democrats, if they control the House, will be to be ubstructionists for 2 more years.

By the way - Rep. Alcee Hastings is somebody you will be hearing about soon. He was acquitted on bribery charges as a federal judge, although his co-conspirator was actually charged. What did he (allegedly) do? He (allegedly) agreed to take money in exchange for reduced sentences. Nevertheless, then Judge Hastings was impeached by a vote of 413-3 in the House and 69-26 in the Senate. Why is this important? This is the person that Nancy Pelosi, who by the way voted to impeach him, is going to have run the Intelligence Committee, thereby skunking Jane Harman.

So he was acquitted, but still was massively, massively voted against in an impeachment. Now he may run a Congressional Committee? Jane Harman is the #2 craziest politician in California behind Rep. Pelosi, so the thought of Harman getting overlooked is fantastic. On the other hand though, are Democrats really going to have an (alleged!) criminal head the Intelligence Committee? Oh, my friends, this surely will not last long.

I have to say that by far one of the best TV shows running right now is Battlestar Galactica on Sci Fi. Its an incredible dark drama and isn't your stereotypical science fiction show. Absolutely brilliant writing. Being a 24 addict, I would have to say that this show is very, very close to my beloved 24.

Ok - election tomorrow - go out and vote. Here are the candidates I'll likely vote for or otherwise endorse during this season.

Governor - Elliot Spitzer (D). He isn't really a liberal - (e:jason) says that he is a Republican in Democrat clothing. Ok, I can buy that. I admit that the guy has balls - Giuliani sized balls. I'm very comfortable voting for him this time around. I'm not terribly optimistic about NY shaking from the status quo, so Spitzer's propaganda is hollow for me until I see results. On his track record, this is by far my favorite Democrat running in any race - local, state, national and in between.

26th Congressional District - Tom Reynolds (R). While anybody that runs for Congress is likely to be a power hungry schmuck, its embarrassingly blatant for Jack Davis. The storm gave Reynolds a lucky and timely chance to display some leadership and tap into government resources, since he is an incredibly powerful congressman. The polls say this is a close race - as usual, I stick with the incumbents in cases like this if I have to predict who will win.

Junior Senator - John Spencer (R). I know that Shrillary will win, I simply will never vote for her. She isn't going to see her whole term through anyway.

NYS Comptroller - Christopher Gallaghan (R). Alan Hevesi (D), our current comptroller, would have likely won easily if he had not used and abused state resources on behalf of his wife. Hevesi will not stay in his office, even if he gets re-elected, because misuse of the state's financial resources is grounds for immediate removal. Even the NY Times, "with some trepidation," is endorsing Gallaghan, and Elliot Spitzer has withdrawn his endorsement of Alan Hevesi... which should say plenty.

NYS Attorney General - Andrew Cuomo (D). I cannot express in words how conflicted I am with this. In my estimation Ms. Pirro (R) has basically been smeared to death because of her extremely shady husband - the fact that her husband is a shady bastard says nothing about her ability to do the job and on those same grounds its fair to say that Hillary Clinton shouldn't be elected President when she inevitably runs. Andrew Cuomo worked in the Clinton administration, which normally is immediate grounds to vote for whoever the (R) is. However, Ms. Pirro has never really helped herself and Andrew Cuomo has been more precise in describing what he would do in office. When it comes to politicians, and make no mistake; this is a political office, I'll take the one that is more forthcoming about what he'll do. Its better to know and hope than to not know and wonder.

State Assembly, Senate, etc. - Whoever the alternative is to the Democrats. We know that the Democrats will win, but I cannot in good faith support Antoine Thompson or anybody like him. We cannot poison state politics by sending our clearly inept people from here to Albany. By the way, Antoine Thompson rubber stamped that incredibly bad Casino deal that everybody hates.

Nationally - Its going to be very close and Democrats are definitely in the position to take the House. Whoever gets the house will have a very, very slim majority and if the vote is split 50-50 Republicans will retain the House because as President of the Senate, the Veep Cheney will cast the deciding vote. Republicans will retain the Senate.

For those of you fringe kooks panting like a dog for Pelosi to begin impeachment if she is Speaker, you heard it here first - it WILL NOT happen.