my parents must be the most penny pinching, frugalistic (I know it's not a word), cheapskates alive.

how cheap are they, you say?

they are so cheap that after they placed mouse traps around the garage and the little mice met their terrible fate, they pry apart they mouse trap, peel away the carcass and reuse them over and over again.

i mean, how expensive are mouse traps? i found $1.29 for 2 at walgreens. is it really worth the trouble (and disgust) to reuse a 70 cent mouse trap? i mean seriously, after using aluminum foil to cover a plate in the fridge i am not allowed to throw it in the garbage but rather must put it into the aluminum pile in the garage that my step-father then goes and sells for 18 cents a pound at whatever the place is where you sell back used aluminum, and he once got $200 for a load he brought over! he steals the toilet paper from hotel rooms when he goes away on business. we have not bought toilet paper in years. the same goes for shampoos, lotions, mouthwash, soap, matches. he collects old 2 x 4's to burn in the fireplace instead of buying firewood.

but i guess this is how they have over 100K cash in the bank all the while living on a 40K salary.

So the doctor gave me a new med for my mystery illness, klonopin. I'm a little weary of taking as I usually try to stay away from downers. I don't like feeling sleepy and retarded when I'm not supposed to. So to counteract that I went ahead and bought some smart pills on the internet, piracetam. lets hope the pharmacy actually sends the pills and not rips me off, and lets hope that once they arrive here they are real and not sugar dupes.

My MRI of the brain came back normal, so now they are sending me off for an MRI of the neck and more blood work to check for some rheumatoid stuff, among other things. The doc gave me some shots in my back again, this time going much deeper. They fucking hurt like hell and today I feel worse than I did before the shots. It fucking hurts like something awful. I refuse to take the muscle relaxers and the cymbalta they gave me. The relaxers make me stupid and the cymbalta made me feel panicky, like I was going completely crazy. the only thing i'm taking now is ultram, which helps somewhat, but makes me so irritable and mean and aggravated that i can't stand being around people and their stupidity. Maybe the klonopin will give me a good high. I heard some people like it, but getting high and taking away pain, are two different things. I seriously doubt they will do much of anything for my pain. The doc says I'm all stressed and uptight. I don't understand how he came to this conclusion, when he talked to me all of 5 minutes and knows nothing about my life. I am not anywhere near stressed, except form these headaches, and I live a laid back, calm, stress-free existance. I work 3 days a week, and lounge around the other 4 days. I live with my mom, who does most of the cooking and cleaning (because i just don't clean up to her standards), and I pay no rent. I mean seriously, it doesn't get any better than that.

i just want to be headache and pain free like normal people. i don't want my whole day to revolve around the headache that may come, and how to prevent it, the headache that is coming and how to ward it off and the headache that is there and how to stop it. i'm tired of puking, not being able work, or sleep, or being able to plan any social things. everything that i plan is contingent upon whether i have a headache or not. at times it hurts so much that the only thing i can think of is putting a bullet through my skull.

But whatever. bring on the meds.

here is an interesting job prospect for (e:zobar) (e:carolinian) and (e:jason) ! you can apply to become stephen hawking's assistant. it only pays around 40K, (which is way too little for (e:paul) to leave roswell) but the fringe benefits, i hear, are great!

i can't believe i missed all the action last night. i had an engagement to attend to and then...well...as the night wore on...i kind of forgot.

see this is what happened.

my friend who is like a soccer mom, living in wheatfield, never goes out. last night she managed to drag her ass to the bills game with a co-worker and somehow ended up at goodbar. she calls me at 10pm and asks what i'm doing. now, most nights i'm in bed by 10, but i had a bachelorette party i attended and was stopping by spot for a nightcap.
she calls me and asks me to meet her.

when i get there, i see her friend is obliterated and ask who is driving home. the friend insists she is perfectly fine and will drive her home no problem. i turn to my friend and say you better not let her drive you home or you'll be on the side of the road in a ditch. she turns to me and says, "um..you know what she told me?"

i'm like...."nooo?"

she's like..."she told me she smokes meth"

and so i'm like..."oh shit...that's some crazy shit!"

so, to make the short story long.....er.....i ended up driving her home and forgot about estrip.

i've been told i missed some surprise guests, for which i'm glad. ex #1 ended up showing up, which is soooo weird. thank god for that misconnect.

oh...and ex#2 calls today crying about how heart broken he is over the girl who left him. i told him that karma would come back to bite him on the nose.

no thanks...no boy drama for me.

oh yeah and i've missed jury duty for the second time in a row.....are they going to arrest me now? am i going to jail?

i will be joining the roswell family starting september 11th! i'll be running a couple of breast cancer studies. i've been trying to get this job forever and now i've finally succeeded! now i'll be rich and will do something that is challenging and rewarding!

I FINALLY GOT A REAL JOB

this makes 4 peeps working at roswell now, that i know of.

For those who'd like to see more china pictures, i uploaded them onto shutterfly, just like i promised.

after you click the link, click view pictures, when you come to the next page, chose "view as slideshow" it makes it a lot easier to view pictures.

i feel so guilty for putting faben onto the flavor of love show. i try to use it as an example of how NOT to act, but instead we just sit there and break on these chicks the entire time.

to those who don't know......the new season has begun and it is absolutely awful, one chick has actually doo doo'd herself right on the stairs! there are white girls who wanna be black, bisexual sex fiends, ghetto rats and country bumpkins who quote, "want dark babies"! god help me for watching this smut, but i just can't help myself, i love it! and i think some of you may know just what i'm talking about.

whatever, i listen to NPR all day long, i'm entitled to this

FLAVA FLAVE!!!

BUT DAMN!

so someone rammed my ass today. i was sitting at a red light on transit, talking to my mom, and this girl just plowed into my bumper. it was like one of those volkswagen commercials where people are driving talking, shooting the shit, when they suddenly get side swiped out of nowhere.

i swear if my mom was not in my car today, no one would believe me that these accidents are not my fault. if i came home today saying that someone hit me again, they'd think that it has to be my driving. last time i had a 120 y/o judge hit me. and the time before that, someone ran me off the thruway and made me loose control of my car and plow into the divider at 50 miles an hour. luckily only my sternum was broken.

i had a doctors visit today. this is a continuing saga of unexplainable upper back right side shoulder and headache pain. x-ray and ultrasound were normal. all blood work was normal except for vitamin b-12 levels. they were about 200, where the normal range is 200-1100. so the doctor said that since b12 deficiencies can be responsible for neurological issues, this could be why i'm in pain. so she decided to bring me in every week for a month for b12 shots, starting today. this still doesn't disprove my self diagnosis of multiple sclerosis as the two are very closely associated. it has been thought that b12 deficiency is associated with the cause of MS as it destroys the myelin sheath of nerve cells, which is what MS consists of. i think i'll bring this up to my doctor next week.

also, i went to see world trade center today. i did cry the entire time, but i'm not sure if it was because the movie was extraordinary or anything like that, it's an emotional subject, so just about everyone was crying including (e:des) . i'd give it 3.5 out of 5.

the last post was a question i got today at a job interview. i wanted to see what you guys would say. oddly enough faben and i had the same answer.

i forgot to tell you that i bought myself a pipe when i was in china. a friend of mine laughed at me when he heard this and said, "ok, so, you're having NO sex, not doing any drugs, not drinking, not going out ANYWHERE....um so when are you going to start collecting cats?"

after tasting that tobacco in (e:ladycrofts) hookah, i wanted to see if it would be the same from a pipe. cigarettes taste so gross sometimes and i really want to smoke something, so i'm hoping that this'll hit the spot. i'm not even sure how youre supposed to smoke a pipe. there are so few people around that do it. maybe i should take a trip to the deep south and scour some porches.

i don't understand why it seems that i type so many goddamned journals and everyone that's new and has been here for half as long as me, has already surpassed me. WTF people! slow the fuck down! let this old crusty woman catch the fuck up.

on a sad note, i just watched the most depressing movie i've seen in a good while. if you like the artsy, indie type movie, japanese story will, without a doubt, make you weep like your daddy would if he caught you steeling booze out the liquor cabinet.

if you were chosen to design a bathroom for bill gates and you were not allowed to talk to bill, how would you figure out what he wants?

okay folks, i am happy to report that i made it back from china in one piece. it was an incredible trip, filled with sights, sounds and smells that i will never forget (especially the smells). my first day there i was so overtaken by the smell that i was on the verge of puking all day. fortunately, it didn't take long to get accustomed to the various odors and by the third day, they hardly bothered me at all. everything had an odor. especially the cars and their polluted gasoline smell. i am usually motion sick as it is, but adding a noxious gasoline smell to the mix left me ready to chuck yesterday's lunch.

beijing has around 15 million residents! that is an incredible amount of people living in one city. the irony is is that beijing is by far the cleanest city i have EVER visited. not in terms of pollution, but in terms of garbage. you NEVER saw a single piece of paper or refuse anywhere! the reason is that they have official street cleaners that walk around with broom in hand and surgical masks and clean the streets day and night. the government hires migrant workers to do the dirty work, so to speak. the city has an unemployment rate of only 2%, i guess that's one of the benefits of a communist state.

the weather we had was somewhat of a mixed blessing. each and every single day was terribly cloudy and foggy and rainy. it was somewhat depressing when paired with the dingy grayness of the smog and pollution. we were not able to see very much of the great wall at all, but the up side was that the heat was not as unbearable as it usually is. on a normal day in july when the sun is shining along with stifling humidity, it is as hot as it has been here. but the cloudiness kept the temperatures at 85. although the humidity was still horrendous and you felt like you were walking thought a giant steam sauna.

we got along fine not being able to speak any chinese and saw all of the usual tourist sights. we did some shopping (got ripped off when my mother decided to buy an ipod and discovered it was a fake). i tried to warn her but she still ended up getting a mp4 player for $25. i warned her that it was too good to be true. but we did get some good deals on scarves and pearls and knick knacks.


this is taken at the detroit airport. (e:ladycroft) told me about this tunnel that has musical lights. it was amazing. i have a video of this which i hope to post once i figure out how to.


i bet this tunnel would be a lot of fun on some shrooms.




we made a stop in tokyo and snapped a couple of pictures. this is faben's dream vacation. actually, she wants to live here after college. good luck with that, since tokyo is the most expensive city in the world, even more so than NYC, but i'll let the kid dream.


we arrived in one piece after a grueling 27 hours. our family from poland met us in beijing and were waiting for us in the lobby. (they also met us in london when we went in december)


our hotel, which was free b/c we used accumulated hotel points, was a five star holiday inn. i know that's such an oxymoron but i swear to you it's absolutely true. it was by far, the most luxurious hotel i have ever stayed in. stacked mini bar, robes and slippers, down comforters, beautiful bed sheets (that i wish i could have swiped) superb restaurants, beauty parlor, massage parlor, cafe, lounge singers. it kind of reminded me of the hotel in "lost in translation". we also lucked out, because my dad is a platinum member and has a bazillion points, in that we got access to the executive lounge. this meant we had free breakfast and free cocktails and snacks and food in the afternoon.




the next day we went to the temple of heaven. i was sick the entire day and felt like puking the entire time. i was freaking out in that there was a gazillion people around and no usable public bathrooms (see pics below) and i had no plastic bag to puke in. luckily i held it off and managed to wait until i got back to the hotel room.


the grass is so much greener in china, despite the pollution. i guess it must be the horribly humid air. it feels like a rain forest.


these were giant cooking vats.


this is the temple, which is the main attraction here.


it started to thunder and rain out of nowhere and we were wishing we had bought those umbrellas that the street vendors at the entrance gate were trying to sell us.




some building or other at the temple of heaven. these buildings all start to look exactly the same after a while.


this is one of the markets where one goes to purchase just about everything under the sun. it's composed of 4 floors on which there are individual vendors selling their specialty items. everything from toys, to electronics, to silk, scarves, jewelry, pearls (loads and loads of them).


the signature bicycles of beijing. they are everywhere and share the road with the 3 million cars that pollute the city. no one locks their bicycles up, because no one steals them since it appears, that pretty much everyone has one.



ahh...yes....this is the dreaded chinese toilet! it is a squat and aim operation that results in people mostly missing, judging by the putrid smell of every single bathroom i encountered. needless to say, i tried to hold my pee as much as i could, waiting for the trip back to the hotel. it seems that this is the preferred toilet even for modern chinese facilities, since even brand new public toilets, such as those being built for the olympics, have these squatters.


and yes, even china has a walmart! who ever said china was not on the capitalist bandwagon, clearly did not see this parasitic corporation staking its claim. in addition, there are over 100 mcdonalds in the city as well as numerous KFCs and pizza huts. the above toilet pic was taken at a KFC, and no, i did not eat at any of them.


tiananmen square from across the street.


this is the line that was formed to see the remains of chairman mao that lies in a building that is planted dead smack in the middle of tiananmen square.


the line wraps all the way around tiananmen square! i can assure you that that is quite a distance. people form all corners of the country come to see mao preserved in his glass coffin. it is their mecca, no doubt. they feel it is their duty, as citizens, to see their great leader and pay their respects at least once during their life time. (at least that's what the propaganda tells us). mao was responsible for the cultural revolution which went on in 60's and 70's and which was responsible for the destruction of countless cultural relics and widespread economic mayhem.


here is the count down clock for the 2008 olympics that will be hosted by beijing. it is amazing as to how seriously the chinese government is taking this endeavor. unfortunately i did not get a pic of the stadium that is nearly finished, but i assure you it is quite impressive. what's even more impressive is that it is nearly complete a full two years before the start of the olympics. i don't know if you can recall, but during the last olympics in athens, the olympic stadium was not finished until the week of the opening ceremonies. our great wall tour guide told me that that it's the chinese way of doing things, being prepared well ahead of schedule. there were 2008 olympic tshirts on sale everywhere, ALREADY!


this is the entrance to the forbidden city. it's located right across the street from tiananmen square. there are bleachers located on both sides of this gate, where all the political royalty gather for a military parade that occurs every 5 years. notice the picture of mao displayed above the entrance. this is a hand painted portrait that is replaced each and every year.


inside the forbidden city, some buildings are under restoration for the olympics, however, they paint a replica of the building on the material that is used to cover the building just so you can get your money's worth.




these little statuettes of dragons and phoenixes indicate the importance of the building. the more statues the more important the building. the stately official buildings where major decisions were being made had as many as 9 statuettes, where as buildings used as the emperor's changing room would only have 4 or 5. incidentally the number 9 was considered to be a very lucky number in chinese culture and the dragon represented the emperor while the phoenix represented the empress.


these enormous vats were placed next to all of the buildings in the forbidden city. since the buildings were all made of wood, and often caught fire due to lightning and sloppy heating and cooking methods, these containers were always filled with water and used to put out numerous fires throughout history. they were once covered in gold but pillagers that conquered the forbidden city on numerous occasions took the liberty of scraping the gold off. you can see the scrapings in this picture.


every entrance to each building and each room within a building has this raised um....what would you call it...stoop? in any case, the reason for this is that traditionally, the chinese believe that good spirits can fly and evil spirits cannot, thus only good spirits can enter the buildings, effectively keeping the bad ones out.




we took a rickshaw ride through one of the more touristy hutongs. hutongs are 700 year old traditional city neighborhoods. they consist of tiny alleyways and communal living with courtyards. there are of course, the not-so-attractive hutongs, that are poor and depilated. there is much controversy about the preservation of these historic neighborhoods as beijing is seeking to modernize in preparation for the olympics. many residents cannot and do not want to leave. land in this particular hutong is selling for $1500 per square meter. that is not the case in most hutongs.


during our great wall excursion we hired a tour guide. i was well aware that just about every tour that one takes in beijing, has some hidden agenda. the tours make stops in many "factories" where they also sell whatever goods they are making, in hopes of getting a cut from the porfits. this is a pic of a jade factory we visited. we visited two jade factories, one pearl factory and one ceramic factory. the prices are 10 times what you would pay at a regular market.



we also visited one of the ming tombs. here is a traditional head piece worn by the empress.


we finally made it to the great wall.


i cannot even begin to tell you what a bitch it was to climb. i have never seen steps so steep. seriously i thought i was going to die.




unfortunately because of the fog and clouds we could not see squat.


the climb down was hard as well, since your legs felt like jello from the climb up.


being the striving quasi capitalist nation that china is becoming, you could purchase a "I climbed the great wall" plaque engraved with your name and date, solidifying your climbing accomplishment for generations to come. (my picture turned out fuzzy and i'm too lazy to take another one)


one of the many trash bins found all over beijing.


kitty cat chillin at a gift shop on the great wall.



we attended a traditional chinese opera. this was faben's favorite part of the trip. i have a video of this as well.




more cats in a court yard at the opera during intermission.


one of the waitresses was playing with the cats with something that was loud and buzzing. i moved in for a closer look.


i almost fell to the ground when i saw this. i have a video of this as well. she is holding it by its wings and teasing the cats. YUCKKKKKK!



intermission over.






we had to make sure we at least once, tasted the famous peking duck that bijing is so well known for.


a cage outside of the restaurant with parakeets.


i thought this fella was on the menu, but apparently they were cleaning their indoor pond when we arrived.




besides the peking duck these were the other tasty dishes on the menu. nothing like a bit of some salted bull's stomach. hmmm....i wonder why it has to be bull stomach? why not cow stomach? oh look!.....all kinds of salted delicacies.....intestines and pig's stomach. how about some steamed duck webfoot? and for the undecided foodie, there's always the assorted spring pig, as the summer and autumn pig tends to be a bit too tough.


our duck arrived....without any salted innards.


except a creepy head.


but we managed to eat pretty much everything. we're not a picky bunch.


and finished it off with some 56% alcohol chinese vodka. we are polish after all.


afterwards we strolled though the summer palace. it was quite beautiful and since that afternoon was the only day that saw any sunshine during our stay, we found out just how hot it would have been if it was sunny during our entire vacation.








this place was truly beautiful but incidentally it was the dirtiest place i saw in bejing. maybe it was due to the fact that every other beijing resident thought it was a good idea to chill in one of the few green spots in beijing on a sunday afternoon.


and just to prove that i was really here.


the following monday on our way to the airport we departed at 12:30 pm for a 3:45 flight. unfortunately, during a mild thunderstorm the entire highway to the airport became flooded and we were stuck in traffic on a 10 km stretch of the highway for 3 hours. people kept getting out of their cars and looking at the mess. we were actually lucky that our cab driver did not just tell us to get out of the cab, as was the case for many other people traveling to the airport. i spoke to one woman who was kicked out of her cab and made to walk 5km with a small child and all her luggage through ankle high mud.




and that my friends is the end. i will post all of my pictures on one of the picture sharing sites. i have approximately 333 pictures. i will make a post soon with a link for anyone who is interested in seeing more.

thanks for reading!