remember that guy who drove around with his SS# written on the top of his van? he was inviting people to try and steal his identity.

He got his identity stolen. HAHAHAHA!

what an idiot

Now that things are settled down... sorta... i feel as though i can rejoin the world.

Training a dog is suprisingly time consuming. Scratch that. Training a Dachshund, one of the most stubborn breeds that exhists, is time consuming. It is a good thing that Lauren is out of school so that she can do this properly.

He is doing very well with most things that he is learning (no biting, potty on the floor, potty in crate, barking, being a bitch to the cats, going into the bathroom -which is the delightful land of kitty litter) but his stubborn streak means he is doing it all still when it seems to benefit him more than not.

he is quarentined to a makeshift area in our kitchen. Which that in itself is shifting everything in our lives a bit. When nothing is in its 'proper place' it throws a wrench into your daily workings.

When I get home from work I have to split as much of my time between bonding with ralphie and paying attention to the cats so they don't scratch my eyes out in my sleep.

in other news...

(e:lauren), my smarty smart pants, got her grades in for class last semester and she got two A's and two A-'s. What a smarty smart pants!

(E:lauren) is going to need a job soon. A job in something that is closer to 'women/genders studies' than 'wilson farms'. anyone know of something?

funny.thing.about.dumping.iced.tea.on.your.keyboard.....

sometimes..it..makes..your..space..bar..quit...

dddaaammmiiitttt

Ok not much time to post as of late. the little bugger has me exhausted!

One thing I would not recommend is to have house guests when you bring home a puppy. Lauren's brother and friend from back home came to visit the night we brought Ralphie home. When you are trying to play the gracious host and keep the dog from whining all night, you don't get much sleep.

He does whine a lot, though he was much better today. Thank god he is starting to quiet down.

He really is so adorable, running after his little yellow ball. He bouces all over the living room floor when he is excited. It is so cute/funny to watch. Every time i try to shoot video of it, he stops though. Brat.

The cats are displeased thus far. Sid hid under the bed until today when our guests left. He still is skirting Ralphie's general area. Maxx is doing better, hanging out in Ralphie's area. He has boxed him twice though, but thankfully without the use of his claws.

OH and since Ralphie was cold, Lauren cut a sock up and turned it into a sweater for him. Ralphie now looks like a hobo.

Ok time to go play with the cats so they don't get any more pissed at us.

Check out this super handsome fellow named ralphie!




Maxx is displeased thus far.

we have a dachshund puppy!
pics will come as soon as he is out of puppy quarentine.
(leaving him in the crate until the cats get used to his presence)

HOORAH PUPPY NAMED RALPHIE!

I haven't checked my mobile messenger on my verizon phone in forever, but I keep getting these notes on my aim saying that I'm signed in to two locations! irritating because I couldn't figure out why.

Checked on my phone and i'm still logged in, but no new convos going on there. so i'm wondering how many messages i have missed because my phone is stupid.

Also - got an email about a dapple dachshund.
I wanted a black and tan, but this little girl is kinda cute. I'm not sure... oh man the decisions....




She has two different colored eyes too... but also 8 months old. Will my cats accept her? will she accept my cats? do i WANT a dapple? oh man decisions decisions.....

the dream of the day!

This mornings dream has to do with a dog show. I got stuck with this little toy... thing... It kept peeing all over itself. As in it peed, flopped on its back with embarrassment in its own pee and peed even more.

And then Something about a group of reps from a Verizon corporate store standing outside my store telling everyone that our store was a dirty bastard of a Non Corporate store.

I think I need to write about my dreams because my life is so damn dull nothing else is going on with it.

We did watch the golden compass last night. IT was pretty good, and I can defientely see why catholics are all pissed off about it. I mean it is so anti catholic! but still a good movie... and if you have seen it you will understand...

i want a demon sooo bad. but i guess a couple of cats and a wiener dog (if i ever find it) will do.


lastly... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE!!
ok time for work.

I had a weird dream this morning. We had the front half of this house turned into a cellular sales floor. Inviting people in and going through all the displays of phones and whatnot. I was trying to convince people that it wasn't just a second rate cellular store, even though the room we were in was clearly a living room, couches and tv and all.

I remember the carpet was new and very soft. I was laying on it.

Somehow we were then outside and there were planes all over the place, flyin through the air and shooting - it looked like poor video game graphics to be honest with you. But I panicked and jumped into the car with my dad, aunt linda and lauren. I was very excited to see that lauren was in the car with me because I needed to be there with her. But where the hell was my mother?

She is meeting us in ***#*#*#*#*# (the name escapes me) it was somewhere up in the middle of canada. So We start flying up towards the bridge, and these little oozie pellets started hitting the car from. It was as if they were hard at first but when they hit the car they started melting. Dad was freakin out because my window was open.

SO next thing i know we are flying down this road at 500 gazillion mph and passing all these people who are trying to get out too. A black man with a child, who yelled out something like 'oh can't stop for a black man!' and i was thinking... noo you don't understand!

Then we passed a man clutching a bong. He was in his own cloud of smoke. Every dream needs a comic releif right?

Then a couple of street racers in those zippy souped up street cars flew past the other way....

Somehow I believe that a song was going on in my head this whole time. Some sort of amusing song wherein the people I passed were singing along in succession, each explaining what they could bring to the table if I stopped to pick them up. All I can remember of it is something about the bong guy bringing weed and the street racers bringing speed.

So moral of the story is that I can apparently rhythm in my sleep.

Thurs, May 1. Avenue Q was amazing, though the tallest man in the world sat directly in front of me for the first half of the show. As much as I have heard the music on the cd, it was amazing to see how much I thought I knew about it was wrong. So hilarious! and the set was amazing!

Fri, May 2. After approximately 3 hours of nap time, we lept from bed and began the mad struggle to get ready and leave the house for several days. We arrive at the airport at 4 am, as we are told that if I come any later than 2 hours before my flight that I am absolutely screwed.

Thus we sat for an hour and a half in an empty terminal waiting, because everyone else knew better. My first plane experience was interesting. Excitement with a tinge of 'please don't let me vomit right now'. The excitement wore off and I fell asleep later on my JFK to Tampa leg of the excursion.

oh, and as for the layover? HA! We booked ass off the plane from buffalo and finally showed up panting at the gate for tampa and they weren't even boarding yet. Bitches! And several people on the buffalo plane managed to saunter over lazily as well to make it on time.

We arrived in tampa EARLY. By the time mel and her current plaything came to pick us up, I had already managed to rip the duffel bag that I purchased for air travel along the seams. Bitches!

The greatest omelettes ever at a small diner were followed by checkin to our awesome hotel.

"the most awesome in tampa!" We quickly made our way down to the pool and started ordering up the margaritas.





Dinner that night was in Ybor - a cute little village full of tattoo parlors, cigar shops and bars. I loved it. After walking around a bit we had dinner (and more margaritas) at this awesome restaurant. They had a little old black lady in a wheelchair in the restroom who liked to chat as well. I gave her a quarter.



Back to the hotel for a nap before going out (hellooo 3 hours of sleep?) and then out to an interesting lesbian bar back in Ybor. Lauren refused to wake up so she didn't go. We watched the "mel show" wherein all of Mel's people just kept floating by and talking.

Hotel. SLEEP! yes!



The next day begins the pain. I say that because we took Jess's rented convertible out to Clearwater beach wherein we learned that the spreading of sunblock needs to be a very thorough thing indeed.


Patches of red allover the body, like a camoflauge sunburn, followed. The back of my knees were apparently missed and lauren somehow got sunpoisoning (rash all over her legs).


Back at the Hotel, Jess and I go Jetskiing for an hour. THe guy who ran the place was a total burnout and sorta explained 'don't go over there, make sure you follow the no wake rules, if you run it aground, just get out and push.' What? what are the no wake zones? what do you mean don't go 'over there?' i think he went and took a nap when we left.




Jess left at 3 am the next mornin and we spent the day with mel, drivin around to her friends house. we saw an air show, and then went to chilis for the greatest margaritas that we had the whole weekend. I even stole a margarita shaker. SHHHH

All in all i believe we spent over $200 on the margaritas alone. Sweet ass trip people!

And now we are home. Woot!