04/26/08 07:58 - 63ºF - ID#44148

days off in hell

Yesterday was shopping for Florida day. Let me inform you that shopping for a swimsuit is probably the most horrifying adventure that a chick with an extra pound (or two) could experience. First of all, everywhere I went the bathing suits were either:

A) 2 piece
B) Adorned with rhinestones
C) adorned with gaudy flowers
D) Ludicrously expensive
E) GOLD. Yes GOLD.

It was not the most pleasant experience. I haven't been in a bathing suit in over ten years. I feel quite exposed. I felt on several occasions that a wetsuit covered with a mumu would probably be the sexier option.

More importantly... yet another battle at buffalo tonight, if anyone here is interested! BUFFALO BREAKDANCING! WOOOO!

Permalink: days_off_in_hell.html
Words: 117
Location: New Paltz, NY

Category: good reads

04/23/08 10:26 - 56ºF - ID#44121

dirty smut

I've been listening to a book on tape - a really random gross one that I didn't realize was more of a romantical book than a historical fiction - which is more my interest. So of course today on my way home from work I was subjected to about 15 to 20 minutes of a sex scene that uses delightful words such as "member" and "maidenhood".

Oh and incidentally, part of the reason the sex scene was so long was because they had to keep pausing to wonder aloud if the ghost of his grandfather was watching. Or to describe, in detail, the number of petticoats the young gent had to fight his way through to do his husbandly duty and officially make her his wife. BLAH!

Point of the story? I was pulling into the city when I realized my face hurt from the awful jaw dropping expression that was apparently plastered all over my face during the entire drive.

Apparently listening to heterosexual romance sex scenes set in medieval england during my long drive just doesn't do it for me.

but on a brighter note - three years ago today lauren and i made out for like 3 hours at the bar. happy anniversary love!

Permalink: dirty_smut.html
Words: 204
Location: New Paltz, NY

Category: randomo

04/22/08 08:51 - 57ºF - ID#44095

Name That Bum!

Every time I go to the zoo i get faced with animal bums. so here is a fun new game for all of us to enjoy... NAME THAT ANIMAL BUM!!!

..

and we have to check out (e:lauren)'s bum while she checks out animal bum.

and, oh my goodness look how (e:lauren) has shrunk!

Permalink: Name_That_Bum_.html
Words: 77
Location: New Paltz, NY

Category: randomo

04/21/08 05:21 - 76ºF - ID#44087

I'm at work.... and its slow. Watching a kid across the street trying to bust his face open by riding his bike up a makeshift ramp. I'm afraid to look away in case he succeeds.

otherwise, the day is slow. dull. boring.

yesterday I enjoyed the 420 holiday by taking care of (e:lauren)'s hungover butt. We watched movies (i am normally too antsy for movies) which included Liar Liar and Pirates of the Caribbean. It was kinda as if the cable company knew that everybody would be stoned and ready to zone out to stupid movies all night.

today was my day to go back on my diet. i cheated soooo much in the past few days. so far so good.

i need to make up a list of all the things that I need to do before the trip, so i don't have to think about it.

Permalink: more.html
Words: 148
Location: New Paltz, NY

04/20/08 05:41 - 70ºF - ID#44069

hungover sunday

Spent last night at my grams. Good times, good times. Of course i didn't bring my phone charger so my battery was dead.

(e:lauren) took the opportunity to go out without me. Which is why she is sitting on the couch in pain today. Poor little hungover lady. apparently if she is not concentrating her efforts on keeping me from drinking too much and being ridiculous, she is, herself, getting ridiculous... poor drunk lady...

and of course she got to admit how it was better the other way around because when i was the one with the hangover she got to make me wrong for it. Thats my girl.

back to laundry

Permalink: hungover_sunday.html
Words: 113
Location: New Paltz, NY

04/19/08 08:16 - 55ºF - ID#44051

ZOOmalaFLOO

We spent yesterday at the Toronto Zoo. Here is a recap of a couple important things.

1. Canadian drivers can be scary at times.

2. FOcusing on the inner set of numbers on the spedometer instead of the outer set of numbers can be distracting. It doesn't matter though because apparently 100kh speed limit does not actuallymean 60mph, it means 85 mph.

3. Except when you are trying to leave around 5 pm on a friday night. then 100kph means 3 mph then 0mph then 4 mph for 2 hours.

4. The toronto zoo needs to stop expanding their exhibits. Why? because I thought my feet were going to fall off during the 4 hour walk we took around the zoo, and several exhibits weren't even open.

5. Why is it that every time I go to visit a damn zoo the polar exibits are closed? The tundra was being built, along with the australian and canadian exhibits. I know I know, if I want to see some damn penguins i should just go to the aquarium. But dammit!

6. The rumors of Toronto being a very clean city apparently do not apply to the smog that looms everywhere. But being a city of such ridiculous size, I bet its hard to not have smog.

7. Does anybody know the real reason that when your car goes through the border patrol, and you stop at the gate to talk to the nice man who has a lovely border patrol script that he is reading to you... why is the pavement angled so your car is tilted like 40 degrees and there is a grate udnerneath the middle of the car? are there people under there?

8. My collection of photos of animal asses is increasing nicely.

9. Happy Birthday Grandpap.

Permalink: ZOOmalaFLOO.html
Words: 284
Location: New Paltz, NY

04/16/08 08:42 - 41ºF - ID#44027

drill sargeant maxx

My cat is sitting on the floor waiting for me to come do my morning stretches and exercises. He stretches next to me. And by stretches, I mean flopps his ass on my head.

I had a dream that I had my dachshund finally... and of course somehow that equated to my friend's bulldog humping my leg.

My fridge is empty. Well not too empty. Hummus, mushrooms and celery should make a delightful lunch for me today, shouldn't it?

dammit. the cat is like my own damn personal trainer. He is meowing at me and just inserted his claws into my leg. I guess that means its time for exercise. Bastard.

Permalink: drill_sargeant_maxx.html
Words: 111
Location: New Paltz, NY

04/14/08 07:54 - 35ºF - ID#44006

I'm blind!

I broke my glasses yesterday. BOOOOO no vision on my health coverage. Or should i say BOOO me for not adding the vision part to my health coverage.

I gotta run to work early and stop off at walmart's vision center and just see if they will sell me some frames for my lenses. i did that last time from sear's optical center.

i'm not impressed with spending extra cabbage this close to FL.

Permalink: I_m_blind_.html
Words: 74
Location: New Paltz, NY

Category: good times

04/13/08 11:25 - 37ºF - ID#43996

Schedule of EVENTS

Lets see... times comin for some fun!

Friday we are going to the Toronto Zoo. My aunt and cousin were going to come with us, but apparently not.

My parents are coming up to visit my grandparents that day as well. Haven't gotten to see them for a while, so Saturday after work I'm headin directly up to see them. Probably spend the night at my grams and come back sunday afternoon.

Lauren has about 200 scribbles on her calendar for the monday through thursday of that week - all those scribbles being final this due, rough this due, presentation this, etc. In other words, don't talk to her or she may flip her lid.

The 24th is our 3 year anniversary. (3 years? that seems like such a short period of time, and yet neither of us have ever made it this long!) I feel like we've been together forever.

the 26th is the next Battle at Buffalo.

the 1st is Avenue Q at Sheas.

THe 2nd we somehow make it to the airport at 4 am and head to Florida.

WHEW~! what a busy time of year?

Oh and then when we get back we GET A PUPPY!!!

Permalink: Schedule_of_EVENTS.html
Words: 196
Location: New Paltz, NY

04/10/08 01:40 - 50ºF - ID#43972

Smoke

Sometimes it blows my mind that I quit smoking.

Today I held the cigarette of a coworker while he was with a customer. It wasn't lit or anything, but it felt very natural in my hand. I think about the act of smoking, and of course it came right back to the social thing. Smoking was always a social thing.

Weird. Somehow I quit cold turkey after like 10 years without any desire. Except when I am drunk.