Safe to say that I have beaten the game. In fairness, I took unfair advantage of the AI's unwillingness to give up and buy the final Province/Colony.



If anyone wants to guess at my game progression though, here are the end decks for each of us (trashing, sadly, is not accounted for).

It's been just over 5 years since Machiko and I ended things. Today was her birthday, and popping on FB to send her a small note turned into a far more emotional event than such a simple gesture should beget.

Each new encounter makes me feel increasingly unable to connect. Five years, a quarter of my adult life, of being alone. Amanda was someone I loved, but as much as I resisted it I still held back because inside I knew that her little Quinn was a piece that I couldn't appreciate as much as she deserved. The growing together, exploring and challenging...I associate these with being human, and this deprivation is taking its toll.

I believe I did the right thing with Machiko. I loved her with all my heart, and still do, but I knew she would always believe that we could have a child, and I could not deny something that I knew she could achieve and thrive at. The justification for this helped me through the wretched emotions I dealt with afterwards.

But less and less do I find myself truly relating to what is happening. A disconnection with reality is something of a fear of mine, and for it to take hold of such a part of my life only amplifies its power over me.

Michaelene recently became both engaged and available to expand our friendship, which was a pretty wonderful potential to realize. Yet with all of this the barriers remain, and my understanding diminishes.

I've always been a relatively independent person, but this is not an intentional extension of that trait. There is something about waking up next to someone and saying 'what should we do today' that dramatically changes my attitude over time, in a way I very much relish. The path out of this is wholly obfuscated.

The one change I've thought of is that I need a roommate on my next move, perhaps even trying to break my lease and expedite this shift. Little things like just hanging out in the afternoon during some generally monotonous activity have a noticeable effect on my state of mind. It seems obvious that there is more that can be done but I find myself at a place of ignorance and apathy; a thoroughly suffocating combination.

I need some help, to the point that I'm not even sure what kind of help to seek. Or perhaps I just need to rant to help diminish this paralysis. I've been able to ignore this much better as of late, but I think this medium might be a good way to get this out and hopefully limit the internal distractions.

Have a good night peeps. I'm glad I stumbled into this place in the world.

Having come across an article regarding a 6-year old identified as transgender, I found myself being very critical of the parents in this situation.

There is certainly an amount of admiration towards their openness. However, I find it ridiculous that someone so young is being identified as such. That isn't to say that the person isn't transgender; it just seems (very) premature. I would apply the same reasoning to a child identified as gay, straight, and anything else dealing with sexuality. In fact, the issue (and growing trend) of childrens toys relating to gender demonstrates this pretty well IMO:



In the same way that we say a child's sex is independent of the toys they play with, the activities and artifacts that the child uses should not be used to determine their sex.

I love that she is able to freely engage in these practices, but there is no need to neatly wrap it up in some package.

Of course, when it comes to bathroom use, that's where this breaks down, and it is of course why the 'controvery' and article came to be. It's something I'll be mulling over, along with the question of when such an identify becomes sensible and healthy (puberty being the most tempting answer, even though mental awareness is the far more important yet immeasureable factor).

This was a really powerful video for me...



I've been throw into chokes and armbars while training in MMA, been jumped by kids who did not know any better, and yet it is the words I had to deal with during my time at a poverty-striken high school that caused me the most pain.

The creators made such beautiful use of different mediums and storytelling techniques, all while capturing a message that is often ripe for target by those who commit these acts. This seems different to me.

Link

I don't have much to add...just a great compilation of art out in the streets

I would have immediately bought this for you:

Link

Another attempt at this concept:

http://www.tentsile.com/gallery.html

Obvious problems include finding trees in the right place, right spacing, and right strength to set it up (with setup being no small task itself), but seems like a step up from the last one we saw. I'm less optimistic that a better option exists than the classic ground-gear, but not less wanting.

So, I think a lot of people here will enjoy this:



I feel pretty confident this guy will be doing great things, of which we will probably come across again.

On a slightly related albeit completely different topic of discussion, this is one of a continuing series of performances that make me want to shush the crowd.

In western culture, particularly American, there is an urge (possibly even a responsibility) to vocally express approval of a performance while it is ongoing. While the energy in some events, such as a football game, justifies this action, there are many others where it seems to obviously detract from the performance and yet we do so anyway.

This performance was a stark example. The music is very intimate, the motions gentle, and the crowd jarring in comparison.

This happens on a lot of things that I consume these days, though perhaps that's because I've been watching so much dancing material. But, even things like mix martial arts see very different crowd responses in some parts of the world. Specifically, in Japan, they treat MMA as we treat an opera, a hush over the entire crowd, with the silence being broken only on the most spectacular and unexpected occurrences. While I couldn't argue against others cheering in this case, I personally appreciate the silence far more; I feel it expresses a deeper respect for the contest taking place, and eliminates the feel of blood-lust in the crowd (and, indirectly, the community).

I'm curious how others feel about crowd cheers and jeers.

This is actually a topic that I considered writing about during this last break before I was sidetracked. At some point I'd like to research the origins and growth of this phenomenon.

((Edit: apparently this isn't coming across as I intended. The point of the post was to begin a discussion on these concepts. This is not intended to be an attack on anyone.))

These two terms are still in the growing stages and, as a result, seem to vary in what I’ve read. I’ll provide a short (and perhaps poor) summary on the part that is currently important to me:

Homonormativity asserts that everybody with any lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (homosexual) connection is and acts as if they were homosexual.

Heteronormativity asserts that heterosexuals fall within traditional gender roles and attitudes.

More reading, if so inclined:

Homonormativity

Heteronormativity

At this point in my life I am surrounded by gay friends. I have 2 circles of largely gay friends, and another circle of every-type-of-bisexuality friends. I don’t really have any strictly straight circles that I’m around with any regularity. My two closest friends are gay.

This isn’t something that I think about much. It doesn’t matter to me. I don’t hang out with people because of their sexuality; I hang out with them because I think they are good people and I enjoy their company, and hopefully that feeling is reciprocal.

But, occasionally, and especially recently, I find that my sexuality is being questioned.

I am straight. But, since I am often in gay bars with my gay friends, and not ‘acting’ as straight as most other straight people, and not walking around with a girl on my arm, the notion that I can be straight seems to be difficult to grasp.

This is nowhere near the first time I have faced this attitude. I generally take it as a compliment; I hear ‘you are an individual’. That’s cool with me. I have fun joking around with it; pushing the line where I can for entertainment’s sake.

It’s more difficult to do that when a person’s attitude towards you changes just because you aren’t what they think you should be.

I don’t care that my personality doesn’t match what people think it should for a straight person. I’m damn well not going to act differently just because someone thinks I need to in order to prove who I am. It pisses me off that a person who belongs to a group that is still frequently persecuted, and who I have fought for regardless of the fact that I myself am not directly included in that group, is then going to turn around and give me attitude because I don’t fit in a particular mold. Insinuating that I’m not being honest, either with others or myself, is really insulting.

How is it that humans so consistently, and quickly, lose sight of the place we just left?