Still more honest than what is typically expected:

"If we likened Account Talent Managers to game players, you might find that we live in a Candy Crush world of hot-headed, snap decision makers with no long term vision. I am your deliberate, agonizingly slow and calculating Risk player, mulling each decision for maximum impact and least cost. My skills in negotiation and objective thinking make me your dream candidate to bridge the gap between client and talent and my ability to eat roast beef on weck has left several employers in tears of joy. One client had a spontaneous orgasm after I made only 3 crucial management decisions and I was only musing aloud on a slow afternoon. Sometimes I piss pure gold powder. My blood has a salty yet floral fragrance that employees find intoxicating. My last office chair actually said “thank you” when I left it for the last time."