Well tonight I decided to do something I should have done a long time ago and looked through the website made in Lauren's memory for about an hour. It has been up since October, and I looked at it a little then but tonight I decided to really go for it. I put up a posting and then went through the whole site, which includes pictures, quotes, messages from the family and an extremely moving and emotional speech by her younger sister.

Please look at the website if you can (called "Remembering Lauren" under my links). I don't know if you have ever lost a young or close friend but I can tell you, it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I just cried continuously for about an hour just looking at and thinking about Lauren. My thoughts are with AJ's family, as well. This time of year must be so difficult for their families, and my prayers are with them.

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone that you love them. Remember what truly matters, don't take anything or anyone for granted because you never know if it will be your last time together, and I mean it. I know I don't always remember this advice, but it's so important. You may think that worrying and fussing about little things is important...but when you find yourself sitting in the funeral of not only a 19-year-old girl, but one of the most talented, beautiful and amazing people I have ever known...you realize what is actually important. I wish it didn't take something like that to make me feel this way, but I am doing what I can and taking away the best things I find. I miss Lauren every day, more than words could say.

I don't mean to be all depressing. But everything I just said, I mean with all my heart. I know it may not mean as much just hearing it from me, but please keep it in mind. Tell people you love them, hug people if that's your thing, whatever! Don't hold back because you never know what will happen. Make memories and live life as much as you can. It's times like those that will live on and never stop making people smile. Thanks for reading.

I can't stand when I write an entire entry and then I accidentally hit something and the whole thing is deleted, ahhh how annoying!

So we'll just summarize. I think I'm going through an "I can't stand any item of clothing that I own anymore" phase, and that's never good because I'm not going through an "I'm making so much money to buy clothes" phase, and it would be nice if the two coincided. Well at least gift cards exist.

Yesterday I enjoyed mucho shopping. I also learned how to wash hand wash sweaters in a machine, listened to some new musica and talked to that "Critter" on the phone for awhile, hahaha. All in all a good day.

This morning my family went to the Original Pancake House and it was so crowded!! But mmmm...so good. I basically inhaled my food. Then of course today I did more shopping and washed more clothes and am almost finished with Cat's Cradle. Good book, it's a really good part but I had to put it down. We're going out to exchange Secret Santa presents (and Mike has gotten me so excited for it...:P ) at Jimmy Mac's. Somewhere new and exciting...very unlike us. I'm sure we'll end up at Coffee & or someplace familiar because a whole new atmosphere might freak us out too much.

Well, time to sign off...any good book ideas anyone??? email them my way!

well even though I already added an entry today, why not go for a double? after all it is Christmas Day, THE GREATEST DAY OF THE YEAR! Only today do I not mind waking up early and only today do I not feel guilty about wearing pajamaz all day! (although I might give in and shower and then of course I have to put on clean clothes after that...)

So Santa was good to me again, including the Sleeping Beauty DVD YAAAAAY!!!; sooo many penguin things including a new sweater, a towel set, and of course a calendar; an Ella cd; gift certificates galore; a really nice silver necklace; and did i mention the sleeping beauty dvd!?!?!

I feel so bad, I just realized I sent my Grandma on a wild goose chase for a Jimmy Eat World DVD that is only available through the website...she's been looking all over Atlanta for it....oops...so I just ordered that and I'll use some of the money she gave me to pay for it...sssshhh...hehehe.

I love Christmas!! We opened presents while listening to a little Harry, of course. Now that I've heard him live, the recordings just aren't as great ;0) My cousins got a Winnie the Pooh version of Candy Land, it is so hightech compared to the old days. Ahh, these kids and their crazy new toys.

Well I still have secret santa to look forward to, and then New Years (somewhere...??) and then SEATTLE on the 8th! Ahh I love chamber singers...haha what a big geek!!! Anyways it's so great to be home and I can't wait for my apartment and I love my crew from home and I miss my Fredonians and I love Christmas =0)

Merry Christmas! =0)

i haven't updated in so long, ahh! i'm so impressed by the website, it just gets better every time i look at it =0)

so i just got back from tully's, mm. although i wasn't super hungry and i don't think what i ate agreed with me, but oh well, we got free popcorn and what else matters? mike and i spent like 93% of the time talking about our apartment and now we are excited and it won't be for like a year till we get it. i think it will be so much fun, unless i am too messy. ahh i'm nervous! but seriously, our apartment will be fantastic. including the most amazing cd wall anyone has ever seen. i mean, it wil be so great they might change the expression from "greatest thing since sliced bread" to "... since mk and mike's cd wall", that's how great it will be, folks.

so i went to see harry connick jr on friday, ahh he was so amazing! even though i think chris andy and i were definitely the youngest people by about 30 years. a trip to new orleans next summer is already in the works, haha.

what else? i love christmas time. tomorrow is christmas eve, and my shopping is acrually all finished, so YAY!

i miss my fredonians so much. happy birthday to embeeeeee by the way. you can buy porn and vote, yay!

not much else to say...glad to be home and get to see lots of people i haven't seen in a long time. =0) been thinking about the miller family a lot and how hard this time will be for them. keep them in your thoughts or prayers or whatever you do...we all miss lauren so, so much.

well goodnight y'all and merry christmas/happy holidays.

So this week has been pure insanity. Up till 4 last night and awake by 8:20 to finish this insane Methods portfolio, but it's all handed in and FINISHED! And I had my last Latin American class, which is always fantastic.

So now my checklist for the next week consists of my super fun CD-Rom project, voice jury, mock job interview, Latin American final (HAHAHAHA) and then having fun with my roomie, going home thursday with my favorite racquetball partner, HARRY ON FRIDAY, and Mike's partaaay on Saturday. The second my job interview is over, I am going to jump for joy. Who knows, I'll probably tip back a few then! =P hey i deserve it...we all do.

Time to get beautiful to take my Chamber Singers pic, will I be able to find the energy for that? hmmm...

I just wanted to update so I'd be the only person with a star =P

look at this wonderful band and listen to them sometime...

yo why is there so much work to do?

'Tis the last week before exams (not last rose of summer...) and it's just so ridiculous how much work there is and how much I just don't do it all until I have to. Like what am I thinking typing this journal when I could be typing the zillions of lesson journals I have to do??

It will be so great when it's over though. Just have to finish *ahem start* a Latin American paper, my Methods portfolio, my voice portfolio, 3 conducting observations, a CD-Rom project, the *FINAL* lesson plan, an opera scenes audition, a jury and a practice job interview! YAY!!!! Doesn't all look like so much fun?!

I can't wait to go home!!! Ahh, Harry Connick Jr, a Christmas party hosted by the fabulous 40 soccer mom Michael, hanging out with some awesome people, singing at church, New Years (don't know what we're doing yet but it will be fantastic no matter what), making money, CHRISTMAS!!!! and SEATTLE WITH MY CHAMBER SCREAMERS!!! =0) Oh I just can't wait.

This weekend I played racquetball (more like, kicked AAAAAASSSSSS!!!!) AND I drove down an entire street in a standard transmission car WHILE driving it AND I didn't stall!!! well until I dropped off my sister and had to turn the car around. Forget that, hehehehe. But it was so great, and I got to hear some great jazz at Barker. And Brian rocked my world on Sunday =0D All in all a good weekend.

time for sleeeepin.

OMG Mike I love the pigs that sang that song! I totally remember.

So tonight was a geeky night but it was cool, I haven't hung out with my big cutie or pat or lindsay in awhile, so yay. Willy is the best speedreader I've ever heard.

It's like barely midnight on a Friday and I think I'm gonna go to bed or get some work done...HAHAHA ahh this is awful.



Brian and Pat...yes, in my shower.
the night of the SMELLY FEEEEEET!!!

hahaheheheheeeeeeeee...

I love that I am updating this because only like 4 people will probably read it while we're on break but at least I'm providing everyone with other things to do instead of work once we are back at school.

Tonight we had to wait at Pano's, who does that?? Ahh I enjoyed my hummus and pita, and Di is back, YAY!!!!!!!! Awesome to have everyone back together and I'm glad I got to see everyone at least once before the family heads on down to PA for Turkey Day.

My arm still itches from the allergist office, isn't that a little ridiculous? I mean we established that I'm allergic to grass and stuff, NOW STOP ITCHING!

My break has been generally uneventful...I've been writing a lot. Always a good thing, I haven't done it for awhile. I went to sing with my mom last night at Canisius, and then watched a cinematic masterpiece at Jill's...The Real Cancun. Definitely didn't pick that one out, but it was entertaining enough, hahaha. What else? I sing and dance around my house whenever possible. I've done laundry. I had a random really really bad mood yesterday, and a random emotional outburst today. It's not even that time of the month!!! hahaha T.M.I. I'm such a silly goose. I miss my Fredonians mucho. Lindsay's beautiful Jeep is parked in my driveway.

I never really write about anything of value in here I just realized but frankly I don't believe that's what these journals are for! ENTERTAINMENT ONLY! I wish I could be here tomorrow for the biggest party night of the year. It's the first year my friends are actually gonna party...or at least try to get in somewhere that usually doesn't ID. I won't reveal the name ; ) I will most likely be asleep in a car when everyone is drinking it up. Maybe I'll drink it up in PA a little?? Only really cool people get drunk with their family members.

What do you think of having Lifetime text-message your cell phone everytime a major TV event occurs? Just wondering...

Aww my Brian just imed me. Ok I'm really dragging this entry out, I'm gonna hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more no more no more no more