I got a car yesterday. How exciting. Actually I was really excited. But now today has turned into ridiculousness about getting the car registered and insured. I'm trying to make it to Albany today and it's already 10:03 AM and we haven't gotten to the DMV yet because my dad has some stuff at work to do. So who knows how long that will take, plus going and buying new bolts to put new plates on, getting back home, putting the plates back on, going to the insurance company so they can take pictures of it...all so I can go to Albany. I'm starting to think I should just go to Albany tomorrow. The worst part about all of this I can't do it by myself because my dad is registering the car under his name so he has to go to the DMV and the insurance and all this stuff. And my dad doesn't deal well with working under stress and waiting around and paying for things and pretty much everything that will be happening today. He doesn't get violent or something but sometimes it's almost worse the way he is constantly sighing and staring out the window and closing his eyes like nothing worse could be happening. He probably isn't even thinking these things at all but I have dealt with it for 22 years and since I'm so sensitive to everything it just makes me feel terrible and that I'm wasting his time. My sister can make jokes and make everything less tense, but I just feel guilty and helpless and I shut down because I don't know what to do. If I don't fight it I can end up being the same way, getting so upset about the most tedious and minor things that are definitely not worth the stress or energy to be angry. I definitely do that on my own sometimes and putting two people together who do that is NOT a good situation, and I find myself having to really make myself be as smiley and optimistic as possible so I either ignore or overcome the terribleness I feel from my dad's actions. I am really looking forward to going to the Adirondacks and I want to leave today and I will be upset if I don't. And I love Tom my new car and I wish that all this paperwork and errands didn't always have to be such a dramatic experience and such a big deal. And while I'm so lucky and grateful that my parents haven't cut me off and still support me, I know I could do this all on my own if I had to and I wish I didn't have to rely on others so much. I really do have great parents, despite what I say, they would do anything for me and my sister and I guess I can say that if the worst thing I can think of that's happening with my family is that my dad and I are rushing around so I can take my new car on vacation...I don't really have it bad and I am being silly. Of course at the same time I can't help but have these sad and frustrated feelings.

Of course much worse things are happening in the world today, so . . . blah I don't know I'm silly and sick of this entry and I hope the DMV isn't awful but of course it probably will be...