Inspiration is seeing a friend, who was confined to a wheelchair, standing on his own two feet. There's no words to express how I feel right now - it's enough to make you weep. If that doesn't make the voice in your head scream "NEVER GIVE UP!" then nothing will.

What, you don't have a voice in your head?

For the past 6 weeks or so I've noticed chest pains whenever I get overwhelmed with stress. It's really weird - kind of like a rock the size of a softball has been planted where your heart should be.

Today my heart seemed to be throbbing quite a bit and I started to feel the pain again, so I went home from work early and laid down. It seems that once the weird stuff starts, it has a hard time letting it go... kind of like yours truly and grudges.

In other words, I'm having trouble facing up to the fact that I should see a doctor. I worry about hearing bad news, although I know that one has got to gulp down the bad news whole and face the facts. What do you suppose a doctor is going to do to me when I tell them that I'm a 31 year old guy that has a medical history of on and off treatment for hypertension (160/100) diagnosed since age 18, and that here and there I'm getting chest pain?

Bleh.

Hmm, this might be my first mobile entry. Long story short - I am going back to SF for work again. Three days in SF, one day in Sacramento and a redeye back home.

It is because I cannot relate to social conservatism or the ridiculous machinations of phonies like Pat Robertson. Wanna get sick? Click the link and watch -



Pat Robertson - you are a fucking disgrace to Christianity and to humanity in general. We've got thousands dead because of an earthquake - a legitimate catastrophe - and all you can think about is your objection to voodoo? You've lost, or perhaps never understood, the concept of God's grace. You are the very embodiment of what it means to be a disservice to that which you claim to be.

When I think of Christians I think of people like Drew Ludwig, not some rich, bigoted, racist white guy who occasionally comes down from his multimillion dollar mansion to let us know exactly how shitty the world is outside of his fascist Christian mindset. Pat Robertson makes Drew's work all that much harder because when outright lunatics like Pat Robertson speak their mind, guess who is unfairly left to explain away the nonsense?

You know what - some day I might have a kid out of wedlock. Who knows? It isn't outside of the realm of possibility. If so, I would never tolerate a man like Pat Robertson telling ME that my child is somehow lesser in God's eyes. I don't even think Pat Robertson has a connection to God any longer, if he ever did.

I cannot describe in words how much I loathe people like Pat Robertson. So tell me Pat, how is this tirade advancing the Lord's work? The answer is that it does not - you're a discombobulated old fool. Yep, St. Peter is going to be happy the day he meets you. I'm sure he'll be fascinated with the message you've been spreading all these years. Pat Robertson - you aren't a Christian at all, from my perspective.

Yesterday we were trying to figure out where to take Dad for food - a stroke of brilliance revealed Lagniappes - Dad would love it!

So, we stood for 10 minutes telling Dad how much we love this place, how the food is great and we'd be positive that he'd enjoy it. I told him about the full alligator roast he used to do, how you can smell the restaurant all around the block, thus suffocating and negating that other ridiculous and contrived spot on the corner. Hey Jay, let's get the takeout menu and put together our order! Man, I haven't had this in a while Dad, I can't wait!

Oh, hey, are they open today?

• SCREEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH***

FYI, Lagniappes is closed on Mondays!

What a hilarious and spectacular letdown.

I'd make resolutions, but what is the point? They are only aspirations with mostly feeble commitments behind them... so I suppose I've resolved to admit the pointlessness and tedium behind New Year's resolutions once and for all!

All I'd like is for this next year to be better than the last. I can't wait to see what that all means, but really what I'm hoping for is something good to happen to me that I cannot imagine right now.

And it is not him, but the unions.



This is good news and a step forward, but why did Byron Brown have to ask for the permission of the union?

Answer: "Well, you know Josh, there were unionized county parks workers who need to be guaranteed that they will be unionized as city parks workers."

Why is it that we cannot have any progress, any goodness, any kind of positivity in our city without having to take the first step of kissing the ring of some labor boss asshole? I know I'm missing details so I would absolutely love for somebody to fill me in as to why having to cope with the union as a first step was necessary simply to continue the status quo w/r/t the Conservancy, under the auspices of our uberpoliticized/uberunionized City Hall. Maybe this is a technicality that I shouldn't be worked up over - either way, I'd like to know.

While I feel like I should be happy that it looks like the Conservancy will be managing the parks, to what extent will the union interfere with the management of the parks, seeing as we've just been told that certain county parks workers will be unionized as city workers? Will they have no authority over the handful of parks that the Conservancy manages? To what extent will the city be allowed to interfere with personnel decisions w/r/t the Conservancy? I've got a lot of questions and a lot of suspicions, but not enough information, as you can plainly see.

This is what I want, with no compromises. I want the city to transfer control to the Conservancy and back off, because the only thing the city will do is muddy the waters, interfere and mismanage their position, just like they always have and always will do. I can't think of a single positive development that could come from the city being involved with our parks - after all, it was their incompetence and mismanagement of city finances that contributed to the transfer of control to Erie County five years ago. Somebody please just tell me that the Conservancy will be managed as it has been, just with technical responsibility transferred from the county to the city.

The City of Buffalo will never be able to devote as much singular focus as the Conservancy, they'll never be able to effectively manage the finances of the conservancy, and frankly the city will never care as much as the dedicated people at the Conservancy do.

A part of proper management, some say anyway, is the ability to recognize who the best people are for a given task, then empower these enthusiastic individuals to run with it to their utmost. Tell these people that you are counting on their enthusiasm and intelligence to carry the day for a resource that is incredibly important to all of us. Nobody will scramble for resources like people who run not-for-profits and care a hell of a lot about their cause. This caliber of person will always find a way when funds and resources are dry.

I count on the Conservancy to hold these parks in trust for not just us but for our future children, friends and neighbors. I count on their enthusiasm and intelligence to carry the day.

I want to take this opportunity to take the next step, which is to encourage anybody that is reading this to consider volunteering for the Conservancy, or donating money. For $30 you can become a member, although if you would like to donate a smaller amount I know they'd never turn it down. Something like this would make a nice gift for somebody this holiday. I hope this debacle has scared enough citizens into realizing that government will not solve the problems with our parks - it's all down to us. We have to circumvent our government and do this work on our own. When it comes to this issue, we've got to stick together or watch one of the last good things in Buffalo die away.

Sorry that we missed the potluck. I hope that everybody had a great time, as usual! (e:jason) and I were present for his company holiday party, which was a very pleasant experience. See Corporate Josh -



The best part about it, other than the free food and booze (naturally), was seeing that my brother works with some quality people. The bank had their party at their headquarters, which turned out to be a very nice building and a decent work environment.

Banks have a reputation for employing dour, humorless people at the executive level but this is not necessarily true with (e:jason)'s bank. Their VP of Technology was a very nice guy who I had met once before at a card game. The single person at the party that I thought was the most interesting and fun, the one that I could see would be a decent time over a beer, turned out to be the CEO of all people. Not only did he seem cool, but (e:jason) also says that the man is a very smart and capable leader. It's nice to learn that (e:jason) is on a first name basis with these figures at his company, despite the fact that he does not see them on a daily basis.

Interesting discussion re: my most recent journal previous to this one... which I want to expand on soon. Until then I just wanted to write a quick entry about how much I love certain apps on the iPhone.

Remote - the novelty will never wear off for me and I love the idea of laying down on the couch while flipping through albums and playing tunes through the computer. Plus - this forces me to flip through music I haven't listened to lately and it's given me the ability to revisit some old favorites.

Facebook - I'm pretty sure I'm hopelessly addicted to posting remote updates with pictures of whatever I'm doing.

Maps - not bad for a default app that comes with the phone. It's been hella useful. If I lived in a bigger city I'd probably get a different app that would allow me to track the public transportation better, but for now this little app serves its purpose.

Deer Hunter - buck buck

Right. Remember Joe Wilson? He's the Representative from SC who shouted out "YOU LIE!" after Prez Obama stated that in no way would his health bill provide a mechanism for coverage for illegal immigrants. Oh, how the left wanted to draw and quarter this man for being so preposterous to St. Barack. How rude!

Not that some of us didn't suspect it anyway, but it turns out that Joe Wilson was right. Why is Barack Obama breaking this pledge, that he uttered so clearly and so vociferously - who was vigorously defended when an elected politician pointed out he was full of shit?



Of course, this has been studied in great detail. My favorite justification - well, it's not a problem with the bill - it's the employers who are breaking the law by hiring illegals!

Now, I'll start the tape recorder - let the choruses of "RAAAHAHH THERE"S NO BILL SIGNED INTO LAW YET ERAAHHEHHSS" flow.