I am really losing my patience with people who just can't seem to see the obvious or who have trouble thinking straight.

It's a sign that either I am reaching a point where I am not able to think straight myself or a point where I have no time for anything else other than my dissertation.

If it's the second, I hope I finish soon.

If I don't, I will end up as the most anti-social impatient jerk on this planet who views every second person with contempt. Seriously, the "quality-me" has been taking a nose-dive in the past week or so because everything other than finishing my dissertation seems irrelevant and every person who whines that things are more complex than what they want to make an effort to learn seems like a lazy no-gooder. I am also increasingly hating on former influences in my life who made me feel like crap at any point in the time I spent with them. I don't think I am an unreasonable person in general and I make a ton of effort to get along with people all the time. So their behaviour to me seems inexcusable now. I think I have come to a decision to put them on perennial ignore, going forwards. I cannot deal with such pettiness in my life anymore.

I know this non-humble intolerant ridiculously stupid phase has to end. I am seeing myself going from a person I am always comfortable being to a person I detest and totally not proud of. It is times such as these I wonder if 95% of intolerance in the world comes from people just being too busy with their own problems and not having any time or inclination to see anyone else's point of views. Or is it that they have finally come to a conclusion that their short lives on this planet is not worth wasting agonizing over things that seem like they are not quite right.

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Disclaimer: This is just me ranting over non-specific things mainly because I need my dissertation work to go faster and have no mindspace anymore to think patiently about things in general. You can safely ignore this post altogether because it's definitely not about you. The things and people who are annoying me definitely don't know about this blog or the fact that I whine non-specifically on it. Some of them don't even know I exist. LOL

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PS: I think the main reason behind all this intolerance is that I need to finish my dissertation. Every day that passes grates on my nerves and makes me lose one more pound to sleepless anxiety, adds one more extra dimension to my nightmares. It's not pretty.

Microsoft will buy Apple.

It's not unfathomable, considering the recent camaraderie between the companies. If their common goal is putting Google down, then the merger will possibly be their best weapon against Google now acquiring a mobile hardware manufacturing company (Motorola Mobility).

If you think about it, the two companies are pretty much the same. Mac is just a glorified expensive snobbish form of the newer Windoze operating systems (with crappy hardware to boot). Maybe the merger will result in better customer service for M$ consumers and better hardware for the Crapple consumers. It's a win-win situation.

The only thing that will possibly take a nasty hit would be the fragile egos of Apple fanboys/girls. But then who give a damn about the mental health of this minuscule bunch of self-obsessed rich (or heavily in debt) snobs anyway.

I just found that I could resize all windows by pressing Alt+Right Click and totally do away with the annoying practice of carefully hovering over window margins and waiting for the resize arrow to appear.

Sweet!

Conky's gone.
So has the upper bar with active windows.

Instead the right side panel has everything I need. The rest is via the right click menu.

I have decided to cook with fewer ingredients going forward. Not only does it make it simpler to cook, it also brings out the flavour of each component.

This fun stir-fry salad had:
-- Tofu
-- Bell peppers
-- Raw onions
-- Tomatoes

Seasoned with:
-- Dried red chillies
-- Cumin
-- Olive oil
-- Basil

So there are some amazing tools on linux for pdf manipulation and I am super glad that none of them involve Adobe's evil little tools.

If you want to cut out pages or manipulate PDFs in any way, there is no other tool as powerful as pdftk

sudo apt-get install pdftk

It's a command line-heavy utility but it does its job pretty well. I am trying to learn small pdftk commands on an as-and-when-needed basis. Desperation is truly the mother of learning.

For annotation, no utility comes even close to the Wine + PDF Xchange viewer combo.

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PS: I just found out there is a gui for pdftk called... gui_pdftk but unfortunately, I have not been successful in simply deleting a page from a PDF using the gui. Using command line at least does everything reliably.

How are you supposed to decipher something like this?!

I migrated from Fedora 15 to Crunchbang once more, and hopefully for good this time. I had to deal with one-too-many hangs and quirks and finally gave up. Having had to stare at the clock all the time, not being able to maximize over the upper panel bar, losing the use of super/windows key on several shortcut combos, being stuck with a left-sided dock and poor customizability of visual elements using GUI interfaces were complete dealbreakers.

Behold my new pimped out #!.

I am pretty relieved that I don't have to deal with the eccentricity menace of Fedora 15 now. Everything just works for me on Crunchbang just as it works for (e:Paul) on Fedora.

As (e:Paul) pointed out maybe the primary trouble is the general incompatibility of ATI graphics cards with Fedora 15. Maybe someday I will be able to rip out the internals of the laptop, replace the screen with a e-reader screen, replace the graphics cards and whatnots but that someday is definitely not today or anytime close. So for now, Crunchbang is home.

Or not.

From:
Some of those edit wars may sound so ridiculous, but what I really can't believe right now is I was involved in a particularly intense one not long back and almost got banned. Nopes, totally not telling which one. That identity and IP of mine are thankfully buried forever. ;-)

And I have to say, I love that term "Sublimation". Makes singledom sound way cooler. haha

From

I have 25 pairs of footwear. I don't have a picture right now because they are not all together but I will post them here someday.

Flips Flops = 5

• Black (my latest, one of my awesome colleagues at work bought these and they were too small for her. But she thought of me before returning them! They fit me like those glass slippers fit Cinderella. Only, they are 1000x times more comfy.)
• Black with red highlights: From Chandni Chowk, Old Delhi. Just as crazy and just as cool.
• Blue beachy. I got these in Florida for $2. I was in Florida and I wasn't prepared for the beach!
• Orange Orange: I was in California and my shoes got squelchy from a massive downpour. We were near an Old Navy. $3.
• Chinese traditional knockoff: I loved the embroidery and the silk and the blingy fake stones. Washington, DC. $2.

Everyday, no-thought-involved shoes = 2

• Reds: Mary Jane sneakers. Love them. Alas they can't be worn in the winter. I love red shoes. I sometimes wish I could spray paint all my shoes red or orange or green or maybe a tasteful combo of all three colours. But can a red-orange-green combo be described as tasteful? Who knows.
• Winter boots: Wore these for 5 months straight earlier this year and last year. Workhorse of a shoe. Don't look too dressed down either. But best of all, they are light enough that they don't feel like a chore to walk in.

Sneakers = 7

• Sporty Bright white and blue: These are big at size 7.0. A whole size up from my regular feet size (which ranges from 5.5 to 6.5). But they are light and comfortable and I have danced and worked out in them. Not a big fan of how they look. They just look too sporty. They might as well have "SPORTS" flashing in neon all over them just like that sign that flashes " BOWLING" on Amherst and Elmwood.
• The 8:20s/Grey and orange: I bought these for $8.20 with tax. I remember because when I checked out of the store it was 8:20 PM (it said so on the receipt) and it was the 20th of August around 5 years back. I love these and they are almost worn out now. I live in constant fear of when they are going to split into half or some such hideous fraction.
• Greens and Whites: From home. The store clerk who fitted these shoes for me at the store stalked me across Connaught Place where I bought these. It didn't make any sense. I freaked out and took random routes to the car park to shake the trail. It was like a spy novel gone bad. They were my favourite in ROC. Don't wear them much because they are kind of worn out now. And not because the clerk was creepy.
• Blues and Greys: From home. Comfy shoes. Wear them occasionally with all the other blues and greys that dominate my wardrobe. It is the perfect shoe that gels so well with everything else that sometimes people think they are part of my trousers. Well.. not really, but that part was fun to make up.
• Spring Green Cloggy sneakers: love these and wear them often. I like that they are the green I like. But they are kind of heavy and clumsy and inflexible. I still like them but... You know, because there are always buts.
• Grey and Grey: Okay kind of sneakers. I need to replace the laces. Neither loved nor hated. They look neutral too. They are the height-of-neutral shoes out of all my 25 pairs.
• Brown and Greens: Wore this extensively everywhere. They are still going strong. Like them a lot. Occasionally grit gets into the weird elevated holes they have on the soles. Whoever thought that design up obviously was not thinking of me walking all over NYC and Florida and California and DC and Georgia and of course, Buffalo in them. Notice how I don't want to remember ROC in that list. I didn't particularly like anyone I met there except my landlady. I remember her telling me once that she liked these brown and green sneakers.

Casual work = 2

• Brown Suede Oxfords: Comfy almost-office shoe for slightly chilly weather. They are so ordinary looking. Almost everyone has had a shoe like this, I am sure. But they are so soft and unassuming. Fun to wear.
• Black square slip on: Comfy but I don't like how these look. They are too square. I simply don't need any more masculine accents in my wardrobe. For a while they were my dance shoe and the soles are still covered in Gaffer tape ((e:tinypliny,53404))

Office, currently under my workdesk = 2

• Black heel boots: I wear wherever my feet land in the morning and sometimes they land in terribly casual ones. These are back-ups-immediate-dress-up-lethal-looking-heels. They are comfortable though. At 2.5 inch a bit high, but eminently manageable. They transform however shabby I am looking. I then just need to pull out an air of sophistication to complete the effect. Of course. I often fail there because I am not sure I have that air in me anyway.
• Flowery brown hippie Mary Janes: Fun little mary janes. Dress up but casual. When they were new I had to treat their rims with coconut oil for an entire week to stop them from giving me shoe bites. It's so funny that no one knows the term "shoe bites" here. Yes. it's across-the-pond lingo for blisters caused by new shoes.

Pure Dance shoes = 2

• Salsa Suedes: I loved the dance, once upon a time. Then something happened and I totally fell out with it. I can't say it was a specific something but more like a generally depressing helplessness-related something. I bet they are still awesome dancing shoes for hard surfaces. Maybe I just need to go dancing with (e:Paul) and learn some crazy moves. :)
• Black swan: I like to call them that, but they are really quite plain split-sole white-suede-bottomed ballet shoes. The only thing that is rather odd about them is that they have a white suede bottom. Why on earth would anyone opt for white suede bottom. They attract and retain ALL the grime from whatever surface I am dancing in. It is as if they are snakecharming the dirt out of surfaces while I dance. Only they fit me like a glove and I can forget about my ballet teacher casting disapproving glances at my feet when I am wearing them.

2.5 inchers I intend wearing someday but haven't yet. = 3

• Burgundy suede: My favourite 2.5 incher. I love the colour. I have a matching scarf. Definitely the ones for the big day whenever it comes around.
• Brown fake crocodile: My least liked 2.5 incher. I bought this online. Big mistake. What in the world was I thinking. Not only do they give me shoe bites, they are also losing their gloss and get-up even though I have never worn them outside!
• Shiny burgundy: An inbetween shoe... thinking of wearing these tomorrow, but afraid I may not look like me. But I should atleast give them a chance, right? I actually want to silence the heels with fake suede strips before I wear these or any of the heels really. The horsy clippetty-clop heel-clatter sounds so much like keyboard rackets sometimes. It makes me nuts having to listen to both of these.

Need to donate = 2

• Blue heels: They are a size too big. I don't know what happened here. How did I end up getting these? My feet easily slide out of them all the time. I just can't wear them because they don't stay on. Maybe I don't know how to wear strapless heels because only the Mary Jane type of heels stay on my feet. I squarely assign the blame on the person who was with me when I bought these. I realize everyday that I don't like her so much. I don't know why I started hanging out with her in the first place. She always made me feel like crap. I don't have to deal with this anymore since she is not in Buffalo, but I still sometimes wonder how my life would have been different had I actively blocked any efforts by depressing fad-ridden people to become my friends in the first place.
• Winter shoes: I bought these for my first winter in ROC. I wore them then but they are TOO HEAVY. When I wore them it always felt like I had loads attached to my feet when I walked. In fact that was the reason I never wore them much and ended up ruining several of my 7 sneakers with the salt and snow before I realized that I really needed a proper winter shoe that I could wear without thinking and weighing the pros and cons. My current much lighter and waaaaaay more useful winter boots replaced these. These need to go. They are in perfect shape, but just not for me.

I never throw out my shoes. Maybe I need to start with the old heavy winter ones above that I am never likely to wear anymore and the blue heels that are a size too big.

I know that some people don't have any shoes to wear in this world. But then they also probably don't have any food to eat, any dress to wear, any phd to finish, any friends to hang out with, any dance class to passionately dance in, any snow to deal with, any too-dressy slightly strange non-primary intimidating advisors to contend with... or even much of estrogen.

Why did I get those 2.5 inchers? I wear them around the kitchen because the counter and sink and stove are too high for me. I could easily pull them off for 8 hours straight without whining but that's not the point. They are ridiculous. The point is it is tough to defend the shoes you own or don't own. They are sometimes necessities but they are sometimes frivolities as well. I guess a part of Imelda lives on in everyone; some have more of her than others and she is hard to evict.