So i saw the program for the concert I'm singing in in Fredonia on Sunday. And who is singing RIGHT AFTER ME but my fucking ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend. I am so pissed off. Why? Who knows. Mainly because she is definitely better than me and so she will just sound way better after I'm done because I sound fine but she is better. Everyone compares people to other people. You can't help it. Plus i will have to see her backstage and she will be the first goddamn person i see when i get offstage. Who puts two sopranos RIGHT AFTER EACH OTHER when we are the only two singers for the whole goddamn concert? I'm so pissed off. I AM SO PISSED OFF!!!!! All this hard work and preparation and now I am just pissed about the whole thing AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Happy Valentines Day, my loves! :)

Glad to have (e:anne) back on board. How many other sibling combinations do we have on (e:strip) ?

HELL YEAH NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

and YAY PEYTON!


p.s. Did anyone else notice on the closing list that there is a day care called "CAO Head Start Rubby Butts"?

Can you see the real me, Can ya, Can ya?
69 confession questions

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Someone asking me to do something fun.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
YES i hate when people don't return their carts.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
listener.

4. Do you take compliments well?
yes, and criticism too i think.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
no i tried it once but couldn't get into it

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
um, i think that depends on how hungry the wild animals are that could potentially be surrounding me.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
well, girl scout camp. and day care.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
I just asked my mom and we both said in unison "Hungry Hungry Hippos"!!!

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
nope

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
yeah I have.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
i would like to be pursued. I did ALL of the pursuing last time.

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
sensitive, caring, perceptive

15. Do any songs make you cry?
yeah

16. Are you continuing your education?
yep, next year.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
um no i guess not

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
my dogs

19. How often do you read books?
not nearly enough. i just started reading wicked but i don't really like it

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
future

21. What is your favorite children's book?
"The Best Christmas Pagaent Ever"

22. What color are your eyes?
Brahn

23. How tall are you?
5'5"

24. Where is your dream house located?
somewhere warm and european

25. Best vacay ever?
either Seattle 2003 or Paris 2005

26. Coolest picture?


27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth
i heart Frizzy's

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
last Saturday, mmmmmmm

29. How about the movies?
last Saturday as well...i saw Dream Girls

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
a church about 2 miles away

32. Do you like mustard?
Yes

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
eat

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
dad

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
5-10 minutes

36. Can you do a split?
hahaha no waaaaaaay

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
father of the bride, i love that movie and haven't seen it

39. What did you do for New Year's?
got drunk at my house, stopped by PMT's briefly, then went downtown, then to Fredonia

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
didn't see it

41. Do you laugh a lot?
i think i laugh a decent amount. (e:mike) would describe the amount a way that i refuse to.

42. Do you own a camera phone?
used to, my new one does not

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
no she played the cymbals

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
N

46. how many hours of sleep do you get a night?
like 6

47. Do you watch MTV?
don't get it. ii'm sure if i got it i would

48. Do you like care bears?
yes

49. What do you buy at the movies?
popcorn and huge drinks

50. Do you know how to play poker?
how funny you ask. i just learned today at this great website.

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
100% of the time

52. What do you wear to sleep?
lately i've been wearing a sexy sweatshirt and my favorte fredonia pajama pants

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
um, criminal activities.

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
9?

55. Is your tongue pierced?
no

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
half the time

57. Most visited webpage?
it's probably a tie between (e:strip) and Facebook

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
ummm...i'm usually the serious one, so i like funny people as long as they aren't obnoxious (but then again who likes obnoxious people)

59. Ever been to L.A.?
nope. Well, Lackawanna.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
do Teddy Grahams count?

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
no

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
mostly steal, but i have my share of itunes downloads.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
not at all

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
my parents like have never fought

65. Are you a gullible person?
sometimes?

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
no

67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
some kind of musician who gets to travel and make a ton of money doing it.

68. Are you easy to get along with?
yaaaahhhh

69. What is your favorite time of day?
hmmmmm....i think 1 pm. i'm finished teaching and the possibilities for the afternoon seem vast!!

...is definitely a pain in the ass.

but i think this person could have taken just a tad more time with theirs...

i think i'm addicted to food. i seriously can't stop eating. i mean i eat fairly healthy things but i just eat a lot of it. if anyone notices me start to double in size please let me know.

i'm also watching my american idol tape from tonight (the new york auditions). taping this show is definitely the best way to go, because you can tell when a person is going to get all emotional and angry or upset and you can choose to fast forward if you don't want to subject yourself to it. otherwise i do find this show so entertaining, and i think i might actually watch it through till the end this time.

ok i probably won't. but it's a nice thought.

i'm running in the penguin race for cradle beach camp on sunday. come join me or cheer me on!!!

happy belated birthday (e:paul) !

We were in the middle, well, the end, of High School Chorus rehearsal. It was already kind of a shitty day - girls were talking and getting annoyed with each other - and then I heard a cell phone. I ignored it for like, 10 seconds, and I really mean 10 seconds, which is a LONG time to ignore a phone ring. And it just kept going and going and then I actually saw kids laughing. So I stopped playing. And I yelled. And I took the phone away. And it wouldn't stop ringing which was somewhat amusing but made me even more frustrated. And the kids were dead silent, and terrified. I mean, I don't get angry. But for some reason, that phone pushed me over the edge. The bell rang right after that, thank God. And the girl whose phone it was, who is usually a loudmouth - a nice kid, decent singer, but an ego/attitude problem - came up to me and said she was sorry. Her voice started to crack and I could see tears forming in her eyes. I couldn't believe it! She said "I don't want to be in trouble, well I know I'm in trouble, but I don't want you to be mad at me." So I gave her a hug and told her I had to keep her phone until the end of the day and she still looked so upset, and scared, so I hugged her again. And then I walked very quickly to the faculty bathroom and burst into tears.

I know this is a big step as a teacher - letting the kids see me get very angry. And I'm sure it means something that I made her cry. It would be one thing if they saw me getting upset as a joke, but obviously that wasn't the case. This is not a girl that cries at anything!! But regardless of how big of a step this is, it still makes me feel awful. I'm sick of blaming everything on myself. I blame EVERY classroom issue on myself and the way I teach. I can't admit to myself that kids can just be plain old bad sometimes. I hate being angry. I hate that I am not a great teacher yet. I hate it. I know I'm a perfectionist and I'm too hard on myself but I hate not knowing everything. I mean that sounds ridiculous but it's true. I hate it. When will it all be easier?!?!

I gave my first detention today!

Going to the nurse's office, my a*%!!!!

i hate ex-boyfriends.





particularly mine.






i need a distraction.





something other than teaching or running.




or someone.