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12/11/06 12:36 - 42ºF - ID#24708

Cow 'Emissions' > Car Exhaust

Its not a lie. That is, unless, you don't trust the U.N. and the Environmental Editor of The Independent (UK), which is hardly 'independent' about the issue of global warming.

A United Nations report has singled out cattle as the world's number one threat to climate, forests and wildlife - more than cars, more than anything else. The most startling thing about the report is that livestock produce more than 2/3s of the worlds ammonia, one of the main causes of acid rain.

So what are we to do now, kill all the cows?

EDIT - I saw saw (e:Peter)'s pictures. Can I skip the nice guy routine and just put it to you ladies in a stereotypical 'guy' way for once?

MY GAWD did you girls look sexy on Saturday! I'm talking stunner sexy. I wish I would have been there to pay out some compliments in person. (e:imk2) I have no idea who would possibly be that rude but to put it bluntly... well I thought about it and I'm not sure I can say what I want to say without it sounding or reading like an article out of Hustler. I'll just say that I can't respect a guy who would gasp before he would consider grabbing at 'em.
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12/07/06 10:24 - 26ºF - ID#24707

For the first time

I deleted a journal entry yesterday because it got around that the girl I met the other day may/may not have a BF, and as a result I got a flood of texts and drama yesterday. She tells me she's single, her friend says otherwise... I don't know what to believe so I'm just going to forget about it for now. In all honesty I'm feeling great being by myself and I sure as hell don't need any of this additional bullshit in my life! If she wants to hang out that is fine, but I am making no moves for now.

I had possibly one of the worst days of my life yesterday. I drank on an empty stomach on Tues. night and I paid for it in spades yesterday. I was constantly vomiting, I felt dehydrated, I couldn't keep any liquid down so I sure as hell wasn't going to try to eat. This continued all day until I went to bed at about 10pm. I wonder if I got some kind of minor form of alcohol poisoning - I've been hung over many times but this was simply on another level. Hell, its been 36 hours since I stopped drinking and I still feel weird.

I was going to go booze it up this weekend but I think its more prudent for me to stay home and drink Pepsi!
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12/08/06 11:04 - 25ºF - ID#24706

Don't be this guy

Tomorrow you don't want to be this guy -

image

Or maybe you might. In any case this is humiliating and you do not want a fellow partygoer 'hanging brains' on your forehead. Watch that booze intake!



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12/08/06 04:27 - 27ºF - ID#24705

US Soccer Federation

Sunil Gulati and his bureaucratic cronies blew it for us - Klinsmann pulled his name out of the running for our Men's National Team coach.

If you don't care about soccer this is utterly meaningless for you, but for someone like me who is a rabid Chelsea and US Men's National Team supporter this is disasterous. DISASTEROUS I SAY!

In your mind would an economist be suitable for running a national soccer program? This doesn't defy logic... there simply isn't any logic at all. That is like suggesting that a computer programmer is qualified to run a music school - there is absolutely no immediate (or otherwise...) qualification for a person like Sunil Gulati to be anchoring a national sports program.

I spend the hours of 10am-2pm every Saturday and the hours of 11am-1pm on Sunday, without fail, in front of my TV watching matches broadcast from England and Italy. There is absolutely nothing short of a family death that would keep me from doing this. I love it - its the one of the things that makes me happy. Right now Sunil Gulati is not making me happy.

Anyway, TGIF. Time to go scoop (e:jason) out of his cutting edge IT tech farm on Grand Island. Until later peeps.

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12/04/06 11:30 - 27ºF - ID#24704

Britney's Kitty Kat and Herpes Meds

Britney Spears - 4 years ago every guy my age (and older!) wanted to have sex with her. Now there is nothing left to the imagination, we know that she is trashy and at this point the only way I could possibly have sex with her is to concentrate on the money. Does Britney Spears still qualify as MILF? Money I'd Like to Fuck.

I am watching the Science Channel and I just saw an ad for genital herpes medication. Commercials during the day are far more colorful. Of course, every medicine nowadays has several different caveats they have to throw in to avoid lawsuits. Today's took me by surprise - they suggest that the medicine makes it possible to lower the chance that you would pass genital herpes on to your partner..... BUT! *Tested for heterosexuals only.* I'm not exactly sure about what the purpose is of putting this in there and I'm not exactly sure about whether or not this should be considered offensive. You all know that I'm the LAST person around here to be too P.C. or to worry about what is offensive and what isn't. Is this caveat put in there just in case some gay couples try the medicine and it doesn't work, since they didn't test it for gay couples? Is this supposed to suggest that the medicine doesn't work for gay couples at all? That last thought it what gets to me... it is this permutation that I think is ridiculous. Is it possible that if a gay couple tried it and it didn't work, that they would sue over it? How is this any different than if a hetero couple tried it and it didn't work?

"Well, Mr. Larson, the difference is that we only did a study conducted with heterosexual couples."

I find it impossible that a company dumping a figure with 8 or more 0's behind it into development of a herpes drug that they couldn't spend a little more time to test it on different types of couples. Doing their homework would basically eliminate the need for lawyers to insist on CYA mode when you make the damn commercial.

I hate lawyers and I don't know why I considered law school.
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Category: music

11/29/06 02:10 - ID#24703

My Music Collection

People ask me what I listen to all the time. Now people can find out - the following are the MP3s on Jasontron. (e:jason) hates the fact that I am constantly procuring music and storing it on his computer.

The following is a list of what I have in digital format. By no means is this a complete list as I have hundreds of CDs collecting dust currently. Particularly in the classical area - I easily have double or triple the amount than what is listed here. I just haven't ripped any of the music yet.

A caveat - while this is broken down by category I know that I have some of this in the wrong category. For example, Jagga Jazzist really shouldn't be in "electronic."

Favorite name for an album - Herbie Hancock's "Thrust"
Most unfortunate name for an album - DJ Shadow's "Preemptive Strike" (Shadow is anti-war)

Anyway, here it is. If you feel like I'm missing something incredibly important by all means let me know.

Classical


Copland - Suites and Sketches (The Tender Land, Three Latin-American Sketches, The Red Pony)
Segovia - The Early Studio Recordings (1927 - 1939)
Antal Dorati Conducts Kodaly and Bartok
Bela Fleck - Perpetual Motion
Bernstein NYPO - Shostakovich Symphonies #5 and #9
California Guitar Trio - Rocks The West
Canadian Brass - English Renaissance Music
Chopin - Complete Nocturnes and Impromptus
Copland - Four Dance Episodes from "Rodeo"
Copland - Symphony #3
Eastman Wind Ensemble - Live in Osaka
Frank Zappa - The Yellow Shark
George Gershwin - American Master
Hindemith - Mathis der Maler
Bach (Kings College Cambridge) - Magnificat
Bach - Goldberg Variations
Bernstein NYPO - Copland Appalachian Spring
Los Angeles Guitar Quartet - Dances from Renaissance to Nutcracker
Los Angeles Guitar Quartet - For Thy Pleasure
Mahler - Symph. #1
Mahler - Symph. #2
Meridian Arts Ensemble - Visions of the Renaissance
Music of Percy Grainger
North Texas Wind Symphony - Wind Dances
Piano Music of Debussy
Piano Music of Ravel
Piano Music by Chopin, Rachmaninoff, Scriabin
Piano Music of Chopin
Rachmaninoff - Etudes Tableaux
Robert Shaw Chamber Singers - Songs of Angels
Samuel Barber - Medea
Satie - Piano Works
Shostakovich - 24 Preludes and Fugues, Op. 87
The Cambridge Singers, John Rutter - English Madrigal music
The Lighter Side of the Fine Arts Brass Ensemble
The Most Beautiful Waltzes of Johann Strauss
A Tribute to William Schuman (Gerard Schwarz, Seattle Symphony)
Wynton Marsalis - Carnaval


Electronic


Air - Moon Safari
Air - Premiers Symptomes
Air - Talkie Walkie
Air - The Virgin Suicides
Aphex Twin - Analord 1-11
Boards of Canada - Acid Memories
Boards of Canada - As Hell Interface
Boards of Canada - Boc Maxima
Boards of Canada - Geogaddi
Boards of Canada - Hi Scores EP
Boards of Canada - In A Beautiful Place Out In The Country
Boards of Canada - Music Has The Right To Children
Boards of Canada - Peel Session
Boards of Canada - The Campfire Headphase
Boards of Canada - Trans Canada Highway
Boards of Canada - Twoism
Bonobo - Animal Magic
Bonobo - Live at Nietzsche's 7-7-05
Cornelius - Point
Daft Punk - Discovery
Four Tet - Dialogue
Gorillaz - Demon Days
Jagga Jazzist - What We Must
Lazlo Hollyfeld - Live at McGharrets 4-11-05
Lazlo Hollyfeld - Live at Nectar's 12-15-05
Lazlo Hollyfeld - The Pacer EP
Prefuse 73 - One Word Extinguisher
Prefuse 73 - Security Screenings
Prefuse 73 - Surrounded By Silence
Prefuse 73 - Vocal Studies and Uprock Narratives
Sun Ra - Otherness
Tortoise - It's All Around You
Tortoise - Millions Now Living Will Never Die
William Orbit - Pieces In A Modern Style



Folk



America - Greatest Hits
Bela Fleck - Drive
Bela Fleck - The Bluegrass Sessions - Tales from the Acoustic Planet
Ben Harper - Both Sides of the Sun
Crosby, Stills and Nash - Box Set
Crosby, Stills and Nash - Crosby, Stills and Nash
Crosby, Stills Nash and Young - Deja Vu
Dave Matthews - Some Devil
Dave Matthews Band - Before These Crowded Streets
Dave Matthews Band - Crash
Dave Matthews Band - Lillywhite Sessions
Dave Matthews Band - Live at Red Rocks 8-15-95
Dave Matthews Band - Recently
Dave Matthews Band - Remember Two Things
Josh Rouse - Nashville
Michael Hedges - Aerial Boundaries
Michael Hedges - Live on the Double Planet
Michael Hedges - Watching My Life Go By
Nick Drake - Made To Love Magic
Nick Drake - Time Of No Reply
Simon and Garfunkel - Greatest Hits
Sufjan Stevens - Greetings From Michigan; The Great Lake State
Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
Sufjan Stevens - Seven Swans
The Byrds - 20 Essential Tracks



Hip to the Hop


A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Mauraders
A Tribe Called Quest - The Anthology
Bahamadia - BB Queen EP
Beastie Boys - To The 5 Boroughs
Bobby Digital
Camp Lo - Uptown Saturday Night
Chamilllionaire - Chamillitary
Common - Electric Circus
Common - Like Water For Chocolate
DJ Muggs vs. GZA - Grandmasters
DJ Shadow - Endtroducing
DJ Shadow - Preemptive Strike
DJ Shadow - The Private Press
Dr. Dre - The Chronic
Eminem - The Eminem Show
Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere
Grand Theft Audio
GZA - Liquid Swords
Hive - Working With Sound
Illy B - Drop The Needle
Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Madlib - Blunted In The Bomb Shelter Mix
Madlib - Shades of Blue
Madvillian - Madvilliany
Method Man - Tical
Mobb Deep - Murda Musik
Mos Def - Black on Both Sides
Mos Def and Talib Kweli - Black Star
Nas - Illmatic
Nas - It Was Written
Outkast - Aquemini
Outkast - Atliens
Outkast - Southernplayalisticcadillacfunkymusic
Outkast - SpeakerBoxxx, The Love Below
Outkast - Stankonia
Paul Wall - How To Be A Player
Paul Wall & Chamillioinaire - Get Ya Mind Correct
Quasimoto - Further Adventures of Lord Quas
Quasimoto - The Unseen
Redman - Docs Da Name
Reflection Eternal - Train of Thought
Soundbombing 2
Swishahouse Presents - Choppin Em Up 9
The Diplomats - Diplomatic Immunity 2
The Neptunes - Clones
Unkle - Psyence Fiction
Wu-Tang Clan - Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
Wu-Tang Clan - The W
Yesterday's New Quintet - Angles Without Edges


Jazz, Funk



Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - Outbound
Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - The Hidden Land
Bill Evans - The Solo Sessions Volume 1
Bill Evans Trio - Sunday At The Village Vanguard
Chet Baker - Chet
Chet Baker - Chet Baker In Milan
Chet Baker - Chet Baker In New York
Chet Baker - Chet Baker Plays The Best of Lerner & Loewe
Chet Baker - Chet Baker Sings, Plays
Chet Baker - Chet Baker With Fifty Italian Strings
Chet Baker - It Could Happen To You
Chet Baker - Lonely Star
Chet Baker - On A Misty Night
Chet Baker - Once Upon A Summertime
Chet Baker - Out Of Nowhere
Chet Baker - Stairway To The Stars
Chet Baker - Stella By Starlight
Chet Baker - The Art Of The Ballad
Chet Baker - Witch Doctor
Chick Corea - Live IN Montreux
Christian Scott - Rewind That
David Axelrod - Seriously Deep
David Axelrod - The Axelrod Chronicles
Diana Krall - When I Look In Your Eyes
Don Ellis - Electric Bath
Don Ellis - Live At Monterrey
Don Ellis - Live at The Fillmore
Don Ellis - New Ideas
Don Ellis - Tears of Joy
Don Ellis - Live in 3 2/3 Time
Glenn Miller Orchestra - In The Christmas Mood
Herbie Hancock - Empyrean Isles
Herbie Hancock - Head Hunters
Herbie Hancock - Thrust
Isaac Hayes - At Wattstax
Jamiroquai - Dynamite
Joey DeFrancesco - Organic Vibes
John Coltrane - Afro Blue Impressions
John Coltrane - Blue Trane
John Coltrane - First Meditations
John Coltrane - Giant Steps
John Coltrane - The Complete Africa Brass Sessions
John Scofield - A Go Go
John Scofield - Up All Night
John Scofield Band - Uberjam
Joshua Redman - Spirit Of The Moment (Live at the Village Vanguard)
Karl Denson's Tiny Universe
Medeski, Martin & Wood - Combustication
Medeski, Martin & Wood - End of the World Party (Just In Case)
Medeski, Martin & Wood - Tonic
Medeski, Martin & Wood - Uninvisible
Medeski, Martin, Scofield & Wood - Out Louder
Miles Davis - Bags' Groove
Miles Davis - Big Fun
Miles Davis - Blue Haze
Miles Davis - Blue Moods
Miles Davis - Bluing... Miles Davis Plays The Blues
Miles Davis - Collector's Items
Miles Davis - Jazz Showcase
Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
Miles Davis - Miles
Miles Davis - Miles Davis And Horns
Miles Davis - Miles Davis And The Jazz Giants
Miles Davis - Miles Davis And The Lighthouse All-Stars... At Last!
Miles Davis - Miles Davis And The Modern Jazz Giants
Miles Davis - Miles Davis Quintet, Sextet Featuring Milt Jackson
Miles Davis - Our Delight
Miles Davis - Steamin' With The Miles Davis Quintet
Miles Davis - The Complete Birth of The Cool
Miles Davis - The Musings Of Miles
Miles Davis - Workin'
Miles Davis and John Coltrane - Live in New York
Pink Martini - Hang On Little Tomato
Pink Martini - Sympathique
Stan Kenton - Cuban Fire
The Big Payback
The J.B.'s - Funky Good Time Anthology
Vince Guaraldi Trio - Charlie Brown Christmas


Reggae


Bob Marley - Natural Mystic
Bob Marley - Natural Mystic II
Bob Marley & The Wailers - Exodus
Bob Marley & The Wailers - The Complete Upsetter Singles 1970-1972



Rock




Alkaline Trio - Goddamnit
Apollo Sunshine - Apollo Sunshine
Architecture In Helsinki - Fingers Crossed
Architecture In Helsinki - In Case We Die
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever You Say I am Thats What I Am Not
Bad Religion - Suffer
Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First
Badly Drawn Boy - The Hour of Bewilderbeast
Beach Boys - Endless Summer
Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour
Beatles - Rubber Soul
Beck - Mutations
Beck - Sea Change
Belle and Sebastian - Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Belle and Sebastian - If YOu're Feeling Sinister
Belle and Sebastian - The Boy With The Arab Strap
Belle and Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
Belle and Sebastian - Tigermilk
Billy Joel - Greatest Hits
Bjork - Homogenic
Boston - Greatest Hits
Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People
Built To Spill - You In Reverse
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay - Parachutes
Coldplay - X & Y
Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlantacism
Desaparecidos - Read Music Speak Spanish
Doves - Lost Sides
Doves - Lost Souls
Doves - Some Cities
Doves - The Last Broadcast
Explosions in the Sky - The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
Foo Fighters - One By One
Fountains of Wayne - Welcome Interstate Managers
Frank Zappa - Absolutely Free
Frank Zappa - Chunga's Revenge
Frank Zappa - Freak Out!
Frank Zappa - Hot Rats
Frank Zappa - One Size Fits All
Frank Zappa - Uncle Meat
Frank Zappa - We're Only In It For The Money
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Fugazi - 13 Songs
Godspeed You Black Emperor - Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven
Godspeed You Black Emperor - Yanqui U.X.O
Gov't Mule - Deja Voodoo
Gov't Mule - Gov't Mule
Gov't Mule - The Deep End, Vol. 1
Gov't Mule - The Deep End, Vol. 2
Grateful Dead - American Beauty
Grateful Dead - Blues For Allah
Grateful Dead - One From The Vault
Grateful Dead - Workingman's Dead
Green Day - American Idiot
Hum - Downward Is Heavenward
Interpol - Antics
Iron & Wine - In The Reins
Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days
Jefferson Airplane - Live at Fillmore East
Jefferson Airplane - Surrealistic Pillow
Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat
Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
Keane - Hopes and Fears
Keane - Under The Iron Sea
Led Zeppelin - IV
Morrissey - The Best Of Morrisey (Suedehead)
My Morning Jacket - Z
Neil Young - Greatest Hits
Oasis - Acoustic Collection
Oasis - Definitely Maybe
Oasis - Familiar to Millions
Oasis - Masterplan
Oasis - MTV Unplugged
Oasis - Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants
Pennywise - Full Circle
Pennywise - Land Of The Free
Phish - A Live One
Phish - A Picture Of Nectar
Phish - Dark Side Of The Moon
Phish - Farmhouse
Phish - Hoist
Phish - Junta
Phish - Lawn Boy
Phish - Live In Brooklyn
Phish - Rift
Phish - The Story Of The Ghost
Phish - The Siket Disc
Pinback - Blue Screen Life
Pinback - Summer in Abaddon
Pink Floyd - A Saucerful of Secrets
Pink Floyd - Animals
Pink Floyd - Atom Heart Mother
Pink Floyd - Dark Side Of The Moon
Pink Floyd - Meddle
Pink Floyd - More
Pink Floyd - Obscured By Clouds
Pink Floyd - The Final Cut
Pink Floyd - The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn
Pink Floyd - The Wall
Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
Radiohead - Amnesiac
Radiohead - Com Lag EP
Radiohead - Hail to the Thief
Radiohead - Kid A
Radiohead - OK Computer
Radiohead - On A Friday Demo
Radiohead - Pablo Honey
Radiohead - The Bends
Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
Richard Ashcroft - Human Conditions
Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous
Saves The Day - Stay What You Are
Saves The Day - Through Being Cool
Sea And Cake - Oui
Sigur Ros - Takk
Sloan - Pretty Together
Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation
Steely Dan - Aja
Stereolab - Dots and Loops
Stereolab - Emperor Tomato Ketchup
stereolab - Margerine Eclipse
Stereolab - Mars Audiac Quintet
Stereolab - Switched On
Super Numeri - Great Aviaries
Super Numeri - The Welcome Table
Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends
Talking Heads - Speaking In Tongues
Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense
Talking Heads - The Name Of This Band Is Talking Heads
The Arcade Fire - Funeral
The Eagles - Greatest Hits
The Flaming Lips - At War With The Mystics
The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin
The Killers - Hot Fuss
The Killers - Sam's Town
The Magic Numbers - The Magic Numbers
The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
The Postal Service - Give Up
The Replacements - Let It Be
The Replacements - Pleased To Meet Me
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
The Shins - Oh, Inverted World
The Strokes - First Impressions of Earth
The Strokes - Is This It
The Strokes - Room On Fire
The Verve - Urban Hymns
Thom Yorke - The Eraser
Travis - The Man Who
Treble Charger - Wide Awake Bored
U2 - The Joshua Tree
We Are Scientists - With Love and Squalor
Weezer - Green Album
Weezer - Pinkerton
Weezer - Maladroit
Weezer - Pinkerton
Weezer - The Lion and the Witch
Weezer - Blue Album
White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan
Wilco - Summerteeth
Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Zwan - Mary Star of the Sea
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11/28/06 03:37 - ID#24702

Oh please.

Abortions are up in the UK as the 'stigma' behind getting an abortion is diminishing.

Ms Furedi said there had been a shift in public opinion about parenthood. The stigma of abortion had diminished but there was now concern about being a poor parent. "Parenting is considered to be very important and is taken seriously these days," she said. "The idea of just drifting into unplanned motherhood is seen not to be a good thing and you could argue that among many groups of people in society abortion is seen as a more responsible response to being a victim of uncontrolled fertility," she said.

This type of crap really gets up my nose. "Drifting" into unplanned parenthood? "Victim of uncontrolled fertility?"

What a load of non-sensical bullshit. Sorry, but if you are pregnant, chances are high that the last thing you are is a victim. Oops - I slipped on the floor and some guys dick accidently jammed up my vagina! The only thing drifting here is, apparently, the British peoples collective ability to take responsibility for their actions. Why bother being responsible when you can simply have a half-developed baby pulled out of your uterus into the birth canal and have a hole drilled in its skull, or better yet, have the head removed entirely? That sure beats the "Get Out Of Jail Free" card in Monopoly. Please don't make me post abortion pictures, complete with eyeballs.

Sorry, feminists and abortion activists - you'll never convince me on this one. This is not about control, its about convenience. Abortion is among the most barbaric practices we employ and as far as I'm concerned it is among the darkest of dark parts of humanity.

Anyway, this entry really isn't about my seething hatred for abortion. Its about my seething hatred for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

image

See you in hell, Toronto! I truly hate the Toronto Maple Leafs. There is no club in the NHL that feels more entitled to be a marquis team. Results do not matter - heritage does! Based on history, the Canadiens have more of a claim to stake on which is a more prominent hockey franchise. Many Maple Leafs fans deride the "new" NHL because it makes these lumbering, oafish Canadian boys obsolete in the professional ranks of their own game. Lets be honest, if Tie Domi didn't have the Maple Leaf tit to suckle off of all these years he'd likely be bailing hay in Alberta. So would a plethora of other so-called athletes in the NHL. Guys like Don Cherry (an enjoyable character to be sure) actually treat players from Quebec, such as Briere and Pominville, as if they aren't Canadian at all. Apparently, according to Toronto Maple Leaf fans, if you aren't playing rugby on ice you are not playing hockey.

Lying, cheating, racism, whining, crying, delusions of grandeur, entitlement - this is why Toronto can never win another Stanley Cup.

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11/22/06 02:58 - ID#24701

Holiday Menu

Roasted Honey-Brined Turkey Breast (with Herbes de Provence!)
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry orange relish
Turkey gravy w/mirepoix
Assorted veggies (corn, green beans, sweet potato)
Pumpkin pie

Wegmans makes it easy, even for me!
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11/21/06 11:39 - ID#24700

Awww


image

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11/21/06 05:39 - 38ºF - ID#24699

No Swedes, No Turkey


No Swedes, No Turkey
Nov 20 4:59 PM US/EASTERN
By Joshua Larson
BSP Cultural and Political Editor

After 27 consecutive years of Thanksgiving Day dining amongst friends and family at the Larson family retreat in Jamestown, Jason and Joshua Larson are finding themselves out in the cold.

"I believe that this is an ill-conceived concept," said Joshua Larson after learning of the barren wasteland that will be his Thanksgiving Day plate. "I can't see how Dad is going to deal with Grandma during a 3-hour drive to the home of my uncle and leave us here in Buffalo because Jason has a rigid work commitment."

Jason Larson was too distraught to make a comment.

For years the Larson home has been a bountiful harvest of the flavors, colors, sights and smells of what is arguably one of the best holidays on the American calendar. One Buffalo resident and confidant of the Larsons, Mr. Gerald L. Vinciguerra Jr., is equally traumatized by what seems to be a lack of holiday flair at his own home.

"The Larsons might be getting their turkey on Saturday rather than Thursday, but at least it will be home made; I'll be sliding my turkey off of a buffet table at the Holiday Inn," remarked Vinciguerra.

Clearly disgruntled, Mr. Vinciguerra recalled the wistful, halcyon days of bountiful dessert tables, beautiful table settings and bursting belt buckles. "Apparently the 'old days' started 364 days after last Thanksgiving," Vinciguerra cooly remarked.

Hardly chefs, the Larson brothers will be forced to fend for themselves on Thanksgiving Day for the first time in their lives. Larson stated, "I have an idea of what to do here. I'm thinking about getting a pumpkin pie, some cornbread, some vegetables, some coffee, a marinated pork tenderloin and a shoulder to cry on."
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