Joshua John Larson --
[adjective]:

Fuzzy to the touch

My connection into Atlanta was late so I'm stranded at the Holiday Inn until tomorrow... at Deltas expense. I hate Delta more than I hate UPS now. At least the hotel has a bar.

Ok Paul, I apologize. You know that I think that you and the M and the T in PMT are good dudes, so when I read what you wrote I was completely shocked - that is no easy feat! That of course spurred my own outburst, and I'm not too proud to say that I'm ashamed that I said what I did. I'm glad that you explained the backstory because that definitely sheds some light on why you said what you did - I appreciate it. I'm a lover, not a fighter... people do things because they are committed to it for their own reasons, but to want to kill somebody just because they want to know what it feels like - that is fairly scary.

Allow me to be facetious for just one second. If people want to find out what its like to kill another human being, they should try it on a household pet first. If your shame and guilt reflex don't kick in after killing a cat or a dog then its probably safe to say that you don't have a soul and you'll have no problem killing another human being.

I always like seeing new people sign up - hopefully the site will serve whatever purpose you'd like it to serve.

I signed Dragonfires petition, but then I slid down the list and Mike Niman is on the list! Now you KNOW for damn sure that when his name and mine are on the same petition that something is incredibly, incredibly wrong.

Todays flight was 3.5 hours from Newark to Kansas City... which is ok unless you were on a small jet... like I was! Continental has an Express service that uses the Embraer 145... its a jet 3 seats across and sits about 50 people. At least I took my brothers new Nano 2GB for a test run (FUCK UPS but you all know that story already) and it passed with flying colors! My flight had a pair of blonde twins, which if you know me and my brother always makes me smile. Unfortunately for these twins though, the parents are training these kids to be mamas boys... they are destined to be sucking their thumbs when they are 20 and I felt horrible about it. Memo to future fathers - don't ignore your young sons or your wife is going to be having your young male progeny watching the Home and Garden Channel!

Anyway, have fun.

I was so pissed earlier today that I was ready to convert my body to nuclear energy and explode. I've gone to the mall on multiple occasions this past week to buy a hardshell plastic case for my new iPod video 30GB jobby. They NEVER have this crap in stock. They scratch easily so I've been megaparanoid about handling it... in fact I've only taken it out of the packaging once. I've ordered the case that I wanted directly from the manufacturer also, and its on the way... but it was supposed to be delivered Tuesday and they decided to delay it a week because somehow UPS left the package in a warehouse in LA for a full six days!!! I contacted UPS but they haven't returned my e-mails. I wasn't even that nasty to them.... honest. All I really want to do is bring my iPod with me on my trip this week and I can't because I will not travel with it without the case. At least I know that I have 6.5GB loaded on it so I have a good head start on tunes whenever it is that I get my case... which according to UPS recent estimates is going to be the 20th.... while I'm gone. FUCK YOU UPS. I'm going FedEx, DHL, USPS, whatever isn't UPS from now on.

I met my buddy and a couple recent acquaintances for lunch at Sahara Grill today. I had a falafel and a pot of turkish coffee. I like their food but I'm starting to think that it isn't really sparkling wow awesome great. Besides us four, there were two other people in the restaurant and we had to wait 45 minutes for our food - that is unacceptable. Next power lunch - India Gate!

I've been tuning my resume up in the hopes of finding something else. According to my Chinese horoscope, the months of March through July are especially productive for my type (Horse) to find another job! Amazing. Actually, reading the description of the Horse sent chills down my spine... I am that person. That is, if you believe in such things... but its interesting nevertheless.

Valentine's Day was interesting. I went to Cecelia's with a buddy to have a drink while we waited for his friend to call - we were the only two in the place that were not a couple. I drank some scotch, so usually when I have scotch scotch scotch looooove scotch I'm having a good time regardless.

I ended up performing my wingman duties to absolute perfection, as always. Somehow I spent $50 yesterday... which I refuse to believe I actually did spend. I had to have left a $10 bill or something somewhere! Don't you hate that? We were at Caputi's - a bar that is infamous for being lame and too 'burbish. The ONLY reason why I went was to help a buddy thats trying to help himself. Guys never go out alone when they are meeting a girl and her friends - thats like a sheep wandering into a pack of wolves. The girl my buddy is sort of dealing with now is very nice, but her choice in bars is absolutely terrible. Last week, I wingmanned for my same buddy at JP Bullfeathers. I'm going to start insisting on going to bars that are actually cool if I wingman again soon.

I came home to a card last night, which I thought was very nice (thank you Timika!), but what I didn't know was that there were cookies next to the card, which I was too drunk to notice. Thanks again!

People that say V-Day is like any other day are liars. It has enormous economic impact for certain segments in our economy, and the beauty of the whole thing is that its completely made up! V-Day is like a spectator sport for me nowadays - you get to see all the dopes with their arm candy spending a lot of money to atone for their, shall we say, "transgressions" during the rest of the year. V-Day is absolute rubbish. Getting engaged or married on V-Day is fromage du jour. I don't need an excuse to have a good meal, get my drink on and my fuck on. Still, however, you have to admit that a restaurant on V-Day looks like a house filled with zombies!

So I finally decided that my hair was far too long.... FAR too long. So I got up this morning and went to Style Lab up the street. I haven't actually paid for a haircut in oh.... 4 years. As a result I didn't know where to go, and since I was going to the bank anyway, I decided that this was the place.

I got what is probably the shortest cut I've ever gotten. I wanted to retain some length so that I could style it, and I can pretty much style it the way it is now, but its very short. When its cold out, short is the enemy!

Anyway, between the cut, the tip, and this new styling putty it was a $35 endeavor. Dude put something that smelled like pineapple in my hair, but this other stuff that I bought smells better. At least that is what the girl at the register told me! Haha.

P.S. I changed my usersound to "Alex Chilton" by The Replacements. While I very much want a cool political usersound I'm kind of unsatisfied with the one I have (except for the part with Janet Reno sounding like Chewbacca). Until then we'll go with the rock and the roll.

Actually I think (e:ajay) prompting the V-Day discussion was interesting because everybody has something interesting to say about V-Day, regardless of whether or not it was good or bad. (e:ryan) piping up about his best and worst prompted me to think to myself, "Self, what are your best and worst V-Days ever?"

In all honesty I can't think of a bad V-Day, because during the times I had a significant other it was always great, and when I wasn't with somebody at the time it was always great. Theres never a good reason to have a bad V-Day, because at the very least you can always go out that night, drink and chase booty. That = a good night for me every time.

I'm not a terribly sentimental person, so I usually end up buying gifts that they'll enjoy - chocolates are a must, expensive lotions, etc. - you get the idea. I want to get things that she'll actually enjoy. Believe it or not, I know a guy that gave his girlfriend a framed picture of himself for a V-Day gift! That to me is hilarious, but I'd never get caught screwing up that badly. Also, and this might upset a few ladies out there - a major, major faux pas is purchasing a girl that isn't your wife or fiancee some jewelry. Gents, don't waste that resource on a girl that isn't a keeper.

I'll be blunt - V-Day for me usually involves three things - 1) a nice dinner, 2) drinks, and 3) screwing. These three simple ingredients yield an excellent V-Day every time. Its like making pasta - seasoned water, pasta, and sauce. Its VERY hard to mess it up.

Now I'm sure you're thinking, "Damn Josh, you're right about that - but isn't that kind of cold and the diametric opposite of sentimental for a day as special as V-Day?" Yeah, you're right, but like I said, I'm not a sentimental person. Plus, I'm not one of those fellas that needs to make up for being a jerk the rest of the year. Despite my prickly demeanor when it comes to politics (with emphasis on the "prick" part) I'm actually a sweetheart year round.

Now, onto some news!

1) Envirofascists - here is another reason for us to stifle and progress with actual, feasible energy sources. New, rare birds! -

2) Ut Oh! NBC anchor perpetuates the stereotype that white people think all black people look alike -

3) Less money for CPB - oh suuuure, its not a liberal bastion. BAHAHAHAHAH *cough* HAHAHAHHAHAHAH -

4) First, video games are supposedly making kids more violent. Now CSI, according to law enforcement, are making criminals better at what they do! -

5) "Global warming" advocates still can't figure out whether they think "global warming" is actually cooling or warming the planet... which is a source of much laughter for me. Anyhow, you'll be curious to see why it is that this scientist thinks an ice age is coming along - I'll give you a hint. Its not because of anything humans are doing! -

I'm just saying... you take Janine Garofalo, or whatever crunchy granola, bushy hairpie furry animals the libs have. I'm sticking with Monica Crawley.



I usually thoroughly enjoy being right, but this is one of the times that I am not particularly enjoying being right.

I'll bite on this one. The issue is completely being missed, with the exception of a couple enlightened people, myself included.

The big issue isn't the freedom of the press! The minute that the press gets itself into trouble, like it has recently in Europe, the minute that somebody criticizes their ignorant and very poor behavior people start waving the flag of "freedom of expression." You simply cannot incite and enrage 1 billion people and dismiss it as "their problem" because, in your estimation, they are being hypersensitive and are somehow infringing on your ability to say what you want. That = horseshit. Nobody with a brain actually buys that very poor argument.

Here is the point that people are missing - you have the freedom to say whatever you want, but you had better not be stupid enough to assume that by acting like an idiot in print journalism that you won't suffer consequences. A perfect example - Newsweekgate this past year. As a journalist, you are free to say what you like - but the foolishness going on in Europe right now is going to lead directly to innocent Europeans getting kidnapped and/or killed... all in the name of their insatiable, unending desire to impune religion. The radical Muslims that are sure to exact some sort of revenge are wrong for acting like they surely will as well... but the sad truth about that is that these moronic European journalists had to have known that this was going to happen before they went ahead and did what they did.

This issue only magnifies and proves as fact that Europe is asleep at the wheel regarding religion and how it relates to the Muslim world. There simply is no justification for actively trying to incite an entire culture like these journalists are doing - hiding behind freedom of expression concerning this issue is tantamount to justifying stupidity. Somebody who doesn't deserve it is going to suffer, and be forced to pay a dear price because of the collective ignorance of European journalism.

Oh damn... the one time where I really needed that digicam! Today we were in Lexington, NC - the self-styled "barbeque capital of the world." BBQ being the one thing that I'll stop whatever I'm doing to check out, we got a recommendation from one of the locals.... there are 20 BBQ restaurants in an area about the size of oh.... South Buffalo. So we went to a place called Monk's - which actually didn't have a sign and we only knew it was the right place because of two things - 1) our directions, and 2) the 50 freaking cars in the parking lot!

Anyhow, the reason why I needed the cam because this meal was legitimately the LEAST appealing meal, as far as looks go, that I've had in all my travels. The meat was excellent - it was cooked over hickory and coals for 9 hours, with no basting - true Lexington-style BBQ. The problem was that the plate was divided into thirds - meat that was chopped and looked loosely like barf, coleslaw that was red and ugly (but tasty), and beans. The BBQ sauce that Lexington swears by is not very good - its very vinegary and no smoke flavor. Carolina BBQ is strictly about the pork, but to be honest I just like the pulled pork sandwiches with some thick-ass, molasses like BBQ sauce. To me, what I had today was definitely sub-par, and what you'll find in Texas or K.C. is 100x better.

Anyhow, and I know I've said this a thousand times but it can't ever be said enough... the women here are so sweet, you just want to lap them up. Its crazy. If there is any woman that can convince me to marry it would probably be a Southerner.