i fell asleep with my fake green contacts in my eyes last night. and then woke up in the middle of the night with glassy sand in my eyes and was crawling in pain to the bathroom to try to fish those dry sandpapery things out. ugh....pain i tell ya.

i love (e:terry)'s penis!

I'm not sure if you've already seen this, but I just got an email today from M.A.C. with this inside.

Hello Kity Koture
















Thought you might be interested.

come on guys! no one has anything to say about the last post other than (e:paul), (e:metalpeter) and i??? no discussion, no suggestions, no input? or is it that no one really wants to comment, hoping it will stay under the radar and just goes away?

let me begin this rant with an admission than other than myself, i have no clue how much anyone in particular has or hasn't contributed to the site, lately or ever. i do, however, know that donations other than for the server drive, are pretty dismal and certainly do not begin to cover the costs associated with running estrip each month.

(paul, maybe you can make the amount of donations received, past and current, public. i know you publicly kept track of the server donations, but maybe keeping the donor anonymous but just the amount received public, would be a better idea?)

seriously.....does no one other than me feels some kind of moral obligation to support this website and its maintenance, not to mention its creator and his time, when they visit it daily? no one else feels that we need to come up with ways to advertise (other than free sidewalk chalking) in order to increase our dwindling (IMO) membership? no one feels like they should contribute money to help with operating costs and raise funds to help us get bigger and to fund things that will encourage us to grow as a community (online and locally)?

so many of us come to this site daily to vent our problems, to connect with our friends, to laugh or to discuss issues and so many of us go to those kick ass, free parties hosted by the same three people who pay for hosting this website and for most of the liquor and beer and often some food and the same people who spend the whole day preparing for and a whole day cleaning up after our parties, just so that we can have a central place to drink, dance and socialize?

with the way the donations have been going thus far and the lack of response on the journal below is it fair to assume that none of you are willing to donate a couple of dollars a month to estrip? $1? $2, $3, $5?


how much do you spend on coffee in a month? what about energy or soft drinks or wine or beer and cover charges at bars? how about cigarettes, porn and iTunes or lipgloss , candles and makeup, highlights, hair color, tanning and nails? not to mention victorias secret, lotion, perfume, boots, flats, stilletos and sneakers? as well as bicycles, golf clubs, roller blades, skiiing, camping equipment, grills, weights, rims, and car washes? how about magazines, newspapers, books on paper, on cd, mp3 and ebooks, or netflix, blockbuster, digital or premium cable? kobe beef, lobster, organic everything, free range everything, fair wage tea, antibiotic-free whipped cream, chocolate syrup, dairy queen, friendly's and coldstone, take out, delivery and restaurants galore, recreational drugs, pot, tivo, HDTV's, surround sound systems, cellphones, desktops, laptops, ipods, iphones and imacs and macbooks, printers, scanners, fax machines, digital cameras, digital picture frames, and bluray players. not forgetting the gym, book, association and gaming memberships, as well as airline tickets, hotels, car rentals, theme park admissions, souveniers, go cart racing, paint ball, hockey, football and baseball games, concerts, theater plays, movies, dresses, earrings, hair extensions, waxing, massages, psychic readings, and the enormous shit load of other luxuries that we spend money on without a second thought of hesitation, which we justify by claiming we deserve the feeling of a bit of escape and distraction, that those items, places and services provide for our over worked, run down psyche? we tell ourselves that they deliver the means by which to treat yourself to a little time-out or provide an escape or some amusement.

Those are luxuries for which most of us are willing to sacrifice varying mounts of money, in order to reap the benefits discussed above. We value these luxuries for the benefit they provide, no?

So I guess what we need to ask our selves why do we use estrip for? what does it do for us? don't you value estrip for the same kinds of reasons as you do your little everyday luxuries? escapism from real life? a place to meet up with friends? isn't estrip a little bit of luxury that allows you to meet up with your friends, to de-stress after or during a shitty work day? doesn't it provide a similar feeling that the items for which you spend your disposable money money on? in fact, isn't it safe to say that many of you spend much more time here than anywhere else (bar, movies, hair salon, mall, etc) in order to get your mind off of things, have fun and relax?

if so, then why wouldn't you be willing to donate just a bit of your money to help keep the website running and to actually give us some funds to advertise so that we can make our community much bigger and better, with more members to read about and have outings with and party with?

i seriously am not willing to accept ANYONE who regularly uses the website claiming that they simply cannot afford to donate to the site on a regular basis. TWO DOLLARS! ONE DOLLAR! how much of a dent in your budget can that seriously make? for those of us with decent jobs, there should be no excuse why donating $5 or $7 or shit...$10! dollars a month should not be feasible.

How many tickets have you gotten in the last few months that you threw away into the city of buffalo garbage can? hell, i've got two in the last few weeks. can't we give that back to ourselves so that we have extra cash to organize special outings or pay for supplies for bbq's or parties. how great would it be to place an ad in artvoice so that we can get some new traffic in here and attract some interesting men and women, who in turn might donate and raise our funds for other kind of advertising, and so forth and so forth. imagine one day seeing a local commercial on tv (think cheesy time warner commercials) with estrip.org splattered all over your HDTV! We could place ads in theater playbills, on other websites, buffalo news, beast, radio, sheesh....the list is endless.

sure (e:paul) is rich because he has three incomes, but i don't think it's fair that he has to pay, completely on his own, $100 a month to keep us running. and i'm sorry (e:paul), but asking 10 of us to donate $10 a month to pay for it, is unfair as well. all of us should pay as much as we can afford, but no one should go without contributing anything. shit, even if it's 25 cents, it's still something and it means that regardless of how poor you are, you are making a small sacrifice to contribute to a service which you utilize regularly and not leaving the cost for others to cover.

i know that (e:paul) is probably not going to agree with my ideas here and say that we should not force those who do not want to contribute to do so and that people should not be made to feel guilty or shameful either. i'm sure i'll hear a lecture that this website was designed to bring people together and that was his only goal, so people should feel free to use it without restrictions or pressures, but hell, i don't care.


I would like to think that most of you would agree that estrip is more than just another blogging website. Does it not have a real sense of community, friendship and comradery that other blogging websites, local or otherwise, just cannot offer. is it just me that sees us as more than just a simple blogging website to bitch and moan on and more like a communal family site where you meet new friends, form true friendships, and find support that is real and tangible which can help you find an apartment or help you move or give a ride to the airport.

i know that people here are not stingy and i know that many contributed (and some, quite a lot) when we needed a new server, but once that was over, very few people remembered that donate button was there. i guess my point is that we should donate regularly, monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly) so that we can 1. offset the $100 monthly cost of running the site, and 2. raise funds for our desperately needed advertisements and 3.collect some $$ to supplement parties and 4. raise money for special events i.e. shakespare in the park (food, wine, cheese), field trips, activities, camping, whatever.


i think that numbers 3 and 4 are a long way off, but if we work on 2 and our numbers increase, we'll be able to make those a reality.

i don't want to guilt you guys into this. i just want to make you realize that this website is a pretty big part of your life and that there is a person behind this website who donated a ton of his own money and thousands of hours of time to create this thing that brings you the escape or the connection so many of us seek out throughout the day/week/month. i want people to accept and feel some sense of personal responsibility in for this website's (help on the grammar here, websites' or website's?) existence and growth. and take on the responsibility of personally making sure that we not only continue to stay around but to ensure we grow and develop into a even bigger and stronger community who not only gets together for parties but who possibly one day, will plan toronto weekend outings on a bus rented with our donated discretionary funds.

from what i uderstand, (e:paul) has now made it possible to donate monthly from your paypal account whatever amount you feel comfortable from $1-$10 a month. i strongly urge all of you to please consider making estrip a priority. whether you've been here a few months or many years, whether you know barely know (e:paul), (e:terry) or (e:matthew) or you're all best friends, everyone who uses this site and values it and enjoys it, should feel compelled to donate something to help it survive and make it grow.

i'm not sure if i've made this suggestion to you before...or actually, i did, but it was a long time ago so you probably forgot. i was hoping for a link on a users' journal that links to comments that that they made recently or longer. Possibly the last 50 or 100?? but ideally to all comments made, chronologically since the time they joined.

i remember you did say that that was a possibility, but i don't know how feasible it is at this point.

let me know if this is something you're willing to consider.

btw, i reserve the right to make suggestions or requests as i still try to contribute periodically (or at least when i can remember)

• remember when i asked you if you could look into having a payment plan for donations that users could sign up for and have a set amount of $$ collected from their pay pal accts, or debit cards, or checking accts?

i know that that would be something i would personally be willing to sign up for. i don't know about anyone else, but having a few dollars a month automatically donated to the site would be much easier to do than having to come up (remember the server drive?) with a larger amount of cash when things come up.

i also think you'd get a lot more donations as people would probably be willing to donate the price of a starbucks coffee each month if it was something they had done automatically, without any hassle or work and without having to think about it each and ever month. the process seems to be much more logical and more conducive to giving. we all know that two bucks is nothing. but having to remember or having someone ride you each month to donate the dollars (no not that kind of ride, (e:metalpeter)) would be annoying and cumbersome. i am willing to bet that a lot of us here would be willing to set up an automatic payment to the (e:strip) account for a couple of $$ a month without feeling like we were getting robbed. it would allow us to save some money for emergencies, special events or for advertising campaigns.

AND

since we really need to think about advertising and attracting new users, this would be a good step in that direction. maybe (e:paul), you'd want to make this into a journal or i can post it as one of mine and get a discussion going on this topic to see where everyone else stands?

anyone else reading this...any thought?

ok...i'm going to click on the "donate" button now.

So just about everyone has heard about Chris Brown's alleged beating of Rhihanna last week. Finally, a photo has surfaced of what she looked like shortly after the assault. As sad as this photo is, it is probably not entirely indicative of her injuries, as the REAL bruising and swelling doesn't kick in until at least a day or two have passed.

For those of you who are not aware of Rihanna, she is a pretty big pop "sensation" that has blown up in the last few years. I actually am a pretty big fan, mostly because she has the balls to sport a short hair cut and has kick-ass fashion sense. She IS the reason the bob has come back into style as she was the first one to sport it, followed shortly by Katie Holmes.

So here is a pic of her on a good day.





She is also one of the few black artists to kind of embrace the whole emo/quasi-goth fashion style. As lame as emo is...it is popular among white, middle class, teenage america. I think her popularity is largely due to her ability to identify with that sector of the population which she's done more through fashion, than her music.

Observe her video for her super big hit, "Disturbia". Not only does she look fun-fucking-tastic, but she definitely is calling out to the Columbine-esque, Marilyn Manson, tween idols ...that are just hitting puberty and gaining access to mom and dads medicine cabinets and bank accounts before heading off to Hot Topic and a catching a screening of SAW X.

Regardless, this is a kick ass video. Look at the costumes, make-up and film cinematography and editing. It makes me want to have Halloween parties every night. It is really, really well done.




And so here is the just released pic I snatched from perezhilton.com. It is supposedly taken right after her fight with Chris Brown. Perez also states that attempted murder charges are also being considered against Brown.

Again, I don't think this shows how bad she really looked. I've had some injuries (and one horrible one) where initially things looked relatively fine, and only in the next day or two that followed, was the extent of the injuries actually revealed.

Dude needs to start seeking repentance and treatment ASAP if he wants to keep himself out of jail and maintain a career.

I'm like a bad episode of Sinefeld. What is wrong with me?

1. Sometimes I dream that I am in love with someone who I don't have feelings for and end up liking them because of it.

2. I rarely wear deodorant.

3. I don't shave and use that as a deterrent for drunken sex. I refuse to look gross no matter how drunk I am, therefore I won't accidentally have sex when I'm wasted.

4. I skipped kindergarten and went straight from preschool to first grade.

5. When dating someone, I always have to wear matching bra and panties.

6. I hate getting my nails done more than anything in the world.

7. I love strippers and strip clubs.

8. When I was a baby, the doctors told my parents that I would be deaf and that a change of climate would be the only thing that would help my chronic ear infections since antibiotics were no longer working.

9. I used government issued food ration cards for a good part of my childhood, while living in communist Poland. There was never enough food.

10. The first time I saw a black person was when I was 9.

11. I wake up my daughter with kisses and hugs every day for the past 15 years because I hated when my mother would yell and scream at me to wake up.

12. I will be 34 when my daughter starts college.

13. All of my bed sheets, blankets, duvet coves, bed skirts, etc. have to match.

14. I only use down pillows.

15. I cannot stand men who cannot eat properly with a knife and fork. ( knife in right hand, fork in left and never putting down the knife)

16. I could never be in a relationship with someone who is a picky eater.

17. I wish I'd like to smoke weed.

18. I don't listen to music because it makes me too emotional.

19. I believe I will never get married because I don't want to work hard to make a relationships work.

20. I like my boobs more and more the older I get.

21. My second toe is my longest toe.

22. I was a flight attendant for 3 years, but I kept my free flight privileges for 9 years and used them wisely.

23. I drink evaporated milk out of the can. Often.

24. I dated a music producer that has worked with Madonna, Prince, Mariah Carey, Paris Hilton, and many more that I can't remember now.

25. My ex girlfriend was the best boyfriend I've ever had.

26.(bonus) During the summer I often forget to wear panties.

This woman really is THE most beautiful woman on earth. Seriously look at her, it's perfection.

Plus she's loaded. She's the face of L'Oreal, Coca Cola and DeBeers Diamonds and the #1 box office star in the world. Bollywood films reach about 5 billion people world wide, twice that of Hollywood. She grabs about 15 million a film and she's got about 40 of them.

Ummm....I was just thinking...maybe I should write a normal post about what's going on in my life instead of the usual "look at this" or "did you know about that" kinds of posts that I usually write.

So....what's new in my life. Well....not much. I am still unemployed, mostly because I haven't been looking for a job...AT ALL! (I applied for one, which ended up being filled by the person they interviewed before I applied, FYI...Paul, Alex and Tony). With as much time and energy that I put into my last job, I figure a few months off for myself is well deserved and I don't feel a tinge of guilt about it.

I did decide that I'm going to take some classes this semester, so I will not be looking for a job until that is over, in May. I'll live off of student loans. (what's another 10K when you're drowning in school debt already?). Maybe we'll get a bail out somewhere down the road in 15 years or maybe I'll disappear to Europe and never return. Can they track me abroad if I am not using my American passport and hold a foreign citizenship?

I did get an email from the pharmaceutical staffing firm that I've been working with in London, about a job in Switzerland that they thought I'd be a good candidate for. So I went ahead and applied for that. They said that the company is willing to pay for relocation, which is rare, but it is only a 6 month contract so that kind of sucks. They do, however, say that if you end up doing a good job, the company often offers such employees permanent positions. You can't imagine how different shit is in the European workplace. The perks you get for a mid level management position (like the kind I would hold as a Project Manager) are things like a company car, relocation pay (which seems kind of crazy considering this is only a 6 month term) and many others that I don't remember now.

But imagine what kind of position you have to hold here in order to be issued a company car. You have to be pretty high on the power list to be able to get perks like that. There, it's a standard benefit for a lot of management positions. So, anyway, the Switzerland job is a long shot, but I'd be retarded to not apply. But I'm sure there must be a shit load of people applying as well.

Other than that, I pretty much don't have a whole lot going on. I am buying and reading books like crazy and am still on the whole Soviet Union, Stalin, WWII, Nazi, kick. One of the books I'm currently reading (theres about 4) is the biography of Joseph Stalin (based on new documents discovered in the previously forbidden archives of the Russian government). He was pretty much a criminal his entire life, starting from the point after he left seminary school. (Yes, Stalin was going to be a priest!) He was arrested and exiled 7 times, before Lenin came to power and gave Stalin an official position in government. Prior to that, he murdered opponents of the revolution that Lenin and their party members, the Bolsheviks, were trying to incite. He robbed caravans for money and gold, organized violent and deadly demonstrations denouncing the leaders in power, printed and distributed prohibited propaganda, fathered bastard children that he refused to acknowledge, and double crossed everyone he came into contact with (including Lenin, who he originally worshiped and who was the reason he joined the party in the first place). He worked for the police as an informant but was actually a double agent with the approval and encouragement of Lenin. He blew in party members that Lenin though were disposable and not vital to the party's success, so that they could reap the benefits that being an informant receives when working for the police. Prime example would be the kind of punishments Stalin got each time he was arrested. Instead of receiving a long prison sentence or a death sentence, he was always given exile (and at times they even gave him the choice of where he wanted to be exiled to!), even though out of the 7 times he was exiled, he escaped 6 times. You'd think they would have learned a lesson the second or third time, but archival records of correspondence within the police department clearly showed that they were well aware of his planned escapes, but decided to look the other way, hoping he could lead them to other, bigger, fish they could fry.

I also finished a book on Auschwitz; how it came into existance, why, and how it morphed into a death camp from a labor camp. Initially, Auschwitz was to be a labor camp that would use Jews to produce materials needed for the war. A little known fact is that the Nazi's had two different kinds of camps they built during the war; labor camps and death camps. Auschwitz was an oddity because it was used as both. There were other camps built, that were much smaller, yet much deadlier, but they were created to be nothing but extermination centers. They had no barracks, no buildings, no cafeteria or offices, just gas chambers and incinirators for buringing the bodies.

One of the most disturbing facts I learned was how skilled they became at using psychology as a means to control the prisoners and how convincing and effective they were at it. Because sending screaming, fighting, crying men, women and children to their death was proving to cause quite a few psychological issues for the guards, they developed ways in which the killing process became easy and impersonal (meaning guards had very little contact with the prisoners before killing them and did not have to force them into the chambers). They developed gas chambers as a means to solve the issues they were having with shooting prisoners each night. It took too long, there were way too many people that had to be killed and not enough guards to do it, and they were running out of room for disposing bodies. Having to shoot 100 people a night and constantly hearing them plead and beg for their life was much more difficult for the guards than having 1000, calmly walk into a building that they thought housed showers; shower's that they most likely wanted and needed after a grueling trip to the camp.

After arriving to the camp and exiting the train, the guards, depending on which year of the war it was, would either take all of them to be killed or would select the one's that were ill, old or too young to work. They had a senior guard that was calm and cordial and who talked to the prisoners in a warm, reassuring tone upon their arrival, to put them at ease and prevent mass panic and hysteria. He would explain to them, calmly and warmly, that they just needed to be cleaned and disinfected prior to entering the camp; nothing to worry about. He kindly asked people to take off their clothes and to fold them up neatly, so that when they got out there would be no trouble in finding their belongings. He explained that after showering, they would be assigned their barracks and soon afterwards, their future jobs, which would be based on the skills they each possessed from previous employment. Thus, upon entering the death chambers (which were actually built to look like showers inside), no one panicked or cried or pleaded or resisted. This saved the guards a lot of unnecessary energy expenditure and prevented the psychological problems they so often developed as a result of a, (however small) conscience and feelings of guilt. The only problem that remained, was that once people were inside, the doors were locked and they realized that no water was coming out of the shower heads but instead it was gas from the cyanide pellets that were dropped from above, the screaming, crying and pleading began and could be heard through the walls and throughout the camp. This was not only a problem for the guards, but also for the other prisoners that were still laborers, who refused to buy the shower story when their turn came around to be gassed.


Ok, it looks like I got side tracked once again and made the kind of post I was intending on not doing.

Now I'm too lazy and tired to talk about other stuff that has been going on, so I'll have to leave it for next time.