late nite phil collins on the tube

so works going really well still. just trying to get a second job that is worth it financially. the good thing about living down here is there are a lot of jobs that you can earn a lot of money off the books. i totally understand where (@paul) is coming from. there are places i would like to go, investments that i would like to do, and just random odds and ends that require more moolah. i have been dating this girl that i was set up semi blindly with. my friend meghan, well her sister deidre goes to the gym with this girl kate, and they wanted to set us up. we met, and we have been talking and going out on dates now for almost a month. i am kinda iffy about the whole thing. i am trying to slow shit down, and she seems to want to push things forward. even physically. yes yes i said it. i am tryin to pull the emergency brake a bit. i guess it i just more of a hassle to get to physically involved when i am not sure where my head is. i know where it is, and well a lot of the time it is no where near here. the problem is, she is awesome, cute, and i really enjoy spending time with her. there are a lot of uncomfortable moments, but i don't think she finds them uncomfortable. there is many times where there is no eye contact while talking and i just find that odd. she has a great job, she lives with her parents though, which is difficult for me, cause i have not had to go hang out at a parents house in more than 6 years. they are always upstairs but it just feels odd. there is a lot of me who wants to be single, not so i can just go banging around, but cause i don't have to account to anyone for my actions. any of them, whether i lay on the couch all day and return a call at 7 that i missed at 11 am. plus i have had strange dreams about kerri, and a lot of thoughts, well not a day goes by, about her. and that maybe if we get together and talk, something may come of it. sometimes you just know somethings are there for a reason. nothing is easy, EVERYTHING requires work and effort, and well i believe strongly in that. i have actually been laying low lately, much to the chagrin of my friends who have been making comments like 'are you boycotting us now?" course im not, just trying to make myself better, by saving money, not going out and punishing my body by partying as much. trying to plan shit out. there is a book binding class i want to sign up for in the city at nite, for a 2 month period, so i wouldwork in the city or take the train from elmont. the other day we received our nyc chapter alumni christmas party invite. so i am looking forward to that, though it came with Collegium, or monthly magazine or bi monthly, whatever it may be. it updates all us alum on the goings on at the alma mater. well i saw my first girlfriend, yup college, is married now. i kinda new i guess, but i saw her with his last name. funny thing, she broke up with me to date one of my good friends. well he and i didn't get on so well after that, for a while. so now i have my frist and second off married, having houses, parents, or planning to, and me, well. im fine with all of that, i really am. i am the happiest i have been in i can't tell you how long. but there are a few things i would like to fall in to place to complete the puzzle. well i gotta hit the hay. its to late for this. i will talk to you soon. i should be home in b-lo fora week at x-mas. post any outings