I might be wrong that I have decided to leave elmwoodstrip. While deleting all my journals, I almost cried.. maybe I loved here so much. But, I realized that I can't deal with feeling betrayed anymore.

Of course, I have also strong sexual desire as well. I always tell people that I like looking at cute boys, even I do sexual joke all the time, even I have been to strip bars a few times as business treatment in Korea. I've used my body for my artwork. Also, I like all type of men as well. I'm from the structuarized business filed background where disgusting politics dance boisterously and I'm old enough to know things better. But, I wasn't talking about these things, I was talking about "respecting another culture, not making fun of another culture with a total different concept and comment". If I saw the picture with a different argument or concept, I wouldn't react like that. I would rather say "what a nice picture, those sushi look so yummy" I couldn't really express what I thought on the argument because I have limited English vocabularies.

As a senior designer in Korea, I'd learned to treat junior designers "being in the middle and giving them reasonable argument" with a respect manner. I know nobody can be perfect in human being. I know I make mistakes all the time and I do overcriticize things all the time. But, if I notice that I was wrong, I always apologize.

It's hard to notice people's voice tone from the online, so there can be a lot of misunderstandings. So, online manner is the most important thing to communicate with other people. I just want to let you know about that.

I've really enjoyed writing and reading your journals here.
But, I'm too sensitive to deal with what has happened to me here.
Sorry.

Soyeon.

That's why I don't want to gain weight. (e:Terry), see..? why I'm so senstive if I put little weight on me.. I want to find things out easily.. ;)

Have to wait for rendering for my video about 4 hours, and it is just a test.. Damn it. I want Tower G5 MAC with a lot of rams so badly.. Especially, if I want to use After Effect a lot, I really need one otherwise I have to live in school. Oh well, it seems like I will use After Effect a lot.. Damn.. Damn..
I want G5 right now.. Good that I have a PC too, so I can use the internet while it is rendering.

So, every time (e:Paul) programmes something new for estrip, he aims me to test the new thing for the site. So, I did it again. I put my cell phone number on the new menu...(the green icon next to yahoo icon).. then, wrote something on the post and sent it to me.. and I got a text message on my cell phone.. Cool!!.. (e:Paul), what is the next programming..? I'm here for you to test everything.. I feel like I am your quality assurance person.

Too busy to think of other things these days.. I'm just having a break now..
Okay.. gotta go back to work.

[inlink]u=marmizo&id=29[/inlink] (e:Marmizo), I like William Wordsworth poem too. I used to love Rene Maria Rilke. Even though my father was a poet (he passed away by sudden car accident when I was 20), I loved to read a lot of western poetry. Perhaps, I was against with him because he disciplined me in a very strict way. I am the oldest daughter of him, and there is no son in my family. For the reason or not, he rasied me as his son. But, I wasn't enough to be his son. As you might guess, I'm an emotional person. Now I understand him much better, but I was too young to follow what he wanted me to in my childhood.

By the way, here is my favorite poem of William Wordsworth. This is a part of his long poem called "Slendour in the Grass". I used this one for one of my video poetry.

Splendour in the Grass

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower:
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind:
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks though death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.