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That's an upsetting news for me because I got my powerbook just 3 months ago.
So, mine already got to become the old version today. I should've waited for it.. then, I could have free 256 MB and more 20 GB with the same price.
It's so upsetting..

My friend, Cutie Pie (I made his nick name) Chris Barr cheered for me with sending some music. I think I should go over his house and copy all his music soon. His taste in listening to music is very similar to my taste. I had one person like that not that long ago, but glad that I found another person who can give me nice music. Good!!.

The saddest part in getting old is that there are a lot of things we know we have to compromise, or we are no longer allowed to be whining to others.

I'm very moody now. I just want to be a little girl who can be very whining for a little moment.. But, if I do like that, people think I still need to grow up.. or spoiled or.. immature... I don't know..

I miss my ex-boyfriend in Korea just for this moment.. we were together for 6 years. He was too good for me.. He could listen to all my complaining.. yelling... screaming.. twisted jokes.. irritating words...
but, I made him cry so badly.. We couldn't stop crying when we had the last dinner together.. Oh well,, it was a long time ago... it's been over 6 years already..

I think I'm very moody now...

Listening to Sonic Youth's Unmade Bed right now. I think I should connect my speakers to the powerbook and I can listen to this one very loudly. Then I can totally go wild.

I used to like listening to music in my car in the parking lot in Korea. Cause, it could be my world and I was only one to go crazy with loud music in that area. I didn't like listening to music with somebody loudly, because the taste could be different and I didn't want somebody to bother me or complain to me.

Oh well, gotta take a shower to go to the mall with (e:Robin) in one hour. Glad I finally can stop by Apple store..

I am responding (e:metalpeter)'s collecting question as well here.

In my early teen-age times, I used to collect "Wham" pictures. I don't know how many people can remember them here. But, they were one of popular British group in 80. I was, of course, one of those teenage girls who could cry and scream when they saw their favorite celebrity. Well, it makes me smile now; maybe my youngest sister can be surprised by the fact that I was like how she is right now (she is 9 years younger than me). Sometimes, she tells me her favorite actor and talks about the actor's lifestyle whatsoever. I just listen to her, but give her very pathetic eyes and ask her; "How old are you?" Anyways, I had to watch "Wham" music video all the time and buy their pictures whenever I saw at any shops. A lot of people got into George Michael than Andrew Ridgeley at the time. Me? I wasn't that interested in the famous one. Maybe, George Michael was too muscular to me, his beard, his fashion style. But, Andrew Ridgeley was an awesome cool looking guy to me, his delicate face, his fashion sense. I told my friends in my middle school that I was going to marry him and I really dreamed about it. However, one day, my father found out that I was collecting celebrity's pictures and he was really enraged. Then, he ripped all their pictures in front of me. Ever since, I never collect celebrities' pictures again.

In my high school, I started collecting LCD. One of my male friends was collecting LCD and I was jealous what he got. I already had classical music collection that my Mom bought for me, so started collecting pop music to comfit with my male friend. I just didn't like listening to him talking about how much he loves music. I loved music as well, (I've always loved music) but if I bought a pop music LCD, I had to hide it from my father's sight. My friend was raised by the liberal father, but me? I was raised by very conservative father.

I think I stopped collecting LCD when my another male friend from college went to the military service. He gave me all his LCD. There was my favorite Japanese group "Safe Zone" LCDs as well. We couldn't buy Japanese music at the market at the time. It was illegal. In early 90, we still had some issues between Korea and Japan because of the historical reasons. Well, we still have some issues, but now the relationship between Korea and Japan is much better. Anyway, I knew that this male friend knew that I liked the Japanese Group, "Safe Zone", but I didn't know he liked me. Then, CD came out.

After graduating college, I started to work as a graphic designer and web designer about 6 years before coming to United State. Of course, I made a lot of money at the time, so, I could collect perfumes. I still have some here in Buffalo, but I gave my younger sisters most of them when I left Korea. My favorite perfume is Issey Miyake's Odyssey. I might collect perfumes someday again. Also, I used to collect commercial post cards that some cafes or restaurants provide displaying for customer service. If you have been to my house, you might have seen some post cards on the walls and perfumes in my bedroom.

I'm actually thinking of collecting cards. Then, I can send one to my friends sometimes. Just wait.. who knows you will get one from me soon.

I'm uploading some MP3 music of Max Richter on my server right now.
You can download them and enjoy the tranquil music. But, don't get feeling melancholy.

-- Soyeon.

Max Richter: The Twins (Prague) -

Max Richter: Embers -

Max Richter: On the Nature Of Daylight -

Max Richter: The Trees -

It's started little snowing, and TV says some religious school closed for today. I can see it's also windy through the window in my livingroom. Oh, scary!! It was freaking cold last night.. Nippy!! <-- learned this word yesterday. After Market Arcade, I just wanted to come home, well everybody went home with a promise to come out for tonight. But, scary snow storm is on the way.. maybe it's just started.

Happy birthday!! (e:Paul)!!. I think you maybe born with a snow storm. How lucky you are. 28 is great age. You are almost there to reach over the heal where I am right now. By the time you finally reached my world, I will give you a big hug. Real hug!!.. Cheer up!!.. almost there!! HAHAHA. Happy birthday to you!!!
I always give you a best luck.

Soyeon

It's been strange that I can't sleep straight more than 6 hours. So, I unexpectedly became a morning person these days. Well, I kind of want this my body awaking condition, and hope it can keep going at least for more than couple weeks. Then, I can enjoy smelling the fragrant morning, and hanging around the quietness of the morning for the time being. These feelings are quite different from the feelings of the night. I can just describe these as a metaphor example, the quietness of the morning is like tranquil.. but the quietness of the night is like seclusive. Okay! need a morning coffee now.

I told Alan last night that I'm not critical and cynical anymore. Well, I want to try not to be like that. Just try to think every art is beautiful. Everything is good. Just appreciate the way how it is.. what do you say..? Alan smiled and said.. "Good!"

I want to be in the start line for the marathon again. Doesn't matter the theoretical issues in art. Just do work again. I think that's what I need it again. Sounds good..? Okay! I'm ready.

I'm being lazy too much.. I should get off this line very soon. Well, the weather doesn't make me productive and I'm very far away from art making these days.
Then, realized I should not run into **** *****, one of media professors. I have to edit his show documentary. I promised him to give it to him in the beginning of this semester. Oh well.

An old man pulled over his car for me when I was about to leave for school. He asked me if I fixed my windshield wiper. He saw that I was trying to move the wiper with (e:Paul) and (e:Terry) yesterday. Yea, it's broken, the one for drive side. I took (e:Paul)'s advice and stopped by Pep-boys yesterday. But they said.. just look at it is 36 bucks. So I kept asking the guy there.. "just look at it.. 36 bucks?" and he kept answering me.. "Yes.. just look at it .. 36 bucks" Then, finally I told him.. "it's very expensive". He said.. "yes.. it is expensive" But, I told him "I will try it in another mechanic". Don't you think it's expensive to look at the problem.. I don't like Pep-boys. So, this old man recommended me to go to dealer shop to get a fixed. I think I should try it. How nice he is.. good neighbor..

I went to school for the electronic art show. It was a good show although I broke Chris Barr's hug mechine (but he fixed it).. He said he designed it for me because it has pink color on it. Oh well, there is a story about that. I had teasing him once because of the pink color. He thinks pink color is pretty and I think pink color is girlish. So, we had teasing each other at the old pink.. funny.. isn't it..? (but, Chris.. your hug mechine doesn't hug me enough.. so sad.. )

Okay... I should edit the video for **** ***** before running into him at school. I can't run away from him... I bet he would give me the evil eyes if I didn't finish it. Oh.. I'm scared because I haven't done anything at all during the break.. gotta work.. but there is another life without artmaking.. Can I just forget about making art for a while..?

I wrote how to be productive.. but I lost it again. It has happened to me third times, and it just made me not productive. (e:Paul), I think this site has been little unstable for some reason.

I wrote.. "Nothing", he wrote me back, "Nothing".......

School is starting tomorrow, and I have to figure something out in the morning. I'm not taking any class for this semester. Well, I could take one, maybe.. seminar course again in art side. All I have to do for this semester is doing my thesis. I decided to finish up everything by next Feb. So, one year I have time to finish up my thesis. I told him like that. He said.. "why did you do that?" I just want to take a time. I don't want to get stressed out too much. I don't want to run around too much. I go crazy for my work easily and get really stressed out. Maybe I need it again. Maybe not or I will enjoy travelling sometimes. Trying to find out a job. I miss working in company. I miss having conversation with my co-workers at bar after work. I don't know what I want after graduating.. going back to industrial world.. or staying in school to teach. Be an artist..?

Life is short. I'm afraid that I lost feelings of being attracted to men. I'm not naive or innocent anymore. I know things very well and I'm not curious anymore. I'm not sad anymore. I'm not angry anymore. I'm not happy anymore. So, I'm worried if less of my life is like that all the time. Ah, life is short.

I'm reading a book called dictionary of Critical Theory for these days. I think Freud left too much complicated words. It's good to re-organizing things though.

I think I miss having conversation with Ivan at coffee shop although I get annoyed by him sometimes. But, I know I can drive him crazy as well. He emailed me with his baby while I was in Korea. He is Father right now. Yea,, I think he needs to grow up that way.

I will be there to figure things out.. running around.. going crazy.. driving people crazy... maybe.... I'm thinking of coming to visit my youngest sister in London sometime in May. I will be there anyway..