About a month ago, (e:jim) inspired me to FINALLY seek treatment for ADHD.

I've known I'd had it for years, but never sought help because I didn't really want to be on meds, and I had some pretty good coping skills.

Nonetheless, as my life has gotten more complex in recent years, my disorganization, inattentiveness, and tendency to lose track of things has gotten harder to handle. The promise of a non-stimulant drug to help me out (as shared by (e:jim)), Strattera, inspired me.

The first nomination for an entity to be mad at might be ExpressScripts, my prescription plan. I am upset with them because they would not approve strattera, unless I have hypertension and/or other drugs had been tried and found wanting.

In essence they said, "Try the addictive/potentially harmful stimulants first, if you find yourself addicted, or your heary blows up, than we will give you the other drug." Great Plan.

I can also be upset with my PCP. I don't really want to be upset with them, because they are on the West Side and specialize in caring for poor people and refugees, which is why I went to this doctor. I decided I could put up with a crowded, long, wait, if it helped other people get the care they needed.

What really made me mad about them is that they sent my prescription apporval form to the wrong place, and never followed up (with my medical insurance, who they sent it to, my prescription plan, who they should have sent it to, or me) I had to call them to push them to get anything done, and I was told more than once that the problem was that the medical insurer was the hold-up even AFTER I TOLD THEM TWICE not to talk to BlueCross, but rather to talk to ExpressScripts, and got the special phone number for them.

After staterra was denied, because I don't have any heart problems or addictions yet, I decided that I should go along, and take Ritalin.

Of course, ritalin is a controlled substance. So before I could get this prescription, I had to visit the doctor yet again, so I could pee into a cup, sign a contract, and pick up the script (which is not allowed to be faxed to the pharmacy).

So I can be mad at the people that abused the drug, too, and the government that made rules in reaction to said people.

Additionally, I can be mad at myself. Now, I know myself pretty well. Therefore, when I got the script, I decided to go directly to the pharmacist. No passing go, no collecting $200, gotta get the drugs before I lose the little piece of paper.

Of course, the phone rang, and of course, it was an emergency. A woman in my congregation had died. I wasn't going to tell her family to wait while I went to Rite-Aid, so I changed direction.

After spending time with the family, I went straight to Rite-Aid, but it was too late. The prescription was not to be found. I searched every pocket, my whole truck, every place it might have gone, four and five times over. Gone. (I know. It's funny that I lost the paper that gets me the medicine that stops me from losing things)

I drove back to the doctor's office, and they seemed to say that they could write me another one, but couldn't right away because the doctor was at lunch.

So I went after work, waited 30 minutes again, and then was told that I would have to wait a month, because Ritalin is a controlled substance. They can't undo the old script, they can't write another one.

So I'm stuck. Ugh.