anyone else a big fan of making out in the afternoon? (i never used to call it that, got in the habit though and now it sounds alright i guess) i got home from work and that was all that was on my mind today. i mean not that it isn't on my mind more often than that, cause well it is. but today, it just seemed so more intense i guess. maybe its the weather. yeah that could be it. or the fact that when i make a delivery to P.C. Richards (and appliance store locally owned down here) i walk in, and everyday, with out fail, and with prior knowledge to the contrary, i think i see kerri. the girl behind the customer service desk could be a damn stunt double. physical features are very very similar. so while i am standing there waiting for everyone to pay, i start daydreaming. that never is good. today would be a great day to just come home, and have a nice long late afternoon of romantic sex, love making. yeah that kind. then just lie in bed while it gets dusk, get up and get dressed while the street lights are starting to come on and go out to dinner to a quiet little place that is unassuming. i know just the place, go figure. haha..we would be warm and have that soft smell of bed, a little bit of napping, sex, with flushed faces. at the resturaunt we would sit at the bar while our table was being prepared and chat about work, what my friends are doing, what her friends are doing. then we would be escorted to the table and order, smiling at each other, little touches of the fingers while we read our own menus. what'll you get? not sure, this sounds good, what are you thinking of. then ordering, the food is great as always, finish up a and head for home. fall asleep early. wake up to the alarm clock and try to steal a few kisses on her back, her lower back as she tries to get out of bed. of course i lose, but not with out some gain. coming out of the shower in the plush terry cloth bathrobe, hair wet on her shoulders she sits on the edge of my bed and i sit half up and begin kissing her neck, and the back of her head. watching her get dressed, knowing she is going to go teach little kids. i love that really. i can see her in the class if i try, if i think about it. i lay back down and watch good morning america while she finishes up, otherwise i end up making her run late. she leans over and kisses me, more than once and then on our seperate ways to meet the day. i miss that. i miss the tenderness. it was beautiful and i am lucky to have had it, i just want it back damn it. other than that i am happy. really. taking a day trip to sag harbour and shelter island this saturday. it is supposed to be up in the 60's hopefully i will get some great pics for you all and find some cool stuff beach combing and what not. john stienbeck lived in sag harbour. wrote the winter of our discontent there. yup. gonna check out his place. alright peeps sorry bout that just now. but its what was banging around in my head. no pun intended.

i really got a lot of good beach glass as you can see. some cool shells and coral.

yeah wireless sucks. just lost a whole post.

lent, ah that wonderful 40 days before easter. i used to give things up when i was a kid, mostly candy, cause i was not a big candy eater so it was never an issue with me. last nite while out for drinks, i ran into martin, one of our buddies from Limmrick (SP) he said most irishmen give up the drink for lent, and only on the sundays during this time will they imbibe spirits. of course he chastised me for being a dirty proddy (protestant if you didn't get it) as he put it. growing up everyone around me was catholic, and i was the only kid in the cafeteria that had meat on his sandwich every friday during lent. the only day we were not allowed to eat meat was good friday, and of course it was SOOOOOO DIFFICULT. funny thing is there are many days that i don't eat meat. the mind is so funny. tomorrow is the Irish Day party in Rockaway. I AM PSYCHED!!! yeah gonna break that out. i also would like everyone to start using TA-DAOW....remember that? i think it was snoop who popularized that. it is very versatile. it can be used in a variety of ways, just try it out, you will impress anyone you are speaking with no doubt. hahaha.....just a comment on the ensuing brawl on echat over bias on the network news. i feel that if you are going to argue that one is biased, they are all biased. gone is the day that you can trust your news anchor man. they all suck. every one of them. to much time and effort is devoted on tv to what angelina jolie is banging, yes i said what, i mean she was with billy bob, who is wearing whose clothing line, whether or not nick, jake and heath are having a wild rodeo and that is why jessica left him, it is just amazing what people pay attention too. now i can't profess to have all of the answers or even stay extremly tuned in to what is going on. but all of this entertainment tonite and mtv programing is getting our nation of track. letting port deals go through without the blink of an eye, letting jobs be outsourced with out any shouts, hollars of protest. well i am hungry, gotta get some grub. started reading Papa Hemingway, by A.E. Hotchener. awesome book, friggin awesome....Hemingwawould be in my top 5 of people to meet. yeah i know he is dead, i meant if her were alive smart asses. hahaha....seriously Papa was the man.

Happy Fat Tuesday peeps. everyone is probably out partying with timika. normally i would be, but as of late i have been trying to behave. i mean really behave, save dough, you know, kinda grow up yeah right. so i am looking forward to this weekend!! it is the Irish day parade in Rockaway and we are taking a school bus from my friend Shauna's bar , the Recovery Room (great name for a bar huh, its next to a hospital! haha) in Mineola to the parade. the next day there is Irish day in Mineola and the Recovery Room is having real irish bands play all day and serving bangers and mash, and of course Guinness, Harp, and i am sure copious amounts of Jamesons in shot form. I don't partake in the Jamesons myself, quite nasty if you ask me. But one of the best parts of the weekend is i am being introduced to Shauna's cousin. I am actually looking forward to meeting her. Shauna and her sister Tara have been trying to set this up since Thanksgiving, but i had been kinda reluctant. They had tried to set me up with their friend Maureen who was a total nut job, really attractive, but had nothing of interest to say and was seriously certifiable. Anyways, the plan is to go on my interview at 8am, come home change, go to the deli for breakfast and a guinness, and then make our way to the bus in Mineola. from there it is on to Rockaway. i also started excercising today. i guess like working out. i have three months to get in shape for beach volleyball. i would like to play in 2 leagues. a recreational league and a competitive league. thats the one i need to be in shape for. the rec league i can handle no problem. three months should be more than enough time, its not like i am that out of shape. just need to get some more endurance, and work my legs a bit. a few situps so that i have some power behind the ball and that should be it. i cannot wait for haikuster to have her baby. wonder what the lil one will be, what it will be called. excitement!!!!!!!! get ready e strip!!!

I just love reading the political commentary on this site. it is both refreshing and irritating in tha fact that it seems as though people cannot look outside of party lines. party party party, why does it always have to be party? seriously people. i mean cmon. if anyone believes that the fact that such and such percentage of americans will not vote for hillary clinton is a rebuke of liberal thinking is out of their mind. it is because she s a carpet bagger who won because she had an enormous bank, and because the republicans of new york fucked rick lazio. i should know my roomate worked for him, and lost his job because hillary won. not voting for hillary has nothing to do (ok 99% nothing to do) with party lines. its the fact that she is in office in a state that she adopted because she saw an easy win. rudy was on the fence because of his prostate, and the next best guy was rick lazio. he lost because rudy hamstrung him by waiting for ever to pull out of the race and the lazio people mismanaged his campaign. plus there was that infamous "attack" during the one debate that really didn't make rick bring his best qualities forth. I met the guy, great guy, amiable, polite, yeah he is a politician, but he spoke to people as a normal person, regular joe. i guarantee that you sit with ole' Hil, and she will come off as fake as pam anderson's new, old new tits. and as for the clinton budget achievements. isn't it congress who controlls the purse strings? are we forgetting basic government 101? yes the president presents congress with a budget...presents...but congress controlls the purse strings when it comes down to it. I just don't understant the stubborness in staying right/left. doesn't the regular citizen understand that this is what keeps our country so divided? the fact that you let an ideology dictate where your beliefs lie, or actually influence how you think about issues, and therefore who you vote for, is fucking insane. I have said this before, and i will say it again. we need more people that are moderates in the sense that they take everything on an issue by issue basis. me, well you can call me what you want, slap whatever label you want on me. i wont vote for hillary, i will vote for mccain if he makes it, and i pray he does....a group of us down here have mccain shirts, the ones with his vietnam service era photo on the front and mccain for president on the back. this port deal, kinda fishy when a pres has not used a veto once, never threatened and now wants to railroad a deal through that puts a country that could possibly harbour terrorists. and the funny thing is he stood on ruble and yelled that everyone would hear us, yeah and now ports within a 25 mile radius will fall into the hands of a company owned by nations that could condone terrorism at the same time paying us lip service concerning their allegiance in the war on terror. we need to reign in the carriage here. bring ownership and jobs back to our own country...oh yeah in case you were wondering china is financing our debt. the next great super power. i am saying that there needs to be more investigation. more questions by the media who need to do their job and not let don rumsfeld dodge questions with his lame ass antecdotes, or his smarmy behavior. fuck him he is responsible to us, US, not to the big corporations, not to his neo con cabal, but to the people, and the administration has seemed to forget this, and the polarization of our country to such vast extremes has allowed this to go on through an palpable hatred for anyone with the opposite extreme view. we need to do what is best for our country, that is the people who live here, not what is best for the party. the party is nothing, the party should be over, where are the federalists, where are the bull moose, where is anyone else??? oh thats right they don't have money for this 30 second spot. can't wait to hear about this one. have a great saturday nite. gonna go have a few pops.

Love by Billy Collins


the boy at the far end of the train car
kept looking behind him
as if he were afraid or expecting someone

and then she appeared in the glass door
of the forward car and he rose
and opened the door and let her in

and she entered the car carrying
a large black case
in the unmistakable shape of a chello

she looked like an angel with a high forehead
and somber eyes and her hair
was tied up behind her neck with a black bow

and because of all that
he seemed a little awkward
in his happiness to see her

whereas she was simply there
perfectly existing as a creature
with a soft face who played the chello

and the reason i am writing this
on the back of a manilla envelope
now that they left the train together

is to tell you that when she turned
to lift the large, delicate chello
onto the overhead rack,

i saw him lookiing up at her
and what she was doing
the way the eyes of saints are painted

when they are lookiing up at God
when he is doing something remarkable
something that identifies him as God


...yeah i know how that feels..




In my craft or sullen art by dylan thomas

in my craft or sullen art
excercised in the still night
when only the moon rages
and the lovers lie abed
with all their griefs in their arms
i labour by singing light
not for ambition or bread
or the strut and trade of charms
on the ivory stages
but for the common wages
of their most secret heart

not for the proud man apart
from the raging moon i write
on these spindrift pages
nor for the toweing dead
with their nightingales and psalms
but for the lovers, their arms
round the griefs of the ages
wo pay no praise or wages
nor heed my craft or sullen art

Eric --
[noun]:

A level headed person who always makes the wrong decision


Michael --
[adjective]:

Banshee-like


Eric --
[adjective]:

Benevolent to a fault

Eric Michael --
[noun]:

A person who is constantly high

Wow, ladycroft looks like we have a lot more in common than i originally thought :) hahahahahaah this site really is quite amusing

so i went on another interview today for a job at a bank down here on Long Island. It's for a personal banking position. you come in to the branch and i play with your money. oh gotta go, the optimum online guy is here to figure out our internet problems. i will write more when he s gone.

ok so this is in continued response to dcoffee's post. I feel that one of the reasons buffalo is in the current state it is in is because we don't properly use the resources we have right in front of us. yes i still say we, i still identify strongly with my home. it disturbs me that we have a control board with members fromm Greenwich Village, Albany, and other parts of NYS directing buffalos future. we need to take charge and get competent people office. i know its easy to preach from down here. but let me get to my point. now i believe that the richardson complex/center is the psych center on buff state's property. and if i am correct it is on a national preservation registry. it is not in use right now, yes? well why not renovate the building in accordance with preservationist guidelines to become the hotel in the elmwood village, thereby saving the businesses that sparked the elmwood strip revival, and are a continuing force in the success of the village. the hotel would be steps away from the albright knox, the historical society, shakespeare in the park, and the strip itself. it just seems like our city squanders so many opportunities. the water front obviously being one. move the golf course from deleware park to the waterfront, and turn the old pier into the counrty club building. who golfs in the winter? no one. what would be a better backdrop, and make the course more competitive than the weather from lake erie. also solving the problem of driving golfballs into kids playing baseball, soccer, basketball. turning the park, into our central park. there are flashes of brilliance, and then really big duds. and again it is easy for me to be critical, but i left buffalo, i would like to come back someday. anyways. and as for the suits at the pink. whats the problem with that? i don't see anything wrong with a couple of suits being there. they may be freaks who just have day jobs with the man. i don't forsee in the near future the Pink being taken over by the yuppies, preps, jocks, geeks (going on a ferris bueller kind of rant). the pink will always be the pink as long as its standing. those two make it a more interesting nite. at least thats the way i see it.

I was just looking at my journal and for some reason the last entry is posted 3 times. kinda odd. i wonder if it was because of my computer. oh well. so i didn't call kerri on valentines day. it was killing me not to. i did get a valentine from a stranger though. that was really cool. i went to visit my friend mickey at the inn, he was working so i popped in there for a drink and stayed for a little while. nothing crazy, but there were these 4 girls who i have seen around, and i was brought into a conversation about relationships. then the one girl asked why i was not with my girlfriend and i explained to her that i chopped her head off and threw her in the bay. hahaha...no i let her know i didn't have one. now these four girls seemed nice, and they are attractive. the one next to me was like here, happy valentines day and gave me this bag of candy and it had a cd in it too. it was really nice because i was REALLY down. valentines day last year was a big nite in my relationship with kerri and it struck me as odd how much can change in the passing of a year's time. well of course i ran in to kerri on wednesday nite. she was going outside to have a smoke with her roomate courtney and she stopped and said hi, and that she would be back in. she came back in and then it was her turn to sing, so she gets up and sings are you strong enough to be my man. hahaha...funny shit. mickey and i got up and left. i think shes in florida for the february break. her and her girlfriends go every year. it seems like everyone is blah right now. last nite i went to dinner with an old friend. that is a great statement. it was my friend kat, whose 30th suprise birthday i went to last weekend. we had lost touch, mostly because of her, but since christmas she has made an effort to get our friendship back on track. i am really happy about that. she is a different person now too. a lot happier i think. we went to tgi fridays for dinner and had a few drinks. 3 hours went by and it seemed like a few min. its really cold and windy here today. what baxter you ate a whole wheel of cheese? hahaha don't know where that came from, kinda like a brain fart. fart. hahaha....someone smoking the weed in here????? anyways. back on track here. i'm thinking about sending kerri this poem i wrote her in the mail. any opinions on that? its just that i feel like i have to fight for this. i don't know why. normally i just chalk it up and say fuck it. it hurts yeah, but something about this one. everything reminds me of our time together, a stupid flavor of snapple, of course songs, dates, times, places, i can remeber what she wore the first date we were on, the night i met her, the first time we kissed, what she wore on valentines day. it all sucks ass. hahaha...as bad as love is, its great. it really is. if we didn't have it what would we really live for. im talking of love of our familys, our friends, and our lovers. that affection, that caring, that closeness. i miss the closeness. the physical closeness. laying on the couch falling asleep watching a movie with her in my arms. the feel of breathing. the smell of her in the morning. the hair and skin with that warm morning soft scent. im going to go do laundry. clean something, take my mind somewhere else. anyone have any suggestions for good books. i have to get my mind stimulated. thursday i was thinking about all this shit above, and my job hunt, and i got back to the deli with three deliverys stil in my car. alright kids, im out the dishes are done man.