Watched the english patient last nite. i really love that movie. i know it is long, and some peole think very boring/sappy, but it is really a great movie. makes me long for a time passed. sometimes i feel as if am living in the wrong time. or that i feel a desire to travel the world when it was a bit slower, a bit more innocent. Like what you see in movies. Casablanca, indiana jones. i know it sounds like i am probably off kilter, but there is a romance to it maybe. America was a different place then. I would have loved to see NY City immediately following WW II. last nite before watching the movie i loaded all of my writing that i had on 3/4 inch disks in to my laptop. I have decided that i am going to make an effort to publish my own little chap book. this blog that i go to written by jami attenberg (whatever-whenever.com) well she has published a few books, two of which being self published short stories, called instant love and instant love 2. My plan of attack is to go to the few independent bookstores around here in Long beach, and Rockvlle Centre, and see if i can get some shelve space, or even a spot at the counter. of course i would have to give the store a cut of the profit, which would mean i would have to go and figure that out. i would print out a certain amount for the first printing, and then hopefully after the first priniting sold out, print more. each time being careful not to print to many, so as to have a surplus. i think it is totally possible. i also would like to print my great uncle's story of the a typhoon that his landing craft weather in the south pacific during WW2. well this post is a definate rambler. ithink i am going to go into the city saturday for a Canisus ALumni party. yeah i know didn't go to canisus, but its molson beer, and buffalo wings.

so yesterday i went and got my passport photos taken. for what i have no idea. i guess i would like to go on a nice vacation sometime soon. i don't see that happening though as i need to get a job first and then of course i can't just up and say hey i am going away for a few days. unless i make that known before i am hired. well it is just a good idea to have a passport. apparently more than 80% of americans do not have a passport. this i learned from this English girl i was dating awhile back. i had gone out with her and all of her english friends, and being the only american i was, well the topic of conversation. it was like 20 questions. and of course they were taking bets on whether or not i had a passport, and well they were right, i did not. so i went out and got an application, and filled it out, and......well.....that was as far as i got. so yesterday while i was running errands i decided to get the photos taken at AAA, i used to work there and they are free for gold card memebers, so i stopped by said hi to some old friends and got some pics. i called Kerri last nite. got her voice mail, and then of course my minds starts spinning, maybe she is out on a date. funny thing is i have been out on dates, and each one made me feel farther away from her. then of course saturday nite when i ran into her as i said before, her smile took it all away. put me on cloud nine, i can totall dig what jenks is saying about simple things. i feel like i am in the movie Singles right now. you know the scene where the architech/city planner guy is jobless, and sending out resumes, and the girl come back. he says, i want to start again, i want to get to know you all over again. well thats what i feel like. i want to start over. no making out, well a little bit, but, nothing major, that sounds so junior high, eh i don't care. i want to spend time together again. i think it can work. normally when someone breaks up, i just say fuck it, i hurt for awhile, go through the stages, sad, depressed, then the intense disliking. well for some reason. i have not gone through that. maybes its because it has had no finality to it. it is an ongoing mess. ah whatever. if she says now, then it is time to mosey on. so last nite we played cards again. i think we are going to officially dub it Tuesday nite trouble. it was Mickey, Calvin, Dan, this guy Chris who used to manage Riverside in Lewiston, and myself. I took the first pot!!!! it was only 60 bucks cause it was only cal, mickey and myself. then i lost the next two and quit. it was fun all in all. well i have to run to the bank before it closes. and i might go into long beach to take some pics. i really enjoy posting them here. tschuss

here are some pics of today's jaunt in pt lookout. the last two pics are of my car and the inside of my apartment. i had to see if the camera was charged enough and yes that is first daughter or whatever katie holmes movie on the tv. enjoy the pics, i couldn't put them all up. there were too many!!!

Went out last nite and had a really good time. I actually had visitors, well a visitor at my place last nite., My buddy Rudy stopped by and we pregamed before going out. See no one every comes by, and its not like my place is not comfortable or that you can't hang out. Everyone just ends up going other places i guess. it was cool none the less. After that we venture down into Long Beach and bounced around a few places. Ended up at the Inn of course and ran into Kerri. It was actually really good seeing her. We talked and just basically smiled uncontrollably at one another. The kind of smile that hurts. nothing was resolved or anything, but she does want to talk, go to dinner. Today is a great day. just a smile can really change ones attitude. I also ran into an old friend who works in this bank, Astoria Federal, a big bank down here who wants me to come in and give her my resume. So hopefully this will be the beginning of a positive upswing. Work, and everything else. Maybe it was that blue piece of beach glass? It is like a four leaf clover they say. It would be nice. There are so many things I want to accomplish, get done, take care of. Being in a positive mind set really helps.

I was checking out the war of religion in the posts. I agree that healthy debate is important. unfortunately religion and politics are topics that always come under the gun, and no one is ever swayed it seems to the other side. For example i posted something a while back concerning my "liberalism" there are many topics i am liberal leaning. There are also many topics i am conservative on. As mentioned in the previous post (a while back) i think that is the best course for people to take. Deciding issues across the board, or voting party lines does not allow one to make use of their intelligence and good judgement. Abortion and war are very touchy subjects, as well as religion and politics, but to say that one school of thought or the other has the answers, or is best equipped to provide answers is a stretch. War is an ugly thing. Unfortunately wars happen. It is because humans lack the ability to live peacefully for extedended periods of time. There are various factors that lead to war, greed, jealousy, extreme vews, all of which are faults of being human. Our intelligence and reason are what we are to use to avoid such calamities. As seen with the earthquakes in asia, the tsunami, and the hurricanes in the gulf this year, we have all we can do to survive the wrath of mother nature. Now i am a realist. war is going to happen, but it has to be after healthy debate, all facts being rock solid, and the consent of a people. of course not everyone is going to agree but that is the beauty of our country, you can disagree. Abortion, well I don't like it. HOWEVER, i do feel it should be legal. Now abortion should not be used as a means of birth control, but in order to keep women from going to illegal clinics, or doctors performing unhealthy, unsafe procedures, it needs to be protected under the law. Every individual who is directly effected by this issue, has to decide and live with the consequences of such and act. who's right is it to legislate people's private lives, when the personal suffering by either outcome has to be endured for a lifetime. I believe in the sanctity of life, and i feel that in itself is involved with the whole god question. wow i really went off there. a lot of it is disjointed because i am watching this movie the Jack Bull on HBO, John Cusack is in it. its really good. I think i am going to start trying to take more pics and post more. maybe this week while it is nice i will go to the beach and take some pics around long beach show you all where i live. I mean i know where all of you are, well not really. but you know what i mean.

the blue piece is right next to the green one.

those were the pics from today's excursion. it was 50 degrees here and i got up early this morning probably because i didn't go out an punish my body last nite. i think tonite might make up for it. though i would like to get up early again tomorrow and go walk the east end of long beach. i found a BLUE piece of beach glass today. i am going to take a pic of my beach treasures and post them for you all to see. i wish that i could take pics of what i see as iam driving. i mean if i had one of those fancy cam corders, they have a feature like that. getting to Robert Moses State park, you drive out the ocean park way which is between the ocean and the great south bay. you have a great view of jones beach, as well as the jones beach ampitheater. It is a really beautiful drive. had the sunroof open flying down the parkway jammin to lowest of the low. nothing better. after that i went to saloon to have lunch. a battered fish sandwich and a pint of bass. it was all in all a great day.



the pics are above peeps

all this talk of religion lately sparked by ejtower's post on atheism is cool. Today saw a show on the history channel and it was from the bible to the battlefield. it basically explained how the bible's accounts of battle's can be decoded and really make sense. I believe in god, but more in a sense of a spirtual energy that ties all of us, nature surrounding us, together. a being or something that is a higher ideal. a morality. i do feel that intrinsically we have a battle between good and evil in us all. different circumstances either make us stronger, or weaker in this fight to maintain the decency that we should live are lives with. It all ties in with idea's on liberty and philosophy and the like.

so yesterday i went to do laundry and i was having trouble finding my book to read. well i wanted to get to the laundromat and get it done because i had a date last nite, so had to have clean jeans (not like i don't normally have clean jeans) i got to the laundromat and put my colours in and my whites in, and the lady who works there got my attention and asked me if this book that she was holding was mine. i was really excited, more so because i was getting my bookmark back that i was looking for feverishly all week. see this bookmark is a very important possesion. It started out as the beginning of a short story i had an the idea to write. it was more prose than anything. well for some reason or another i decided to fold up the paper in 4's, and begin using it as a bookmark. well while i would be reading, any reference to another author, book, poetry, anything that would be mentioned that seemed worth reading, especially classics, i would write down on this newly transformed bookmark. i had written a few poems, and on one occasion i was home a few summers ago, and sitting outside at bullfeathers, an ex girlfriend and i had written some erotic haiku back and forth on it. it was a simple piece of paper, and it is quite odd, but i a really annoyed that it is gone. what makes it worse, was i asked the woman attendant if she had found the paper with the book. now in doing this, in no way was i accusing her of turning through the book, or taking the bookmark out and looking at it. my point was that while another attendant may have moved the book out of the way behind the counter and it could have fallen out, and would she please just take a look around behing the counter, on the shelves and in the drawers and the few file keeping folders and binders. well she gave me attitude and not once did i raise my voice or get aggresive. i was very....understanding, very calm. i explained to her the significance of the bookmark, and what was on it. it was odd, because normally i have a good relationship with this woman. i mean i don't know her name but we are friendly, small talk, i hold the door for her when she is taking laundry out to peoples cars, stuff like that. but then again, this was the same woman who had no sympathy for my roomate when this couple went through his laundry and stole new jeans, boxer briefs (yeah someone stole guys underware, fucked up) she said that she saw nothing. well the laundromat is not that big. i fucking hate laundromats. well my date was nice last nite. met out for a couple drinks at this bar effin groovin. they have a ton of cool beers on tap, and in the bottle. stuff that really packs a walop. like 12% alcohol. well i had two of the lightest beers there called effin lite, and melissa had two diet coke and malibu. the converstaion was not bad, it would ebb and flow, which was kind of rough at times, because it seemed like the responsibility of reviving the convo was placed squarely on my shoulders. she is a really nice girl, and not nice in the oh thats not gonna work nice. she has beautiful dark eyes, and dark hair. i have trouble not looking at her lips while she talks, because they are just aching to be kissed. i was sitting there trying to figure out what they would taste like, and i figured it was something berryish, because when she would talk, her breath would come out and i thought the scent was the lip gloss. the date went about 3 hours, and it really didn't seem like it was that long, it flew by which is a good thing i think. i guess my problem is that she does not seem that enthusiastic. but she keeps calling and persuing. or it could be that i am in that place right now where i can't get my antenna to pick up the signals. the date ended with a hug and the call me i had a good time, we have to do this again. then when we were on the high way i was sitting at a left turn and she went bye beeped and waved. we shall see.

went to the beach today for a walk, its' still nice out down here and on my walk i found a message stuck in a wine bottle. seriously i did. it was really quite exciting. it took awhile for me to get the damned thing out though. i broke the cork off, and then pushed the rest of it in with my car key. the problem was getting the messages out of the bottle would really require me to break it. i walked up the beach to the board walk, and tried to whack it against one of the concrete piers. the problem was i didn't want to draw a lot of attention with the sound of breaking glass. then i found this piece of a bolt or something, layed the bottle in the sand and then hit the neck of the bottle. it broke easily and then pulled out the messages. well the excitement kind of ended then because the messages were really not that great. one of the pieces of paper had an address on it, and according to that the notes originated in Mahopac, which is up along the hudson river well north of the city. so now i am wondering if that is really where the bottle was thrown in. i mean i wouldnt think the currents would deposit the bottle on Long Beach, but rather on the Jersey Shore. The other piece of paper had rambling on it that i can only assume were written while the bottle of wine was being drank. i might send a letter to the address on the one piece of paper, not sure. i think saturday i am going to take a trip to sag harbour or shelter island. I would like to go to some beach that i have not been to yet. it is supposed to be 50 hear this weekend, even after the bad weather we are expecting on wednesday and thursday. john steinbeck lived in sag habour so maybe he has a house out there i can check out while i am out there. i am going to try and take pictures of the notes and then load them up for you all to see.