So, "Boondock Saints" is playing at Bacchus tonight. Anyone going?

• I need to post and get some thoughts out of my head but my fear is that these thoughts will come across to everyone as incredibly arrogant. Arrogance in not my intention. I just need to state facts. And that was my little caveat.

I have a good life. I've been privileged in a way that I could never have possibly envisioned for myself. As a writer, it's something that I would write for a character but two + years ago could never have seen for myself. That's when I became "That girl"- you know, the one that you hear about who has something happen that is so amazing that you think, "Why can't something like that happen to me!? I've written before about my fantastic uncle and the incredible opportunity that he and his wife have given me- mainly, asking me to be the caretaker of their house in Colden. I live here, in this lovely, private, log-cabin, chateau style house- rent free- and have only two real conditions- I can't have a pet and when my uncle and my aunt come out to visit together, I have to move back into my parents' house. The last time I actually had to go back to my parents' house was May of '07. And he's the uncle who, unexpectedly, sent me an 8 gig Ipod nano when I graduated. And that turned out to not actually be my graduation present! He's currently in town, just for a very short stay and yesterday he took me on a shopping spree- he, with his impeccable taste (truly, he's a straight guy with impeccable taste and design sensibilities! They do actually exist, ladies!) outfitted me with, as Tim Gunn would say, "Wardrobe essentials." He paid for everything. I'm not going to lie- it was awesome and fun as hell- as fun as I imagined that a shopping spree would be, better because I was with my super fun, really cool uncle who has amazing taste in clothes. The shopping spree was my graduation present. And the most extravagant thing- the thing that makes me feel actually guilty (but that I absolutely love!) is he even bought me a Burberry trenchcoat! A fucking Burberry- me!- this girl from Lackawanna!

And I can't help but wonder why have I been so blessed? What did I do to actually deserve this life? Why am I so special? And then, and here's the heart of the matter for me, as I have been so very fortunate, is it right or fair that I should want more? I don't mean that I want more in the materialisitic sense I mean in the "I'm Still single and would love to be in a relationship" sense. I'm beginning to think that, perhaps, I just be happy with what I've already been blessed with and just stop wanting for more. Maybe I've tapped out on my good fortune and trying to find that perfect love too would be like Iccarus flying towards the sun. I'm beginning to think that I should stop all of that wanting and just be happy with the life that I have- say "thank you!" to the Universe (which I, literally, thank God everyday) and just accept that, perhaps, my life is as good as it gets- alone, just me and be fine with it. What do you think?

So, after an early afternoon nap and a trek out to the mailbox, I had a brief "eureka!" moment and realized that I could check out my grades online to see what I got on my grad. project and to know, for sure, if I will actually be getting my diploma- be an actual graduate with a Master's Degree. I GOT AN A!!!! It's so wicked awesome! So, it is official, I have graduated with a Master's of Science in Elementary Education! Now, it feels good. Last Saturday was really fun, but I couldn't get excited. Now, I actually am. I suspect that it will begin to feel real once the diploma actually arrives in the mail. Then, I get to apply for my teaching certifiication and actually be an elementary school teacher as well. The only thing still hanging over me, asides from student loans, is my project for the one class that I took an incomplete in. Once that's finished, then I'll REALLY be done! That is, until I decide to go and get a second Master's.

It usually happens that I have my best ideas when I first get up in the morning. I've written some of my best papers that way. And, usually, I'm devoid of ideas at night, go to sleep, and when I wake up, to quote Sean Connery as Dr. Jones, Sr., "The solution presents itself!" Does this happen to anyone else?

Speaking of Dr. Jones, I am so Freaking excited for the next Indiana Jones on Thursday! The question is, will it actually live up to the hype?

I have finally joined the new millenium- technology-wise- well, sort of. My fantastic uncle, God love him, bought me a blue ipod nano for my graduation! I'm a tiny bit afraid of it as I am prone to be a little brutal with my things plus I have a tendency to lose things. Although, my brother bought me an mp3 player for my 30th and I haven't broken or lost that one yet and it's been nearly two whole months! For me, that's some wicked progress! So now, as I write I am downloading the iTunes set up thing which will take approximately 10,000 years on my slow ass internet connection. How vexing! I swear free wifi is almost my whole reason for hanging out at Spot Coffee on Delaware as of late. It helped immensely the last few weeks of grad. school.

Are there others who actually leave their houses in order to get things accomplished? I was finding that in order to stop getting distracted, that I had to leave in order to get things done for school. For some reason, I could concentrate better sitting in a damn coffee shop downtown. Don't know why, but it worked. Anyway... that's old news.

Have I mentioned that I'm a campaign to bring back "wicked" like it's 1982 again? I especially am fond of "wicked awesome!" Oakey- Doakey. Night all!

That would be the media trend started during the whole Jennifer Lopez/ Ben Afflek sham relationship of Benifer. Now there's TomKat, Brangelina, and the one that just set me off- Gyllenspoon! Give me a fucking break already! Do these nimrod "reporters" actually think it's witty?

I just noticed that my blogs totally died off right when I went back to grad. school! I know that seems like a totally stupid and obvious thing but I never actually paid attention to the direct correlation!

Oh yeah, and I look a little different now. I've lost some weight and my hair is auburny-brown. I'm hoping to keep the weight off- that was a fantastic side-effect of student teaching! I even actually joined the BAC. Madness I tell you! Perhaps, I may actually start going out again! What a concept! I don't think I'll know what to do with myself with all of this time that isn't dedicated to school, but I'm sure I'll figure it out! :)

My fingers don't want to work today! I keep hit "enter" when I mean to hit "tab." Anyway...

So yes, an era is ending and as one ends a new one begins. How does the saying go- Better the Devil you know, than the Devil you don't? So, I've finished typing grad. project. I finished fixing some things and adding my appendices last night/ this morning and have printed up copy one. One more to go and then to Kinko's for binding. Keep your finger crossed, E-peepers that I get a good grade!

I'm still not excited about graduation. It's weird. I'm looking forward to it, but not excited. I don't think I'm going to feel right about this whole end of school thing until my Diploma actually arrives in the mail. I am, however, pretty psyched about going out with friends after the graduation! There's even a rumour that Mrs. Trisha is going to come up! I think I'm more excited about that than anything else!

Enjoy your day, e-strip.

• Sigh* Three years of work is nearing an end. I graduate with my Masters on Saturday. And yet, I'm still afraid to say that "I'm graduating" lest I jinx myself. I still have to assemble my grad. project and get graded for it. Plus, I will have one class hanging over me as an incomplete but I don't need it to graduate. I need to get an extension in my teaching certification. It's important but not the end of the world if I take a couple of extra months getting it done. Now, the truly terrifying part begins. I'm finishing school and now, I need to work towards that rather elusive goal of finding a great elementary teaching job in Western New York because, frankly, I don't want to leave good ol' B-Lo. I love my hometown. Have become rather attached to it, to be truthful. And lately, I find myself wracked with insecurities about my worth and abilities. I know that it's just stress. (as if the word "just" should ever come before the word "stress!!) I'm making myself mad as I try to fight an ever looming depression- my second this year and I hardly ever get depressed- and hold on to the knowledge that I am a damn good teacher!! ARGH!!!!!

Audeo! It's my new mantra. I want to get it tatooed on my body. I'm just not sure where. Audeo. I just have to remember that and keep my chin up, secure in the knowledge that whatever happens, I am a damn good teacher.

What is so very great about E-strip is that it's always there, even when I'm not. Thanks, E-strip!

All right, I've been a very, VERY bad E-Peep and for quite some time now. I shall try to be better.

A million and one things- Went to Brushwood last weekend- me, the little Anglican girl hanging out with a bunch of naked Pagans! So fun! Those Pagans sure know how to party! Unfortunately, I was exhausted and so did not party my hardiest. I don't know if I even know how to anymore.

Am leaving my job in two weeks- four officially. I start student teaching this semester and so, as I have not figured out how to be in two places at once, and have not been graced with Hermione's time turner, I must do it. It's scary- leaving what one knows and embarking into rather unknown territory. I'm excited. Particularly as I will begin student teaching at the Montessori School in Buffalo.

anyway....

See ya around, Peeps!

Have you ever seen the movie, "Defending Your Life" by Albert Brooks? It came out in the late 80's and is actually, in my opinion, quite brilliant. For those of you that have not seen this movie, the premise is a guy dies in a car accident and goes to the place that is the step before making it into heaven where you must review key moments of your life and defend them. If you defend it well enough, or lived a virtuous enough life, you are deemed fit to move onto heaven. If you do not defend your life to their satisfaction, then you must return to Earth, be born again, and essentially, do it all over again. Lately, due to circumstances that have occured in the past 11 months, I feel that if I had to defend my life, I would fail miserably, that I haven't lived enough, loved enough, was brave enough, honourable enough. I'm rapidly approaching 29 and I'm analyzing so much lately. My birthday is not the reason that I'm analyzing my life- that would be car accident 2 and, particularly, 3 and now, I'm loathe to admit it but it's true so I'll just say it, on my way to buy an ink cartridge at 8:30 P.M. tonight, a black dog just walked in front of my car. I hit the brakes. My car hit the dog. I didn't run over it, or anything, but I bumped it. The dog got up and walked away (it did seem to be hobbling a bit) and I'm wracked with guilt. The dog walked away, so I drove away and that is what is bothering me. Anyone who knows me knows that I love animals but I didn't know what to do. The dog walked away... it was so weird the way it happened, it just kept coming, didn't even try to get out of the way- I keep going over it in my head but I know that the reality is it could have been so much worse. I keep praying for that damn, stupid dog, as though it were my own, praying that it will recover- a bit wiser from our incident. And frankly, I'm more than a little pissed at the people that let it out- maybe they didn't know it got out and was heading for the street, but someone should have been paying attention. My question is-Am I a bad person for what I did? I certainly feel like one right now.
How ignoble of me.