I haven't read the article in question in Rolling Stone, but its not particularly surprising to me that somehow that uneducated lunatic's discombobulated rantings ended up in RS - it is well known for left-leaning opinion pieces. It is particularly unfortunate because I like reading music magazines and this type of garbage basically ensures that I will read anybody else's magazine instead. If they are going to have some schmuck write their inane opinions in the magazine, at least give the public somebody with some credibility and reknown. The Beast is utterly worthless outside of a few laughs.

I have been invited to several Halloween parties this weekend - I'm completely flattered and I am definitely going to be showing my face. The problem is that I'm not particularly a Halloween person - there is no way that I'm wearing costumes anywhere. So, partygoers and party hosts - be forewarned that I'm showing up in my standard uniform of collared shirt, North Face vest, jeans, shoes of some sort and gelled up hair, probably in some sort of mohican party boy fashion. Since I rarely go out anymore I think this will fly because its a legitimate "as himself" type of situation - I can hardly be found in public anymore!

Although I do not wear costumes, the one thing I particularly enjoy about Halloween is that it gives girls license to show as much off as they want. I absolutely love that - do your thang ladies!

Recently, Scotland topped the list of the world's most violent country, sparked by a "booze and blades" culture that spurs the worlds most recorded (and apparently unrecorded) violent assults. England and Wales come up a close second.

So, how do the British handle their violent criminals? They play Scrabble!

I wish I wasn't making this up. I'm listening to BBC now and they are talking about it. They feel that this allows violent criminals to learn how to act in civilized society and, golly gee, these guys really are going to reform only if we don't actually treat them with contempt and like the animals they are, and be NICE to them. Scrabble is part of this program because it encourages literacy, according to the prison official I'm listening to. I'm glad that these aren't my tax dollars that are being spent on such absolute naivety and foolishness.

What an absolute crock of shit - these people are getting what they deserve from their criminals. Hell, if I were ever to commit a violent crime at this point I'm absolutely certain that its going to be in the UK. Why bother dealing with the US criminal system when I could simply get a slap on the wrist and a new board game?

EDIT: In other news, Steve Wynn, who if you've ever been to Vegas you surely know who he is, had to cancel an auction of a Picasso set to fetch $139m because he put his elbow through the painting!

So bored. I have gone all night without my ID and never even bothered to worry about it, until we got to 67 West! Screw that fucking place, I see no reason to spend my money there. My friends are there and I am not. I'm perfectly happy here at home. Although this may be trivial for those without power - screw Chippewa!

So yeah.

I just paid a $655 "parking tax" as I'm now calling it. Plus another $20 to get from Elmwood to City Hall and back.

I am beginning to hate this city more and more every day. Larsons need to do the prudent thing and get the fuck out of dodge. Its tragic that I love this place so much, yet despise how the city is run and how punitive and draconic a place it is to live.

Now the police are looking into legal recouse to find out if it is possible to strike because they haven't gotten their pay increase. You know what BPD? FUCK YOU. Welcome to the real world, where people aren't necessarily guaranteed pay increases every year regardless of performance. Any guesses on how the public rate you guys? Try F minus. You fucking guys and gals are the epitome of what is wrong with the region. I'm okay with police officers getting paid. What I'm not okay with is that you demand *from the hard working public* that you should get your % increase every year. You work for us. Remember that the next time you shit where you eat. You don't get any sympathy from me, you never will, and I'm fairly confident in saying that most Buffalonians feel how I feel. Do your fucking job - which by the way, is catching criminals and dealing with the 50+ homicides thus far this year, rather than setting up stings on convenience stores to see if they sell cigarettes to minors. You are fucking terrible, BPD. Everybody hates you right about now.

You know its strange and ironic that I would be the one that would be telling people to relax, chill out and drop the drama. Ultimately, regardless of the issue, in the long run its completely meaningless.

I'm tired of not being sociable. So we went to Mother's. I got my Oban 14 yr. single malt, hung out with some friends and mutual friends... and got to meet (e:southernyankee) in an impromptu meeting! There is nothing Yank about you - you are a sweetheart. Don't let the grimy shit in Washington spoil you!

We got a new neighbor, and she is FUCKING GOREGOUS!!! She seems really nice as well. I think things around here will be mellow for a change, and that is definitely welcome.

(e:decoyisryan) - your fatal mistake is getting mixed in with the female drama that surrounds you. Understand that the two females you live with are like drama magnets - I think even both of them would agree with that particular sentiment. I love them both - hubba hubba pant pant pant - but just remember that female drama is like a vacuum black hole that is purposely meant to suck in any non-suspecting male incidental participants straight to a drama-filled hell.

Good night now!

I think I want to throw up.



Ladies and gentlemen, the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger. No, I didn't eat this or find it locally.

Ok - some of you may have heard of the recent stunt Sacha Baron Cohen pulled at the White House, in character as Borat ->http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyid=2006-09-29T124641Z_01_N28213372_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-BORAT.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

Not only is this a brilliant bit of hype for his movie that he got out of this, but the title is absolutely great - "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

Cohen is one of the best comedians out there right now, if you ask me. Ali G is hilarious. For once, I cannot wait for a movie to come out!

I'm rarely shocked over news stories anymore, and frankly this is barely newsworthy, but extremely hilarious. Oprah pumps her own gas for the first time since 1983... which isn't too terribly surprising since a lot of megarich people don't pump their own gas. The kicker for me was who, as they say in the biz, showed her up!



Last night I had a "Honky Tonk BBQ Pork Burger" at Red Robin when we finally got near our hotel in Kansas City. I rarely eat burgers but I couldn't resist one with a name like that - damn you marketing people!

Gas here is so cheap that if NYers saw this they'd be filling every available container around the house. $2.04 per gallon - thats the "lazy bastard last minute on airport property" price so I wonder what it will be like 20 miles east of here.

Paul every answer you ever wanted about the stylizing of our neighborhood to "Elmwood Village" can be read in the latest publication by Forever Elmwood. As far as I'm concerned its their fault. According to them, "Strip" connotates bars, misbehaving, and frankly just isn't affluent enough sounding for these people. "Village" is far more posh sounding, attracts idiotic suburbanite types and their money, and is a better word to convey a sense of community.

I suppose we have our own little community here, but the entire topic about what to call this area is FUCKING STUPID. We have bars, we have misbehaving, we have homeless that are like vultures - no amount of sugar coating that with a nice little name like "Elmwood Village" is going to change that. I suppose also that someone could argue that we are copycats and ripping off "Greenwich Village" but we aren't half as cool or as affluent as they are there.

Honestly, this is an attempt to make the area more friendly to people who have money to spend in the stores that line Elmwood and nothing more. Forever Elmwood is an organization dedicated to helping our independant businesses thrive here, and I have no problem with that... lets just drop the marketing ploy, can we please? Our area is what it is, and no amount of idiotic nomenclature is going to change the desire that people have to come down here, bump around and spend money. They are going to do it (or not) regardless of what you call the area.

I'll be sleeping in Kansas City tomorrow night - I really wish I didn't break Jay's camera (by mistake!) - we'll be going to a famous BBQ joint and you HAVE to see what these sandwiches look like. 3" thick stack of meat between two slices of freakin' Wonder Bread. And they serve Bud on tap... and BBQ is the only possible lure to get me to drink that stuff.

I love Scarlett Johansson. No really, I do.

She has curves and she isn't ashamed of it. Hallelujah!

I'm a guy that likes curves on girls. I don't want some waif-like pathetic little chicken leg with no meat on it - I need a certified USDA choice curvy strip of love bacon. That is why I admire Scarlett for addressing her curvy nature in the way she does. Flaunt it, baby.

Seriously. In high school my friends used to say that I had a mystery element floating in my blood called "bigbootium." Fuck it, they were right and they still are. The truth is that I love all kinds of women... but its all about proportion. And Scarlett is PROPORTIONED. I think its so great that she is accepting of herself and doesn't really care that she isn't going to fit into some Hollywood mold when it comes to her looks. You've got a chest, big hips and a round ass? Do like Lil' Jon says.

A tribute to the women with curves!