i wrote this tonite while listening to one of my friends play "open mic" and drinking some white ale. it is in honour of one of our own giving birth to a healthy baby boy.


And to you was given the gift of life

the warmth of the sun as he lay sleeping on your chest

the draw of the tides when he is not in your arms

the wonder of the change of seasons as he grows before your very eyes..





i have to work on it some more, but think that sums up my view on birth. its a beautiful thing, well at least when it is done happening. :)

so last nite i typed my ex girlfriend a letter. i slept on it, literally. i was reading it and fell asleep on the letter. which is fine because i need to make a second draft. its basically asking her if she would want to try it again. its something i have to do. gotta fight for it. i mean its not in a psycho like way. i am just explaining myself and arguing a point. almost like trial. i have all of these good things in my life right now, and even being technically unemployed, i am happy. i have a great group of friends, im interviewing and people are responding, i am busy during the week so i have structure, my affairs are in order and things are moving forward. i mentioned that i have all of these good things in my life, she is just another good thing i want in my life. im also including the poem i wrote for her on new years, hopefully she'll like it. well thats it right now. i have errands to run before my interview. hopefully im going to sag harbour tomorrow. we'll see.

i wrote this while at work yesterday while i was making deliveries.


i drove past a
parade today
and as they say,
everyone loves a parade.

It was an unassuming parade
in a school yard
various ages and sizes of tartan skirted
little girls, and red and brown haired freckled boys.

as i came down the street
i heard the rattle of the snare drum,
and the melody of the flute across
the grey day's breeze.

all in line the band played
while the baton twirlers and hoop throwers
plied their skill with streamers flying high

as i went by i could not help but smile.
driving back through the village, on my way back through
the band had stopped, the traffic lite was red and so
did I,
and the principal, or head mother was announcing
how proud the parents and teachers were
of every ones hard work and dedication

the lite turned green and I drove off thinking
how some of those children must feel right then

I remember back to those days, feeling
self conscious, embarrassed,
everything elevated to an utmost importance,
trying so hard to be older than you were.
and i wondered if any of them
felt the same way.

I wonder what will become of
the drummers, the flutists,
the marching girls

what does the future hold
for these brite eyes,
eyes which hold the glittering wealth and hope
of youth.
these hearts undimmed by the
sometimes heavy handed world of
grown ups

How bright will their futures be?

I drive away smiling because
they are so young, and have
yet to experience the many wonders of life,
to endure the many trials that will shape
and mold them.

I drive away smiling,
everyone loves a parade.
the bright colored uniforms,
the sound of the band,
the wide smiles for the crowds lining the
streets,
the laughter,
the memories of childhood

everyone loves a parade.

anyone else a big fan of making out in the afternoon? (i never used to call it that, got in the habit though and now it sounds alright i guess) i got home from work and that was all that was on my mind today. i mean not that it isn't on my mind more often than that, cause well it is. but today, it just seemed so more intense i guess. maybe its the weather. yeah that could be it. or the fact that when i make a delivery to P.C. Richards (and appliance store locally owned down here) i walk in, and everyday, with out fail, and with prior knowledge to the contrary, i think i see kerri. the girl behind the customer service desk could be a damn stunt double. physical features are very very similar. so while i am standing there waiting for everyone to pay, i start daydreaming. that never is good. today would be a great day to just come home, and have a nice long late afternoon of romantic sex, love making. yeah that kind. then just lie in bed while it gets dusk, get up and get dressed while the street lights are starting to come on and go out to dinner to a quiet little place that is unassuming. i know just the place, go figure. haha..we would be warm and have that soft smell of bed, a little bit of napping, sex, with flushed faces. at the resturaunt we would sit at the bar while our table was being prepared and chat about work, what my friends are doing, what her friends are doing. then we would be escorted to the table and order, smiling at each other, little touches of the fingers while we read our own menus. what'll you get? not sure, this sounds good, what are you thinking of. then ordering, the food is great as always, finish up a and head for home. fall asleep early. wake up to the alarm clock and try to steal a few kisses on her back, her lower back as she tries to get out of bed. of course i lose, but not with out some gain. coming out of the shower in the plush terry cloth bathrobe, hair wet on her shoulders she sits on the edge of my bed and i sit half up and begin kissing her neck, and the back of her head. watching her get dressed, knowing she is going to go teach little kids. i love that really. i can see her in the class if i try, if i think about it. i lay back down and watch good morning america while she finishes up, otherwise i end up making her run late. she leans over and kisses me, more than once and then on our seperate ways to meet the day. i miss that. i miss the tenderness. it was beautiful and i am lucky to have had it, i just want it back damn it. other than that i am happy. really. taking a day trip to sag harbour and shelter island this saturday. it is supposed to be up in the 60's hopefully i will get some great pics for you all and find some cool stuff beach combing and what not. john stienbeck lived in sag harbour. wrote the winter of our discontent there. yup. gonna check out his place. alright peeps sorry bout that just now. but its what was banging around in my head. no pun intended.

i really got a lot of good beach glass as you can see. some cool shells and coral.

yeah wireless sucks. just lost a whole post.

lent, ah that wonderful 40 days before easter. i used to give things up when i was a kid, mostly candy, cause i was not a big candy eater so it was never an issue with me. last nite while out for drinks, i ran into martin, one of our buddies from Limmrick (SP) he said most irishmen give up the drink for lent, and only on the sundays during this time will they imbibe spirits. of course he chastised me for being a dirty proddy (protestant if you didn't get it) as he put it. growing up everyone around me was catholic, and i was the only kid in the cafeteria that had meat on his sandwich every friday during lent. the only day we were not allowed to eat meat was good friday, and of course it was SOOOOOO DIFFICULT. funny thing is there are many days that i don't eat meat. the mind is so funny. tomorrow is the Irish Day party in Rockaway. I AM PSYCHED!!! yeah gonna break that out. i also would like everyone to start using TA-DAOW....remember that? i think it was snoop who popularized that. it is very versatile. it can be used in a variety of ways, just try it out, you will impress anyone you are speaking with no doubt. hahaha.....just a comment on the ensuing brawl on echat over bias on the network news. i feel that if you are going to argue that one is biased, they are all biased. gone is the day that you can trust your news anchor man. they all suck. every one of them. to much time and effort is devoted on tv to what angelina jolie is banging, yes i said what, i mean she was with billy bob, who is wearing whose clothing line, whether or not nick, jake and heath are having a wild rodeo and that is why jessica left him, it is just amazing what people pay attention too. now i can't profess to have all of the answers or even stay extremly tuned in to what is going on. but all of this entertainment tonite and mtv programing is getting our nation of track. letting port deals go through without the blink of an eye, letting jobs be outsourced with out any shouts, hollars of protest. well i am hungry, gotta get some grub. started reading Papa Hemingway, by A.E. Hotchener. awesome book, friggin awesome....Hemingwawould be in my top 5 of people to meet. yeah i know he is dead, i meant if her were alive smart asses. hahaha....seriously Papa was the man.

Happy Fat Tuesday peeps. everyone is probably out partying with timika. normally i would be, but as of late i have been trying to behave. i mean really behave, save dough, you know, kinda grow up yeah right. so i am looking forward to this weekend!! it is the Irish day parade in Rockaway and we are taking a school bus from my friend Shauna's bar , the Recovery Room (great name for a bar huh, its next to a hospital! haha) in Mineola to the parade. the next day there is Irish day in Mineola and the Recovery Room is having real irish bands play all day and serving bangers and mash, and of course Guinness, Harp, and i am sure copious amounts of Jamesons in shot form. I don't partake in the Jamesons myself, quite nasty if you ask me. But one of the best parts of the weekend is i am being introduced to Shauna's cousin. I am actually looking forward to meeting her. Shauna and her sister Tara have been trying to set this up since Thanksgiving, but i had been kinda reluctant. They had tried to set me up with their friend Maureen who was a total nut job, really attractive, but had nothing of interest to say and was seriously certifiable. Anyways, the plan is to go on my interview at 8am, come home change, go to the deli for breakfast and a guinness, and then make our way to the bus in Mineola. from there it is on to Rockaway. i also started excercising today. i guess like working out. i have three months to get in shape for beach volleyball. i would like to play in 2 leagues. a recreational league and a competitive league. thats the one i need to be in shape for. the rec league i can handle no problem. three months should be more than enough time, its not like i am that out of shape. just need to get some more endurance, and work my legs a bit. a few situps so that i have some power behind the ball and that should be it. i cannot wait for haikuster to have her baby. wonder what the lil one will be, what it will be called. excitement!!!!!!!! get ready e strip!!!

I just love reading the political commentary on this site. it is both refreshing and irritating in tha fact that it seems as though people cannot look outside of party lines. party party party, why does it always have to be party? seriously people. i mean cmon. if anyone believes that the fact that such and such percentage of americans will not vote for hillary clinton is a rebuke of liberal thinking is out of their mind. it is because she s a carpet bagger who won because she had an enormous bank, and because the republicans of new york fucked rick lazio. i should know my roomate worked for him, and lost his job because hillary won. not voting for hillary has nothing to do (ok 99% nothing to do) with party lines. its the fact that she is in office in a state that she adopted because she saw an easy win. rudy was on the fence because of his prostate, and the next best guy was rick lazio. he lost because rudy hamstrung him by waiting for ever to pull out of the race and the lazio people mismanaged his campaign. plus there was that infamous "attack" during the one debate that really didn't make rick bring his best qualities forth. I met the guy, great guy, amiable, polite, yeah he is a politician, but he spoke to people as a normal person, regular joe. i guarantee that you sit with ole' Hil, and she will come off as fake as pam anderson's new, old new tits. and as for the clinton budget achievements. isn't it congress who controlls the purse strings? are we forgetting basic government 101? yes the president presents congress with a budget...presents...but congress controlls the purse strings when it comes down to it. I just don't understant the stubborness in staying right/left. doesn't the regular citizen understand that this is what keeps our country so divided? the fact that you let an ideology dictate where your beliefs lie, or actually influence how you think about issues, and therefore who you vote for, is fucking insane. I have said this before, and i will say it again. we need more people that are moderates in the sense that they take everything on an issue by issue basis. me, well you can call me what you want, slap whatever label you want on me. i wont vote for hillary, i will vote for mccain if he makes it, and i pray he does....a group of us down here have mccain shirts, the ones with his vietnam service era photo on the front and mccain for president on the back. this port deal, kinda fishy when a pres has not used a veto once, never threatened and now wants to railroad a deal through that puts a country that could possibly harbour terrorists. and the funny thing is he stood on ruble and yelled that everyone would hear us, yeah and now ports within a 25 mile radius will fall into the hands of a company owned by nations that could condone terrorism at the same time paying us lip service concerning their allegiance in the war on terror. we need to reign in the carriage here. bring ownership and jobs back to our own country...oh yeah in case you were wondering china is financing our debt. the next great super power. i am saying that there needs to be more investigation. more questions by the media who need to do their job and not let don rumsfeld dodge questions with his lame ass antecdotes, or his smarmy behavior. fuck him he is responsible to us, US, not to the big corporations, not to his neo con cabal, but to the people, and the administration has seemed to forget this, and the polarization of our country to such vast extremes has allowed this to go on through an palpable hatred for anyone with the opposite extreme view. we need to do what is best for our country, that is the people who live here, not what is best for the party. the party is nothing, the party should be over, where are the federalists, where are the bull moose, where is anyone else??? oh thats right they don't have money for this 30 second spot. can't wait to hear about this one. have a great saturday nite. gonna go have a few pops.

Love by Billy Collins


the boy at the far end of the train car
kept looking behind him
as if he were afraid or expecting someone

and then she appeared in the glass door
of the forward car and he rose
and opened the door and let her in

and she entered the car carrying
a large black case
in the unmistakable shape of a chello

she looked like an angel with a high forehead
and somber eyes and her hair
was tied up behind her neck with a black bow

and because of all that
he seemed a little awkward
in his happiness to see her

whereas she was simply there
perfectly existing as a creature
with a soft face who played the chello

and the reason i am writing this
on the back of a manilla envelope
now that they left the train together

is to tell you that when she turned
to lift the large, delicate chello
onto the overhead rack,

i saw him lookiing up at her
and what she was doing
the way the eyes of saints are painted

when they are lookiing up at God
when he is doing something remarkable
something that identifies him as God


...yeah i know how that feels..




In my craft or sullen art by dylan thomas

in my craft or sullen art
excercised in the still night
when only the moon rages
and the lovers lie abed
with all their griefs in their arms
i labour by singing light
not for ambition or bread
or the strut and trade of charms
on the ivory stages
but for the common wages
of their most secret heart

not for the proud man apart
from the raging moon i write
on these spindrift pages
nor for the toweing dead
with their nightingales and psalms
but for the lovers, their arms
round the griefs of the ages
wo pay no praise or wages
nor heed my craft or sullen art