It's 5:16 am in the morning. I'm being Vampire at home and listening to Sonic Youth. I love them. Can you hear the thunders..? It was crazy sound and it even killed my music too. Oh well.. I should go to bed.. stop wanding around..

Hey.. Paul.. I was gonna ask you something.. The thing, views.. whenever I log on, I look at my previous journal first.. then.. it came out.. looks like a lot of people have looked at my journal.. Actually.. most of them is me.. Hum...

Oh well.. it's rainning... great..

I got this photo from some Korean website. It looks funny in a way. Well, I don't think it' true. There is no Korean high-school photo either. Well, the guy who posted this photo is a Korean.. That's why... .. Hum..

I had no idea who they are until I got in the place, Sphere last Saturday night. Well, so many people came out for their concert and they seemed very excited about it.
I got a free admission to get in there actually. What happened to me, Here the story is.

Michael Bureman (I don't know his last name spelling exactly), Soundlab assistant called me in the morning. Well, of course I didn't pick up the phone because I was in the bed. Well, but I wanted to check message though.. I was scarcely awaking and checked the message. He left "Hi Soyeon, this is Micheal Burman, I'm looking for Robin's phone number and if you know please give me a call back" Hum.. Robin..? She is in GA right now. I ignored his message and went back to sleep.Then.. He kept calling me again to look for Robin. Okay.. Finally I picked up the phone and "hi" and told him "Robin is in Georgia" He said.. "oh, then would you be interested in passing out flyers at the concert tonight.. you can get a free ticket and free drink" Hum... Sounds good to me. That's what happened to me. So I was substitute of Robin because she wasn't here.

Well, I was interested in doing that not only going to the concert but also checking ID and taking money at the door of Soundlab. I needed some activity. But, as considering that I didn't grow up in America, I don't know many underground bands. So, every time, I find out good bands and music, I'm always willing to go and listen.

Soundlab people were talking about Sonic Youth, but it sounded like to me "Santa Cruse" So.. I thought.. we are going to see Santa Cruse.... Santa Cruse.. Hum.. Sounds not bad. So, I asked Leah at the concert.. When Santa Cruse coming out..?
Of course, she laughed a lot.. No.. No.. Sonic Youth. She said and added who they are. The concert was amazing. I loved it. Of course I had to give the flyers out to people at the concert. Of course I got shy by doing that. Because I never done doing that kind of stuff before. Micheal Burman was looking at me and telling me.. "give them out" The flyers says.. Party at Soundlab afterward Sonic Youth. I don't know I got very shy to pass out flyers. But I had so much fun at the concert.

Afterward, at Soundlab, I checked ID and took money at the door. It was really fun. I couldn't stop smiling people because I was telling people.. "ID and 2 box, please" Well, I don't know.. gathering money and checking ID... It's very fun to do it. Of course I couldn't notice some people's ages. Also, I gave "X" marks to people under 21.. Whenever I gave the marks... I said.. "Sorry,, but I have to give it to you" One guy came up to me and said.. "I never ever seen happy door person like you" Yeah.. I had so much fun..

Thanks Robin for being in Georgia right now.

I want to share a story of my youngest sister with people on elmwoodstrip.com. She wrote on her journal and it made me laugh a lot. Oh well, I miss her.

Okay.. here the story is, actually it doesn't sound really funny for you guys. If you don't like the story, don't blame at me. Please.

My youngest sister, her name is Yoonjeong, she lives in London for school like me.
Actually, she got really young face, and even she doesn't do makeup either. Well, she loves dressing up and collecting pretty stuff. Yeah, sometimes I feel like.. too much.. Anyway.. She goes to school by train in London, yeah of course in London, everything is expensive. So, she wanted to save money from transportation. In London, under 15 years old children can get 50% discount for the trains. Well, she is an asian and got young face. So, she always gets tickets for children.. under 15 years old ticket, then she can save money. 50%. She never had a problem with that until a train guy who takes care of ticket thingie asked her the other day like..."how old are you?". She never expect that's gonna happen to her. So.. she said.. "15 years old." But the guy was very suspicious of looking at her and asked her again "When did you born?" She couldn't calculate at the moment immediately. (Actually she is 24 years old). Even she didn't know when 15 years old kids born. So.. she just said.. "1986" which means she could be 17 years old or 18 years old. And the guy gave her evil eyes. "That's not 15 years old kids born year" She got really embarrassed on the train and didn't know what to do. Even she thought.."oh my god, I might go to police station" But, the train guy smiled her later around "don't do that from now on" So, she survived. But she wrote, she still does that. Hum.. that's my youngest sister..

I guess, the train guy must be known some asian girls got young face so that they can't notice their ages exactly. Anyway.. I thought it was so funny. Actually the way she wrote about the story in Korean was so funny. Well, we are trouble in another country. Me, I got a problem in this country.."car problem because I didn't take care of car inspection thingie and tickets thingie so that I can't drive my car right now" And, my youngest sister just wanted to save money.. but.. it's a problem for her sometimes. Oh well..

Here my youngest sister recent picture in London is.

I was gonna correct my grammar and english.. but I'm too sleepy to correct my journal right now.. But, music keeps me awaking.. Do you know Sufjan Sevens..?
It's very mellow that makes you feel trveling somewhere.

So, I came back to Buffalo last night and Alan and Anna picked me up at the train station. Traveling with train in this country needs little your patients, otherwise you can get bored or tired. But, I liked it a lot. The railroad follows Hudson river from the Croton-Harmon to Albany which represents so beautiful senery that gives you heart-meditated. I want to go treveling there again and get off each station, stay one or two night at a cheap safe country-style hotel. Also, have good music collection with me, without having music it doesn't make me feel romantic or meditated. I regrated that I didn't bring my video camera on this trip. Actually I was thinking that I don't deserve to be a video artist. Many successful artists always carry their stuff everywhere they go. Well, I got a lot of things come up about my work while sitting in the train cafeteria. I like the cafeteria on the train a lot. The windows widely opened that can capture your eyes on outside passing senery. I drew some stuff from passing images - I haven't drown for a long time.- and I wrote some my impressions.

"Romantic feelings are from human meditated nature."

Well, I told Alan about this on the way school this morning, he gave me funny eyes and told me "That's in general".. Right, that's in general. Oh well,..

It's weird back to Buffalo because weather is totally different from Stamford and New York. Of course, it's chilly here and little cold too. I don't know which weather I like. I like Buffalo weather better than too hot weather. But, it makes me feel gloomy and depressed again. It's dark.. My room needs lifting on light all the time. Craig's house doesn't need. I miss his house coming natural light from the all windows. I miss Craig too. Well, I miss his companionship. He is my family in this country. Sometimes we are like cat and dog, but he is the one close to my heart as a friend.

He called me while Alan and I having a coffee after picking me up. Of course, he told me at the station like "Don't trust anybody on the train. Don't leave your bag from you, Make sure Alan picks me up on time, blur, blur" Oh well, I think he is my dad. No, no, no .. He is younger then me.. So, when he called me, I said, "Craig, I made a mistake to get off the train, I'm not in Buffalo." He sounded very surprise.. and telling me "where are you? can you see any sign?" Hey.. boy.. I'm a 33 years old woman, I know things. I wish I could tell him like that.. But,, "I'm kidding" Oh well.. I miss him already. I miss him caring me. I don't know when I'm gonna see him again. I talked to him on the phone tonight. He asked me.. "how's buffalo?" So I told him.."it's so cold and got depressed again" He said.."you never be happy with weather.. too hot, too cold" and it reminds me my old man in Korea. He said same thing as what Craig said to me. I never be happy with weather. Oh well..

I asked Alan and Anna.. "Am I close to your heart as a friend?" Anna said and laughed.."No, you are too far from the heart" God damn it..

Oh well... I need to go to my cave soon..

Hey.. Robin..

Have a lot of fun there. I will be back to Buffalo tomorrow night around 9:30 issue. Oh well, I will see you in a week then.

I was little paranoid Craig coming home late again. I remembered, he was saying to me he would be late because he has a soccer game with co-workers after work when I was sleeping this morning. But, I was very cold to him and wouldn't response anything to him at the time. Well, I just wanted to sleep. Later around, I started thinking of what's going on with us. Well, what's wrong with me. Why I'm so grumpy with him. He is the one I can count on in this country. Why I'm so grumpy.. One thing I know that Craig has a tendency to correct every single things. We argue about all kind of political issues sometimes. I don't give up my opinion to convince him and he doesn't give up his opinion to convince me. Sometimes, I like that, but I got tired of correcting every single words we argured last night. Is that good to make your friend feel guilty or bad by correcting words we spoke..? No, I really don't like that. I don't want to make my friend, especially I care of a lot, feel bad from me. I really don't like that.

Anyways, I bought some fruits and waited him coming back. I remembered that he would be home around 8 pm. But, he didn't get home untile 9:30. I was little paranoid if he was mad at me too. And he came home and tried to talk to me, but I was very quiet and was pretending doing computer whatever. Yeah.? I'm bad. Finally he was joking around me, and I couldn't stop smiling. See? we are good friends. But, still feeling arkward. He was complainning that his boy is so sore from playing the soccer game. I think men are sometimes stupid at sports. I know he likes sports but he just got injury from rock climbing a few weeks ago and now he goes to hospital because of that. Then playing soccer game..? I don't know.
It doesn't matter that's his habitual things.

He said he wants to go to bed soon because he is very tired from soccer game and not having enough sleep because of arguring with me last night. I was still cold to him. Well, say good-night. And, I was sitting in front of computer. One hour or 2 hours later, he came down again and looked for his cell-phone bettery charge thing, of course still complainning his body sore. Well, sometime I give him massage and he really likes that. So, okay.. fuck it. I will do that for him. So, went to his room but he was on the phone with somebody. Ah-ha.. that's why he was looking for his cell-phone battery charge thing. He came down to me and.. asked me.. what's up. So, I asked him who was it..? but he wouldn't tell me with smiling. Whenever he asks me something like that.. I always answer him. Oh well, I already knew who can be possible. So, whatever. Then we started talking again. Correcting whoes faulit last night. Then, finally I told him.. "okay, that was my fault, so are you happy?" He was looking at me.. and telling me.. "do I look happy.?"

I told him that I don't like that. I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings. So, it doesn't matter whatever it was. It doesn't bother me, it doesn't hurt me. Just that's it. Yeah, it doesn't matter.. if it can hurt your friend's feeling.. it's better not to correct things. I know what he meant and he knows what I meant. It's okay.

I don't know. So, I will have a breakfast tomorrow morning with him. Good.

I've realized that Craig grew up a lot. I met him about 5 years ago. At the time, I thought that he was such a good college student knew how to respect Asian culture and had a lot of intesting in Asian culture and society. Well, his ex-girlfriend was a Korean. They met in Germany while studying there as an exchange student. I remember that he called me "Nu-Na" at our first meeting. "Nu-Na" means a respectable call from young boys to older girls in Korea. Well, actually I didn't get impressed anything like that by him at the time. I felt rather that a little white boy was just curious about Asian girls. He helped me out a lot when I got in Buffalo for the first time. He showed me around Buffalo and bars.. school. But, still I felt he was a young boy, even I didn't think that he was my friend whatsoever. Well, I wasn't ready to understand American culture at the time because we usually don't call young people as our friends. And, I just came from business field. So, my attitude towards him was more like superior.

I visit him once or twice in a year after he left Buffalo. He got a very good job offering in Baltimore 5 or 4 years ago. Sooner after, he bought a house and started living with his girlfriend who is a chinese. But, still he was a little boy I thought. Then, he came to visit me last year after breaking up more then 5 years long-term relationship with his girlfriend. I felt really sad for him. I knew him very well and I knew he got so much hurt. Well, he is still hurt. Still, he was a boy.

I've been staying in his house and realized that he is not a boy I used to know. He became a man. Well, I should say that he is a business man who knows about dealing with people. His life seems like yuppy life-style that he doesn't agree with me. He said long long time ago that my life-style was yuppy style in Korea and added that I was spoiled when he saw me for the first time. I don't mean he is spoiled but he is definetely not a poor student. Me, I became a poor student. I don't know.

Actually we argured last night that caused me not to talk to him, but I'm staying in his house, my old friend's house. I told him that I miss his friendship. Well, somehow we care of each other a lot as friendship. But, I see how different he was used to be. Me..? probably same way he changed. complicated.

Wow, the opening sound of elmwoodstrip.com freaks me out little bit. Well, I'm listening to music very loudly at the same time logging on elmwoodstrip.com. Anyways, I had to click anyone's journal immediately. Then the sound could go away.

I just got back from the downtown of Stamford. I don't know that the place I've been hanging out myself is the downtown or not. Well, there are a lot of pretty cafes and restaurants. So, I assume that street is the downtown or it could be Elmwood Street in Buffalo. While I was observing people in that street, I realized that not many young people hang out. I mean, there are people who look young, but they are not like young people in Buffalo. They look rather employers and seem hanging out nice restaurants or cafes after work. Also, everybody mixes.. not only white people but also asians and afro-americans. I like observing people sometimes. Hum..

I went to a Korean restaurant again. I've been going there 3 days straight. Craig's refrigerator is almost empty and we haven't done grocery shopping. So, of course I miss Korean food. That's why I went there again. Hum.. During afternoon, the weather is crazy hot and humid. Well, at night there is nice breeze.. I like that a lot. I'm kind of sad to leave here soon. Tomorrow I'm going to NYC for my friend, Nick's art opening. Before that, I want to do shopping little bit. Time goes so fast.

I talked to Robin this early afternoon and she told me that she is going to GA tomorrow, which means she won't be in Buffalo when I get back. It's alright. Oh well.

My friend, Craig is late again today too.