i had a seriously bad day. so many things went wrong, and i was having a hard time getting out of feeling bad.

so i decided to make a list of ten things that were good about today. and they had to be today specific (like, i couldn't say that i am healthy, because i am healthy every day.) it actually took me a while to come up with the list, but i stuck with it. and i do feel much better now.

here it is:

1. we got a whisk broom. we haven't had one for about a week. me without a whisk broom is like (e:paul) without a computer.

2. carlos, the UPS guy, who is one of the few people in buffalo who know my last name (peace) drove by when i was waiting for the bus, gave me the peace sign and shouted out PEACE!

3. i had this intuition that i would see someone i know while on mass transit today, and i did end up seeing two people i know. (actually three, if you count carlos, but i don't really know him...)

4. i had people to talk to. i talked to my nursing friend matt while in class and had conversations with three of my roommates when i got home.

5. i read the article in buffalo rising about our coop. i thought it was a nice article, and i was impressed with the quality of the articles in the magazine in general. (i don't know how to add a link, but if i did, i would add one here of that article.)

6. i learned something i have wondered about often. ever since i saw trainspotting, i wondered about the fascination with heroin. i saw people in the movie shoot up and immediately lie down. it didn't look that fun, but i always wondered why they lie down like that. it turns out (as i learned in pharmacology today) that it's because heroin makes your blood pressure drop a ton if you're standing, so you're likely to pass out. (your blood pressure doesn't change nearly as much if you're lying down.)

7. i chose to walk to the subway instead of taking the bus this afternoon, and i enjoyed the walk.

8. there was an absolutely amazing sunset this evening. there were clouds low in the sky and due to the sun tinting on the ub shuttle, it literally looked like those clouds were an ocean. i have never seen anything like that before. words can't suffice.

9. the weather was much warmer today.

10. i got my jeans back. i know i don't get excited about possessions, BUT for the past two months, i have only had two pairs of pants i can wear. now i have three. that is much better. (to avoid having my double x chromosomes taken away by admitting that i only have two pairs of pants, i want to say that i have many more pairs of leggings and pants that go underneath the two pairs of pants i have been wearing.)

i want to record this because i think it is the most positive i will ever feel about my pharmacology class.

i just took my second exam this evening. i got an 86, which is a b. i got 80% on first exam, which is a b-, which literally meant that i was failing out of school because i need to get at least a b in every one of the classes i'm taking this semester in order to start nursing school in may.

right now, i have an 87.04% in the class (i got full credit on each of the five quizzes i took), and a b+ is an 87% (and a b is only 81%). so i'm excited that right now i have this buffer that allows me to relax a little bit.

in fact, this is the last "real" exam i have before spring break. i have a statistics exam next tuesday, but i'm really good at math, so i don't even think of statistics as a class, it's more like fun and using a part of my brain i don't often get to use anymore.

and i'm actually excited about the next class we have in my pharmacology class. we're going to study drug abuse. i already read this chapter in the book, because i have a personal interest in this topic... most of what we've learned in pharmacology i don't care for. i would enjoy an "Herbs 302" class, or (as i realized the first day i took this class), i would very much enjoy a "THC 302" class.

for now, all is good in the school department.
happy-relax.

road trip

march 14-19

destination: warmth, relaxation, happiness

i'm so excited!

i fucking hate UB. [/

if anyone is thinking about going to school there, i would strongly advise you to go somewhere else instead. it is the worst school. every single class i'm taking there has over 200 students and no teachers who care about the classes.

and it isn't that cheap either. they stick you with about a million dollars of fees and other hidden costs--way more than any other school i've seen.

plus since it's so big, NO ONE takes any personal responsiblity for anything. i've never met such unhelpful people as those in the student response center (where you go to pay your bills.)

hmm. i just walked outside and they are killing a large tree three houses down from where i live. it wasn't even destroyed in the october storm.

when i was watching this, i called the weatherman and he used the word tranquil to describe the day. he said tranquil more than once.

i don't understand all this destruction in buffalo. first i lived next door to the atwater house (next to panos) and they tore that building down. now it's just a blocked off ugly gravel area. then this poor tree, who just stays there peacefully all the time and gives us oxygen and beauty and stability.

i guess we just need to accept what is and love it all...

literally, i was just appreciating oxygen this morning. my roommate and i had been discussing the high percentage of oxygen that we get from the plankton in the ocean, so i drew a cartoon of someone swimming appreciating all of that.

we have a lot of construction material trash that we need to take away from our house. does anyone know where we can drop that off? and when (what days, hours) we could do so?

thanks!

yes, i've decided that i must skip class tonight.

1. i've already started to paint my face.

2. i'm about 80% finished with the boone's farms (ah, the memories...) that i recently bought.

3. it's MARDI GRAS!!! i went to college in new orleans, it's supposed to be a holiday!


top mardi gras memories:

1995: mardi gras morning. woke up around 9:30, ellen chapman was visiting me. we started drinking around 9:45 and by 10:15, i was wasted. we were eating my roommate's roses and doing shots of whatever we had, which probably included jack daniels, taaka vodka (mixes easy, just add people!) and i seem to remember some of that minty stuff, oh, bailey's. my mom or dad (yes, i was too drunk to remember which one) called at 10:30. i was so drunk i couldn't talk, except that i do remember explaining that it was mardi gras. which probably doesn't really help calm a parent's mind, especially because they had never experienced it.

1994: getting really, really, really drunk in the bar across the street from campus (that i used to always get drunk in). all i remember was twirling around with some guy when the song "come on eileen" was playing. i also kissed some guy who had really bad breath for some beads.
the worst thing i did was mistake my friend greg for my friend kiki. greg is a blonde jewish guy with long hair. kiki is a short black girl. my drunk goggles only told me "friend" and i coudn't tell who was who.

ahh.

gotta finish this boones.

we love you, new orleans! enjoy your rebirth!







if anyone needs some help drinkin' tonight, let me know!

i have a super high metabolism.

and i have been eating (overwhelmingly) vegan again.

that means i got too skinny again.

i don't like my weight to go under 125. i went to the doctor the other day. and sure enough, i am under that.

all my clothes are too loose. i have indentations on the side of my waist. my bras, which are already the smaller ones, are too loose. when we were in high school, ((e:paul)) and ((e:iriesara)) used to call me mammary. now, i'm less than a b.

so i came up with an idea to be a pseudo-vegan and to not have this weight problem anymore: just add oil to everything i eat. this is fun, it makes everything taste like restaurant food. i don't generally use the microwave, so i warm up the leftovers on the stove, adding oil instead of water (which i usually add to reheat my food.)

end result: yummy food. and lots of calories for me!

this is actually the perfect diet for me, i believe. last summer, i became obsessed with this program on mypyramid.gov where you could put in everything you eat and it analyzed ALL of your food intake, including vitamins, omega fats, minerals and all. since i eat very healthy and i my nutrient intake was above the recommended intake for everything except for vitamin E and potassium. vitamin E is mostly found in healthy oils and nuts (and potassium in fruit, which i try to eat, but i don't really like sweets too much.)

thank you for the food, mother earth!

i got the best valentine's wish from my soulmates:

Love
Love is
We Love
You Me
We She He
Love Be
Just Be Love
See Love
Breathe love
Give Love
Eternity Loves Recipie....



hannah and jesse, where ever you are, i send you infinite love. you have changed my life by being who you are. i know your mission is to spread love and to be peace. you have inspired me and shown me a way of living and being love, joy, and truth. thank you, thank you, thank you.

i love you so much.