and if you were with me tonight, i'd sing to you just one more time
a song for a heart so big, God wouldn't let it live...
may angels lead you in






always missing you and love you so much Lauren

Wow it has been so crazy long since I updated! Well I got back from seattle on Monday after a ten day long tour with the chamber singers. I had a really great time. Seattle is such an awesome city...it's really nice and laidback, not all crazy and in your face like New York. Not that I don't love NYC either, and can't wait to spend my big 21st birthday there ;0) But it was so much fun and I will put up pictures soon and go into more detail about some stuff.

So now I'm back and it's the first day of classes. I only had a music therapy class, chamber and studio. We had to do all these funny acting things in studio. I got my jury sheets and I sorta stunk. Oh well, it's a new semester and I'm gonna be fantastic. hahaha. Gerald Thomas Gray gave me the highest score of anyone :0)

I've started writing down all my dreams and stuff. I just bought a lil notebook to keep by my bed because Lindsay has this book all about dreams and stuff and I think that stuff is really fascinating.

Well time to go eat with my wacko sister. Sorry for the lack of updateage. More lata.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!!

It is a bit early on Thursday morning. Well it doesn't feel early because normally by now I would be in the office but now I am just home and sitting around. Today we leave for Freddy and then tomorrow at 5:30 AM we leave for Seattle! Now I've heard there are some random wicked snowswtorms. But maybe bad snow for them is an average day in Buffalo. Who knows? Anyways, I'm pumped. As long as no terrorist bombs go off and we sing well. =0)

I finally found the Harry cd I've been looking for for awhile, YAY! I actually bought it at FYE, which is rare. I was hoping they would be having big sales like the one at the best mall, but alas. Anyway it was only $13.99 so that's about average. Not the usual mall prices. Then last night I packed and hung out with Chris and listened to music and picked out books. I think I am aiming a little too high...I have like 5 books I want to read on tour but I know that is crazy. Chris's mom recommended I read East of Eden by John Steinbeck. However since I couldn't find the book by itself, I ended up taking out a large hardcover book containing five Steinbeck books. That will be nice and light to carry around, eh? I've already read Grapes of Wrath but maybe I'll have time to get through all four other ones, HAHAHAHA....

Thanks to my Buffalo crew for making this break really great, I needed it! Mike, I'm glad you finally are putting up the soap even though I failed you. If you need any help just ask. Yay for the mall and thanks for my Rolling Stone subscription. Jill, can't wait for our little road trip. I'm sure Connor will rock our worlds. Di, I wish I could have seen you more before I left. Good luck at the box factory and I hope I will see you in February in Boston! Jen, sorry you had to go so soon. I'm glad you liked your Christmas presents. Thanks for being just as drunk as me on New Years. hahaha....Beast, same to you! Thanks for being our supplier, and you should come see Bright Eyes too! Jesse, thanks for my little present and it was awesome to see you. Don't go to Europe so much! Mo, you too, hehehe. And I want to come see your apartment in big old Schenectady. Maybe on tour I can bring the whole Chamber Singers group. Besides we never took a picture of me for your phone, therefore I must come see you! Yo, what did I see you like once?!?!?! CRAZY! That is just not enough!!!!!!!! I will see you sometime soon and thanks again for the DD duty.

Wow I feel like I just wrote a yearbook entry. haha. Ok I have to shower and pack and yay all that fun stuff! Hopefully I'll update from Seattle, stay tuned... =o)

So my sister bought Grease 2 yesterday. Yes, Grease 2. Out of every movie ever made, she picks Grease 2. How do you feel about this? I know at least 2 people who believe that Grease 2 was better than the original. I fail to see the logic behind this. I admit Grease 2 is amusing, with classics such as "We're Gonna Score Tonight!" and then that Sex Ed song I've still never seen cuz it's always censored and then of course "Cool Rider". However there's no comparison to the original.

So I'm just updating for the heck of it. While I am excited to go to Seattle, I'll miss it here. It's been a great break, thanks to everyone for making it rock my world. I'm so determined to make 2004 great. I want a whole lot more than the boy next door, I want hell on wheeeeels.... hmmm sorry Grease 2 moment!

oh heck i don't like forced entries. You really have to be feeling it. I can't wait to get our apartment, =o) I feel like we should have our own branch of elmwoodstrip.com. Maybe an MK and Mike special edition Elmwood radio channel or something. That could be an edition to our glorious cd wall...a special radio station. I won't lie, it would be quite the mix.

The 3rd Harry Potter movies comes out in June. I feel like that is a little ridiculous, since we are already on the 5th book. This kid will be like 30 by the time all the movies are out. Have you jumped on the Harry bandwagon? I latched on last summer...I couldn't help it. I didn't love the first book right away, but once I kept reading, mm there was no turning back. You should give it a try. Some people might not want to because it is too "commercial" but they really are fun. And pretty easy too.

Do you believe in soulmates? All this perfect couple talk has made me think about that. I like to think of it not so much as having ONE soulmate, but many. I don't really know if I believe there is one person for everyone. I know there are several people in my life that I feel undeniably connected with, and how is that not a soulmate? But I don't necessarily want to date them. I might not believe in perfect couples...but I know that sometimes two people are so ridiculously great together that it might as well be perfection. Even if it takes them forever to get together, people just know that it's supposed to happen. YA KNOW!?! ....... ahhh, amour. Who does that whole thing anyway?

So, bed time? Yes I believe. I must get up in like 6 hours...haha I'm such a cranky mofo when I'm tired. I get to go into the office YET AGAIN TOMORROW! I feel like an attorney when I'm working there, haha. So yes bed time. go buy the album Clarity by Jimmy Eat World. NOW.

so tonight was so great. a harry cd for $2.50, an amusing waiter at applebee's, high voice galore, a legolas tin (THANK YOU J-DAWG!!!), an exclusive european treasure from mo (thaaaaaaaanks!!!!!) and a male j***e b******** sighting (censored). ahh these crazy buffalonians =o)

even though I sort of think resolutions are dumb because they are usually just things people should do normally, and are usually forgotten by january 6th...i will make a short list, similar to Mike's, but of course not as entertaining, as usual =0)

1) to travel...this is a bit cheating, because I am leaving for seattle on the 8th, so this is like a guaranteed resolution. I would just like to add on to that. I'm thinking about making a trip to pittsburgh with jill and beast in february, and have promised to go to guilderland, and then there's new orleans hopefully...and of course, CHAMBER SINGERS TOUR! (turning 21 while in new york city...=0)

2) to make money. and actually keep it. What an annoying thing, but essential if I wish to afford the best apartment ever. Well, the apt plus all the other essentials (i.e. rain forest room, sliding ladder, ICE CREAM MAKER, waffle maker, 30 to 60 magazine subscriptions, sandwich maker...)

All right well that's all I can think of. And I'd like a higher GPA. And to see Jimmy Eat World in concert again. Well, hopefully they will go on tour, haha. And to find the most fantastic apartment everrrrr. AND TO SPEAK IN HIGH VOICE!! (written in high voice)

good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite

happy new year, again! i can't say i am sorry to see 2003 go...i am looking forward to making 2004 a great one. paul's was a lot of fun, thanks for having us!! i'm really glad di and matt came. i was nervous about the whiskey but it went down quite well and certainly did the trick =o) sorry for no making out but there was plenty of other making out to go around.

i would like to say i'm a superstar at guesstures, by the way. i really stole the show tonight, if i do say so myself. yessss team hotness.

so i have to be up at 7 am tomorow, and its 1, yay! i feel like i'm back at school. but i get to make money, soooo that is nice.

oh i can't wait to go back and see my screamers on the 8th!!! yay seattle.

why is harry connick jr sooooo amazing...i leave you to ponder this...mmmmm.....

Your hands didn't move,
well neither did mine.
New Years will bring
so much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world
it's softer than ever before.

I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.

-- new year's project, fsf


happy new year everyone =0)

I have been informed of the true identity of Jacques, straight from the mouth (err, keyboard) of Di...

HulaKiana17: jacues is a crawfish by the by
FoOcHiK 1 8 2: OHHH
FoOcHiK 1 8 2: yay!
FoOcHiK 1 8 2: thanks!
HulaKiana17: like from new orleans hence the french
HulaKiana17: matt told me when we saw it because I didn't understand why he was french



so there you go, i stand corrected.=0)

Well tonight I decided to do something I should have done a long time ago and looked through the website made in Lauren's memory for about an hour. It has been up since October, and I looked at it a little then but tonight I decided to really go for it. I put up a posting and then went through the whole site, which includes pictures, quotes, messages from the family and an extremely moving and emotional speech by her younger sister.

Please look at the website if you can (called "Remembering Lauren" under my links). I don't know if you have ever lost a young or close friend but I can tell you, it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I just cried continuously for about an hour just looking at and thinking about Lauren. My thoughts are with AJ's family, as well. This time of year must be so difficult for their families, and my prayers are with them.

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone that you love them. Remember what truly matters, don't take anything or anyone for granted because you never know if it will be your last time together, and I mean it. I know I don't always remember this advice, but it's so important. You may think that worrying and fussing about little things is important...but when you find yourself sitting in the funeral of not only a 19-year-old girl, but one of the most talented, beautiful and amazing people I have ever known...you realize what is actually important. I wish it didn't take something like that to make me feel this way, but I am doing what I can and taking away the best things I find. I miss Lauren every day, more than words could say.

I don't mean to be all depressing. But everything I just said, I mean with all my heart. I know it may not mean as much just hearing it from me, but please keep it in mind. Tell people you love them, hug people if that's your thing, whatever! Don't hold back because you never know what will happen. Make memories and live life as much as you can. It's times like those that will live on and never stop making people smile. Thanks for reading.

I can't stand when I write an entire entry and then I accidentally hit something and the whole thing is deleted, ahhh how annoying!

So we'll just summarize. I think I'm going through an "I can't stand any item of clothing that I own anymore" phase, and that's never good because I'm not going through an "I'm making so much money to buy clothes" phase, and it would be nice if the two coincided. Well at least gift cards exist.

Yesterday I enjoyed mucho shopping. I also learned how to wash hand wash sweaters in a machine, listened to some new musica and talked to that "Critter" on the phone for awhile, hahaha. All in all a good day.

This morning my family went to the Original Pancake House and it was so crowded!! But mmmm...so good. I basically inhaled my food. Then of course today I did more shopping and washed more clothes and am almost finished with Cat's Cradle. Good book, it's a really good part but I had to put it down. We're going out to exchange Secret Santa presents (and Mike has gotten me so excited for it...:P ) at Jimmy Mac's. Somewhere new and exciting...very unlike us. I'm sure we'll end up at Coffee & or someplace familiar because a whole new atmosphere might freak us out too much.

Well, time to sign off...any good book ideas anyone??? email them my way!