Ahhhhh. So I just spent a while writing a fairly lengthy journal and then I lost it. Oh well, maybe the forces of the universe are telling me something.

Well I am glad this week is over. It was pretty stressful and I am ready to start anew, even if the new start is only on the calendar and not really in my heart. I took the GREs and then went ok. Basically, the most important thing is that they went. Now that I don't have to study anymore I feel like summer has really started. It's funny because everyone else is starting school and I feel like I am finally on vacation. I'm glad that I don't have to go back for another week. It's nice to have a little longer then everyone else for once. I suppose the trimester system does have its rare moments of benefit.

Anyway, going back to school is bittersweet this year. I am excited to get out of my house, although I really have nothing to complain about. It will also be nice to see all of my school friends again. However, it is hard to go back to the high-stress lifestyle. I will be TAing for three classes and doing my thesis ontop of the normal course load so it should be a busy year. Andrew and I decided, after a lot of discussion and pro/con listmaking, that we are going to be crazier this year, hehe. But seriously, I do need to try to balance work and fun better this year. If I don't try to relax more and hang out instead of work I will probably explode.

Well before I end this journal I just want to resond to two other friends journals quickly.
Jesse: I have the pics of your nipple piercing. Do you want me to send them to you or even possibly post them? They came out pretty good, especially the group photo!
Teres: In response to your journal I just want to say a big I LOVE YOU! That's really all. I know you get upset and those boys are great at treating you like crap, but you deserve better. They may be nice sometimes, but sometimes isn't really good enough. I know you like to be challenged so go for whatever makes you happy...just remember, this is not making you happy. I think you are totally right for cutting them off if they are making you this upset. No matter what we all love you. I'd love to see Justin and/or Jeff and give them both a swift kick in the groin for making you feel like this.

P.S. I saw De-Lovely today and I really liked it. Although it got bad reviews I thought it was definitely worth seeing. I never agree with the critics anyway!

I am such a klutz. Yesterday (Tuesday) I was in the kitchen grabbing a handful of peas (mmm) from the fridge. Of course I dropped some on the floor and when I went to pick them up I smashed my head on the counter. Like not just bumped a little, smashed so hard that I was bleeding. I was so annoyed and in pain that I almost cried. If you have never walked around your house bleeding because of something stupid or klutzy you've done, then you prob don't know what I am talking about. Anyway, I grabbed an ice pack and a glass of water after examining my cracked head in the mirror and walked into the living room. On my way I began to feel a little dizzy. My foot reached the carpet and that is the last thing I remember until my mother was shaking me on the floor after coming home from work. Basically, I must have blacked out and fallen because there was water all over the carpet from the drink I was carrying and my face had a rug imprint on it. Not pretty. I felt really bad for my mom because I know she almost had a heart attack finding me passed out on the floor.

The worst part about all of this is that I have a terrible headache today and a big gouge in skull. I have to take my GREs TOMORROW so that is possibly the worst timing ever for one of my klutzy episodes. I feel so stupid because this all happened due to my complete lack of depth perception and grace. Hello assisted living. I mean seriously how will I ever function alone!? This is the sad truth about my life. On the up side this whole thing has preoccupied my mind so that I haven't been worrying that much about my exam. I guess there could be a good side.

My sorority sister (actaully my Big) got marriend this weekend. Her wedding was beautiful. I was neat because so many of my friends from school were not only there, but in the bridal party. Everyone looked amazing and it was truly an occassion of joy. Here are some pics from Mia's (and Grant's) big day.


Mia and Grant at the altar



They're offically married!!!



Maria was such a beautiful bride.



I can't believe she's married...

Basically it was a great day. Although every hour or so all of my friends and I looked at each other in disbelief that Mia was actually married. It just seems unreal. I hope they are happy. They are in Disney World now for their honeymoon. I think that is the perfect place for them...Grant is totally a big kid. I have to say that I am really going to miss Mia. :(

Here's my turtle Erik...

::Download Flash SWF::

I'm a little nervous that he's depressed lately. Don't ask me why.

Well this weekend should be a good one. I know that Mike's B-day party is going to be a blast and I wish more than anything that I could be there (I really mean that). But instead I will be attending the wedding of one of my best friends at school. This occasion is quite a momentous one for a couple reasons. First off, Maria (my friend) is getting married!! That is so crazy. When I met her three years ago she was dating this guy who she had been with for four year. Now she is getting married...to a different guy! Don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a fly-by-night wedding, but it is very fast to me. At this point, half of the time they have known each other they have been engaged. I hope their marriage works out...they are both great people.

The other reason that this wedding is a momentous occasion is because it is the first "friend wedding" that I have ever attended. There are bound to be more (I already know about another in Sept) and they should all be fun. It's scary to think that it is now fairly normal for my friends to tell me that they are getting married. I am starting to feel old! Anyway, the friend weddings are definitely something to look forward to, even if they do make me a little nervous.

Besides going to the wedding this weekend I will also be seeing Jesse for the first time in forever! I am excited about that. I'm glad he's coming home while I'll be here although it is in the week of hell (translation: GREs are on Thursday). It will be nice to see him again. I hope he hasn't grown! haha.

Well I will check in when this busy weekend is over. I hope EVERYONE goes to the party on Friday night!!! Have some extra fun for me cause I wish I was going to be there too. ;)type

Today I'd like to talk about my mother (random, I know).



I think that having an amazing person for a mother is one of the best gifts a person can have. My mom is probably the human I look up to most in the world. She is smart and determined and somehow she handles whatever comes her way with grace. In all of the stories I've been told about my mother by our family and friends she is always painted as a fun-loving and generous person. It's not that I really need people to tell me this, I have experienced my mother's best qualities firsthand for all of my life. However, sometimes I like to hear what she was like before me. When she could be more carefree and follow her own ambitions.

The most unbelievable thing about my mother to me is that she embodies the kind of strength that often goes unnoticed. She makes everything look easy and never gets to recognition she deserves for all of the things she has been through. My mother never complains or takes advantage of anyone. I don't really appreciate her enough. We have always had a very special bond because for all of my life it was literally just the two of us. My father was never in my life (except to make it more difficult) and my parents got divorced before I could remember. My mother could have easily felt overwhelmed with the idea of raising me by herself, without any family in the area, but she never complained. She was an amazing parent from day one and never let me down or allowed me to feel unsafe. I always knew everything was taken care of as long as my mother was around. She was my best friend, my support, and my strength. I have learned so much from her about how to make the right decisions, even when they are not easy. She lets me make mistakes, never blames me for being human, and loves me even when I am wrong.

The only bad part about having an amazing mother is that you become spoiled. At least I know I have. I can't imagine a life without her. I often take her for granted and assume that she will always be around for me. Even though I know that my mother isn't going anywhere, I should be more appreciative of her. Sometimes you realize that there really isn't anyone else you would rather be with than the person who just left you. I don't want that to happen with my mother. I want her to know how much I love and appreciate her, how much I would miss her if she was gone. Not that she is going anywhere anytime soon... ;)

Lately I have been spending at fair amount of time each day in our new hot tub. It's a lot of fun and so relaxing. Teres has enjoyed the Thermospa with me the past couple nights. I didn't think that I would really enjoy it that much and all summer i have basically just been wanting them to finish up construction on the room we built for it so that our house wouldn't be a mess any longer. Now I really like it despite what I thought before. Here's what it looks like:



Anyway, besides spending time in the spa I have been studying and doing research lately. Since getting back from Long Island I feel like I have gotten over some hurdle that I have been struggling with. This might just be wishful thinking but either way I have been in a better mood lately. Thanks to the people who have helped me lately. Even if your help came in the form of just wishing you could do more, that was enough. I know that it would be naive to think that I just miraculously feel better and I am not going to be down again but for the time being I am just taking everything one day at a time. Today was pretty good. Ask me about tomorrow tomorrow.

The only other thing that is interesting with me lately is that my turtle Erik has been growing so much! I am fairly certain that this is because he is being overfed by my mother who pathelogically feeds all living things within he reach, but I can't do much about it. He is still so much fun and I am so happy that he is doing well. He's been very busy lately and I love to watch him. I'm so glad that Andrew and I decided to make him part of our family :) Here's what our little Erik looks like:

This is my grandmother dancing in her kitchen. I took this video on my digital camera and I am not even sure if it will come out on here because the quality got so crappy when I changed its format. I am still trying to figure this stuff out...let's see if it works.

::Download Flash SWF::

I am in Long Island (MAP TO: 308 RUSHMOREAVE) right now visiting my grandmother. It's not the easiest thing in the world to do because she has become very bitter and unhappy since my grandfather's death 3 years ago. It really makes me sad because I used to come here for weeks at a time in the summer and have so much fun. My grandmother and I were always really close. We still talk on the phone at least twice a day. I know that might sound excessive but she doesn't get to leave the house much and we have always lived far apart so that is the only way to keep in touch. My grandmother is a really kind and generous person. My family has always said I am exactly like here, but lately I've realized that it's not for the good reasons I would have hoped. I am very judgmental. My mother calls me the "hang'um judge" because I don't cut people much slack. I definitely got that from my grandmother. Anyway, I need to work on nurturing more of the good traits she gave me than the bad ones that have gotten so good at. :(

As soon as I get home I am going to post some pictures of my grandmother. We took her to get a haircut and she looks so cute now!

So on one of the first nice days all summer, Teres and I went to the beach...


A couple days later Jill and Mike joined us for another trip...



Hooray for me finally figuring out how to make the gigantic pictures my digital camera takes into smaller ones that can be uploaded. Baby steps people!