I have come to the end of my graduate school applications. It's hard to believe that the whole process started just this summer...it feels like i have been working on them forever. Now the only thing left to do is call to make sure they are all complete and wait. Although I'm sure most people finding the waiting part of applying for something tedious, I think it's nice. I like putting it out of my mind and thinking that it's someone else's responsibility. yay for being done!

I really hope that I get into at least one school. I mean of course it would be freakin fantastic to have a choice, but one would be ok too. I don't feel very confident about my chances but at least I've done what I can do.

In other news, Christmas wasn't very nice this year. I'm not sure what was missing but something just didn't feel right. There was no excitement on my part, and there were too many other things (and people) to worry about. I can't tell you how much I need to shake something up. Not in a crazy way, obviously, just in a way that changes a lot of things. I need a bunch of changes all at once but they have to be positive ones. I'm not really sure if I know what needs to change...okay, well I know a couple things, but really there are some things that are just lurking. I can feel it.

My aunt told me that she spoke to a psychic who told her that this year was going to be a good one. It's really funny because my aunt doesn't even believe in psychic but there she was telling all of us not to worry because this year would be great. She said the psychic told her that last year 2004 was destined to be a bad year and every psychic knew it. I thought back to all of the things that happened in my life this year and basically I feel like i have to believe her that 2005 will be better.

On the other hand, I know this year could have been much worse. I can't imagine all of the poor people who have suffered this year, the soldiers around the world fighting who have been away from their families, all of the children who have been hungry, and the elderly people who have been alone. I am very thankful for all that i have. I hope that 2005 will be a better year for everyone. I don't think that's too much to ask.

So far today has been pretty successful. I began this day by going to the post office and sending in 6 graduate school applications that will arrive on time and completed correctly to their respective destinations. I am very pleased with myself because I sat one room all day yesterday so that I could get it done. After getting that stuff mailed out I purchased my mother's xmas present. I have been struggling for weeks trying to think of something to get her and all of a sudden last night the perfect idea hit me. I know she is going to love it because it is totally her kind of thing. Furthermore, I hate buying people "items." In my family more value has always been placed on giving people experiences rather than objects. So for my mothers gift I got her a subscription to a club for a year. I am not going to disclose what kind of club it is for fear of getting laughed at and mocked by everyone...but let me just say that she will love it :)

The other thing that has made today very nice is that I received a brochure in the mail about accomodations for the binenial meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development. I am really (pathetically) excited to go to this conference and present my research, so getting all the info in the mail about it made me happy. THere is a bit of a downside to all of the conference stuff though. I found out the other day that my professor isn't going to go the conference because her research wasn't accepted. Now i have to go to Atlanta all by myself in April. I forsee many episodes of me asking random strangers for directions because I have gotten so lost. I am trying to convince my professor attend the conference even though she isn't presenting. In case she says no, anyone want to go to Atlanta in April? I hear it's beautiful that time of year.

Teres, all I can say is I know why you feel bad today. I know how easy it is to feel like you suck because of stupid things. That's why it's good to have people around who know you really well to say that you are amazing. For all of the times that I have been able to lean on you and for all of the stupid reasons I have hated myself, I can honestly say that you are beautiful and should never feel like you suck. Don't beat yourself up. You're amazing. Feel better and call me anytime because there isn't anything I couldn't drop if you want to take some time to unwind in the spa :)

[size=xl]Happy 22nd Birthday Teres!!![/size]

Imagine yourself in the future!