10/13/05 05:27 - ID#27699
It's not fair
The world is completely unfair. I have always believed that there was some kind of balance in the things that happen to people. I thought if you were a really good person you would be dealt with fairly. That’s not to say everything would go your way, but at least you would get you fair share of good and bad. Maybe I have always been too naïve but this is the way I thought life was. Now I realize that it is not that way at all. It doesn’t even matter what kind of person you are, bad things will happen to you. Mary, who has been a second mother to me my whole life, is very sick. She has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes. I can’t tell you how I feel because I’m basically falling apart. I know that nobody deserves to get sick, but this is just the most unfair thing I can imagine. Mary spends her life taking care of other people. When someone is sick or scared (which I have been many times) she drops EVERYTHING and comes to the rescue. She is not married and doesn’t have any children of her own, but she has taken care of her nieces and nephews (not to mention the children of her employees) as if they were hers. She is selfless, strong, and always positive. If you have a problem, you can count on Mary to rally everyone to your side. Now who is going to be there for her? Her family members, who are often the source of her problems, are there to take care of her and she has friends and people who love her, but she doesn’t have anyone like herself. None of us can be as good to her as she has been to us. Even put together, we don’t have the power to make everything okay. I feel so helpless because I want to make her feel safe and erase her fears like she has always done for me, but I don’t know how she did it. I wish I was home to just sit with her, to just be there. It’s just not fair. I can’t imagine her dying, she’s so young. I just can’t imagine it.
Permalink: It_s_not_fair.html
Words: 412
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Category: photos
10/03/05 11:23 - 70ºF - ID#27698
so many pictures
my apartment on Mass Ave.
the living room in our apartment
my room...I love my room!
bathroom all in purple
Lauren, my roommate
the coop in Harvard Square
my school
graveyard right near my apartment- the date on it is 1635!
downtown Boston is beautiful
Oktoberfest this weekend in the Square
i bought a dish for my mom's birthday
That's all for now. Hopefully I will get some better pictures of Cambridge. It's so lovely! (e:Matthew) you need to come here so that we can have some pictures that match the natural beauty of the area.
Oh yeah, I'm definitely coming home for thanksgiving. I can't wait because (e:beast) is coming home and I miss her sooooo much! Okay, bye bye for now.
Permalink: so_many_pictures.html
Words: 184
Location: Tonawanda, NY
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But know that you can help. When you reach out to someone who is seriously ill, no matter how small it may seem to you, it could mean the world to her. It's easy to think you can't make the grand gestures you want, or that you know she deserves, but i know you don't want her to think you aren't thinking of her.
I have been on that end. Friends thought they would do the wrong thing or not do enough to help, when all i needed to know is that they were there and that my illness wouldn't scare them away.
Let her know how much she means to you. Tell her you think it is unfair and you want her to fight it and you will be her cheerleader. If from afar, you will think of her.
It is very unfair. Get mad. Then get even. Don't let the disease beat you.. or her!!!
In terms of life not being fair. Sometimes good things happen to bad people and vice versa. Yes I do belive in do on to others and they would do on to you, and Karma and Things that go around will come around. But unfortunatly that often dosn't happen with health. I have never read it but there is a book that is supposed to be a big help it is called something like "why do bad things happen to good people" I hope I was of some help.