07/05/04 04:15 - ID#27631
This summer is kind of a boring one for me. I am basically doing more studying now than I usually do at school. Last week I took my first practice GRE and it was a total disaster. I had forgotten how much I hate standardized tests until this little doozy refreshed my memory. While it was a bit unsettling to get my scores back, my first experience with the wretched test did teach me a few things. First, I know far less of the English language than I should. Really I know far less than a middle schooler should...but let's leave that alone. Second, all of my math teachers until this point have failed me. Honestly I always did well in math. I even got an A in the math course I took in college. So why can't I do simple things like add, subtract, and multiple?! There is something very wrong here. I have been led to believe that I am competent in basic math all these years when really I am clueless. It must have been a huge conspiracy.
The sad part is I really need to do well on this test. It's so important to my future and I am not sure that I will pull through okay. I also need to take the GREs in psychology. Although I have done really well in all my psych classes in college I fear that I will find out the same unpleasant news in this test as I did in the other one. Honestly shouldn't my drive and passion mean as much as a standardized test score? I guess one might argue that if I have all this drive and passion I should be able to study my butt off for the test and do well in the end no matter where I start off. But I am not convinced that the world is fair in that way. Either way, I am spending a solid chunk of time every day studying. Hopefully it will make a difference.
The last component to my summer is the research I am doing with a professor from school. It's a continuation of a project we started last year dealing with heterosexual marriages in which the male partner comes out to being bisexual. It's pretty interesting and I am excited to get that work rolling now that I have met with my advisor. I definitely need something besides studying and being stressed though. Hopefully something fun will present itself this summer. I am bored way too much and way more anxious than is healthy. We'll see...
Location: Tonawanda, NY
06/22/04 06:13 - ID#27630
I feel like all truly bad confessions start like this but... I swore I was a person who would never have a live journal. It's not really that I think they are such a bad idea or even that I thought I wouldn't really enjoy keeping one, but I saw it more as a contradiction. The thought of a person keeping a public journal just seems strange...like isnâ€™t the point of a journal to be private, to have no one elseâ€™s opinions to worry about. I always thought live journals would inevitably lead to insincerity in what a person was writing. I guess this isn't really true for all people but I was (and sort of still am) fairly sure it would be for me. In any case, I have fallen to peer pressure and started one. I can't avoid it any longer because it seems that all of my friends near and far have one. In a time when I don't get to see the people I love quite as often as I'd like to I guess it just seems practical and kind of fun. Hopefully my preconceived notions about live journals will turn out to be wrong. Either way, I have conformed which is something that I have always prided myself in not doing. At least I can say the thing I broke down on wasnâ€™t sex, drugs or that fast lifeâ€¦just a live journal.
I will try to update this baby as often as would make it entertaining and no more than thatâ€¦God knows my life is not exciting enough to maintain anyoneâ€™s interest daily. Weâ€™ll see how it goes. For now take care and I will fill you in more later.
Location: Tonawanda, NY