I made this for all you bitter people!

i decided that i am not only going to abstain from relationships for a loooong time, i am also dropping sex and masturbation. funny it's not a hard decision to make right now, as i am not even able to masturbate without wanting to cry as i orgasm! i don't know why, but it makes me want to sob myself to sleep. so i'm quitting them all together.

it feels like the break-up happened weeks ago, when it's only been one week. i saw pics of the ex at a party he attended this weekend and i am happy to report that he looked like absolute shit! he looks like he's been literally smokin crack! quite shocking. someone told me that he was miserable the most of the time and stayed to himself.

good, i hope that bastard drowns in his misery.

i want us to remain friends, he said. FUCK YOU! you can befriend my fucking vomit as i puke up the fucking bullshit that spews out of your fucking mouth, you foul, selfish, self absorbed fuck. YOU LOOK LIKE FUCKING SHIT, and it now matches to your fucking personality, you slimy cockroach!


and with that, goodnight.

Um guys....

I'm drunk again!

Second night in a row....not like it's a problem or anything,...

I went to a polish dance with my parents and my stepsister. I got drunk with all the old, corny polish people. I am so lame....

But hey, beggers can't be choosers, I take what I can get.

Thank god for spell checker, cuz drunk + writing = shit

I lied, I didn't even use spell checker, too drunk to care.

I am a bitter woman, yes I am. And I think I will be for a looooong time.

Um guys...., I don't feel so good.....

I think I'm gonna pukey.....

I'm a little drunk....

Um....about those pictures...?

awwwww fuck it, poste em all...

and fuck men! i hate them all!

well at least that one...

so i put up a sound for my profile. it's a piece from ghost in the shell. if there are any anime fans here, you might know it.

i think it sounds like a death march.

how appropriate.

ok,

got out of the house. feel better. much better, even if it's temporary, it's good. went to the office and did some work. i got to vent to my boss, who is my age and can sympathize. dragged my daughter with me with the promise of dinner and a movie. while at work, i received a call from my ex-ex, which was a total surprise since we have not talked in many months. i got super paranoid that he might have found out about the now ex, so i did not answer the phone.

we had a yummy dinner at india gate. i had the lobster tandori which came with TWO lobster tails, so we were able to share.

we then went to market arcade to see underworld. as i'm sitting there in the empty lobby, who comes running in? the ex-ex. WTF? months without talking and he calls AND i run into him all in the same day, right after i get canned? i guess he now works next door as a server and was running after a customer who left something behind in the restaurant. he spots me and of course comes over and starts yapping.

i couldn't help myself. i had to lie. when he asked how my relationship was doing, i blurted out how in love we are. i asked how him and his g/f are and he replied, "why, are you going to take me back?"

NO.

it's funny. almost like a mini movie. he wants her, she wants the one that does not want her for not wanting him enough. everyone wants someone, and no one is happy.

This is how it all goes down in the end!

so i just found out that my old dentist and my parents current dentist for the past 15 years, was murdered in his home. stabbed to death. that has got to be the worst way to die, besides burning alive.

i have this irrational (maybe not so irrational) fear that someone is going to come into my house and murder me. i've watched so many A&E cold case files, that my imagination has me sleeping with a knife between the mattress and the box spring. my ex used to get freaked out that i would stab him in my sleep. i always thought it was his guilty conscience that was freaking him out.

anyways, i remember living in baltimore and having a room in the basement. it was one of those finished basements that had french doors that opened into the back yard and my back yard was a forest. so i used to get so scared that a serial killer would come though those doors and into my bed.

once, on a very rainy night, i was alone in the three story townhouse. alone in my basement room at three am, ironing my clothes. i could not see anything outside cuz it was pitch dark and the rain was pouring. standing in my room, anyone could see in, because of the windows and the glass doors, but i could see nothing but black.

suddenly, everything went dark. my lights, in the entire house, turned off. the tv turned off, everything went silent. i seriously thought to myself, "that's it, i'm done, i'm going to die. someone is here to finally kill me" i thought some madman cut the lights and snuck into the house and was now waiting for me to try to make a move across my room, up the stairs to the main floor. it took all the courage i had to run upstairs and call a friend to come pick me up. i was afraid to go outside, cuz i thought they could be waiting outside too.

so my friend drove 20 minutes at 3 am on a rainy night so that i could spend the night at her house. she came and went to check out the basement and saw that i blew a fuse with the tv, lights and iron working all at once.

i'm usually not that high maintenance. the only other time i got that freaked out was when our house on breckenridge got hit by lightning and set off all the smoke alarms. oh and while working as a flight attendant and we had to make an emergency landing on the morning of 9/11 when i was on my way to DC. ok, and one more, but someone actually got murdered in front of me. but that's it, i swear. usually i'm pretty brave. but someone is out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for me to fall asleep, foaming at the mouth and holding a filleting knife, waiting for just the right opportunity....to make his move...and make mine, my last.

Emerging Cinemas
by Charger



"Beginning today, February 1st, one of the Market Arcade Film and Arts Centre's (MAFAC) eight screens will be devoted exclusively to programming by Emerging Cinemas, the New York-based digital cinema network, featuring independent art house fare. MAFAC will be the fifth in Emerging Cinema's expanding national network of partner venues.

Films provided by Emerging Cinemas are digitally encoded with both high definition sound and images, and then sent to local servers located in individual theaters. The technology creates an expansive film distribution system, one that is no longer limited in scope due to the cost of producing and shipping bulky film prints.

"We couldn't be more excited about this partnership," said Giovanni Cozzi, president and co-founder with Barry Rebo and Ira Deutchman, of Emerging Pictures and its consortium of digital projection theatres, Emerging Cinemas. "Buffalo's independent film enthusiasts will now have a downtown screen exclusively devoted to a broad variety of the best in independent, foreign language, and documentary films.

"Many of the films that will be shown here would never have been exhibited in Western New York for various reasons, the largest being the availability of actual prints to project on screen," he says. "This new digital projection system will allow more documentaries, independents, and other art house films to be shown in Buffalo at the same time as they're being seen in the top five markets. We normally have to wait several months for certain movies to arrive, but not any more!"

The first film coming to the new Buffalo screen is an hilariously unorthodox comedy, "Go for Zucker," about which "Variety" wrote: "Politically incorrect but good-natured entertainment...Modern German cinema finally gets its first all-out Jewish laffer." "Go for Zucker" opens Wednesday, February 1, and runs through Monday, February 6. Show times Weds/Thurs/Fri/Mon (5:30) 7:30, 9:30 Sat/Sun (1:30, 3:30, 5:30) 7:30, 9:30

The remainder of February's Emerging Cinemas offerings are as follows:

Tuesday, February 7: "Isn't This A Time" - A documentary that Film-Forward.com called "A must-see for folk fans," highlighting a 2003 Carnegie Hall evening honoring music impresario Harold Leventhal and featuring folk greats The Weavers, Pete Seeger, Theodore Bikel, Arlo Guthrie, Peter, Paul and Mary and many more. Show times (5:30) 7:30, 9:30

Wednesday, February 8 - Tuesday, February 14: "Cache" - A French language thriller, starring Juliette Binoche and Daniel Auteuil, which received the Best Director award for Michael Haneke at the 2005 Cannes Film Festival. Show times Weds/Thurs/Fri/Mon/Tues (4:00) 7:00, 9:30, Sat/Sun (1:30, 4:00) 7:00, 9:30

Wednesday - Thursday, February 15 and 16: "Bubble" - Steven Soderbergh's return to his indie roots, this film examines an unlikely love triangle born in a doll factory in a small Midwestern town fallen on hard times. Show times Weds/Thurs (5:30) 7:30, 9:30

Friday - Monday, February 17 - 20: "Music from the Inside Out" - Hailed by "The New York Times" as "A crowd-pleaser --- musically, intellectually, emotionally! Profound and moving. A delight!" Groundbreaking in style and approach, and directed by Academy Award ? nominee Daniel Anker, this documentary explores music through the stories, passion and artistry of individual musicians drawn from a world-class American symphony orchestra. Show times Fri (4:00) 7:00, 9:30, Sat/Sun/Mon (2:00, 4:00) 7:00, 9:30

Tuesday, February 21: "The Passenger" - A suspense film by Michelangelo Antonioni, originally released in 1975, telling the story of a man trying to escape his own life. Starring film legend Jack Nicholson, the film was shot on location in Africa, Spain, Germany and England. Show times Tues (4:00) 7:00, 9:30

Wednesday - Tuesday, February 22 - 28: "Cowboy del Amor" - A comedic verite-style documentary about a cowboy-turned-matchmaker who can't manage his own love life: self-proclaimed "Cowboy Cupid" Ivan Thompson. Show times Weds/Thurs/Fri/Mon/Tues (5:30) 7:30, 9:30, Sat/Sun (1:30, 3:30, 5:30) 7:30, 9:30

Michael Clement reminds patrons, "It's very important that our audience members understand that in order for us to offer as many of these films as possible, some will be screened on a very limited and exclusive schedule at the MAFAC. A particular title will not have a traditional eight-week run. Some movies will only be at the theatre for a single day, others up to a week."

MAFAC will be mailing out a monthly calendar of Emerging Cinema screenings, as well continuing to send weekly e-mails with schedule and special screening information. To receive these mailing please e-mail msmith@buffaloplace.com.

fuck this shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I was fucking right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I FUCKING HATE ALL LIFE FORMS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this fucking earth needs to implode!!!